A/N: HEY! I'm back with a brand new chapie!
Okay, SUPER sorry for taking soo long! Just been busy, and I apologize for making this chapter kind of uneventful. Instead, it's more about the Stan and Kyle moments shared together, which is just as good as events if you ask me lol. I mean, I would've put more events in, but I think that 8856 words in one chapter is long enough, don't you? Oh, well. At least it'll tide you guys over until the next chapter. Also, as a last minute idea, I added the kindergarden teacher, Ms. Stevenson in for fun from the episode, "Miss teacher bangs a boy".
Oh, and one more thing, I just want to give a shout out to all my reviewers. You guys rock! You all make me smile:D "Thank you! Oh, thank you! You all are so wonderful" blows kisses lol... sorry, I'm okay...
Disclaimers: I don't own anything
Anyway, on to the story:)
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Rain
Kyle's POV:
Tink tink tink. I stirred slightly, wrapped in my warm cover. I could hear a faint, tiny delicate sound pulling me further, and further away from a realm of dreams. My eyes began to open still heavy with drowsiness. Tink tink tink tink. I rose from where I had laid as I rubbed my tired eyes open before I turned to my window where the noise had come from. The first thing my vision met was a flash of familiar raven hair, and almost instantly I knew exactly who it was. It was Stan tapping the glass pane with the tip of his index fingernail. He was soaked with rain from head to toe and drops of heaven's tears fell from the ends of his side bangs, his wet white t-shirt clinging to his chest. His eyes gazed upon my bewildered ones, and they looked so urgent and sad.
I slid out of bed, and stepped towards my poor, heavily breathing friend, my feet touching the cold hardwood floor. Each pair of eyes never left the other as I began to shiver once I had approached the freezing cold window. I started to fiddle with its stubborn lock while both our warm breaths made contact with cold glass, spreading frost across each other on the chilled wet surface. I was looking up at Stan as he looked down at me, sympathy in my eyes. His hand was raised, pressed into the thin barrier, wishing desperately that there was no such wall keeping us apart. Once I had finally gotten that goddamn lock to open, I slid the one clear divider that separated me from Stan, and stood back as he slid through the opening frantically, but gracefully, quiet as to not wake anybody up.
I quickly stole a glance at the clock to see that it was 3:32 am and then turned back to Stan. What was he doing climbing through my bedroom window, and why did he choose to do it this early in the morning? There was a brief silence as I stood there, confused, waiting for an explanation before Stan swiftly walked towards me until our bodies collided, his chest pressed up against my own without a word.
His wet figure was cold against my smaller one, his strong arms squeezing me very tightly. I couldn't help but shudder from the instant temperature change on my skin provided by Stan. I wanted to protest, but I found myself resisting the option, and choosing the opposite by wrapping my arms around him, squeezing him back, not caring how wet or cold he made me. I mean, how could I push him away? He obviously needed the comfort seeing how bad his state was, right?
Soon, however, the silence had become awkward. "Stan..." I spoke my friend's name with concern. He did not answer. I loosened my hold on him as I began to pull away to look at him. Stan's hold on me, though, tightened, refusing to let me go. My neck was the only part of me that could actually move in Stan's arms, leaving our noses not even a few inches apart. I could see his eyes so closely now, just realizing how blood-shot they were. I guess he had come here unable to sleep, but that still didn't explain to me why he seemed so upset.
As I continued to study Stan up close, the silence was finally broken, and confusion took over. "Kyle, thank god you're okay" he whispered, his voice trembling with sadness as he gave a small sniff. At first, the meaning of what Stan had said left me lost, but the way he said it made my chest twinge. I couldn't believe it. Stan had been crying. I could tell just by hearing him speak.
"Stan, I think I should be the one worrying if you're okay. What's wrong?" I asked.
"Oh. Nothing. Nothing's wrong" Stan's voice quivered again as he pulled away, trying to hide the impression he was giving me before.
"Stan, tell me"
"It's nothing... I-I just needed to know if you were alright"
"Why wouldn't I be?" I asked giving a puzzled look. Stan pulled his eyes away from mine, shrugging nervously.
I went to reach out and put a caring hand on my friend's shoulder before I nearly jumped out of my skin, and jerked away as there was a knock on my bedroom door. "Kyle, bubbie," Shit. It was my mom. "what's going on in there?" she asked as she began to open the door. Stan quickly went to hide in the closet as I shut my open window as fast as I could. She stared at me suspiciously in my door frame, clad in her pink nightgown and slippers. "N-nothing" I replied, answering her lingering question.
"Then what are you doing out of bed? I heard rumbling and voices" she pressed on.
"Y-yeah, that was me. I was... I was just having a bad dream" I lied.
"Well, try not to stay awake too long, Kyle. You have school tomorrow"
Okay, ma. I know" I said rolling my eyes in annoyance, wishing that she would just leave already. Her green eyes narrowed towards me, not liking my tone at all. However, she closed the door and left - not very quickly, I might add - before the tenseness in my body left as I gave a sigh of relief and went to let Stan out of my closet. Jesus, that was close.
Once I opened its door, I saw Stan sitting on one of the many boxes on the floor, his head lowered, body still drenched with rain. He eventually looked up at me, that sadness still in his eyes. It pained me to see him like this. I offered him a hand to help him up, which he took before I pulled myself into another wet hug from Stan, greatly not wanting to say what I was about to say. "... You should go. My mom's getting suspicious" I whispered, not loosening my grip on him. I felt Stan nod before we both let go of each other as I saw his disappointment. I began to rub his shoulder soothingly, and smiled warmly. "Come on. I'll give you a ride" I suggested. Stan raised his eyes to mine, fear within them as he opened his mouth and took a breath as he was going to say something, but than quickly snapped it back shut, and exhaled before his expression was replaced with a weak smile in agreement. God, I wanted to ask him what he was about to say, but I dismissed it, knowing that I had to get him out of the house as fast and as quiet as possible.
I turned away to pull on a pair of jeans, and then grabbed my coat, which was strewn on the floor before I turned back to Stan and silently lead him out my red wooded bedroom door. We both began to tip-toe passed my younger brother, Ike's room, and then my parents', loud snoring filling my ears projected by my mother, sound asleep. Stan gave another small sniff behind me as I stepped down each stair, the soft carpet squishing in-between my toes.
Downstairs was dark and lifeless. The only thing that could be heard was the rather loud ticks from our old clock in the living room, and the light pitter patter of rain falling from the night sky outside.
Once at the front door, I opened the coat closet, my nose instantly met by the light smell of old leather and shoes. I pulled out an extra jacket and extended it to Stan to which he shook his head and declined. I gave him a sympathetic look. Wasn't he cold? He had to be. I stood still for a second, the offer still in my hand incase he suddenly changed his mind, but he didn't. I shrugged it off before I hung the jacket back in the coat closet, threw a pair of shoes on, and gently unlocked and opened the front door.
Stan and I had to push the car halfway down the street before we could actually start driving back to his house from fear that my parents would hear, and catch me sneaking out with the car at this time a night... or morning I guess I should say.
The ride was silent. No words were uttered. Occasionally, out of the corner of my eye, I would see Stan glance over at me. However, when I went to glance back at him, he would always nervously break his sorrow-filled eyes away from me, and turn back to his rain-streaming window, goose bumps collecting on his skin.
Soon, we came to a full stop in front of Stan's house as I put my mother's car in park before the soft purring of the engine was silenced. "... Stan," I began, keeping my eyes glued on the wheel. I felt his eyes on me, sitting next to me as he waited for my next words. I turned my vision to catch his. "what happened tonight?" The blue eyes that rested upon me froze and then broke away, bowing down glumly as he mumbled something that my ears couldn't catch. "Sorry?" I asked, wondering what he had just said.
"I said, nothing. I'm fine, dude" Stan repeated as he looked back up at me, trying to put on a smile.
I sighed. Why wouldn't he tell me what was up? Why was it that every time I tried to comfort my best friend, he would just pull away, put up a strong front, and deny? Why wouldn't he just let me in like he used to when we were kids?
It was me now who felt locked outside of Stan's window as he touched my hands through the clear surface just unable to reach him, unable to get to him. I could see him right there in the car seat in front of me, but I could not get him to open up -- to open up his window. I was hellbent on reaching Stan. Even if that meant breaking through it, his strong front... but now wasn't the time.
"Hey," I began gently with a smile. "meet me tomorrow in the parking lot at lunch period. What do you say we drive to your place, hang out in the basement and play a little air-hockey?" I suggested. Finally, Stan spread a real smile, chuckling lightly.
We had had some pretty fucking good times in that basement of his. In it he had: an air-hockey table, a pool table, gamesphere, a foozball table, and a big screen TV! I know. That's a lot of shit, huh?
"When are you ever gonna learn that you will never beat me in a game of air-hockey, Broflovski?" Stan asked still laughing lightly.
"Hey, I'll win someday" I retorted.
"Yeah, when pigs come flying out my ass"
"Well, then be prepared 'cause that day is coming soon" I chuckled at Stan's earlier statement, thinking of how funny it would be if that actually happened when I won.
"We'll see about that" he spoke with his natural competitive voice. He seemed to be back to his normal self.
And with that, Stan had climbed out of the warm car, and into the cold night, rain teaming down on him as he ran towards the comfort of his own home. I watched him run to, and in his front door before I wrote his name on the back of my hand in pen next to all my other doodles and memos, and turned the car back on, speeding down the puddle spread road, further, and further away from the Marsh's residence and closer to mine, a permanent smile spread across my face that I just couldn't seem to force away. Tomorrow I would find out what was troubling Stan. Tomorrow, I would break through that window...
Stan's POV:
He was so warm to me as I had held him in my arms that night. He was beautiful, and fragile. I never wanted to let him go. No one or nothing was ever going to hurt him as long as I was there. "Stan..." he spoke softly in my ear. I did not answer from fear that it might ruin the moment. I wanted to stay like that forever with him. I felt him loosen his grip on me as he began to pull away, but I didn't let him leave. I squeezed him tighter as both our eyes met very closely, our noses almost touching. His green eyes gazed into mine, worried as his moist lips parted slightly as I was this close to leaning forward into a soft kiss, but instead spoke the only concern I had in the world, which was only him, in a whisper as if the words would somehow stand in the way of my lips from his.
"Kyle, thank god you're okay" my voice shook involuntarily, hoping he wouldn't notice .. but he did.
"Stan, I think I should be the one worrying if you're okay. What's wrong?" he asked, obviously hearing my waver. I stepped back, somehow just realizing how gay this must've looked. How uncomfortable he must have been. I couldn't let Kyle know what had happened that night and my instantaneous reaction towards it all. A reaction I had never used since elementary school. I mean, Jesus, I was supposed to be a fucking tough, 'straight' Jock! I NEVER cried!
"Oh. Nothing. Nothing's wrong" I lied, the uncontrollable tremble still within my voice that just wouldn't seem to go away.
"Stan, tell me" Kyle spoke, sympathy covering his gentle, charming features.
"It's nothing... I-I just needed to know if you were alright" I replied, my eyes still stinging from passed fallen tears.
"Why wouldn't I be?" he looked at me, confused as I broke our gaze down to the floor, shrugging, not knowing what to say without sounding... sounding so stupid.
Just then, there was a knock at the door, resulting in me looking up towards it as I shivered from the lack of Kyle's body heat pressed up against me. "Kyle, bubbie," my heart began to race. It was Kyle's mom who spoke, the gold knob just beginning to turn as I ran for the closet, and closed it shut...
It was much darker, and colder than it was in Kyle's bedroom, in his arms. It was closed up, and dusty with things that he probably had never used in years like his old green hat, his old basketball...
I heard the muffled voices in an exchanging of words as I began to sink towards the floor, and sat, holding my head in my hands in distress. What was happening to me? I had never reacted like this before. I couldn't quite place my finger on it as I sat there frustrated, puzzled, and on the brink of tears, trying to hold them back as hard as I could. What had happened to me that night?
Eventually, I heard the closet open as I sensed Kyle standing in the doorway, looking down at me. Soon enough, I mustered all the courage I had to look back at him and his astounding emerald eyes. After he extended a hand in helping me up, I whispered to myself in my head over, and over, 'Don't be gay. Don't be gay. Don't be gay. Don't be gay-'
But I was taken aback when Kyle embraced me with his own free will, slowly wrapping his arms around me, tightly. I felt a light smile sweep across my face, almost feeling like it had cracked my skin like I hadn't smiled in an era. The whole sensation was probably the consequence of a tear-stricken face, though. However, it did not last long before I heard Kyle's next heart-sinking words. "... You should go. My mom's getting suspicious" he whispered as I felt his warm breath on my cold ear. I began to nod slowly, and pretended to be okay just before he pulled back as I looked away, trying to hide the discouraged look in my eyes, afraid that he would see right through me. He's always had a knack for that sort of thing. "Come on. I'll give you a ride." That did it. My vision shot up in an instant as I took a breath to beg him not to drive... but then stopped myself, realizing that if any sane person heard my pleading words... I'd sound so fucking crazy... So I agreed in a smile.
On the way home, I listened to the windshield wipers make their scraping sound against the glass of Kyle's mom's car, each time swiping away each batch of rain drops only to be replaced with the next. Throughout the time I sat there in the front seat beside him, I would very so often glance over at Kyle only to gaze at him with a longing desire, but he kept catching me staring at him so many times that I eventually just stopped trying.
There was only silence and the thudding of the downpour outside as Kyle had turned off the car just staring at nothing in particular in front of our destination. "...Stan," he finally spoke softly. I turned my sore eyes towards him in a reply, telling him that I was listening. "What happened tonight?" His stare bore into my mind as if he were searching for an answer. I tore away to my feet. That had been the very same question that I had been asking myself lately. What had happened to me that night? It seemed like the answer was impossible to figure out, but when Kyle asked it... when he asked, everything just seemed so clear as I had just figured it out, and replied to his and my own question, more to myself, in a low mumble. "You were killed tonight, and I couldn't save you..."
"Sorry?" he asked, unsure of what I had just said.
"I said, nothing. I'm fine, dude" I looked back at him, lying right through my teeth as I tried to give a reassuring smile.
There was another pause as Kyle looked disappointed with my answer before he spoke again, this time with a kind smile. "Hey, meet me tomorrow in the parking lot at lunch period. What do you say we drive to your place, hang out in the basement and play a little air-hockey?" he proposed. Just then, I felt the skin on my face crack again as I began to laugh lightly, remembering all the good times we had down there at my house. We had a lot of shit down there, but air-hockey was by far me, and Kyle's favorite game. I know I like it because I'm good at it, but I don't know why he likes it so much. He must have had his ass kicked about a thousand times by now. "When are you ever gonna learn that you will never beat me in a game of air-hockey, Broflovski?" I chuckled lightly in his face as if him beating me was such an ignorant, naive thought.
"Hey, I'll win someday" Kyle shot back, his finger pointed at me.
"Yeah, when pigs come flying out my ass" I challenged.
"Well, then be prepared 'cause that day is coming soon"
"We'll see about that" I gave one last smile towards Kyle, evilly before I opened up the car door and made my way to my house, sighing as soon as I had shut the front door behind me...
I smiled lightly to myself as I remembered what had happened last night with Kyle... and the erotic dream I had dreamt about him on top of the air-hockey table as I sat on the bench, the parking lot before me, waiting for my best friend to show up during our lunch period. The visible emotion on my face, however, was soon replaced with a tired look of disgust as I turned beside me to see the heavy weight-shifter who now sat next to me. "Ugh, what do you want, Cartman? I'm not in the mood" I groaned in annoyance.
"Aww, why so grouchy, Stan? Are you tired from last night because you were butt-fucking the Jew until morning again?" Cartman cooed. I squeezed my eyes tight as I pinched the bridge of my nose, trying to excuse his last words.
"Look, dude. I'm just trying to wait for Kyle in peace. Could you just do me a favor and just fuck off for one day?"
"Fine, but be prepared to sit here until next class starts" he sighed, his tone unchanged. I turned to him.
"... Why?" I asked suspiciously. The fat bastard knew something.
"Oh, no reason. Just that he wasn't here first, or second period today" Cartman replied, laying back where he sat beside me as I felt the whole bench move under all his weight. I was afraid the whole thing would eventually tip over or collapse.
"WHAT? What did you do to him!"
"Kay, relax, Stan. I didn't do nothing to your little boyfriend. I'm just telling you the facts" Cartman spoke seriously as the rage pulsing through my body left before he got up from the bench and walked away.
I sighed deeply, watching students walk by me on their way to eat as I saw Bebe, and Clyde in the midst of them all, laughing about something unknown to me. Soon, I saw Kenny, Tweek, Token, and Craig begin to pass me by. "Hey, Stan, you sure you don't want to come along to Subway with us?" Kenny shouted from across the parking lot.
"Naw, you guys go ahead without me. I think I'm gonna wait here a bit longer" I shouted back. Kenny shrugged it off as he gave a small wave goodbye, and began to walk downtown with the rest of the group.
Soon, outside became quiet. No one was around but me as I still awaited Kyle's arrival. Maybe Cartman was telling the truth. Maybe Kyle just didn't come to class today... but Kyle never skips so that must mean... something bad might have happened to him! What if he was in an accident on the way to school? The roads were pretty slippery today! All the images from my dream last night came into play: how sick he looked... how I just... just lost him. I shut my eyes tight and began to tug at my hair, frustrated. "No, no, no, no, no, no..." I whispered the same word constantly again, and again...
"Stan?" I heard a small voice ask. I looked up to find my girlfriend, Wendy standing in front of me in a violet top, and light, short skirt. "Oh, hey Wendy" I replied as she sat down next to me, her thigh brushing against mine slightly as she caressed it through my jeans gently. "What's wrong?" she asked as she put an arm around me, pulling me into her touch. "Nothing," I answered her question glumly. "just having a bad day." Her hand left my leg, placing her finger and thumb around my chin as she turned my face towards hers, and lay a sweet kiss on my lips in an attempt to cheer me up as I kissed her back, tasting her strawberry lip gloss faintly. "Come on, baby. At least have something to eat. Come to the caf with me?" she asked. I gave a light smile as I nodded, agreeing to her offer, and giving up on waiting any longer before I stood, making my way to the cafeteria with my girlfriend, but there wasn't a single moment of it all where I wasn't thinking of my best friend...
The next half of the day went by slowly. Every minute of every class I was worrying about Kyle and what might have happened to him. I knew I was overreacting, but I couldn't help it. Throughout English Kenny kept giving me these concerned looks before, and even after I told him why I was acting the way I was. I didn't tell him about my dream, though. He told me that Kyle would be fine, and that I would see before Ms. Ellen caught us talking in the middle of her lesson...
Kenny and I are now on our way to Kyle's to see if he's alright. The clouds above us were still grey, and all the lawns we passed were still wet from last night and this morning's storm. My eyes turned to my feet as I readjusted my backpack on my shoulder, my fingers trembling slightly with my companion's stare upon me. "Dude, I'm sure he's fine" Kenny spoke soothingly. I looked up to him and his eyes of gold under his jacket hood and blonde hair, a cigarette in-between his lips. I smiled weakly, and nodded just as Kyle's house came into view.
Kenny took one last drag as he dropped and squished the butt into the ground just before we came up onto Kyle's porch, and knocked at his front door. It was his mom who answered. "Oh, hello, boys" she greeted us.
"Hi, Mrs. Broflovski," I said sounding a little rushed, eager to see if Kyle was alright. "Is Kyle home?"
"Oh, Kyle is quite sick, but I'm sure he'd appreciate some visitors for a couple minutes. He's up in his room if you'd like to see him" she offered. A look of fear swept across my face, just remembering my dream... but I saw him last night. He was fine. Kenny and I both nodded, smiling as she stepped aside to let us in. I immediately bolted in and up the stairs, towards Kyle's room and knocked on the red wooded door feverishly, almost too afraid to believe that Kyle being sick was true until I saw it myself. Kenny was now by my side. I reached out and grasped the cool golden knob of Kyle's bedroom door, afraid of what was on the other side, and turned it slowly, sighing inwardly as I pushed the door open...
Kyle's POV:
I awoke with a terrible pain in my stomach that night. I felt like shit. I was sweating pretty hard as I felt I was gonna hurl. Quickly, I stood out of bed, and ran out into the hall, and into the washroom to kneel before the white ceramic bowl and let it all out.
It was disgusting! I coughed, spewed, and gagged as I took gasping breaths in between, leaving my throat with this unpleasant sensation that I've always hated.
I pulled the small lever to flush it all away when my dad came bursting through the door in his suit and tie. It must have been a bit past five seeing as he was almost ready to leave for work at 5:30. I looked up at him with tired eyes in my boxers and Three Days Grace t-shirt. "Kyle, you look terrible. Are you alright?" he asked slowly, concern shining through his words as he knelt down beside me, and brought a cloth to my face before he wiped around my mouth, my eyes half open. I felt him grip me as he lifted me to my feet, helped me wash up, and guided me back to bed.
"I'll tell your mother you won't be going to school today," he whispered once I had settled in my sheets again. "and don't forget to take your insulin. Call me if you need anything." He smiled down at me warmly as he brushed away a few red curls before his thumb stroked my forehead gently. "Feel better, son" he spoke as he lent down to kiss my head through my hair. I nodded as he left the room, leaving me to rest in darkness.
I reached for the clock on my night stand to turn off the set alarm. I wouldn't be needing it. As I did so, I noticed that it was 5:20. It had almost been two hours since Stan had come knocking at my window. God, I could still remember so clearly just how upset, shaken and... vulnerable he was. And then what do I do? I just fucking throw him back out. I mean, just what kind of piece-of-shit friend was I? I ran a hand through my curls in distress, but as I began to pull away, I stopped, just seeing Stan's name written on the back of my hand in black pen. It was with all my other works of art in blue ink, which were now faded, but the word, 'Stan' stood out clearly on my skin. I sighed as I remembered the plans I had made with him for today's lunch hour, and how I wouldn't even be there at all. Shit, not only I not there for him once, but now I wasn't going to be there a second time. I felt horrible! Anything that involved Stan at all was at-the-top-of-the-list important. Especially when he was, dare I say, crying! That was usually my job... crying, I mean. I don't think there has been a single fucking time where he hasn't been there for me. I mean, he was there when I was dumped by Bebe, he was there tonight for the Casa Bonita celebration... and here I was just... just treating him like shit compared to the way he treated me. "I'm so fucking sorry, Stan... for everything" I whispered to my lonely Stan-less window, his hand print still faintly visible on the glass, and shut my eyes, falling into a restless sleep...
It wasn't the best slumber to go down in history. Just add waking up, and running to the toilet through four hours seven goddamn times where both me and my ass throw up. On top of that, I can't even count how many times I had to take a piss! I swear to god, I have no fucking clue where it's all coming from! It's like I drank twenty glasses of water, or something!
I was fully awake then as I was getting hungry. I quickly took my insulin before I went downstairs, searching for mom, but I had no such luck. Where the hell was she? Maybe she went out grocery shopping. Who knew? I shrugged it off as I got a glass of water to quench my dying thirst, and put together a sandwich only to have it all thrown up in the toilet some time later... again.
However, that was the last time I had gotten sick up until now in the early afternoon, but I had developed this headache, and my stomach had this after-pain thing, or something, I guess from all the nausea. I suppose being sick can take a lot out of you, but I was seeming to be getting much better than before.
I turned to the time. Stan should be out of school by now. I hope he's better than he was last night. I mean, it was almost scary to see Stan, of all people, like that in such a state...
Just then, I heard someone come in. I looked up from where lay in bed for my eyes to settle on the one standing in my doorway. "Kyle, bubbie, you're awake. How are you feeling?" she asked kindly. I smiled. "Hi, ma. I'm a lot better than I was... Where were you today?" I asked out of the blue, just remembering how she couldn't be found before. She began to walk towards me, and sat on my bed as she replied to my curiosity, her ruby-red hair tied up tightly in a firm bun. "Oh, I had to go do some volunteer work. I left you a note with my cellphone number."
"You did? I guess I didn't see it. Where was it?" I asked.
As she was about to answer, both our gazes turned outside my room as there was a hasty knock at the front door. Promptly, mom stood from my bedside, and made her way to greet whoever awaited outside, telling me that she would be back, and closed the door behind her.
I could hear muffled voices in a conversation, and then quick footsteps running up the staircase. I sat up under my covers with a little trouble as I held my front...
It was Stan, and Kenny who walked in. Kenny smiled, but Stan just stood there frozen in time like he was shocked or something. I felt the worrying feeling sliding along into an expression towards him. His eyes held the exact same look as they did last night.
"Hey, Ken," I greeted calmly, and then turned to his companion beside him. "Hey, Stan." Silence. The one I had addressed didn't reply. He just stood there like a mannequin. "Stan?" I tried again, questioning him to speak. He moved this time. He walked towards me, and sat on my bed, shaking a little bit before he grabbed me gently in a tight squeeze as I hugged him back as hard as I could like I had before.
I could hear his breaths so close to me now. They were raspy as a waver was present, but there were no tears. "Shh, everything is going to be okay, Stan" I whispered as I turned to his ear, trying to comfort my poor best friend. I felt him shiver under my arms for a second before he pulled away as I felt Kenny sit on the other side of me.
There was a pause before I changed the subject. "So what did I miss today?" I asked. Kenny smiled widely. "Oh, man. You fucking missed it, dude! You know our hot math teacher, Ms. Stevenson?" he asked excitedly. I frowned. "You mean the old kindergarden teacher who had sex with my little brother, Ike when he was 3 years old?" I asked sarcastically. Of course I knew her! I thought she was fucking sickening! "Yeah, her!" he exclaimed, un-phased as if I actually wanted to hear this crap. "Today, she totally spilt coffee all over her white top, and she wasn't even wearing a bra! It was a beautiful sight!" Kenny was beaming, and his perverted smile never failed to stay strong. I couldn't help but ease up and laugh. I mean, how could I not? "Thanks for the update," I chuckled. "but I kind of was talking about the class. Assignments? Anything?"
"Oh, right. Just do pages 216 and 217 from the textbook" Kenny reported still giggling about his earlier news.
I rolled my eyes before I turned to Stan who's expression had brightened up now. I was glad he was smiling as I returned it. "What about in Science?" I asked.
"Uh, we took a note," Stan told me as he went digging through his backpack, and took out two pieces of line paper from his binder to lend to me. "and study for the quiz on Friday." He extended the two pages to me before I looked them over. I squinted in confusion as I tried to read it. I couldn't understand it at all. Besides the point of there being paragraphs and bullets, the whole thing was so squished together that it all looked like one gigantic word. Even after that, the letters were so close together that his 'o's and 'l's looked like 'd's, and his 'l's and 'c's looked like 'k's. I voiced this to him as he smiled, and continued a stupid argument jokingly. "Well at lease my '8's don't look like retarded snowmen with their heads falling off" he shot back playfully as we humored each other all the while chuckling.
"Yeah, but people actually know what I mean when I write an '8's. Plus, that's just one minor thing. I can't understand a goddamn word here, dude".
As the pointless, meaningless bickering/giggling thing went on, I could feel Kenny's eyes upon us as he just sat there quietly until the point where I had to stop, and turn to his grinning face to ask him the ever-popular question we all ask when someone is randomly staring at you. "What?"
Kenny shrugged, still smiling as he replied with a, "Oh, nothing" and began a small string of light giggles himself. I coked my head to the side a little, and gave him a confused look. He was making less sense than Stan's writing.
"...Kay" I spoke before I let it pass, and turned back to Stan. "I'll just get it from Craig through msn" I told him as he nodded before I changed the subject once again. "Hey, man, I'm sorry I didn't show up today. I didn't mean to blow you off" I apologized. Kenny's light giggles immediately turned into a huge fit of laughter before I turned to him again, raising an eyebrow.
Stan rolled his eyes, shaking his head at Kenny's perverted humor, smiling as he knew that none of us understood this guy, and I don't think we ever would. He was such a mystery, and sometimes it was so frustrating to always be trying to figure out what exactly was going on in that fucked-up mind of his, but I don't think any of us would trade any of those moments away. I mean, I know I wouldn't, and knowing Stan, I'm positive that he wouldn't either. "Holy fuck! I'm gonna piss myself! he said wiping a tear from his shimmering eye, sounding like a laughing hyena all while he stood, and made his way to the washroom.
Stan turned back to me with a soft smile, picking up the lost conversation. "It's cool, dude. You were sick." His words were passive, yet gentle as was his smile, which I returned, but as a pause was gathered, I couldn't help but ask the one question that had been dying to pass my lips since his unexpected visit. "Stan... please tell me... tell me what was wrong last night." As I stumbled upon my words, I saw as Stan's smile slowly was slipping away, turning his eyes so stiffly to my bedroom floor. I could barely hear it, but I noticed his breathing quickened slightly as he kept his gaze down, swallowing hard. "Kyle, I..." he cut himself off only to be left in another string of silence, his head still bowed as he began to tremble again a little. I reached out, and put a comforting hand on his shoulder, rubbing it with concern as if to tell him what I had said before, that everything was going to be alright. This caused him to look back up at me with that same sadness in his eyes that I had never seen in years before just recently, and, at the same time, probably the same gaze that I would never forget. His chest rose, and fell in a deep sigh as a preparation to finally say what I had needed to hear for a while now. "...I-"
Stan was cut off yet again only this time by my mother saying that it was time to go, and I needed rest. I dug my fingernails into my green covers in anger, glaring at her for her rotten timing, but she didn't seem to notice and take the hint. Stan turned to me from my mom as he gave me a weak smile before he said goodbye and to get well soon. He began to walk towards, and out the door as I felt this separation anxiety within. Each step Stan took increased the feeling until the point where I couldn't help but beckon after him, trying to stop the next footstep from coming. "Stan, wait!" I saw him turn as he watched me from the door, responding to my call. I was caught speechless. I guess I didn't think the whole thing through. I mean, sure, I stopped him for one last moment, but what exactly was I to say afterwards? The pause was awkward, which caused him to blush a little. I kept my eyes on his as he waiting for me to continue. "Don't... Don't forget about our air-hockey match." My words were unsure at first, but by the time they had ended, they had ended challengingly. Stan broke out into a smile as he nodded. "Wouldn't dream of it" he replied before my mother herded him out, and downstairs.
I lay down again, and once more turned to my window, new raindrops glistening as they rolled down out of sight before I fell into yet another, but this time deep, sleep...
Stan's POV:
As I had stepped into Kyle's room, I felt the world freeze as did I, seeing a sight I was hoping not to face. How? He was fine before...
I heard his sweet voice addressing me, pulling me out of my state of thought. When I had tried to reply, I found myself unable to speak. "Stan?" he asked again, wondering why I wasn't answering. From the sound of the way Kyle spoke, I could tell that I was making him uncomfortable. I just couldn't seem to find my lost breath filled with words. So instead, I moved towards him, and sat on his bedside, taking him into my arms once again, afraid that if I didn't, he would leave, and I wouldn't be able to reach him again as the distance would become farther, and farther away until the point where it would be too late. I felt his tight grip around me as soon as I had made contact with him. "Shh, everything is going to be okay, Stan" he whispered in my ear causing me to shudder. I pulled away from his comforting embrace as Kenny sat down on the other side of Kyle, smiling at us before Kyle spoke again.
"So, what did I miss today?" he had asked.
Kenny's smile grew. "Oh, man. You fucking missed it, dude! You know our hot math teacher, Ms. Stevenson?" A light smile had danced across my face as I chuckled mentally about Kenny's little Hot Teacher's Coffee Fiasco story, and about how he told everyone in his sight who didn't already know. However, I didn't believe Kyle was the right person to talk to about Ms. Stevenson, what with what had happened in fourth grade when he found out that she was banging Ike at the tender age of three. Kenny didn't seem to pick up the danger signals Kyle was giving off, though -- his face flushing, his lips tightening, the crossing of his arms, or the sarcasm in his tone when he had answered Kenny's question in a clarification of just who she was. "Yeah, her!" he replied, his hazel eyes gleaming in excitement. "Today, she totally spilt coffee all over her white top, and she wasn't even wearing s bra! It was a beautiful sight!" After Kenny had reported the obvious highlight of his day, I saw Kyle's frown break into a smile, and laugh. "Thanks for the update, but I kind of was talking about the class. Assignments? Anything?" Kyle asked, amused.
"Oh, right. Just do pages 216 and 217 from the textbook" Kenny answered as he still seemed giddy about the class I'm sure he'll always remember.
Kyle then turned, a smile in affect towards me. He had asked me if we had any Science homework, to which I answered and told him that we took a note as I searched through my bag, and handed him two pages from my three ring binder before just remembering to remind him to study for the quiz on Friday as he looked it over. "Stan, I can barely understand this. Besides almost this whole thing looking like one gigantic sentence, your letters are so squished together that your 'l's, and 'c's look like 'k's" he told me as I smiled widely. Kyle knew that ever since middle school, I had had to type up every one of my assignments just so teachers would be able to read them. It's true that I can barely print, but it's also a fact that my writing is even worse, and he fucking knew it. He was just looking to give me a hard time, so I started acting out a whole idiotic argument, and Kyle seemed to be all for going along for the ride. I retorted, saying something about his '8's looking like retarded snowmen, which they really did, but I knew it was a lame hit, but then again, it was a lame fake argument.
It continued if you can believe it, but it was soon stopped as Kyle turned to Kenny as he just stared at us, obviously amused. "What?" Kyle had asked.
"Oh, nothing" he had replied, shrugging as he began to giggle pointlessly like a lunatic. Kyle gave him a weird look as I shot him a glare. I knew what he was giggling about. Kenny finding out about my secret yearning for Kyle was a BIG mistake on my part. Thankfully, Kyle was oblivious to it all as he tried to dismiss the giggles projected by Kenny, and told me that it was fine about the note, saying that he'd get it from Craig through msn later before he went on to a new topic. "Hey, man, I'm sorry I didn't show up today. I didn't mean to blow you off" Kyle tried to apologize, but he didn't need to. I was about to voice this to him, but by that time, Kenny's small giggles had turned into loud obnoxious laughter. I rolled my eyes, shaking my head as he went to leave to take a leak. Sex is the only thing that guy ever thinks about. Even the word, 'blow' gets him going.
I watched Kenny leave before I turned back to Kyle as I restarted our earlier conversation, telling him that there was nothing he could do about being sick, and smiled warmly. Kyle accepted it with a smile of his own, but I saw it fade as there was a pause. He looked serious now as I saw his expression was hesitant. "Stan... please tell me... tell me what was wrong last night." Kyle's words kept trailing off, but as soon as he found all his words, I began to lose my smile, and turned away from his beautiful pleading eyes to the ground, embarrassed and afraid. My eyes began to sting as my breathing became uneven. I was trembling as I felt I was gonna lose it, tears so close to being spilt. I spoke his name, but my voice shook weakly as I trailed off, trying to get myself together. I had just felt so exposed in front of him as I felt his hand on my shoulder, stroking it soothingly. I looked up at him again, his green-gem eyes fearful with such concern.
I took a deep breath as I was about to tell Kyle my stupid, pathetic story before I was interrupted by Mrs. Broflovski, telling me that Kyle needed his rest. I nodded, and then turned back to Kyle, wishing him well as I stood and made my way out of the Broflovski home. I desperately didn't want to leave Kyle, but I didn't have a choice. I mean, I couldn't just randomly cling onto him, and complain about leaving my best friend like some little kid, so... I just left. However, just then, I heard a voice hold me back, calling my name, pleading me to wait. I turned to Kyle, a red curl draped over his eye making him look kind of sexy as I blushed, and waited for his next words. "Don't... Don't forget about our air-hockey match" he reminded me slyly in a tone that almost told me that I wasn't getting away that easy. I nodded. "Wouldn't dream of it." I smiled at how very true those last words really were before Mrs. Broflovski escorted me downstairs to where Kenny awaited, and showed us both out.
Once we were back out in the fresh air, Kenny immediately whipped out another cigarette from it's pack, and lighted it as he inhaled, blowing out a long stream of smoke. He smiled at me, raising both his eyebrows twice almost evilly. "Why are you staring at me like that?" I asked uncomfortably.
Kenny sighed as if it was blatantly obvious. "He's so hot for you, dude."
"No, he's not, Ken. You just wish in your perverted little mind" I replied, another blush creeping along my face.
"You know, Marsh, sometimes I think you're more clueless than Kyle himself about this whole damn thing. I mean, I don't know what you guys were talking about, either letters, snowmen or some shit like that, but what I do know is that he was flirting with you to the maximum. And don't even get me started about the way he was touching you because I can tell you that that was far from a straight-guy hug, my friend"
My cheeks were starting to burn as Kenny finished expressing his observations to me to which I remained silent. However, it was soon broken by Kenny's next taunting words. "Stan, you're Kyle's future lover" He popped the cig out of his mouth only to make smoochy sounds with his lips puckered.
"God, dude, you sound like a fucking little seven year old shit" I chuckled, pushing him away as he laughed, ending that conversation, which I was thankful for.
As we walked to our separate homes side by side, I felt a drop of rain hit me on the nose. I looked up to the now fully grey sky as more showers came, and started to beat down on us. "Aww, shit," Kenny exclaimed as he quickly threw on his hood in an attempt to keep dry. I'm gonna take the short cut to my place. I'll see you tomorrow, Stan" he quickly waved me goodbye before he practically sprinted down an ally way.
As I was left with the only company of the rain, and my thoughts, I began to walk towards my uncle Jimbo's, to where I sough the closest dry place to go.
Unlike Kenny, my pace was at a gentle stroll as my fists jammed into my jean pockets, my hair becoming soaked along with my blue t-shirt, but I didn't care. My sneakers eventually started to squish as I approached my uncle's house in the distance.
I began to think of what Kenny had said: the way Kyle had held me in his arms, the way he supposedly flirted with me... However, soon my mind began to focus on other things after Kenny had gone: the way I had trembled, and almost broke down in front him, how I was so close to telling him what had happened last night... How I had dreamt of him, how I had lost him to the dark and then to the road, how I couldn't live without him, how... how I loved him...
Kyle meant the world to me, but what happens when the world comes to an end? I had already experienced that in a nightmare in which I had barely made it through. I couldn't let it happen again... not this time...
Rain:
"I see you, I'm running,
but I don't know my way
I'm so afraid to tell you
all I need to say.
The heavens are falling,
and I can't get away...
And I see rain
living without you.
It's not the same
living without you again.
I feel pain
living without you.
I see rain..."
-Barefoot
A/N: YES! I'm finally finished chapter four!! Please tell me what you guys think in a review. I love reviews... wink wink nudge nudge For any information about me, fics or recent news, please visit my profile page. Any further questions or concerns can be answered through sending me a private message. Thanks for reading:)
Peace Out:)
PS
StanXKyle4eva!XD