"…if not for my brother, I never would have made it out of there…"

Andra looked sadly into Calem's face as they sat on a log around a fire in the middle of her camp, examining him as if this pain was fresh. "I'm so sorry…"
"Don't be," he forced a smile, "It's been a while and pity doesn't change the past."

Andra's eyes swiveled to the ground, "I should have been there for you. If I had just… known… I could have asked for help to be sent from the Inquisition."

"Andra…" Calem's soft voice beckoned her to look at him, "there's nothing you could have done, don't make a burden out of something that was out of your control. My clan… We were doomed to experience this. We lived so close to a Shemlen city and they never expressed any fondness for elves. When Ghatas started that fight over trading prices, it was merely the last drop of water that ends up sinking a ship. It had been a long time coming. We prepared for it as best we could, but… our Keeper and First are gone, so are most of our elders and some of the children. It's only a handful of us left and most of us have taken on the little ones that no longer have parents."

"Fenedhis…"

Calem laughed, "This could very likely be the Dread Wolf's handiwork. He does, after all, hate all mortals."

"Maybe he's just resentful because he locked the rest of the gods up and now he's lonely?" Andra stared into the fire. It had been a while since a thought of her gods had crossed her mind, but she always felt a strange sadness for Fen'harel-even though all of the stories about him went into the depth of his hatred for the Elvhen people.

"It's nothing less than he deserves." Calem added.

Andra looked up into the glittering gold of Calem's eyes then, "Where is your clan now?" she asked, wanting to move away from her personal opinions.

"They're making their way to join with another clan that was nearby. It took quite while to convince them to take us in, since we were strangers to them, but they agreed in the end. Mainly because they understood of the Shem's cruelty and expressed that they wouldn't turn their backs on fellow Dalish in need."

"I'm glad that the rest of your clan is going to be okay." Andra smiled.

There was then, a moment of silence as the two stared into the fire and basked in its warmth while the sun set behind them. Enjoying just the proximity of each other after so long apart.

When they had returned to camp, Andra had helped Calem get his own tent set up-which he had brought with him-and also got him a few new supplies. Such as a new blanket, since his had become torn from all his days on the road. Afterwards, Calem suggested that the two of them talk so they could truly catch up, and thus they agreed on sitting around the fire, where Andra had explained that it would be a good place to wait for dinner to be served.

"Well, we've talked a lot about me," Calem started, "What about you? What was being part of the Inquisition like?"

Andra let out a short, soft laugh, "That's quite the loaded question." Then a brief silence followed as she thought about where she could start. So much had happened in the year she had been away: danger and adventure, deceit and loyalty, she had even made new friends, and also enemies… there was no way to really sum it all up. "I guess… it was exciting." She began, "I remember a time, back in Haven before Corypheus destroyed it, that Varric introduced me to a card game called Wicked Grace-"

"Varric?" Calem cut in.

"Ah, a dwarf; a great friend of mine." Andra explained with a smile, twiddling her thumbs in her lap. Then she continued, "We were playing with a few of the recruits and Varric had insisted we all place bets…" she laughed at the memory, "…by the end of the night, Varric had won all of their pay for the week, even mine, and we all felt ridiculously shamed that we hadn't seen it coming. In the heat of the moment, you always think that next time will be the time you win. But we were all inexperienced at the game and that was just wishful thinking."

Calem raised an eyebrow, "That doesn't sound very fun."

"Oh it was!" Andra interjected, "It was probably the most fun I had while I was there." Then her smile grew softer, fonder, "After a bit of gloating, Varric ended up giving all of us our money back. He said that it was good to remember every now and then that we were still people, not just mindless shells working on closing the Breach, but he didn't want to cheat us out of any pleasures later. Like if we wanted a drink or desserts, or even… if someone wanted the chance to experience an intimate night one more time…" Andra writhed under the awkwardness of the topic, "I remember one kid telling me, after I had asked why he would want to spend his money on a prostitute, that he just wanted to know what it felt like to be close to someone one last time. That if the world were to end tomorrow, he wanted to experience love-even fake love-and die blissfully in that lie rather than die sad thinking about the future." She trailed off, feeling her heart fill with sorrow.

"I take it he didn't make it?" Calem asked. Andra's eyes answered as they fell away to the ground and Calem's immediate response was to wonder what her relationship was with this guy.

"He was killed by bandits on a scouting mission. I didn't know him that well… but I remember him because his words made a strange sort of sense that night."

"It sounds like you made some good friends while you were there."

"I did!" The smile returned, brighter than the sunset, " I met a Qunari named Iron Bull, and his little company of Chargers; a Grey Warden named Blackwall; I even got really close with the Inquisition's Spymaster." Andra couldn't help but laugh at the last part, when she had first left her clan, never had she thought that in a million years would she have become friends with Leliana. The Lady Nightingale always seemed so intense, so hard, and super intimidating. But Andra had learned of her softer side when she had walked in on Leliana and Josephine giggling about the latest fashion in Orlais. The rest was history. "Oh! And I met this strange elf named Sera but she always brightened up my day…" She let herself trail off, remembering another elf she thought she had been close to.

"Sounds like a real party." Calem chuckled, leaning forward so his elbows rested on his knees.

"It wasn't… But if we didn't hang on to the few good moments that we had, then all that was left was the bad ones…"

"Ir abelas…" Calem sat up straight, understanding Andra's pain. Nothing else was said, but he did wrap an arm around the blonde girl, in a sort of side hug, to comfort her.

And it did. She pressed herself comfortably into his chest, laying her head against his shoulder, and just listened to the crackling of the fire; watching as the flames tried to lick their way to the sky.

It was this moment in particular that Andra realized she could truly relax. The Breach was sealed and also all the rifts, Corypheus was dead, the Red Lyrium had been destroyed and so too anyone under its influence, Leliana was the new Divine, and Solas… was gone. No longer did Andra worry about saying something regarding the Dalish that would spin off into an argument. All the stress in her life was simply… gone. Replaced by a serene peacefulness.

"Here you two are." A friendly face said, one of the elves that helped the cook prepare and hand out meals.

A little embarrassed at being caught in such a close embrace, Andra and Calem gave their thanks as they untangled themselves from each other to grab their plates, "Ma sarannas."

It wasn't until Calem took his first bite that Andra noticed something out of the ordinary. And when he noticed that she was staring at him, he gave her a quizzical look while chewing his food. Andra couldn't help but smile at the sight but she eventually reached out and grabbed his hand, pulling his sleeve back to expose the bracelet on his arm.

"Ara'lin'hasal." She said softly, rubbing her thumb over the braid.

"I've worn it practically every day since we made them." Calem said once he had swallowed his food.

Andra smiled widely at the memory, "We were so young, just a couple of kids who thought they'd be together forever."

"That can still be." Calem stared deeply into the silver of Andra's eyes, even reaching out a hand to brush her platinum blonde hair behind her ear.

Andra's heart thrummed in her chest with his touch as heat rose to her cheeks, "So much has happened since then. We're both different people now."

"And that changes the feelings we used to have for each other?"

"For me, yes." Andra said shyly. "I don't know where my heart is right now…"

Calem ran a hand through his chocolate hair and looked down at his plate of food, barely touched, "Is it because of that person you were talking about with Keeper Sathari earlier? The one you mistook me for?"

Andra flinched slightly, "He… he's gone now. I doubt I'll see him again. But we were close, even if it seemed like we hated each other. Honestly, the only thing we never really seemed to agree on was the Dalish." Andra 's face fell, staring at her own plate of food as Calem turned to look at her, "I love my clan, I know the Dalish try to reclaim the history we lost. We're not bad people. But he… would always say that the Dalish were children, that we don't really care about the Ancient Elves or everything that we lost. And he always seemed to have this strange fascination with the Dread Wolf."

Calem's eyes seemed to burn with irritation, "Shemlen are so ignorant."

"He's an elf." Andra corrected. "Not one of our people, or of a city, but rather…" she searched herself for the right word, "Shielan"

"How can an elf hate his own people so much?"

"He doesn't, really. He's just so… passionate about what the elves used to be; before the fall of Arlathan."

"No one knows what happened," Calem replied a bit brashly, "We have no records, barely any history to give us any insight. It's unlikely that he knows more than any of us do."

Andra tilted her head with a look that said 'I'm not so sure', "He's also a mage, and he's spent most of his life wandering the Fade and witnessing history from an unbiased perspective; listening to spirits tell the truth of age old tales." She stopped there, feeling herself fill with the emotion of wonderment.

But Calem merely stared at her like she was crazy, "He talks to spirits? Or rather demons?"

"It's more complicated than that-"

"I don't want to upset you, Andra, but how do you know he's not being influenced by these spirits? That they're not actually demons in disguise, pretending to be benevolent and he's merely opening himself up to possession without knowing it?"

"He wouldn't do that-"

"How can you truly know? It seems like he's so full of resentment because he runs away to the Fade instead of getting to know people in the real world. He feels more attached to these… beings… that no one even understands than he does with physical people. How can you care about someone like that? How can he care about you?"

Andra's eyes stung with tears that threatened to roll down her face, but she held them back. Painfully, she recognized the truth in Calem's words, but she didn't want to admit it. She didn't want to admit that all the wonderful times she had actually spent with Solas had just been a sham. That they were real for her but not for him. She didn't want to accept that he didn't-even in the slightest-care about her.

After a moment of silence, Calem softened and reached out to place a hand under Andra's chin to make her look at him, "Ir abelas, Arasha. But… you said he was gone, and you're leaving the Inquisition behind to live with your clan again. Is that not grounds enough for you to let go and live a happy future? Don't hold onto pain that you can't fix, Andra. It won't do anything for you except make you feel miserable."

Andra dropped her plate on her lap then before hugging Calem tightly. She wasn't ready to let go quite yet, but she appreciated his words. And maybe one day, she would be able to let go and live as a normal Dalish woman.

.

.

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ELVHEN USED:

Shemlen: Literally-"quick children", but it's used mainly as an insult to anyone that isn't Dalish.
Fenedhis: Literally-"Wolf dick", but it's used as a universal curse. Such as, when you stub your toe and you cry out "fuck!/shit!" or when something crazy happens and you're just like "shit...". The term is also in relation to Fen'harel (the Dread Wolf), so it can be akin to saying "goddammit" as well, sort of like using a deity's name in vain.
Ir abelas: "I'm sorry"
Arasha: "My happiness", an endearment.
Ma sarannas: "Thank you"/"My thanks"
Ara'lin'hasal: "Lover's knot". There are always two halves to this bracelet, usually shared between two people that deeply care for each other-as the name implies.
Shielan: "Wanderer"/"Traveler"/"One who roams"