Chapter 4

Best Friends

Veronica R. Jackson

I've met Pavi Largo today. I couldn't believe that it's him, my love… We went to restaurant together, because I wanted to say couple things for him. I had to talk about our feelings and I couldn't find better chance than the one that I got today.

"Hi, it's nice to meet you again." I smiled when we were sitting in the restaurant.

"Oh, bella, it's nice to see you-a too." he lied. I could see he still was a bit angry.

"Sorry that I left you in street this morning… I had to do some things. I'm really sorry." I lied too. I had nothing to do, just wait about an hour for my mother.

"Everything is fine, bella, it is… I just can't believe how-a lucky I'm to see you again. How are you-a doing now? How is your health?" he asked me. "You're special for me."

"Thank you, but I'm sure that you say it for every lady that you see, am I right?" I asked, but I already knew the answer. It was too easy to guess, really. Everyone knows how amoral he is. But I still want to be with him.

"No, bella, I don't. You are special-a for me. You are." strange, but it was true. As I said, I can feel when someone is lying.

"Oh really? Ok then. I want to ask you two, but no, three things. Can I?" I asked, because I wanted to ask about it on first day we met, but wasn't sure that it's good idea.

"Ok, bella, ask me whatever you-a want to. I'm listening." I heard small doubt in his voice, but I guess it is ok. I am the one who betrayed him then.

"I don't want to sound very selfish, but could you please stop calling me bella? My name is Veronica and I would be really happy, if you could call me like that, or at last Vera. Next thing, please, take off your mask. Sorry, but I can't look at dead girls' face when I can die after couple weeks. Sorry, it's just too difficult for me. I won't mind if you will wear it in public, because I understand you. The last thing is very personal. I'm not sure if I can ask you such a thing… Ok… I want to be your friend, so… so if you're looking for girlfriend of lover, I'm not that kind of person. I'm sorry…" I wasn't sure what more should I say….

"Ok, bella… I mean Veronica… I can-a call you Vera or Veronica, that's ok… But why do you want-a to stare at my face? You always say that your-a life wasn't good, so why do you need to make it any worse? And if I love you, it doesn't mean-a that I want to fuck you." he tried make it up.

"Because I love you like a friend. I had many lovers in my live, and only one friend who is already dead. I need a friend more than lover or sex. Your face is beautiful for me. I think you're good-looking and I hate that fact that you have to hide behind that mask. I think that your own life wasn't better than mine. That is why I need friend. I want to share my secrets with someone. I think l can trust you, so I want to see you like my friend. You had many lovers too; stories and rumors are spreading around this town very fast. I have no idea how many of those stories are real, but I'm sure that you never had many friends too, please forgive me if I'm wrong." There, I finally said those things that I always wanted to say. I saw small teardrop, rolling down from his fake face. "Pavi, I'm sorry… I didn't mean to…" I felt bad.

"No, no… Everything-a is fine. It's just that… Can we go outside?" he seemed to be worried; he started shaking when we went out from the bar, so I hugged him.

"Vera… Veronica… I have to tell you-a something. I have to tell you why-a I am hiding. Ok… Long time ago I did a bad thing. I was young when I-a did it, but there shouldn't be any excuses… I raped a girl-a… She was young, about 19 years old, maybe even younger. I was-a 25 then. After all-a this I killed her… I haven't been-a in her funeral, and never visited her grave. I don't know-a where she is buried. ..Since then I have nightmares. My-a past is looking for me, so I'm trying to hide… I think it's the best thing I can do. I've been to-a many psychologists, but no one helped me… You're the first alive person-a that knows it. I haven't told it even to my family-a members. No matter what people are saying it's the first and the last thing I'm doing this. I'm hiding behind those faces, because it's the only thing I can do... You know, the only good thing about living in in family like mine is that everything that you do they can make fashion… Then all the crap about face changing started… " now he cried loudly. I wanted to cheer him up, but I couldn't. I just had no idea what should I say. At first I wanted to call him monster, freak… But it's wrong for me to judge him. I've never killed anyone, but I made enough shit, so I wasn't better than him. No, I wasn't, no matter what will you say.

"Yes, now I can see that your life was worse than mine. You won this dreadful competition…" I smiled. I think that made him feel a bit better. "You shouldn't think about your past now, life is just too short for things like this. Past is something that you should… Leave in the past." I smiled again. "My story isn't so dramatic, but it started when I was fifteen. My parents divorced and I started doing crazy things. I started using drugs… And when I stopped, after couple months I found out that I'm dying. It sucks to waste your life on drugs and when you find some powers in yourself to stop doing it, after some time you find out that you will dead after couple years." That wasn't my full story, but hey… I've tried.

He looked in my eyes, and kissed me on cheek. It was one of the best feelings in my live.

"You know, I think we both are losers, Pavi. We both done bad things in our past, and now we're trying to make everything look fine; we want to fix it… But we can't…" I said. "I'm so happy that I met you."

"Thank you, Veronica… Thank you for-a everything…" he just hugged me and held me inside… It felt so good…

Paviche Largo

I still can't believe it… I told someone about my past, about my problems…Now I have a friend... Two friends, if I could call that strange girl from bus stop my friend. Now Veronica knows about my past, but she still likes me… Luigi was wrong. I feel great… But why everyone that Largo men love has to die? My mom, Luigi's mom, Carmella's mom, Marni… The girl that Luigi liked is dead now too… Just like my Veronica…

I hate myself for everything that I've ever done for that girl. I really do. I remember it was late night; I was walking from bar, so drunk and wasted that I could barely move. But it's a bit funny how I could find energy to make that poor girl feel bad. I used her, so after it is no wonder that so terrible rumors are spreading about me. I was so scared after what I've done… She cried and screamed a lot, but later she just looked at me… it seemed that she could see through me… She was beautiful. It was dark outside, but I could still see that she had dark hair and green eyes. Just like my bella. She tried to say something, but I couldn't understand, I just whispered 'sorry'… I had to do something, so I looked around. There were piece of rope, so I decided to strangle her… She tried to fight, but I was too strong for her, after some time her face turned red, then purple… I was scared… Suddenly light turned in one in the houses who was in neighborhood. Woman slicked her head out of the window and shouted. She was about forty, but I wasn't sure.

'Hey, what are you doing here? What are you doing for that girl, you fucker? … Daughter… Is that you?' she said.

I dropped girl's lifeless body on ground and ran away… The woman ran away from home and cried… I think it was her daughter. I looked back and saw the pain in woman's face… I'm such a monster, I know… You don't have to say it. The woman sometimes comes to my worst nightmares and hounds me… She is the scariest ghost from my past…

My bella saw that I'm somewhere else in my dreams, so she asked

"You're thinking about that girl again, are you?"

"Yes… I am…" that was everything that I could say.

"Believe me, it's better to forget about moments like this one…" she wanted to say more, but I interrupted her.

"It's easy-a for you to say… You don't know how it feels…" bad idea… She got angry, I thought she will start screaming and making drama, but she just sighed.

"I do." she said calmly. "Long time ago I was raped by some asshole. I don't remember who was he, in fact I don't remember most of things that happened then... I had to visit different psychologists after it, and they blocked my memory or something..." she was so strong... I probably would kill myself if something like this would happen to me.

"I'm... I'm sorry... I never meant to say that... I didn't knew..." I'm such a loser...

"That's ok... I'm ok... Look, I want you to have this." she took off small silver ring from her finger and gave it to me. "I will be gone soon, but I want you to remember me."

I took the ring from her. It was too small for me, so I put it in my pocket. It was beautiful.

"Thank you." I said. "It's so beautiful."

"You're welcome, Pavi... You're welcome..." she got cough fit, like she had that night. She started bleeding from her mouth, and fell unconscious.

"Bella... Bella are you ok? Talk to me..." I was scared. My bella... The only one person that I trusted in this freaky world... The only person that understood me...

"I'm... Veronica..." she smiled.

I checked the pulse. There was none. I called ambulance, when I said who I am, they came here very was, but she was already gone. I remember how I felt when she left me in town. I knew that she will see her soon... Now it's different. Like the day when mommy died. I knew that she will never come back.

One of GENterns asked me do I want to keep her face. I wanted to kill that stupid bitch... How can someone be so insane... The only person that loved me is dead and she asks me do I want to make her one more empty doll, mask? I didn't wanted to get mask from her face, because she was part from my story... 'No' was the only thing I said. I just walked away from her dead body... I couldn't stand the things that happened. It was too soon for me. I wanted to have a friend for a longer time... My own friend...