Chapter Four

Emma's sure she's slipping. She can feel it. She wishes Gold were awake so she could ask him if this is how it's supposed to feel. She wants to ask him what to expect. She wishes he were dead. She's not sure if that's her or the curse thinking that. She can't be sure of any of her thoughts anymore. She doesn't want this internal war to be showing on her face. She's good at hiding her emotions. She's put up walls her entire life, what's one more?

"So, where do we start?" David asked, "to find the sorcerer, I mean? No one's heard of him."

"Blue has," Regina pointed out. She tried to keep her wary eyes on Emma, without alerting anyone else with her concern. She was thankful that David seemed oblivious.

"Right, she has," Henry chimed in, remembering that day in the diner before the Chernabog came crashing into town.

"Kid, why don't you just grab the book and write 'and the sorcerer walked right into the sheriff's station'?" Emma asked, with a shit-eating grin on her face. She was met with a somber look from her son. "Hey, lighten up, I was kidding."

"How about we just find the fairy?" Regina cut in.

"Yeah. Okay. Awesome," Emma said, flatly.

As the group headed on foot to reach the fairies, Regina grabbed Emma's arm, pulling her back behind the others, so they could talk. If the Charmings noticed, they said nothing, as the group trudged on, as always.

"You okay?"

"Please tell me you're not going to be asking me that every five seconds," Emma groaned. "I don't need a babysitter."

"Yes, well, you said that before we left for New York, and I think we can both agree that you most certainly did."

Emma wanted to object, but decided against it. Regina had talked her down from a very dangerous ledge on that trip, and that wasn't something that Emma took lightly, nor would she forget it any time soon. But, that had been different. Then, Emma had just been a person, in a land without magic. Here, she was the Savior and the Dark One, and she was sure no one could just talk her down from anything. Not now.

She chose not to answer Regina, because she really wasn't sure if she was okay. Part of her wished the curse would just take over completely. She was sure that hell was better than being stuck here in purgatory, not knowing which side would win: darkness or light.

At least darkness was a destination. Right now, she was just standing on the platform, waiting to board the train. The ticket was bought, but she didn't have a map, and that was terrifying.

"Emma!" Regina said, in a harsh whisper, drawing her back into the present.

Emma blinked a couple times, and looked back at her. "What?"

"Where did you go just now?"

"Nowhere… Regina, I was just thinking."

"Okay," Regina sighed, reluctantly, "but just promise me you'll talk to me, okay? About whatever's going on. You're not alone in this."

"Look, I appreciate that you're trying to help. I know you think you owe me, but trust me, I am very much alone in this. It's the curse of the Dark One, not the Dark Posse. If I had a single fucking clue what was happening right now, I would tell you, but…"

"Emma, I might not know this curse, but you know I know darkness. And I know that look in your eyes."

"What look?"

"That emptiness. Darkness burns a hole into your heart, and it leaves you forever searching for something to fill it with," Regina tried to explain.

"I don't feel empty, I just feel… too full, actually. Like it's me and it's the darkness and I honestly don't know which is which anymore. Do you think it's supposed to happen this fast? How long until there's no me, and just darkness?"

"We won't let it come to that," Regina assured her.

"Don't make promises you can't keep." Emma didn't wait for Regina to respond before quickening her pace to walk beside Henry. She knew Regina wouldn't keep pressing for information with their son in earshot. They were nearly to the fairies, anyway, and Emma hoped that Blue really could offer some insight, or at least give them a place to start.

Blue was waiting for them on the street as they neared. Emma knew she shouldn't be surprised. That fairy always knew more than she was letting on.

"You took on the curse of the Dark One," Blue commented, as Emma approached. Emma fought the urge to call her Captain Obvious, since she was sure she wouldn't get the reference anyway.

"Yeah, I did," Emma said, with a shrug. She wasn't entirely sure being flippant was the right response, either. She didn't know what was the right respond to anything anymore. She wondered if this was what it was like when the curse took over Gold. She couldn't imagine him ever being anything but his cool, calm, calculating self, at all times. She wondered if she would become cool and calculating, too.

"Why?" Blue pressed. "To save her?"

Regina drew in a sharp breath as the fairy shot her a cold look. She opened her mouth to defend herself, but Emma cut in before she could.

"It doesn't matter. We need to find the sorcerer, Merlin. Where is he?"

"No one has seen him in centuries," Blue replied. "No one knows if he's even still alive."

Emma shook her head. "No, you have to give us something to go on, here. He's the only one who can stop this curse. He's the only person who is stronger than it."

"That may have been true, at one time, but Emma… you're going to have to find another way. There is no way you'll track him down before the curse takes over. Once it overtakes you, he wouldn't be able to destroy it without destroying you in the process."

"No!" Emma insisted, stepping closer to the fairy. Instinctively, Blue took a step back. "You're wrong. The Apprentice, he extracted the curse from Gold. Merlin could do the same to me, and destroy it."

Blue shook her head, trying her best to look sympathetic. "It's not the same. Gold was nearly dead. The curse was already preparing to make its move. You remember that vast potential for darkness you had? Your parents, they took the darkness out, but all they left was a gaping hole where it used to be. In you, this curse will be stronger than ever. You were the worst person it could have entered."

Emma stared at Blue, unable to respond.

David stepped up. "So what do we do?"

"I wish I knew," Blue said, keeping her eyes on Emma. "Emma, are you alright?"

Without warning, Emma shot her hands out, sparks of white magic mixed with deep yellow shot out, throwing the fairy to the ground.

For a moment, no one moved.

No one even breathed.

It felt like an eternity.

Then Snow turned and rushed to the fallen fairy, as David took a step back from Emma. Henry turned to look at Regina, who was watching Emma as she lifted her hand and looked at her palms, in more shock than anyone else there.

"Mom?" Henry asked, tentatively. Regina wasn't sure if he meant her or Emma, but Emma turned to look at him for one moment, and then waved her hands, poofing away in a cloud of yellow smoke.

"Oh, God," Regina said. Blue was sitting up now. She wasn't dead, at least. She wasn't going to be another black spot on Emma's heart; another checkpoint down the path towards darkness.

"Mom!" Henry cried. He didn't have to say anything else for her to know what he was saying.

"I'll find her," she vowed.

"Use the dagger, call her back!" Henry pleaded.

"I can't," Regina sighed. She knew as wise beyond his years as her son was, he was still a little too naïve to understand the repercussions that violating Emma's trust as well as her body autonomy would have. "David, you and Snow need to keep Henry for now, okay? I'll find Emma," she said, before poofing herself away, back to her vault.

She wasn't sure why she thought Emma would come here again, but she was still surprised when she found the vault empty. She couldn't believe the curse was taking over this quickly.

Regina stood in front of her mirror and used her magic to see where Emma was. The docks. She supposed she shouldn't be surprised. Hook was there, which also didn't surprise her, but rather annoyed her, as he was supposed to be at the library researching a way to help Emma.

She watched as Emma cried and he held her, and was about to wave the image away when she saw something peculiar happen. Emma leaned forward to kiss him, but after just a few moments, pushed him away. She said something else, and then poofed herself away again.

Instantly, she appeared in the vault in a cloud of yellow smoke.

Regina had been right about the place, just a little off about the timing.

Emma glanced at the mirror, seeing Hook standing there, looking confused. Regina quickly waved the image away.

"You were watching me?" Emma asked, cocking her head to the side.

"No, I was looking for you," Regina said. It wasn't entirely a lie, though she had absolutely watched longer than she needed to.

"Blue?"

"She's fine. That pixie needs to be knocked down a few notches anyway," Regina tried to joke, hoping to break the tension a little.

"She didn't do anything to deserve it. I don't even know what came over me. Suddenly, I just… I couldn't control myself."

Regina nodded, thinking back to the countless people she had killed for no reason. She wasn't even cursed, but she understood fully what losing control felt like.

"What just happened?" Regina asked, motioning towards the mirror – which was now just a mirror – but referring to whatever just happened between Emma and Hook.

"Belle once told me that she nearly broke Gold's curse with True Love's Kiss. I thought… maybe it was worth a try?" Emma shrugged. "He thinks I'm his happy ending. I thought maybe that would be enough."

"You don't think he's your happy ending?"

"I don't think I get a happy ending," Emma admitted.

"That seems too cruel a fate for the one who was destined to bring everyone else's happy endings back," Regina said, taking a step forward.

"Where's Henry?" Emma asked, trying to quickly redirect the conversation. She felt enough like herself right now to know she didn't want to let all her walls down at once. And this was a big one.

"With your parents."

"Good. He's safe with them. I can't be around him, not now… not until I know exactly what this is going to do to me. Can I…." Emma's voice trailed off, and she looked at Regina expectantly, hoping she would catch her drift.

"Stay with me?" Regina offered. Emma nodded. "You may. It's probably the best place for you now, since, besides the fairies, you and I are the only ones left with magic. And I highly doubt Blue's in the mood for a sleepover."

"You think I should send her a card? Does Hallmark make an 'I'm sorry I magicked your ass to the ground, bitch' card?" Emma smirked.

"I'm glad you still have your sense of humour, Swan, as terrible as it may be. Now, call your parents and tell them you're fine, and let's get to work. Regardless of how any of us feel about the Blue Fairy, we have to assume she's right in that we don't have much time."

"I broke my phone," Emma replied, with a mock pout.

"Of course you did," Regina rolled her eyes, before handing over her BlackBerry. She was glad to see that Emma was somewhat herself at this moment, more so than she had been all night.

She wondered if perhaps her kiss with Hook had done something. But she could still sense dark magic in Emma, and it was getting stronger, not weaker.

She was sure the curse was still fully intact, and still waxing and waning, until it took over completely.

She shuddered as she realized that this was likely just the calm before the storm.