Norrisville (12 hours until war)

Randy didn't know why he volunteered to go first when Dipper offered them the supposed "teleporting berries," but he suspected it probably had to do with giving Jake and Danny some time to recover. Of course, he'd expected Norrisville to at least be a little bit shaken up from his disappearance, but to his surprise, not much had really changed. Sure he had on this ridiculous fake beard and this hipster hoodie, but fashion crimes were a small price to pay if it meant no one recognized the Norrisville Ninja. And even though the disguise wasn't his style, Mabel was right when said it'd help him blend in most effectively.

"C'mon Randy," he said to himself as he almost tripped over a loose stone, "focus man. Get in, warn the city folk, then get out. No big deal, right?" However, just as he'd finally convinced himself to relax, he heard a vicious roar rip through the streets of the city.

"Oh come on!"

Charging through the streets, the massive body of an obviously stanked person was crushing everything in its path. Cars crumpled under its massive, monstrous claws, and people were thrown aside as easily as flies of in a whirlpool. "Looks like it's…" Randy paused as he reached for the mask, right, no ninja o'clock, just gotta get home and…

So busy debating himself, Randy was oblivious to the giant hand about to make contact with his skull.

"Ninja shove!"

"Ninja wha?" Thrown off by the familiar voice, Randy was unprepared for the flying tackle that threw him out of the monster's range. Hitting the ground, he instinctively reached for his mask once again before remembering that technically the Ninja was supposed to be dead.

"This succcckkkks."

"Sorry about that," the new "ninja" said as they jumped off of him, "I'm still a little new at this."

"No not you…but… do I know you?" Looking over the ninja, Randy noticed violet eyes peeking out from the mask and a strand of purple hair that had avoided being locked down. "Theresa?"

"Uh. no random citizen! It is I, the Ninja! Now, stand back!"

Pulling out a sword, the temp-ninja lunged at the monster. Parrying the attack, the creature closed its hands around a small piece of metal hanging around its neck, protecting it with its gargantuan hands.

Bingo.

"Ther- I mean ninja," Randy shouted as he pointed to the dangling silver locket he'd seen earlier, "aim for the neck!"

"Got it, strangely insightful hobo!"

"I'm not a hobo!"

"Sure dude, whatever you say…" Watching carefully, she waited for the creature to drop its defense so that she could get a clear shot at the necklace. "Now!"

The ninja's sword sailed through the air, spinning like the blades of a ceiling fan on high. As the tip of the blade connected with the silver cover of the locket, a cloud of green smoke exited the monster's mouth as it shrank down to form of an older woman.

"Oh-ho that was sooo bruce, Theresa!"

Luckily, she was the only one still around to hear her name, but Randy still released it was an incredibly shoobtastic thing to say given the circumstances. However, instead of fleeing or denying it like he would have done, she turned and pointed her (incredibly sharp) sword directly at his chest.

"Ohhh I done goofed."

"How do you know who I am," she said, raising the tip of her blade so that it rested on his throat, "did Plasmius send you to scout for him?"

Panicking, he opted for the truth. "No, no, it's me, Randy! Randy Cunningham"

"Randy…" She lowered her blade, but just as Randy was about to breathe a sigh of relief, he felt his entire world flip upside-down. Right, right… still think I'm dead, don't know why I keep forgetting that.

"Nice try, creep," she said, twisting on his arm, "but Randy…Randy…" Unable to finish her thoughts through the tears, she instead proceeded to twist his arm even further.

"No! Ow! No! It's really me! Vlad's weird portal things didn't kill me, or Danny, or Jake, they just sent us into the future!" The silence between them became superheated with Theresa's anger. "...Oh that sounded so much dumber out loud."

Rolling Randy over so that he faced the sky, Theresa drove her sword through the side of his shirt. "Wrong answer. Try again."

"Okay look, I know it sounds crazy, but-but how would I know about your sixth grade birthday party and Dani and Hayley and and…" Taking in a deep breath, Randy caught her scent and momentarily forgot the situation he was in, "mmm, rainbows…"

"What?"

"I mean…"

Pulling the sword out of his shirt, Theresa helped Randy up and pulled the fake beard off of him. "Randy?"

"…Hi?"

Randy wasn't sure what he expected to happen then, but it sure as heck wasn't a slap across the face. "Oww," he said, cradling his face in his hand, "what the juice was that for!"

"Three days. Three days of chaos all over the city, and not a word from you. Not to me, not to Howard, not even…"

"R-randy?"

The voice was weak, but Randy would know it anywhere. He turned, looking where not even five minutes ago a monster stood. Looking her over, Randy noticed her long dark hair was messy and unkempt, her face sunken and haunted in a manner that resembled a Hollywood zombie. And the worst of it all, her eyes. Puffy and red as if she hadn't stopped crying since the last time Randy had seen her…five days ago.

"M-Mom?" He asked, almost afraid his eyes were playing tricks on him. "Is it really you?"

As he and Theresa rushed over to where his mother had appeared, Randy forsook his disguise and crouched down to hug her in the street. Looking her over, he noticed that the silver locket Theresa had cut off earlier was the very same one he'd given her last year with an old picture of the two inside.

"Mom! Are you okay, what happened to you?"

"Is it really you?" His mother asked as she ran her hand down his face, "I-I thought I'd lost you…I couldn't handle it. I thought you felt ignored with me working all the time but then I turn on the news and there you were. And then you were gone, and there was blood and all I could think was 'no, not you too…not my baby.'"

"I'm here now, I've got you."

"Please… please don't leave me again, the green smoke might come back." She shuttered. "I can't turn into that thing again."

Randy was crushed with how much his mother had to have been hurting in order for her misery to reach the Sorcerer. "How long were you like that?"

"I… don't know. I saw you on tv in Amity Park and then I was just…gone. The last thing I remember is green smoke coming up from the vents and a horrible, evil laugh all around me."

Hugging his mother again, Randy helped her up and pulled her away from the streets. Grinding his teeth, he made a mental note to himself; After Vlad goes down, the Sorcerer's so getting it next.

"Come on," he said as clouds began to gather in the sky, signaling an oncoming storm, "I have a feeling this is going to get a lot worse before it gets any better."