A Thousand Years

Heart beats fast
Colors and promises
How to be brave
How can I love when I'm afraid
To fall

But watching you stand alone
All of my doubt
Suddenly goes away somehow

One step closer

"Oh..." The soft exclamation came unexpectedly from Obi-Wan's lips - and it was as unintentional as his superfluous use of the Force.

Little Mira, who had been demonstrating her new ability to toddle on her own, giggled happily as Obi-Wan steadied her on her feet from across the room. The soft blue jumper she wore made it easy for her to move freely but still she wobbled with each little step, her short legs shaky and her arms waving in the air for balance. She was not far away, and the carpet was plush, but he had used the Force to keep her from falling without thinking. A glance from Obi-Wan to her mother, however, confirmed Aala was not as amused.

"Ben," she admonished, though she was fighting a grin. "You have to let her fall."

"I didn't mean to." Only just arrived and kneeling on the floor, he held out his arms toward Miracle as she began taking baby steps again in his direction. "I couldn't help myself," he explained, attempting to use his best 'Jedi Master' voice. "Is it not my job to protect her?"

Aala smiled, sitting down beside him on the floor. "And to help her learn. You have to let her take the little falls, so she can learn to weather the bigger ones."

He gave a mock-frown in her direction, but only for a moment, unwilling to divert his attention from his daughter. "When did you become so wise?" he teased.

Aala laughed. "It comes with being a mommy, I suppose."

"You're a natural," he smiled.

Aala gave another light laugh and kissed him on the cheek. "Thank you, darling."

Miracle was almost to him then, but he resisted the urge to reach out and scoop her into his arms. Just a few more steps...

And at that, her little legs wobbled and she fell back, landing on her bottom with a soft thwump. Obi-Wan winced, but Mira giggled just as happily as she had when he had used the Force to steady her and Aala laughed. "Don't worry, she has plenty of padding, and not far to fall."

It was true, he knew, but still... perhaps he'd get used to it.

His little girl, however, was entirely unfazed and as he smiled at her, she rocked forward and crawled the short distance to him. Picking her up, he hugged her to his chest, brushing his hand over her soft mahogany hair and reveling in the feeling of holding her, but she squirmed after only a second, eager to practice and enjoy her new found freedom some more.

So he set her down in front of him, letting her hold his fingers while she tested her legs. She wiggled and bounced all while giving him a big toothy grin. It was only minutes until she was letting go, and off in the other direction, on unsteady legs.

He was astounded and moved by her lack of fear, her determination, and he could hardly accept that this little girl was the tiny infant he'd brought to Aala only months ago.

"I'm going to make dinner," Aala said, getting up from the floor after a minute. She caught Mir before she got too far away and turned her to face Obi-Wan again. A squeal of delight left Mir, and Obi and Aala both chuckled as she began the steps again to her father.

"You two be good," Aala chimed as she headed for the kitchen.

He made a soft sound of acknowledgement, but his attention was focused on Mir.

Holding out his hands to her, he encouraged her to keep moving and she giggled. "Da-da," she cooed, in her baby voice and he felt a swell of happiness.

"My little Miracle," he murmured. Despite Aala's earlier admonishment, he couldn't help reaching out to her with the Force, not to help her, but to feel her, as he had the last time he was here, more than three months ago.

But different from the first time, her reaction now was instant; her own presence in the Force was strong and aware. It met his with none of the clumsiness she'd had before - eddies of energy and emotion, twirling together, tightening, binding.

The bond was formed instantaneously, like nothing he'd ever experienced before. Her signature formed a clear picture in the Force, something he knew he would recognize in a second, anywhere, and as she looked to him, trying to make her way across the floor toward him, he knew she could feel it as well.

And he felt that distinct awe again, that came upon him each time he saw her - she was his daughter, she was only here because of him and Aala, because of their love. It was difficult to fully comprehend, but impossibly... his love for Mira only grew more and more each day.

It was pure and brilliant, and he wondered at why he should be surprised. Surely, from this love would come the strongest bonds within the Force. For not the first time since he'd held Mira in his arms, his thoughts drifted to the Code and the way the Order had been before it fell. It was clear, the dangers that could come from passion, from possession and attachment, but he saw now what they had overlooked - the strength that could come from true bonds of love.

There was no reason to dwell on it now, though, and in her way Miracle pulled him straight back to the present. On her own, she reached out through the Force to him again and he met her - the instant unexplainable recognition between a parent and a child.

It was so wonderful, he only wished somehow he could explain it to Aala.

The bond between a mother and baby, he knew, was especially important and as strong as a bond in the Force, as perfect as the bond he shared with Miracle, but more than ever, the feeling was sneaking up on him that he wanted something more to share with Aala as well - the mother of his child. Being a parent, he saw now, was a true learning experience - something that would build and change each day and he was grateful and happy to have Aala by his side in this.

But each time he held Aala, each time he told her he loved her, it didn't seem enough now.. Deep down he wanted some way to express the enormity of what he felt, and he couldn't help but think of the gift he'd brought for her along with the ones for Mira's life day.

The feelings he'd always had for Aala, of love and affection, were magnified a hundredfold by the miracle of the family they'd created somehow, impossibly. Even though he knew dramatic displays of emotion, ceremony and tradition, were not something Aala had ever really cared about, expressing this to her, sharing it with her, seemed more important than it ever had before.

Determination came upon him then, sure and calm, to find a way to tell her this in some way that wouldn't scare the living Force out of her. Not now, but soon.

As first lifedays went, Aala imagined this one was pretty darn close to perfect and there was nothing that could have made her happier in this moment.

Obi-Wan had come almost two weeks early, and though he had said before that he would be there in plenty of time, and she knew he would... still the sight of him coming through their door, days before she had expected him - it had filled her with so much joy and relief, she felt that nothing could go wrong. Whatever lingering doubt she'd felt from the ordeal they'd been through - no matter how minuscule and deeply buried it was - vanished when she saw him step across the threshold of their home with a familiar smile and that expression of love that made his eyes glimmer; the one she knew was reserved for her and Mir alone.

Having him there early, to help plan, to share her excitement and just to spend this time with their daughter meant more to her than she ever thought it would. It was true, he could not be there every minute, but he had proven a hundred times over how much he cared, and she could not put into words how grateful she felt for this gift he had given her. It was more than she had ever imagined for herself.

The idea that Mira was already one year old was hard to accept but Aala wanted to celebrate it, the best they could; it was an incredibly special moment and it was so important to her to share it and experience it with all the happiness she felt.

At first, she had thought they might do something very simple, only the three of them but then she knew she could not leave Sola out, she had done so much. And then she'd added a few details here, and more there, and it had quickly turned into something much more resembling a party. Still, there was no one at the little party except for Aala's family - Sola, her husband, Mira's cousins, Aala's parents and her grandmother.

In all truth, Aala had done very little the past ten months except take care of Mir. She had old friends and acquaintances but she had not spoken to them much. She knew, though, she could not hide Mir forever.

It had been long enough now, it would be safe soon to let people assume she had adopted without suspicion tied into the rumors about Padme's situation. A part of her wanted to keep Mir all to herself, but she knew that was silly and she wanted her to experience as much of life as she could, as well.

But for now, it was just family, and it was perfect.

In her fashion, Sola had come a little early, laden with trays of food. She was amazing as always, helping in whatever way Aala asked her to, without being overbearing. While Sola had prepared a variety of different foods for the afternoon gathering, Aala focused on baking a perfect cake, coated in pale pink frosting and decorated with Mira's favorite berries for her first lifeday.

Ryoo and Pooja, now ten and eight, came with their father right on time. Though they were older, they adored their cousin, and came over often to spend time with Mira. Aala was happy to have other children around even though they weren't the same age; the three girls played and giggled and it always brought a smile to Aala's face.

And her parents, they doted on Mir non-stop, especially her father and Mir was entirely enamored with her Papa. There had been such a loss felt by the entire family with the passing of Padme, but with Mir a new light had come to her father's eye and Aala knew having Mir had helped to heal a deep wound in them all. New life was a powerful thing.

When everyone had settled and had something to eat, they gathered around the common room to open presents. There were far too many for a one-year old in Aala's opinion, most from Jobal and Ruwee, but the girls were quick to join their cousin on the floor to help her unwrap the gifts. Little Mira wasn't sure exactly what was happening and she was a little startled each time at the loud sound of the paper being torn and crumpled. Still, her wide blue eyes seemed to light up with every new toy or holobook.

While Sola took holopics, Obi-Wan sat in a chair next to Sola's husband, Darred, and the two of them attempted to keep the mass of wrapping paper, boxes and bows from piling too high. It took awhile to go through each present as Mira only wanted to play with each one as she opened it.

Sitting near her daddy's feet, she would turn to him every time with her new thing, and he would have to carefully direct her to the next present without making it seem like he was taking the other one away. After the fifth or sixth time, he caught Aala's eye from across the room and gave her an exasperated grin. Aala knew though, he really didn't mind in the least, and she gave a quiet laugh in return.

Soon enough though they were cutting the cake and 'awww-ing' as Mira used her little fingers to scoop cake and frosting by the handfuls. With a bit of a sugar high, she squealed and giggled, soft swirls of pink dotting her pale skin and chestnut curls, but it wasn't long before she was cleaned up and settled on Ruwee's lap with one of her new books.

Aala watched, attempting to be surreptitious, as her father and her daughter sat cuddled together in an oversized chair. Mira was positively rapt by her papa telling a story, and Aala couldn't help but smile, thinking that she could hardly get Miracle to sit still for a single minute.

It reminded Aala so much of their childhood; she'd often come across this very scene, her father reading to Padme, when they were young and she felt a rush of happiness and content she'd thought she'd lost when Padme had left them.

Miracle seemed to relax even further, and Ruwee's arm tightened around her; he looked up then, meeting Aala's watchful gaze with an affectionate wink, the overwhelming joy clear in the beam that was on his face.

Later, as the afternoon began to fade away, Obi-Wan and Sola were almost done picking up and Aala's grandmother, Ryoo, pulled her aside just before she left.

For a long time, especially as a teenager, Aala had felt their relationship was strained. Nothing she ever did seemed good enough. But they had grown closer in the last year and her grandmother doted on Mir as well.

In the entryway of Aala and Obi-Wan's house, her grandmother hugged her tightly with a warm, caring smile. "I want to tell you Aala, I think you're doing a fantastic job with Miracle."

Aala's reply was not much more than a whisper soft thank-you but she hugged Ryoo tightly in high praise was unexpected, and Aala's heart swelled with pride and love.

Nothing was better or more important to her now than raising Miracle and it meant everything to her to have the support of those she loved.

Quite perfect indeed.

As soon as everyone left, they finished the clean-up quickly and changed Mir into her pajamas. It was only early evening, just after dinner time and the sun was still streaming through the windows at the back of the house, but it had been a long afternoon. Obi-Wan and Aala both knew it would not be long before the excitement of the day would wear off and little Mir's eyelids would begin to droop.

Before they put her to bed though Obi-Wan had one more surprise. For a gift, he had gotten Miracle a warm, handmade quilt, from an old woman he had befriended on Tatooine. But he had another present as well, and it was one he wanted to share with Aala and Mir alone.

So as soon as they had settled in Mira's room, he brought the gift out, looking to Aala expectantly. He wasn't entirely sure how she would feel about it, though he had only the best intentions and he trusted she would know that.

Aala was sitting on the floor with Miracle in her lap and Obi-Wan kneeled beside them. The gift was wrapped only in a bit of tissue paper, and Obi-Wan carefully unfolded it while his girls watched. The bottom was a black stand, the same size as his hand with a circular shade that fit on the top.

Aala smiled as he held it out for them to see and then looked up to meet his eyes. "Is it a lantern?" She asked.

"A projection lamp," he answered. "There are stars etched into the shade that will light up when it's turned on, but there's more."

Carefully, he lifted the shade, setting it on the floor and in the center of the stand, securely set, there was a blue crystal, the length of his palm, finely cut. His eyes lifted back to Aala then, and she was looking at it, her gaze studious. "It's beautiful," she smiled.

"I got it when I was on Ilum a few months ago," Obi-Wan explained. "I don't know when I'll have the chance to go back..."

"Is it..." She paused, looking back to Obi-Wan for confirmation.

"Yes," he nodded, "it's a lightsaber crystal. I wanted Mir to have it. But of course whatever she decides to do with it is completely up to her."

Aala nodded, and Obi-Wan could tell she was thinking it over. He hoped she understood that the gift came with no expectations, no burdens. The future was uncertain, and Mir could choose to take any number of different paths. As long as she was healthy and happy, Obi-Wan would be happy as well, but still this was something he wanted to pass along to her, something with a great deal of meaning to him.

After a moment, Aala looked to him and the soft smile she cast him, the warmth in her eyes told him she understood.

"If you don't think it's safe here," he said, "I can keep it, but I thought..."

"No," Aala stopped him. "It's perfect. I know how important this is. We'll keep it under the shade, and no one will ever know." Aala smiled again, and held Mira up a little closer. "Look at the crystal, Mir, it's so pretty."

In response, Mir waved her little hand and gave Obi-Wan a wide smile. "Da-da," she grinned, reaching toward it.

Obi-Wan let her brush her fingers over the side of the crystal, and then he replaced the shade and flicked the lamp on as he used the Force to turn off the lights. The room lit up with a muted, pale blue glow, tossing the images of tiny stars onto the walls. Slowly, it began to turn, and the little stars, shining a bright cyan from the etching through the shade, slid over the walls, across Aala's face, and Obi-Wan's breath caught for a moment at the sight.

As the stars continued to turn around them, Mira shrieked happily and Obi-Wan and Aala both gave a quiet laugh.

"It's really beautiful," Aala said softly and Obi-Wan felt an answering swell of happiness.

For a while they played together quietly in Mira's room, but it was not long before the one year old began to yawn and rub her eyes and it seemed she fell asleep the moment they laid her in her crib.

With a broad smile, Aala commented that she thought it had been quite the perfect day, and Obi-Wan found he could not agree more.

And quite happily, Aala and Obi-Wan settled in the garden soon after putting Mira to bed that evening as the late summer sun was making its slow descent to the horizon.

"You're glowing," Obi-Wan smiled as soon as they were comfortable.

"I'm happy," she answered, snuggling closer. They sat together on a long lounge chair that fit the both of them, Aala lying in the crook of his arm. For a long time, they stayed that way, relaxed and at peace until Obi-Wan shifted and spoke up again.

"There's one more thing," he said quietly, and before he had a second thought, he sat up and pulled the gift he'd brought for Aala from his pocket, holding it up for her to see. It was a simple silver band with specks from the same blue crystal inlaid across the top.

Her eyes lit as she took it in, and he could tell she was clearly surprised. A slow smile broke across her face, and she turned to look at him. "For me?" she asked, her voice quiet.

"Yes," he chuckled. "Just for you."

Carefully she took the ring from him and slipped it on her finger. "It's so beautiful," she sighed, turning her hand in mid air so the flecks of crystal could sparkle, catching the light from the setting sun.

"I'm happy you like it." The words came out softer than he'd intended, and Obi-Wan realized he felt nervous, though he had no reason to. Her answer, either way, wouldn't change anything, would it?

"I thought perhaps -" he paused for a moment to clear his throat, "- you might like to wear it on your other hand."

The meaning in his words was clear and Aala stilled, her gaze shifting from the ring to him, her arm outstretched awkwardly, palm out-turned as if she was using the Force.

But she wasn't, of course. She was only staring at him now, as if he had asked her to lift a star ship from a swamp.

Obi-Wan couldn't help the wry lifting of one brow in question. It wasn't that crazy of an idea was it? They had a child together, they were committed to each other. After the long journey it had taken them to get to this point, and the way they had weathered the storm together, it felt natural. To him at least.

"Umm," she blinked then, her arm falling back to her side and a rush of air left her. "I wasn't..." she shook her head. "I wasn't expecting that." An anxious laugh escaped her as she looked at him, but he found he was at a loss for words.

Lifting her hand to her lap, she was quiet for a moment as she considered the silver ring. Silence was heavy in the air between them, and Obi-Wan wasn't sure what to think. He watched as she slid the circle, the symbol of his constant love, off her right index finger. For a moment, he realized he was holding his breath, watching, waiting to see if she would slip the ring onto her left hand, but she only held it, looking at it.

Soft blue eyes took in every detail of the simple ring as she stared, deep in thought, but still she said nothing.

"I love you, Aala," he said, finding his voice after a moment and shaking away his anxiousness. To him, their love was all that truly mattered, and he couldn't say it enough.

"I love you, too." She gave him a warm smile and then she slid the ring back onto her finger, right where it had rested before and the sigh that followed was soft, and a little sad.

"I'm not sure I really believe in marriage, Obi-Wan..." Her gaze was fixated now on her lap - on the hand that rested there as she fiddled with the ring.

"Your parents," he countered, his voice gentle, "Sola... does their example not make a strong case for marriage?"

She took a deep breath, and let it out slowly. "Then I'm not sure I believe in marriage for myself."

It was true, their relationship had never resembled anything conventional, but the war, Anakin's fall and return, having Mira - it all had changed him. "Everything is different now, Aala. This was not something I ever considered before for myself, but... my love for you and Mir is more than I ever could have imagined."

Aala caught her lower lip between her teeth, but her expression was soft and understanding. "I do love you, too, so much. But there's no reason... it's just not practical for us. It won't change anything - it can't be legal. Not with 'Obi-Wan Kenobi' wanted all across the galaxy."

"I know." He shifted closer to her then, sweeping his hand across her cheek, and then her hair, golden in the light from the sun, just to touch her. "There's no practical reason to get married, but I've thought about it for a very long time. All that matters to me is how much I love you and how much I want to show you."

She was quiet and he watched her carefully as he tried to gather his thoughts. Her face was uncharacteristically unreadable, perhaps because she wasn't sure of her own feelings. He had no intentions of trying to convince her - it was her decision to make - but he wanted to be sure she understood his feelings completely. Before he spoke, he drew a deep breath and took her hand in his own.

"Even though we can't legally be together, as Mr. and Mrs. Kenobi, that doesn't matter to me. I want to marry you, only because I love you that much. Because I want to be connected to you in every way possible. Because I want my bond to you to be as strong as it can be." He pulled her closer, his other arm tightening affectionately around her waist, as if to make his point. "But the decision is up to you. And no matter what... I will love you unconditionally... for the next thousand years, at least."

"That's very romantic," she grinned, her eyes soft and gleaming. She squeezed his hand, but then she shook her head again. "I don't know," she gave a soft chuckle. "It took me so long to even realize I loved you... I'm not sure what to say..."

The touch of his lips to her temple was gentle and reassuring, and he returned her smile without hesitation. "A simple yes or no is usually customary, my love."

But instead of answering, she relaxed into his touch, and he leaned back again on the lounge chair, holding her close to his chest. They stayed that way for a long while, her cheek pressed to his shoulder. It was so peaceful he might've forgotten he was waiting for an answer until she spoke, her voice impossibly soft. "No."

And his heart stopped.

AN: Don't worry, there is a second part and it will be posted next Saturday, in one week. Please, please let me know what you think! Comments always make me want to write more :-)

Many thanks to laloga for looking this over, and then looking it over again. Every comment, every bit of encouragement is worth more than I can say. Lyrics are from A Thousand Years by Christina Perri.

Thanks for reading and don't forget to review!