Harry – Normal
James – Bold
Lily – Italic
Sirius – Underlined
I'm going to write one letter from Snape, and that will just be in normal, but I'll put an author's note before it
Dear Mum and Dad,
I'm in Gryffindor! So are Ron and a boy called Neville Longbottom. I think you're friends with his parents?
Everyone keeps staring at me. It is starting to get quite irritating. Every time I pass they say something about you two being famous aurors. How come I don't know anything about that?
Fred and George are in Gryffindor too (obviously!). It's only the first day, and they've already pulled a pretty amazing prank! They changed the colour of the Slytherin's robes from black to red and gold, and no one could figure out how to change them back! You should have seen their faces!
I had potions today. Professor Snape seems to hate me. He took away 2 points from Gryffindor because I couldn't remember everything from One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi! And he bulled everyone but Malfoy, who he seems to like. Needless to say, he's not my favourite professor…
Write to you soon
Love
Harry
Dear Harry
Its fantastic news that you got into Gryffindor! Although there was no way you couldn't be, what with having Lily and I as your parents. And yes, Frank and Alice Longbottom are great friends of ours. Lily has been meaning to ask them to dinner for ages…
Well, apart from Alice and Frank, it is very rare for a married couple to both be successful aurors. I suppose you're noticed more than Neville because your mother and I are slightly higher up in the department than they are. My advice would be to just ignore them. It shouldn't matter how rich or successful someone's parents are. True friends will stick by you through thick and thin, whether you're the richest man in Britain or live in a house that is hardly big enough to swing a kneazle.
Those twins! They'll be the next generation of marauders, you mark my words. Though, that said, they had better tone it down a bit. Their mother won't be happy if she gets a letter home about them in the first week, and you know what Molly is like when she's angry!
Snape did what? When I get my hands on him… Harry, it's your mother here. Your dad is currently on the floor in a full body-binder curse. I had to! Otherwise he would have gone to Hogwarts and done something stupid like punch Snape in the face. Or have gotten him arrested. Or possibly both.
Trust Severus to favour the most prejudiced pureblood in Hogwarts. Though he and Malfoy senior were friends in Hogwarts while your father and I was there.
And remember, under no circumstances will you take part in any of Fred and George's pranks. I know you are your father's son, but that is no excuse to get a detention in your first week!
Be good!
Love
Mum and Dad
P.S. Ignore your mother, if you get in a detention in your first week I will be incredibly proud.
P.P.S. Ignore your father. He's an idiot.
Dear Harry
I am shocked and insulted that you have not written to me yet! Come on, I'm your Godfather and favourite uncle, I have a right!
Anyway, how's school? Although Lily has banned me from giving you any prank ideas, I'm going to anyway. I never listened to your mother when she was a prefect at school, and I'm not going to start now. I have enclosed a box of all the prank materials you will require. DO NOT SHOW ANYONE OR THEY WILL BE CONFINSCATED! Except maybe Ron and the twins. And remind the twins that I say the charms corridor. They will know what I mean.
I hear Snape has been giving you a hard time? I have also enclosed a letter to him. When he gets angry, just tell him it's from me. If he try's to get you in trouble, remind him it is incredibly unfair, due to the fact you did not actually write the letter, you just delivered it.
Anyway, must dash, Lily has just discovered I replaced her shampoo with muggle hair dye and she just came out of the shower with green hair.
Love
Sirius
Dear Snivellous
You are a slimeball who needs to wash his hair. Also, you are a bully who gets kicks out of tormenting young boys. You have no friends and look like a bat. It is no wonder you have never had a girlfriend. Leave my godson alone, or I will be forced to take action and turn you into a slug while you sleep.
I hate you.
Sirius Black
P.S. Get a nose job. It should be illegal to be as ugly as you are.
Dear Mum and Dad
That makes sense. Although I'm pretty certain Neville is pretty glad the attention is on me instead of him. I'm not. I wish they would just leave me alone.
It's too late. They set off dung bombs in the charms corridor, and bewitched them so they would remain there for at least 24 hours. Unlucky for them, McGonagall caught them running away and sent a letter home to Mrs Weasley.
Snape is still a moody git. Ever since I gave him Sirius' letter he seemed to have backed off a bit with the verbal insults, but takes every opportunity to deduct points, even if it's something stupid. The other day he actually took 5 points away from Gryffindor because my hair was a little bit messier than usual! At least I wash mine…
Sorry about the detention, but it wasn't my fault! How was I supposed to know that if you leave a firework under someone's chair it will explode at send them flying in the air. In my defence, Malfoy deserved it, and the look on his face was more that worth the hundred lines McGonagall gave me!
Must dash, I've still got homework for Snape that I need to finish.
Love
Harry
Dear Harry
Don't worry, they'll soon get bored. Trust me; I know what it's like to have everyone talking about you. One time in fourth year your mother was a bit enthusiastic with her jinx's, and I had to walk around school for a week with bright pink hair, as no one could figure out how to change it back. I said I was sorry! Anyway, you turned all my robes yellow! Yeah, but you were smart enough to change them back. I had to ask Dumbledore to return my hair to its normal colour!
We know about the twins' prank. We were at Molly's for dinner when she got the letter from Dumbledore. Boy was she mad! She was planning on sending them a howler when we left, so I'm sure you (and the rest of the Great Hall) will hear just how angry she is!
That little git! He actually took away points from Gryffindor because your hair was messy? It's not your fault you inherited the Potter gene! And, if he is anything like he was in school, his hair looks like it hasn't been washed in years!
Lily went mental at Sirius when she found out he gave you the legendary "Marauders' Prank Pack". All I will say is this: use it well. You will do no such thing! Aww, come on Lily!He is only a first year, and by the time he knows enough magic to do any real magic, he won't have time to because he'll be in amongst exams! You and Sirius seemed to find a way! If my memory is correct, which is pretty likely, on the day before exams started, you two set off fireworks around the school and no one could figure out how to get rid of them, so they had to reschedule some of the exams! Oh yeah, forgot about that…
Anyway, your first flying lesson is next week! I bet you'll be brilliant, you've been flying since you were five! I was one of the best Chasers at Hogwarts, and your mother could have been a fantastic beater if she wasn't so obsessed with schoolwork! Schoolwork is important! Anyway, I didn't want to get stuck with Sirius during practise. Oi! I will have you know I am an amazing beater! I bet you were just scared I would show you up. Hello guys, writing a letter here! Stop stealing my quill! Anyway, back to the point. I know first years don't get to try out for Quitach team, but next year you're sure to be a seeker! You've got the right build for it, and you're pretty fast on your new broomstick!
Anyway, I had better go, emergency at work. Bet it's just Moody making sure we have 'CONSTANT VIGILANCE!'
Love
Mum and Dad
(A/N The next letter will be Snape's)
Dear Black
Go to hell.
A/N Okay, that's it for this chapter! I'm sooo sorry about how long it took me to update, but my internet has been broken for AGES and it kinda made it hard to update. Forgive me?