If there was such a thing as nirvana, Sirius was experiencing it. His heart felt as though it was going to burst out of his chest. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he wondered if the gits in the Slytherin dungeons could here his pulse racing. A sickening mixture of unadulterated joy and gut retching terror settled in the pit of his stomach. The joy, spreading through his body and heart from the feeling he had longed for. Those untouched lips on his. To be the first to kiss him, the first to give Remus that rush, that dizzying feeling that overcomes his mind as Sirius' lips press against his.
Unwillingly to give up the moment, Sirius quickly wrapped his hand around the back of Remus' warm, soft neck. Pulling him closer, Sirius swiped his tongue across the rose petal lips, silently begging Remus to grant his tongue entry to his mouth.
Remus hadn't moved. He hadn't breathed. Remus Lupin was in complete and total shock.
Sure he knew Sirius was in love with him. But did he expect him to attack him outside the common room? Absolutely not. That's when it hit him. They were outside the common room. Anyone could come out and see them. He felt Sirius' hand against the back of his neck, pulling him closer. To his surprise, a shiver of lust shot down his spine as he felt Sirius desperately pulling him closer, unwilling to give him up. He quietly gasped against his mouth when a hot, slick tongue flicked against his lips. His gasp quickly turning into a soft moan as Sirius used this opportunity to slip his tongue past his teeth.
Sirius grasped Remus tighter as the sweet, almost chocolate-like taste of him flooded his mouth. Through the haze that filled his mind, a blissful thought occurred to him. Remus hadn't pushed him away. Of course, he wasn't kissing him back, but he wasn't pushing him away. At that moment of contemplation, Sirius suddenly realized his dizziness was getting more severe due to lack of oxygen.
With heavy reluctance, Sirius pulled away, leaving him both panting and wide eyed. Still recovering, Sirius stole a glance at Moony. He was staying into space, a look Sirius usually loved, but now, it terrified him. What is he thinking? Sirius wondered. This was one of the few times he couldn't read his face. It was completely blank; the only movement was his eyes. With every blink they scrunched up, growing more and more confused.
"Remus?" Sirius whispered. When he received no answer, his mind began beating him up. What the hell was I thinking? He moaned in internal agony. Because of one stupid decision, he just lost his best friend. Closing his eyes like he had done moments before, he shoved past Remus to the portrait hole.
Remus had no idea what was going on. One second, everything is fine. Then next, Sirius is having a mental breakdown, and the next…
Sirius kissed him. His first kiss. He shook his head as if he was trying to clear the fog that annoyingly clouded his mind. He couldn't think. Not right now, not after everything that happened in the last five minutes. He opened his mouth to ask Sirius what was going on when Sirius shoved past him, eyes closed in rather obvious pain.
That's something he always hated and loved about Sirius. How obvious his emotions were, his heart was just so obviously stitched to his sleeve. With just a glance, he was able to read Sirius' entire day. It was one of those things that made Remus wonder if he could love Sirius.
Remus watched Sirius push past him, and with one foot in the portrait hole, Remus made a decision. Deciding to take a page from the spontaneous book of Sirius, his hand darted out and grabbed Sirius' arm, pulling the other wizard against him.
Remus looked up into his dark, shocked eyes and traced his thumb across his lips.
"Don't go yet…" he whispered.