A/N: After a break of about a month, I'm back with another chapter of Jack Spicer's life. He's been nice enough to let me into his world of weirdness, and share it with you! Though, I think he just likes the attention. Anyways, lots of reviews to go through, and I've mentioned this in the summary, but the warning may change. I'm actually pretty sure it will, unless you people don't mind Jack swearing a bit more? He's getting into a comfort zone, so he doesn't mind it, and I could possibly lighten it and cut it out... tell me (and Jack) and let us know before the next chapter, and I'll see what we can do.

Okay Jack, your turn.

Why does it always take so long to get to me? Why can't we just start this off as... "The Jack Spicer Show"? Doesn't that make more sense? ...Right, right, the reviews. Of course. Let's see, what'd'we got here...

Jet Set Radio YoYo: You again? Gah, don't you have anything better to do than read about me and my awesome adventures? ...Answer, no. No you don't. Have a day with Raimundo, eh? Hey, as long as there's churros, am I right? Who doesn't like churros? Though, in all honesty... You know what, I'm not gonna answer this. You'll see soon enough!

Cupid'sAddiction: Why do people always feel the need to hug me!? Stop it! I don't like people touching me, I could have sworn I said that before! Even IF it's over the internet, or in your mind. You hear that? Stop mind-molesting me! And my mom has never cheated on my dad, what story are YOU reading? Are you sure you're getting this down right, Scribbling Peon?

Silent Shadow Kasai: PAIR ME UP!? What is WRONG with you? I don't even know how to answer this! I just get out of the game and you think I need a commitment. Thanks a lot! I'm not saying I'm not looking... And to all of you eyeballing this and thinking "Hey, maybe if I ask nicely, the nice writer drone will put me in a Jack Spicer's girlfriend"... forget it! This is how it happened, and YOU'RE not there! No matter how cute you may be. Besides, I already have someone I like. And I'm NOT saying who it is!

I'm done with this! I'm scared and I feel slightly violated. I need pineapple and a pudding-shake. DO A GOOGLE SEARCH!

A/N: ... He'll be back next time. I hope. Erm... Hopefully he'll do more reviews next time? I don't know, he has his own agenda, so! Without further ado and mind scarring, the Scribbling Peon (IE, Me) would like to thank all the reviewers, and Jack Spicer for participating, and say that no one here belongs to me.

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Chapter Two: The Return: Raimundo and Wuya

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"JackBots... begin trial C-352, checking for amount of heat conduction and sustenance from flamethrower to KB's." I had started calling them KB's when the testing began. I needed to see what they immediately reacted to, so that, if needed, I could keep them AWAY from whatever made them go off. Which might just be... oh, fire. And water. And wind... and earth.

I slid my goggles onto my eyes, the red swirls on them vanishing and the yellow turning everything into a lemonade ocean. "Fire." The flamethrower fired towards the blades, which chains were wrapped around my forearms. Dangerous? Possibly. Effective? Most definitely. I flung the blades out from me, twining them together and forming a giant figure eight in the air... one that, with the help of the flamethrower, became engulfed in fire. I struggled to keep steady ground, but the Kratos Blades were pulling me so hard towards the heat source, I couldn't stop myself from being dragged along the concrete floor of my lab.

It had been a minute. The test was over. When the flame died, the blades hurled themselves back towards me, and it took a little bit of effort to actually catch them safely. I still cut myself, though, in the palm of my hand, destroying another fingerless glove. Great. I unwrapped the Kratos Blades and headed out of the testing area of the lab. It sort of looks like a wind tunnel, a concrete hole in the ground with fans and some fire extinguishers lined up along the wall. It wasn't easy to get this whole thing set up, though. No pun intended.

Not that I was intentionally telling you that I didn't intend to make a pun because you're not smart enough to catch it. Did you catch that? I didn't think so.

A second later, I was in the main part of my lab, the Kratos Blades on a table behind me. I opened the medicine cabinet, strategically installed close to my door. I needed to look at myself before I left my lab, or else mom would worry. Bandages, alcohol, hydrogen peroxide, that stuff in the yellow tube... string and a needle. I hated this part. But doctors... doctors freaked me out. And mom's squeamish. I took it all over to the table. "JackBots, operation lights." I muttered. They obeyed, but stayed a reasonable distance away. They knew I'd freak out if they got too close. There was a sick sort of wet plop as my glove hit the bottom of the trash can, and the sink next to the table got a quick coating of blood, diluted with water... and then came the alcohol. Not so bad, so far... until the sting of the peroxide. I hate that stuff the most. I hissed as soon as it hit my skin, and it hissed back, as if challenging me. Not like I was going to do anything about it. It had to be done. Then, there was the matter of sewing myself up. A few quick stitches later, I was putting that yellow tube stuff on... then the bandages... and a new glove.

Good as... well, as it'd ever be. I tried not to flex it so that the stitches would stay. That would halt testing for a while, undoubtedly. And that was never a good thing, testing needed to remain constant, or else it would be hard to pick up where I left off.

I hit the fridge for a quick snack... some pudding, maybe some pineapple, and a juice box. I know, it seems sorta sissy, but I can't actually handle a lot of food. It upsets my stomach. The weird part is... I had to wonder what the Losers were doing.

"Young monks... today is free training. Work on a skill you feel you need to improve on." Master Fung's voice was loud and strong over the roaring of an old waterfall behind him. Maybe he and the waterfall were the same age. Anyways, the Xiaolin Warriors went off, training in different corners of the yard, jumping, kicking... weaponing. It was all very fight-fight. Though probably not nearly Fight Club enough.

I am Jack's product placement.

And people wonder why that's my favorite movie.

Though… We're not supposed to talk about it. (First rule of Fight Club… and the second. You know what, if you don't know what I'm talking about, turn off Twilight, smack yourself for even THINKING about watching it, and find and watch Fight Club.)

It was just starting to get dark there, and Raimundo was just about done practicing his Shoku Warrior strikes, or whatever, when he stopped suddenly. It was weird to watch, one moment, he was on his back, about to spring up and attack... and the next, his hands were on the ground, his feet were on the ground, and his back was arched... but he had stopped moving. Like someone pressed pause mid-spring. And his eyes were blank too, so that added to the creepy. A split second later, someone hit play, and he fell on his butt, his arms to his side and his eyes facing forward...

Oh, I get it. He was thinking. It must have been revolutionary, because he got up, without saying a word to his worried fellow dragons, and went to that weird nifty tower that they call the Shen-Gong-Wu vault. All of a sudden, the Silver Manta Ray was soaring through the sky, sans rhyme or reason to all except Raimundo.

Isn't that a weird thing?

He stopped in the middle of a large field, and looked around, making sure he was alone before shoving the shrunken down flier into his shirt. He was, apparently, a boy with a mission.

Which was when I finally noticed him, walking towards my house from my own back yard. Fan-freakin'-tastic. Another one wanted to talk to me. And this time, I wouldn't go to him. He could come to me if he wanted to talk that badly. I leaned back in my rolling desk chair, putting the pudding and spoon on the table behind me. I wouldn't turn him away, but I wouldn't invite him in, either. I just wanted to see what was going on. Who knows, maybe he had something interesting to say.

"Yo, Spicer. Can I have a pudding cup?" ...Well... that was kinda interesting. I stood up and looked at him curiously. Really? That's what he wanted, was pudding? Okay, this was turning into something TOO weird. Too strange.

"What?" Why did all of my conversations with these guys begin with 'what'? Probably because I have no idea what is going through their heads. They should think these things through more. He repeated what he wanted, and I, being a great, big, idiot, said "Sure. Why not." Hahaha. That's just great. Now they were eating with me. What's next, a tea party?

I am Jack's sarcasm.

Oh, no, I didn't mean that. PLEASE don't take that literally, I don't really want to have a tea party with these guys. Honest! "So, Spicer. I haven't seen you at the last few showdowns. Chase showed. Wuya showed. Katnappe showed. But you haven't. Are you really done with this whole thing now?"

Nice going, Sherlock. Now tell me it's elementary, and leave. "Yup. Done for good--" Oh yeah. My little friends. The Kratos Blades started nudging at my arm, which was next to them on the table. "Oh, yeah. Uhmm..." How the heck to I explain THOSE away?

"They seem to like you." Rai laughed. That was just super. The Blades had a man-crush on me. At that point, I couldn't help laughing out loud. The whole thing was just too funny, and I wasn't taking it in properly. "Hey, man, you alright?"

I just waved my hand and looked at the Blades. "To be honest, I don't think I'm done. You know?" He just smiled at me and nodded.

"I never thought you WERE done. Just a temporary setback. Like a vacation." I looked away from him to the Blades, and realized... this was a civilized conversation. Which was cool. "I honestly thought that you were kidding at first, and then I thought that you were suicidal, and then--"

"Suicidal!?" I yelped. REALLY? Me? That goth-emo to actually think about thinking about killing myself? That, my friends, was TRUE insanity. "And people tell me that I'm the insane one. I can't even think about cutting myself for medical research, much less KILL myself."

And then, he had the gall to look shocked. "Wait... so, you've never--"

"No. I can't. It makes me sick." I did some research one time when I was eleven, on the one thousand and one different ways a person can kill themselves, and each one made me physically and mentally ill. I stopped the minute I got to number 519: Free falling from a 20 story building. At night, they added, because anything else would "...just be silly." Their words, not mine. And after that, I spent four nights awake, thinking of what a bad idea it would be to kill myself. I came up with 350.5 reasons to NOT to kill myself. Most of them were repeats, but I still have the notebook with the reasons somewhere.

Not that I had a reason to kill myself in the first place. I was eleven. I was curious, right!? "So, then... why DID you quit?" He asked me. I shrugged my shoulders, and stood up, pacing my basement.

I thought back to the day I had made the decision. It seemed so long ago, when in reality, it was just... what, three weeks ago? Maybe two and a half? The monks decided to break yet another one of my creations... that was the day BEFORE I discovered I was the Metal Dragon. I thought that if I quit, it would be better than going through this EVERY day for the rest of my life. I was down in my then lab, and decided to build one more machine. The biggest, best one I ever built. One that, even if it was destroyed, it wasn't REALLY destroyed. It just came back together, like one of those Russian puppet things. I also decided to leave it up to fate. If they could break this one, and I couldn't win this, what was the point? If I couldn't win this, I wouldn't win any other ones. Me and fate would work together on this one. I would stop fighting it. And accept its decisions. It wasn't hard to do. Just let go of any and all feelings and emotions, and see what happened.

I am Jack's emotions. And I have been set free.

The Shen-Gong-Wu was one... only semi-worth fighting for. So it didn't seem suspicious at all when I came in, guns blazing, stand to fight.

I am Jack's emotions, and I watch from above now.

The big metal monster fought valiantly for its cause, and it looked like it was about to win.

I am Jack's emotions, soaring far above Jack, free and--

Until Omi's Shimo Staff took care of it, and sliced it, right where it couldn't go back to normal anymore.

I am Jack's emotions. Never mind that last part.

I thought that was it. And then all the emotions I so carefully set free like helium balloons came RIGHT back, and I was angry, and hurt. But then I remembered... oh yeah. I can just give it up.

You nice people reading this remember what happened after that, right?

Right.

Snap back to the present, then, and onto Rai's question. Why did I quit? "I was tired of losing. Of always being considered 'That loser'. You remember." I spoke quietly, but he winced as if my voice was a whip of some sort. "Anyways, it would have made things easier. You hunt Shen-Gong-Wu, I disappear into the depths of your memory."

He looked back up at me. "Would have?" That is what I said, wasn't it?

"Yeah. Would have. As in, past tense. Now? I'm not so sure." I ran my finger along the Kratos Blades' hilt, smiling. What can I say, they've grown on me. "These guys kinda change things." Raimundo walked over to where I was, from the other side of the table, and looked down at them. They glowed a little bit, kinda white in color, and vibrated. Like a cell phone would vibrate, they just shook.

He leaned over to touch them, but, as if they were magnetized (I wouldn't doubt if they WERE), they shot over and into my hands, the hilts basically burying themselves into my palms. "Uhh... do they do that often?" Actually, now that he mentioned it, they do that more often now than not.

Another thing trying to get me to accept my so-called destiny. "A lot more now than before. Before, I could put them down. Now? Now I can't leave a room without them. And not because I love them so gosh-darn much." He smiled at me. Seems that my sense of humor is coming back. Awesome.

"Join us, Jack."

Well, didn't that come right out of the blue.

"No."

And so did that.

"Wh...wait, what?"

"Exactly." He was about to speak, when I put a hand up, and it was after he jumped backwards a foot that I realized I was still holding the Blades. I cursed, and put them down, basically having to peel them from one hand. The other hand, they released from quickly. I suppose it was because of my cut on it. "Listen, I don't know where that came from, because I'm pretty sure that you don't REALLY want me to join you. So get this through your head. I'm not going to join you. I have no reason to, and I really don't really want to." For a moment, he was stunned silent. It was kinda creepy. And then he put down the pudding cup, walked to the door.

"The next Shen-Gong-Wu that activates... can you please be there?" He said please? That's adorable. I smiled, and then just... nodded.

I am Jack's suicidal pleased surprise.

He looked immensely relieved at that fact, though I wasn't exactly sure why. As I walked him to the door, we were both quiet. It's not like there was a whole lot to say. Well, except for... "I was supposed to be training... practicing. So I came here, so that I could practice humility. But... I'm not sure that happened. I'm not sure WHAT happened." He about faced to look me in the eyes, which were careless and blank. "Though I'm pretty sure one of us learned something." And before I knew it, he was gone. A push of wind and nothing more.

That was weird.

I stayed there a little longer before shutting the door and grabbing another snack from the upstairs kitchen fridge. Mom was out with Lindsey, trying to bond with her or something like that. Which was just great, I didn't really want to deal with either of them right now. Not to be rude or mean, I just didn't feel like talking to anyone else today. I smiled, I just had a thought: What if I went to bed, and didn't wake up until the Apocalypse? No Wu, no weirdness, no worries. But I would have to get started on it right away.

Back to the basement I go!

Until... I find out that there's been another infiltration. This one nastier than the first, second, third, and forth ones put TOGETHER.

"Wuya." Gone was the boy who was scared of her, that once upon a time. Besides, I didn't have any Wu she would POSSIBLY want. "Let me guess, you want to know my favorite flavor of ice cream before you ask me to join you?"

It's rocky road.

She grinned at me, in that way only an evil, psychotic, 1500 year old hag could. "Ice cream, no. Join me... maybe." I groaned. I wasn't really in the mood for this right now. "Well, I figured, with your new powers... and this lovely new Xiaolin weapon..." She stroked the Kratos Blades, which rattled at her touch and turned a putrid green color. Doing the only thing that made sense, I rushed forward to save them, but was hindered by the witch, who blocked my way and held me still. "Jack, you should know me better than that..." She purred into my ear. Ugh, could she be anymore disgusting?

I felt something slither up my arms, and knew it was the chains to the Kratos Blades. Maybe these things were growing on me. I pulled the chains, causing the Blades to fly off the table, hitting Wuya spectacularly on the hips, slashing her. I grinned. "I should, huh. And you should get to know the new me." Okay, that was kinda lame, but I was just getting started. I jumped back and away from her, holding my weapon at my defense. "Leave, witch. I don't want you here." Sure I was scared out of my pants... but I wasn't about to let the witch win.

Just like she wasn't about to let me win. Nothing is ever that easy, is it? She grabbed me by the throat and pulled out the Golden Tiger Claws, a Wu that I was hoping she didn't have. "You're not that lucky, Jack. Not by a long shot. Let's see just what you and your new little toys can do. GOLDEN TIGER CLAWS!"

Great. Just my luck.

When I felt my throat being released and I could finally breathe normally, I looked around. And I was in a forest. That was special, on account of I had a pollen allergy. I stood up and looked around, the blades still in my hands and their chains wrapped around my wrist. Wuya was nowhere to be seen, thank goodness. It was just me, all alone again.

In a big, scary, forest...

"WUYA!!" I couldn't help it, I screamed! Well, what part of big scary forest ISN'T frightening!?

From somewhere deep inside, I could hear her evil cackling, her menacing laughter, and that sandpaper-y voice. "Poor, poor Jacky. He can't even function outside of his comfort zone." I sighed before realizing she was kinda right. I wasn't good with anything except for my bots. I closed my eyes. I was pathetic. And to think, I was going to sleep until the apocalypse. My eyes clenched harder, squeezing out a few tears. No more. I couldn't be weak anymore. I had to accept who... or what I was. And that was going to start now. The Kratos Blades wrapped themselves tighter around my wrists and held tight, as if to say that they'd be with me all the way. Consistency. I liked that. I rushed through the forest, trying to find a way out, or Wuya, or something, before I realized something was wrong...

And then I saw it. The cliff. The cliff I was about to run right over like a half witted cartoon character. …Not ME, though! I meant… I meant Wile E. Coyote, okay, shut up! I skidded to a halt, falling flat on my back. "Well... that could have been a problem." I said quietly, and to no one in particular. Well, I thought it was to no one, until Wuya made herself known behind me.

"You mean... it WILL be a problem." I felt the color drain from my face (it's gray, and gray is a color, so… yeah, gray drain.), and I didn't have to turn around to know what she was planning. She was, after all, ultimate evil. For the most part anyway. Chase was still more evil than she was.

"You wouldn't." I could barely speak, but the voice that came from my throat was deep and menacing. She must have caught onto it, because her breathing grew a little more jagged. Well, that was pretty cool, I scared her enough to affect her breathing. Too bad it didn't affect her plans. And within a few seconds, she had stomped on the unsteady tip of the cliff, and I, not even fighting it, fell.

It was about a twenty story drop... twenty stories... that would definitely kill me. And didn't I say I didn't really want to die? I didn't want to die at all... My eyes started to water, but not because of how I was feeling. I was more or less feeling determined. I wasn't ready to die. I'm not ready to die.

The Kratos Blades squeezed my wrists a little bit, again reminding me that they were there, and they weren't about to leave me. It's always nice to have a friend to depend on, even if that friend is, more or less, an inanimate object. I held the hilts tightly, and executed my plan to the best of my ability, not caring if I got hurt. I turned to face the rocky wall of the cliff, digging into the hard granite. The rock chipped and some of the pieces hit me in the face, but I didn't care at the time. What mattered was making it back on top.

I slowed down, and eventually stopped falling. Good. Now, I just needed to climb back up... I looked below me. And then above me. Too far to fall, to high to climb up, and it was starting to get dark... I braced my boots on the rock wall, and gave a cautionary pull, before I had a brilliant idea! I really was a genius, I thought, as I pulled one of the Blades free of the rock. I swung it around behind me before tossing it up into the cliff, higher than I thought it would go. I pulled on it... it was tight... and, oddly enough, getting tighter--

I screamed! It was pulling on me! The only thing I could do was swing the other one higher than the first, in a ladder effect. It hit rock as well, just as the other one was wiggled free. It was a weird game of tag between the blades and the rock. And somehow, I kinda felt like Spiderman. Which was cool, 'cuz he's totally my favorite super hero. "Spicerman, Spicerman... doing everything a Spicer can..." I reached the top of the cliff with a final fling. "Look out, here comes Spicerman!" I looked around and saw Wuya watching me with bored eyes. "Um... Yeah. That... that wasn't anything." She glared at me and then, before I even knew what was going on, she was rushing at me. It took everything I had to jump to the left, instead of behind me, where the cliff ended. I looked back, and she was getting ready to charge me again.

Alright, I was SO done with being on the defensive. I swung out one of the blades with a heavy shout, which ended up wrapping around her waist. She slowed down long enough to look at the chains before I pulled her towards a tree and let her slam hard against it. Her head snapped back and banged against it. Which, I found, was quite shocking. "Interesting..." I watched her slump onto the ground, knocked out and completely vulnerable, the Golden Tiger Claws at her side. "VERY interesting..." There was nothing else I could do... I took them. I was about to leave her, but then I remembered... That wouldn't be very nice. Even though she was evil, I'd feel like a ginormous heel if I left her.

I am Jack's stupid decisions.

I held her against my back, luckily, she wasn't that heavy. "Mmm... ugh..." She was starting to wake up... suck. I raised up the Golden Tiger Claws and called out their name, thinking about the only place Wuya could go, where she would be able to get back to Chase's mountain in mostly one piece.

The bottom of Chase's mountain.

Clever, right?

I walked through the portal, and found myself landing on the mossy ground. It was dark here, so she must have taken me somewhere really far away. Well, as far as evil plots go, coming from someone who used to KNOW evil plots... that was pretty good. I put her down on the ground, and turned to leave, but she stopped me. "It's not fair... I knew something was wrong..." I leaned in closer, since she only seemed to be mumbling to herself. "My powers... they really ARE fading... Either that, or gone..." She looked up at me with those toxic colored eyes. "How else could I lose to YOU?" The way she emphasized you... it was like she was comparing me to a pile of steaming poop. And the poop was winning. I didn't have to stand for this. The Golden Tiger Claws emitted a bright light, my subconscious telling me it was time to go home, before I did something really stupid.

"Jack..." I looked back at her form, her elbows the only thing holding her up, as her back was probably in too much pain. "Why...?"

There're only a few things to say at a time like this. "I'm not like you anymore." And that was it. I took the Golden Tiger Claws, and teleported myself home.

But not before I heard her mumble something else. "Well... I guess it's true... you are finished." I didn't turn back around. It didn't matter anymore. I set both the Wu and my weapon on the table and shook my goggles free from my hair. What did she mean by that? I wasn't finished, not by a long shot. I was just getting started.

I landed back in my basement, not a hundred percent sure of what to do next. It was going to be a long night.

There were no remnants of my prior life... my Shen-Gong-Wu hunting phase, as it were, and I wasn't sure where to begin again. Then I saw it. The Shen-Gong-Wu Radar I made that one time, when I was done with ghost Wuya. It was kinda broken, since I had trashed it when I was having issues with my Dragon of Metal power stuff. It was weird, I thought, as I got to fixing my radar. What would happen if I ended up living with the Xiaolin side? I frowned, and put my screwdriver down. They'd probably end up making me clean stuff again. But then... I picked up a small welding torch and fired it up. Then again, I was staying there on charity, so that may have had something to do with it. Then again, they may just hate me...

I could have done that for hours, but I had more important things to do. I wiped my brow and looked at my radar. It was still really broken. I looked at my hands, which were slightly callous, and thought back to when I actually broke it. My powers were acting up again, and the radar, which was three feet away, floated up in the air, and fell in the worst place... the sink, which was full of water. I couldn't save it, since that was, in itself, so very far away... So naturally, it broke. The pieces are dry by now, but I could never make them fit in exactly the same way again. My powers sucked back then... Yeah, like it was that long ago. It was, what, a few weeks ago? They sucked then, but I haven't tried using them for myself yet.

Metal welding aside... what else could I do? I pushed forward a bit of energy, and concentrated hard on the radar, keeping my thoughts on metal, and moving metal, and bending metal, and--

There was a spark of light, and an odd BZZZT frying sound. The next thing I knew, there was smoke coming out of the radar. I blew on it, knowing that the action would-- yup. There it went. The whole thing was now on freakin' FIRE! I screamed, and ran over to a glass jar, which I used to cover up the radar and the fire coming out of it. Useful for two reasons: One, it would suffocate and therefore kill the fire, and two, it would keep the smoke alarm from going off, and thereby keep the sprinklers off.

And they say I'm an idiot... Freakin' hot jar... I'm going to have burns for a week...

When the radar stopped sizzling, I removed the glass and waved the smoke away. It didn't catch on fire again, thank goodness, and it was decently dry... but the parts were either burnt beyond repair, or warped beyond use. My eyes were starting to water, so I used the back of my arm to clean them off before looking at the clock real quick. Half past two. In the morning. It was going to be a LOOONG ass night. However, since the old determination came back (I am Jack's old determination, his fire, his drive. And I'm back, baby!), I figure... why not? What could it hurt, right?

Right!?

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A/N: See you later!