July 12th 2013

Day 16

Draw me like one of your French girls

The morning followed its usual mundane routine, draining me of all my will to continue running this hamster wheel. I was fatigued, yet all I had done is sleep, well at least I tried to. After rinsing myself of all my tears I pulled the blanket over my head to shelter myself from the outside and escaped into my dreams. Like most nights, I couldn't exactly remember what I had dreamt of, but it must've been wonderful since it had completely captured me, making me never want to open my eyes again.

Still, I dragged myself out of the blanket this morning when the nurses came around to wake us. I waited until I was certain he had left, I didn't want to face him right now. I had to find some type of life within me before I was met by Erratic Ezra. I wasn't in the mood for his unpredictable nature. If he was close off, it would hurt me. If he wasn't, it would irritate me. It was best to steer clear of him today, as best as I could whilst being confined in the same small building as he.

I crept into the cafeteria, hoping to go unseen by his dark blue eyes. I shuffled in close behind the fork-stabber, risking my own health just to avoid his gaze. It appeared to have been a successful manoeuvre as I collected my oatmeal. I frowned down at the bowl as it was shoved before me. No improvement here I see. Still, I smiled gratefully at the cafeteria lady and shuffled along. One thing I certainly missed about Rosewood High was the food there, one of the perks of attending a suburban school.

I cursed myself as I felt the burning of his stare at the side of my face, I attempted to forces my sights elsewhere, but I couldn't help myself as I found my eyes drawn to him. As soon as my hazel eyes met his blue ones my heart skipped a beat. I pulled my gaze away instantly and fell into the closest seat to me. I put my bowed my head and stared at the bowl of oatmeal, it wasn't the best sight- or smell for that matter- but it beat catching eyes with Fitz.

Suddenly, I heard shuffling from opposite me and the weight of another body joining my table. I momentarily hoped it wasn't him. But, as hope usually goes, mine was shattered as I caught a whiff of his familiar scent that was mixture of coffee and shower gel. It amazes me how he still managed to carry such a strong scent in a place like this. The only smell that lingered here was either moth balls or chemicals. Not homely at all. Ezra, however, smelt of home. Not of my home, but of a home. Either way, it made me feel warm inside.

"Hey, you okay?" He asked, I could hear the uncomfortable tightness in he's voice.

He knew I wasn't alright and he suspect that he was the reason. I could sense it. Along with the smell of coffee and cleanliness, Ezra also reeked of guilt.

"Dandy." I sarcastically smiled before I plunged my spoon into the gooey liquid.

"Anything I can do to make you feel better?" He asked, the hint of a smile tracing his lips as he attempted to coax some reaction out of me.

He got a reaction alright, "how about you leave me alone." I muttered as I rose from my seat and retreated to a secluded table alone.

Not the reaction he may have expected though.

I was thankful he kept to my wishes by keeping his distance, yet I still frequently felt his lingering longing looks throughout the morning. But he didn't attempt to approach me. Not even once. He clearly could respect my wishes better than I could his... maybe I should see how he is. I couldn't bare to watch him moping around like this. I saw that dark cloud looming above his head again and it ached knowing that I put it there.

He sat amongst a few familiar, unnamed faces as they all stared at the television screen, none of them seeming to register what was happening. They were all too lost in their own thoughts. Ezra's eyes were trained there too, his right ankle resting on his thigh and his left thumb caged between his teeth, chewing anxiously.

"Wanna hang out?" I sheepishly asked, standing across from him.

His head shot to look at me, a faint smile rising on his exhausted face, "You sure?"

I softly chuckled and allowed a smile to grow on my chapped lips, "Of course. I need some sort of muse around here." I then waved my sketch pad at him and his grin widened.

Immediately he jumped up from his seat with new found life. He began walking towards me with a smirk, "make sure to draw me like one of your French girls."

We managed to sneak off into the arts and crafts room once again. He sat opposite me, pulling exaggerated facial expression as I began to sketch him; eyes narrowed, tongue poking from the side of my mouth. I playfully rolled my eyes every time he contorted his face into another hideous expression.

Finally I glared at him, "Stop. I want to do this seriously."

He chuckled and nodded, "Okay. Okay. Sorry."

"Who knows, one day it might be hanging in the Basia." I joked with a light shrug.

"I don't doubt it. Make me look handsome though." He playfully puffed up his chest and shot me a cheesy grin.

I light-heartedly seethed a breath, "I'll try my hardest."

"Ouch." He winced. "You've wounded me, Aria."

"If you keep pulling those faces then you'll truly feel what it's like to be wounded by me, Mr Fitz." I warned.

I was surprised when I saw he's smile fall into a frown, one he was clearly attempting to disguise. I could see it though. I could see it in he's eyes that something had changed in him, like my words had flipped a switch in he's mind. I wasn't sure what I could've said to offend him. I was just joking.

I placed the Sketchpad in my lap, watching as he's stared vacantly at the nothingness surrounding us, "Ezra, I didn't mean what I said. I'm not going to actually hurt you, I was just playing."

He then shook himself free of whatever had captured he's mind, "What? No, I know you are, Aria. I'm fine." He gave a weak smile and I wasn't sure if pressing him with questions would be a good idea. Ezra and I had a silent agreement to not talk about these sorts of things. We were each other's escape from the real world, letting our friendship and our problems intertwine would be messy.

I continued drawing him until inevitably Carol burst through the pale green doors and gave us a disapproving look to which we both sulked out of the room like two naughty toddlers.

The day slowly came to an end. We didn't do much other than engage in 'Circle Time' after we were caught by Carol. Finally, we retreated to our room and slugged over to our respective beds. I snuggled into the blanket, thankful for the warmth it provided my petite body. My mind usually succumb to sleep rather easily being that I was exhausted most of the time anyway, but tonight was different. I couldn't shake what had happened earlier, couldn't shake the image of Ezra's despondent face. I want to help him have fun and be happy, but I'm not sure that can truly happen unless he confronts he's past- unless we both do.

"You awake?" I whisper to him, my voice echoes throughout the room and I hear a few displeased grunt in response but I don't care.

"Yeah. What's up?" He whispered back.

"Earlier, when you got lost..." I hesitantly began, not sure if I was over-stepping my mark. He hummed in response, encouraging me to continue. "Um...was it because I called you Mr Fitz?"

For a few beats I was met with silence and I assumed he had fallen asleep, until I heard him clear his throat.

"Yeah. It's. Ah. I just got caught up in fun, it just kinda brought me back to reality." He sighed, but I didn't respond. I remained silent as I tried to decipher the meaning behind the words, but couldn't. "It's been a while since anyone's called me it and now you're saying it. I don't know. It just doesn't feel right." He awkwardly chuckled, I could tell he found no real humour in the concept though. Still, I couldn't tell why it had such an impact on him though.

I furrowed my brows in confusion, sitting up to look over to him, "Have you not taught since Rosewood High?"

"Nope." He responded, popping the 'P.' I could tell he was trying to appear flippant, but there was a subtle strain in he's voice and I knew there was more to this than he was letting on.

"Did you like Rosewood High?" I asked.

I saw as he shrugged under he's blanket, "There were some good parts... some bad."

"Yeah, I get that." I sighed.

"Do you?" There was a sudden abrasiveness to he's tone, stunning me into silence.

I opened my mouth to retort back to he's comment, but I allowed it to close again. I let out a heavy breath, my tired eyes blinking back tears.

It was clear that Rosewood High was a touchy subject. If this was earlier I would've taken offence and argue back, but I was far too tired to delve into this tonight. I didn't respond instead I snuggled deep into my blanket and coaxed myself into sleep. I didn't cry this time. I wouldn't cry for him again

A/N: I know this chapter is very short and might seem quite rushed without much information, but I found I had already written this and it had been in my phone for months. I thought it be best to share it as it alludes to where the story may head in terms of Ezra's past and why he is at the ward. Honestly, not to be arrogant, but after rereading the three chapters I've written, I really love this story. So, I'm hoping to continue it, as well as my others hopefully. I really want to finish these stories even if no one ever reads them lol.

So, sorry for the millionth time and hopefully you enjoyed this short continuation.

-Tasha x