Four
"Hey," Michael says softly and hitches his chin in the direction of the front door to alert Maria about the third presence.
Maria looks towards the front door and finds Liz shielded in the shadows.
"Hi," Liz says quietly. "Can I talk to you?"
"Sure," Maria answers and turns to Michael to apologize. He smiles gently and shakes his head, before kissing her softly.
"I'll get some food."
Maria smiles gratefully. "Thank you."
He squeezes her hand before turning and Maria sighs in relief. It has only been an hour since Tess left the planet in the granolith and Michael decided to stay for her, but already Maria knows that things are definitely looking up for her and Spaceboy.
Her smile falls before she turns to face Liz, because she knows that Liz will most definitely throw reality in her face. Liz has been good at that recently. Lately Maria has been wondering if they can ever go back to how things were when they used to be able to have fun together. When they were friends.
"What's up?"
She takes out the key to Michael's apartment from her bag and lets Liz inside.
"I need your advice," Liz says grimly.
Maria sighs and closes the door behind them. Liz's stoic posture tells her that this conversation is very likely to turn ugly, just like most of their recent conversations.
"Sure," Maria says shortly. "But if you're here to tell me to stay away from Michael-"
Liz spins on her heels and surprises Maria with an expression of regret. "No, Maria. How can you think that? I wouldn't want to destroy anything between you and Michael."
Maria looks at her closely. Ten days earlier, Liz had started a war with Max and everyone in the Czechoslovakian club had been pulled along, separated into camps against their will. If Michael hadn't grown up so much the last couple of months, Liz's arguing with Max easily could've caused a rift even between Maria and Michael. Fortunately it didn't, but Maria isn't prepared to relax just yet.
"I'm sorry if I ever made you doubt that," Liz says.
Maria shrugs and sinks down in the couch. "I don't know what to expect from you any longer, Liz. You are not the person I used to know anymore."
Liz sits down opposite Maria and nods. "You're right."
Maria's eyebrows rise in silent surprise, but she remains quiet.
"A lot of things have happened recently that I'm not proud of."
Maria nods.
"Brushing you off is one of them."
"Are you apologizing?"
"I'm sorry, Maria."
"Wow," Maria says unenthusiastically. "Are you ready to let this go?"
Liz presses her lips together and Maria can see the shield go up again. "Tess killed Alex, Maria. I needed to get the truth out."
"Do you feel more relieved now?" Maria asks.
"I'm not the bad guy here, Maria. Tess is."
Maria's shrug is uncommitted, detached. "Whatever you say."
Liz sighs and leans back in the armchair. "Okay… I…"
To Maria's surprise Liz's stone wall crumbles and she bursts into tears. Maria stares at her, her actions paralyzed.
"It's my fault," Liz sobs, "It's all my fault."
Even though Maria is rejoicing about the fact that Liz is finally letting herself cry, it hurts to hear the heart-wrenching anguish in those tears. She stands and puts a hand on Liz's shoulder. She never thought she wouldn't know how to comfort her best friend, but everyone has surprised her these last couple of months.
She finds herself wondering if she should give Liz a hug or remain standing, hand on Liz's shoulder like a stranger.
"It's not your fault. Well, at least not all of it. We all messed up."
Liz shakes her head, tears dripping on her jeans. "I started it. If I hadn't listened to Future Max. If I hadn't broken Max's heart-"
"Liz, you can't beat yourself up about that. It's in the past. You thought that Max knew what he was doing. I mean, he was older and he told you that we would all die otherwise."
"Instead I killed Alex…"
Maria's heart shudders at the mention of the death of their friend and she scoots down next to Liz, pushing herself into the small space between the arm rest and Liz's thigh and pulls Liz's head against her chest. There's relief in her tears as Liz throws her arms around Maria and hugs her tightly.
"You didn't kill Alex," Maria whispers. "Tess did."
She feels Liz shake her head against her collarbone. "No, if I hadn't changed the future, Alex would still be alive."
"Yes, but-"
"Max and I would be together. We would be happy."
"You don't-"
"Isabel wouldn't hate her brother and you wouldn't hate me-"
Maria pushes Liz away so that she can face her. "Hey! Don't say that! I don't hate you. Don't turn into a martyr on me, Liz Parker."
Liz wipes her tear-drenched face with the back of her hand, new tears flowing over her palm in the progress. "I'm sorry."
"You wanna know what I think?"
Liz nods, sniveling.
"Max had no right to come back from the future and ask you to do that."
"He didn't have a choice, he-"
"No, just let me continue. In the beginning, I was jealous of what you and Max had. I mean, you had this look-deep-into-my-eyes kind of love and I got… Michael."
Liz smiles weakly and Maria laughs lightly before sobering. "Max loved you so much, Lizzie. I don't know what happened in the future, but the Max that risked his secret for you that day of the shooting would never ask you to give up on you two. He would find another way. If you ask me, he blackmailed you into doing it-"
"No, Maria. You should've seen-"
"Sure, maybe I would understand better if I had been there when he visited. But maybe I would've been able to see through it. Did it ever cross your mind that if he came from the future, from a life of knowing you intimately, that he would know exactly what to say to make you do whatever he told you to do?"
Liz swallows and whispers, "It wasn't like that."
But Maria sees the doubt in her red-brimmed eyes. Her voice softens, "You did what he asked you to, because you loved him. You still do. He used your love against you and you couldn't say no."
"If that's the case, I should've worked harder. I should've resisted him. It all started the night he saw me in bed with Kyle."
Maria nods. She can't deny that. That night had been the downfall for the whole group. It had changed the relationship between Liz and Max into something unrecognizable and that relationship had proven to be the cornerstone of the well-being of the group.
"I broke his heart, pushed him straight into Tess' arms-"
"Where she manipulated him and changed him," Maria interrupted.
Liz laughs in doubt. "No, I think that was all me. Tess didn't even have to do anything after my betrayal. He was all hers."
"Sorry, babe. I won't let you take credit for this one. Okay, I admit. Max was vulnerable to Tess after the whole Kyle incidence, but Tess did enough on her own."
"It doesn't change the fact that I am responsible for Alex's death. If I hadn't pushed Max towards Tess, Tess would've left and Alex wouldn't have gotten in the middle."
"We don't know that," Maria whispers. "Did Future Max ever mention Alex? Maybe Tess used him in the other timeline as well."
Liz shakes her head. "He said that Alex came to our wedding, but he didn't tell me anything about what happened after that." She frowns, turning introspective. "He would've told me. He would've warned me."
"Not if he thought that changing the future would stop the need for Tess to use Alex."
Liz laughs bitterly. "Well, I did the wrong thing then. I trusted Max and whatever you say, that I should've done, I can't change it. I can't take it back, Maria. I can't…" she sobs, "I can't bring Alex back."
Maria sighs, tears wetting her own cheeks. "Why are we doing this, Liz? We used to have fun. What happened?"
"Aliens happened," Liz answers simply.
"What happened to you, Liz? You are so cold, so bitter."
Liz averts her eyes and shrugs. "I tried my best, Maria. I tried to make things right. If I could only make justice out of Alex's death, maybe that would make me feel less guilty."
"Did it work?"
Liz sobs. "No."
"We should be worrying about what clothes to wear, normal guy problems, popularity and all those other normal high school things. We shouldn't have to worry about aliens attacking, about people arriving from the future or our friends getting killed."
"Yeah…" Liz whispers.
"We're just kids, Liz. Just kids. We don't know how to do this. We don't know the right thing to do. Hell, not even an adult would know how to deal with mind rapes and how to kill aliens in skin husks."
"That's kinda why I'm here."
Maria can't help but get afraid from her words. "Yeah?"
Liz wipes her swollen eyes. "I came to say goodbye."
It feels as if a cold hand squeezes her heart and Maria whispers brokenly, "You're leaving?"
"Kinda…"
Maria's heart is pounding loudly in her ears. "What do you mean?"
"I can't do this anymore, Maria. I can't live with these feelings anymore. It feels like my heart is dead. It's either this or… I don't know. I don't know what I will do otherwise. I've let everyone down."
"No, Liz. What are you talking about? You're not…" Maria covers her mouth to stop her sobs of fear from escaping, "You're not thinking about killing yourself, are you?"
Liz tiredly shakes her head. "No… No."
Maria relaxes. "Thank God. Then what are you talking about?"
"I've talked to Max," Liz says. "I asked him to block my memories."
"What?" Maria asks confused. "You mean… Like a mind warp?"
Liz nods. "Kinda like that."
"What does this all mean?"
"I've asked him to remove all my memories of everything alien-related. That would mean that I wouldn't know anything but normal… I would go back to how I was before the shooting."
Maria stares at her. "Are you serious?"
Liz nods. "I've thought about this a lot."
"But we can work this out. Together. Liz, don't do this. Tess is gone now. We can heal."
Liz shakes her head. "Nothing will be the same again."
"But that's the thing about growing, Liz. You might want to go back to the person you once were but sometimes growing is a good thing."
"I'm being selfish…"
Maria shakes her head. "No, you're not."
"I know I'm taking the easy way out and I'm leaving all of you behind, but I don't know what else to do. I don't know how to deal with everything. I can't sleep anymore because Alex's death is haunting me. All the bad things Max and I have said to each other the last couple of days are running like a mantra in my head."
"Don't you think the rest of us have the same thing? We're hurting too, Liz. But we're dealing. You can deal too."
"You think I'm horrible…"
Maria sighs. "No, Liz." She smiles weakly. "Actually, after everything we've been put through to know those aliens why shouldn't we for once take advantage of their powers? The rest of the world might have to deal with their problems but you have access to the possibility of forgetting them. I guess… You're no worse than an alcoholic or a druggie."
"Maria," Liz objects.
Maria shakes her head. "Joking…"
"No, you're right."
They fall silent, each buried in their own thoughts.
"Are you sure about this?" Maria asks a couple of minutes later.
Liz nods. "Yes."
"Then I'm going with you."
Liz stares at her, eyes wide. "No, Maria. No."
"What? You are allowed to forget, but I'm not?"
"That's not it. I saw you with Michael. You have something really good going on with him. Don't do this."
"Who knows how long that's gonna last for anyway?" Maria tries to joke.
"Maria…"
Maria averts her eyes. "Yeah, I know. It's just… I can't leave, Liz."
"Yes, you can. This is my choice. My life is screwed up and I don't see it getting any better if I don't do this. Your life is just getting better and better. Don't destroy that."
Maria laughs incredulously. "Have you thought about all the people around you, Liz? Have you thought about how this will affect everyone that cares about you? For your plan to work, all of those people would have to lie to you."
Liz bites her bottom lip. "I know."
"Name a single time that I've been able to lie to you without you seeing straight through me," Maria says.
"It's different now," Liz protests. "We've become experts at lying. I will become naïve again and I won't be able to call you on your lie."
"Okay, forget that. What makes you think that I would want to lie to you to start with? I would have to lie to you every day. I couldn't do that."
Liz closes her eyes and falls back against the head support. "This is really gonna make them hate me."
"They'll get over it," Maria says. "So Max is going to do this, huh?"
"He hasn't agreed to it yet, but I wanted to be prepared just in case."
"Well, if you go, I'll go."
Liz sighs, "Maria."
Imitating her, Maria says, "Liz."
"I can't do this to you. I can't. I won't allow it."
"It's my life, Liz. I'm going with you."
"Just think about what you're leaving behind."
"Only if you think about what you are leaving behind," Maria counters.
"I'm sorry for not being there for you when Alex died," Liz says.
Maria smiles. "It's okay."
"How can you be so selfless? I've treated you like shit and still you're prepared to give everything up to follow me."
"I know who you really are, Liz Parker. I know that you've been in a dark place and honestly, I feel a bit bad about lashing out at you as well. You were dealing with it your way and I couldn't be there for you."
Liz looks like she's about to protest but then changes her mind. "How did I ever deserve you?"
"You didn't," Maria answers simply. "But I have great expectations of the future. You don't have to do this, Liz. I've got your back if you decide not to."
"I've made my decision, Maria. I'm gonna do this."
Mara looks at her closely. She used to be able to read her friend, but now she isn't so sure. Her friend seems very determined but will she really go through with it?
A knock on the door interrupts her line of thinking. She smiles in apology to Liz and jumps up to open the door to be faced with Michael.
"Is the coast clear?" he asks gently, looking past Maria at Liz, who is standing up and rubbing her face.
"Uhm," Maria says. "We just need a couple of more-"
Liz steps up next to Maria and squeezes her arm. "It's okay. I should get going."
Maria turns to Liz. "Just think of what I've said."
Liz nods and pulls Maria in a hug. "I love you."
"Love you too."
"If you don't want to, just let Max know."
Maria grows cold and her hopes of having changed Liz's mind start to weaken.
"Okay," Maria whispers and lets go off Liz.
"Bye Michael," Liz smiles softly at Michael.
"Uh, bye Liz," Michael says and closes the door behind Liz. "What was that all about?"
In front of his eyes, Maria's resolve crumbles.
Michael quickly embraces her. "What happened?"
"Just hold me," Maria sobs. "Don't let me go."
"I won't," Michael says. "I never will."
This makes Maria cry even harder. Because she is almost certain that Liz will go through with her plan and Maria will have to leave Michael.
TBC...