For Gentlemen Only
Chapter Four: The Rumor Mill
Stan laughs off the rumors he likes Craig but are they really rumors? Craig would be annoyed with the girls if he weren't enjoying himself so much.
The first week of senior year at Park County High School was more or less brutal for Stan Marsh. Despite the awkwardness he felt around Craig, the few classes they had together were probably the easiest to deal with.
On the first day of football, the coach called him into the athletic offices and had him go through what the coaching team called an "evaluation." It was more of a series of surveys about his social habits with a few transparent questions about his goals and motivations thrown in for good measure. Halfway through it Stan realized what the test was really about and felt sick to his stomach the rest of the day. He wished he had Kyle to unload his concerns to but every time they spied one another Kyle would clam up and walk the other way.
Craig would have been ideal given the kind of summer they had with a very open and easy friendship but something told him it would have made discussing the test impossible. Especially since a good four out of five questions dealt with his sexual experiences. He wasn't sure if it was entirely legal or not and as much as the thought depressed him Stan genuinely felt that he'd rather quit the sport before admitting the test even took place. He also knew that the awkwardness he felt around Craig was probably leading him down a path that would cause problems with his teammates. At least until he sorted it out.
It looked like he was going to have to think about it soon. He was surprised when Kenny sauntered up to him with his very free grin and threw an arm around his shoulders.
"I heard a rumor," Kenny sang into Stan's ear.
"Oh God, what is it this time?"
"You threw this big fit last year," Kenny held up his hands in a defensive gesture when Stan was about to speak. "So all the girls cooled their jets. And that's fine. Insane, but I get it."
"If you 'get it' then where the hell has your support been?"
"You are right," Kenny surprised him, "absolutely right, but I have been pleading your case to the judge and asking for a stay of execution."
Stan nodded and blew out a frustrated breath. "Kyle."
Kenny snapped his fingers. "Got it in one. He's really pissed you went to Craig's aid and not his."
"Kyle was at fault," Stan blinked and ignored the stares surrounding him as they wandered the halls of the school. "Craig didn't do anything wrong."
"Okay, but the fact you and Kyle haven't made peace is only fueling the rumor mill."
"What rumor? Wait," Stan pushed at Kenny's chest. "You know what, I don't care. Don't tell me." Kenny raised both his eyebrows and pursed his lips in amusement. "I'll make an effort towards reconciliation with Kyle."
"Whoa," Kenny's face fell into disbelief. "Working on your vocabulary this summer?"
Stan shrugged. Awkwardness flooded his system as he thought about how impulsively he studied over the summer. Not just to research for college but also because he quickly discovered that Craig had a much larger vocabulary base than he did. He hated to lose even though his best friend had a larger vocabulary than Craig.
"Whatevs," Kenny ruffled Stan's hair and took off down the hall at a jog.
Stan watched him go and flattened down his hair while he thought. Make up with Kyle. He really ought to; it was their last year of high school after all. His parents had been dropping hints that it would be best if he did. He just didn't know how to approach him.
"This is stupid," he mumbled to himself as he rummaged through his locker between class periods.
"I'll say," Wendy's voice echoed from behind him.
Stan rolled his eyes. "Hey Wends."
"Oh, so I'm Wends still?"
Stan shoved his Economics book into his locker and fished out his Physics. "I've always called you that whether we were together or not."
"Right," she shoved a hand in front of his face and smiled sweetly. "What do you think of the bracelet Daddy got me?"
He squint his eyes at the piece of jewelry. "Um, it's shiny?"
Wendy frowned. "Come on, Stan. Your opinion matters to me."
"And why is that, exactly?"
She sighed and put her hands on her hips. "I want a guy's honest opinion. And not one that's laced with some lame ass come on."
Stan gave her a confused look.
"Don't look so exasperated. Your secret is safe with me."
"What secret?"
"That you're dating Craig Tucker."
Stan felt like someone had just dumped a bucket of ice cold water down his back. "What?"
"Well," she waved a hand, "it isn't exactly secret secret since everyone's talking about it, but I want to show my support." She nodded earnestly at him.
"I'm still lost here," he nervously licked his lips. "Everyone equals who, exactly, and where is the evidence for this alleged relationship?"
Wendy narrowed her eyes at him. "I don't like that. Don't talk like him."
Stan laughed in disbelief. "Answers, Wendy?"
"Right, so everyone means everyone. At least, everyone that saw first hand how you went to Craig's aid at Token's party. And as for evidence, well, Craig has pretty much admitted it himself."
Stan crossed his arms and looked to the side. He knew Wendy was misunderstanding something but the idea that Craig would say they're dating kind of made him feel… happy. He exhaled sharply and turned back to Wendy knowing curiosity was getting the better of him.
"When did Craig say this?"
"Stan," Wendy leaned against the locker next to his and looked at him with the eyes of a predator. "Why aren't you denying it first?"
"What is there to deny? He and I aren't in a relationship. Not like that, anyway." He hoped he didn't sound as disappointed as he felt.
She stared at him as if waiting for the punch line of a joke. When he didn't say anything else she bit her lip unsuccessfully hiding a smile.
"I think you like him."
"Wendy," he groaned in frustration.
"Seriously. Is that why the coaches had you take that gay test? Not that it'll prove anything one way or the other. There isn't a test for that kind of thing let alone a multiple choice one." Wendy rolled her eyes.
Stan wanted very much to punch his locker but knew it would do nothing to help him. Instead he gave her a brief glare and headed off to his Physics class. Once again a ripple of stares followed him as he pushed through the halls. He grimaced as he approached the science lab. Physics was the only class he had with both Craig and Kyle. He meant to try to reconcile with Kyle but Wendy's accusation led his feet to the table in the back of the classroom. Clyde was seated on the black tabletop laughing at some story he was telling to a completely uninterested Craig. Stan made eye contact with him and felt his stomach squirm as Craig gave him a small smirk.
Ridiculous, he thought.
Clyde noticed Craig's change in expression and turned his head to see Stan. They exchanged nods as Stan stopped at the side of the table next to Craig's seat.
"I have to ask you a question," he rested both palms on the tabletop.
"Oh," Clyde laughed, "trouble in paradise, I'd better split." Stan turned his head towards him to yell at him but the brunette had already dashed off.
"Christ, what is with people today," he hissed at the space left by Clyde instead of doing what he really wanted to – follow Clyde and beat the shit out of him.
Craig jerked his chin in the direction of the vacant seat next to him. "Sit."
Stan gave him a bored look but walked around to take the seat anyway. A little too quickly, he noted. Craig waited patiently as Stan settled in and brought their chairs closer together so he could whisper to him.
"Answer me honestly," Stan hesitated trying to ignore how unbelievably good Craig smelled. "Did you tell Wendy you and I are dating?"
"Are we dating?" Craig looked flatly into his eyes.
"No," Stan responded and flinched as Craig reacted to the uncertainty in his voice.
"If you and I know it then what the fuck does it matter what they think?" Craig faced forward again.
"You mean to tell me that even the fact that your own friends are joking about it doesn't bother you?"
"Clyde is Clyde," Craig shrugged. "Outside of that I honestly don't care what they think."
Stan sighed.
"I don't know if you recall, Marsh, but this isn't the first time we've been accused of something that simply isn't true," Craig leaned his head in closer causing all sorts of signals to crisscross in Stan's brain. "You need to think about why it bothers you so badly and get over it."
Stan looked at Craig and realized he was right. Craig wasn't letting something as stupid as other people's opinions get to him. He had done a good job himself of letting that shit roll off of him so why did it bother him now? He studied Craig. He just exuded that 'don't give a fuck' mentality Stan wanted desperately to possess. His left arm rested on the table top with the right dangling by his side. He was slumped too far in his seat for it to be comfortable for his back and if you asked Stan, Craig's legs were splayed just a little too far apart. But he was confident. Confident enough to give Kyle a smug smile when he glared in their direction.
Stan relaxed in his seat and mentally checked out of the lesson. He'd borrow someone's notes later. Why was this bothering him so much? He thought about his conversations with Wendy and Kenny. Kenny hadn't flat out said it, but Stan knew what he had wanted to insinuate. Wendy, however, did flat out say it. You like him, she had said. Stan focused on that. It was ridiculous to hear someone else say it but would it really be so bad if he did?
He shook his head slightly. One of the main things he learned in football was that it is important to visualize your goal. Visualize yourself and your teammates executing the play. He tweaked the concept a little and visualized himself walking down the halls of the school. People passed him by or huddled against their lockers, whispering and laughing in his direction. He saw in his mind's eye Kyle leaning in an adjacent hallway, looking disappointed in him. He stopped and watched Kyle minutely shake his head, feeling a wave of dread wash over him. What was he doing? Where was he going?
Footsteps echoed in the hall and both he and Kyle turned towards their source. There was the usual group of Clyde, Token, Kevin, and Tweek heading down the hall from the opposite side. Stan looked at the person standing in the middle of their group, not paying attention to his surroundings as usual. Stan felt himself wishing Craig would look up at him, acknowledge him.
And then he did.
"Hey," the imaginary Craig nodded at him; his eyes shining dark with amusement and smirk playing on his lips. Since this was Stan's mind he could control the environment and didn't feel the nervous tension grapple his shoulders like when this actual scene played out each morning. Instead he saw himself smiling back at Craig thinking, I like him. I like Craig Tucker.
"Is there a problem, Mr. Marsh?" Stan blinked and the mental image of the hallway vanished to be replaced with the real classroom. Somehow during his visualization he went from relaxed in his seat to standing with his chair knocked backwards on the floor. He wondered why he didn't hear it himself. His teacher and the rest of the class were staring at him as if he was participating in a Dumbest Person Alive contest and winning.
"Uh," Stan felt like his mouth was full of cotton and feet were encased in cement. The teacher crossed his arms over his chest impatiently and Stan found himself glancing at Craig. Craig was slowly twirling his pen with his lips pursed together in an amused thin line. Stan's eyes locked with Craig's and for a moment Stan felt horror just knowing that Craig would figure out what he had admitted to himself. The horror finally pushed Stan's body into action and he turned back to the teacher.
"May I be excused?"
The teacher nodded and made hesitating sounds as Stan quickly collected all of his belongings and bolted out the lab door. He managed to get halfway to his locker when he spied a men's room and threw himself inside. He lunged for the nearest stall and vomited up his breakfast until he could hardly breathe. When he was done he slid to the floor with an undignified whimper and curled up on the nasty linoleum floor. His mind was reeling with questions and disjointed images of his summer with Craig. It was too much and threatened to incite another round of barfing. He did his best to focus solely on his breathing gradually emptying his mind in the process.
He nearly leapt out of his skin as he felt a pair of hands touch his forehead.
"Damn," Kyle's voice bounced softly off the walls of the thankfully vacated bathroom, "you don't look good at all, dude."
"Kyle," he breathed and felt instant relief that threatened to manifest into tears. He stared at the back wall of the stall, eyes following the plumbing from the wall to the toilet, and let out a shaky breath. He didn't think he could hold the tears back for much longer and would rather have Kyle with him at the moment than anyone else.
"It's okay, dude," Kyle patted his back soothingly. "Just calm down and tell me what's up."
Stan nodded and let the rest of his freak out pass, concentrating on Kyle's hands, and breathed another shaky breath.
"I like Craig Tucker."
He squint his eyes, waiting for the barrage of insults, screaming, and accusations. Instead there was only quiet. Kyle gently pulled Stan up into a sitting position.
"I know," he put an arm around his shoulders and leaned their heads together.
Stan pulled his knees up to his chest and rested his elbows on his knees, digging his palms into his eye sockets. "God, I really do like him."
"Its fine, Stan."
"How is it fine?" He looked at Kyle, vision blurring with tears. He did not want to cry and sniffed to keep them back. "When did this happen? Fuck."
Kyle sighed gently and squeezed Stan closer. "A while back."
"How do you know?"
"When you went to him instead of me at that party. I've been so angry about it because I thought you were hiding something from me. We've never hidden anything from each other and even though I started it, I was hoping you'd at least pull me to the side and explain you two were together or something."
Stan shook his head slightly unable to keep his tears back and leaned in to Kyle.
"So I watched you when I could," he heard Kyle's voice break. "I saw you had a job Craig Tucker helped you get. I saw you share lunches with Craig Tucker. I saw your expression change when he walked into a room. I saw how you'd fidget when you were waiting for him after work or when you two saw movies. I hated him so much for taking away my best friend during our last summer." Stan snaked an arm around Kyle, realizing Kyle hadn't misunderstood him at all. He had to deal with the same realization Stan was, only Kyle had gotten a head start as usual.
"Then it dawned on me that you didn't know you liked him. I mean, even a couple of guys trying to keep it on the down low slip up and you two never did. Well," Kyle sighed. "I wasn't watching Craig so much as you, so I don't know what he's thinking. Then again, does anyone?"
Stan allowed himself to laugh at that. "Of all people, Craig Tucker…"
Kyle grimaced. "That's what I said. Kenny's figured it out, too, by the way." Stan felt his stomach tense up again but Kyle resumed his soothing pats on his shoulder. "We got the fatass away from the camping trip long enough to discuss things. Kenny was the one to suggest you didn't know."
Stan sighed and bumped his head against Kyle's.
"Stan, we both support you. You know that we don't care one way or another so long as you're happy," Kyle laughed a little. "But yeah, Craig Tucker."
Stan felt immensely better and wished he could brush his teeth. He wiped at his eyes and frowned. "He's really easy to be around."
Kyle gave him a gentle squeeze to show he was listening.
"I just felt all this pressure after last year. I hate stereotypes and felt everyone was pushing one on me. When I told the girls enough I thought it wouldn't be such a big deal. It took me a while to realize that I wasn't and haven't been attracted to any of them for a long time."
He felt Kyle nod. "And Craig?"
"I realized after that party that I found him attractive."
Kyle nodded again.
"Well, it was actually after the party when he gave me a ride back to town but it didn't really sink in until the other one."
Kyle groaned and Stan flinched self-consciously. "Great, now I owe Kenny ten bucks."
Stan nearly laughed at that. "What?"
"I swore up and down that it was Token's party but Kenny insisted it had started earlier. Lame," he titled his head and gave Stan an uncharacteristic lop-sided grin. Stan smiled back. "That's better. So tell me what he's like."
Stan picked at his palm. "He's really easy to be around. I don't have to force conversation with him. The girls always wanted my opinion on this and wasn't it unbelievable some other girl had said that. Craig ignores the drama bullshit and gets to the why of the issue." He felt his face heat up. "It's refreshing."
"Well, that's a relief," Kyle grinned again. "I wasn't sure if I could handle you discussing his hot bod or how you can't wait to have his mouth around your dick or something."
Stan cringed. "Aw, sick, dude."
"You did say you found him attractive," Kyle teased.
Stan laughed and looked down feeling shy again. "I admit I like his eyes."
Kyle mocked a retching sound and the two laughed. "Sorry, guess you don't want to hear that again."
"Please, no," Stan cleared his throat. "In fact, we should probably never discuss this again and just go back to class. After we find some toothpaste."
Kyle made a humming noise. "I've got a better idea. Let's go see the nurse."
Kyle helped Stan get to his feet and to the sink. While Stan did his best to clean up, Kyle flushed the toilet and washed his hands. Instead of drying them, he patted water on Stan's forehead and winked. "Trust me."
Kyle led Stan towards the nurse's office and after whispering for him to look miserable, which wasn't too difficult to pull off, they went inside. Kyle explained that Stan was sick and offered to give him a ride home if his mother was okay with it. The nurse made a face and dialed the number listed in Stan's emergency contact file. She had a quick conversation with Sharon, repeatedly having to say it was Kyle Broflovski, yes ma'am, who was offering to drive Stan home. When she finally hung up she gave them a suspicious smile and released them from school.
It wasn't the same as ditching, but Stan could admit as they took off in Kyle's car that it was a whole hell of a lot more fun.
"Hey Craig," Millie gave him a fake smile as she sauntered over to his regular table in the cafeteria. At least she didn't assume she had the right to sit down. "How's it going with your boyfriend?"
"For someone who lost interest in him all the time you seem overly keen to keep track of him now."
"Don't be a bastard, Craig," she glared at him. "Why don't you help us all out and convince him to go back to his old routine?"
"Again with the canine references," Craig smirked at her over his can of Coke. "You truly are a clueless bitch."
Millie's mouth popped open in insult. She shook her head and looked around at the other occupants of the table for assistance. His friends tactfully kept their silence suddenly very interested in their lunches.
"Whatever, Craig." He watched as she stomped off to the girls' table. Once there, the other girls made sympathetic faces and took turns giving him glares. He winked at every one of them.
"Craig," Clyde shot him a glare. "What the hell? You usually let this kind of shit roll off you."
Craig clicked his tongue in annoyance. "Don't be such a buzz kill, Clyde."
Token, Kevin, and Tweek looked at him with classic expressions of surprise.
"Whoa," Token whispered.
"If you're going to snark at people," Clyde hissed, "then do it to us. Leave the girls to their own devices."
"It doesn't have anything to do with you," Craig responded calmly.
"Same to you," Clyde shot back. "They're pissed at Stan. You don't have anything to do with his decision to keep his balls blue."
"That's not exactly true and you know it, Clyde," Kevin finally recovered from his shock. "He and Stan are pals now, remember?"
"Yeah, I remember," Clyde looked away and tore at his sandwich. "All the 'hey, wanna come over?' 'No I have plans with Marsh.' we went through this summer."
"Don't tell me you're jealous, too," Token laughed.
"No one's laughing with you, Token," Clyde sneered.
"Christ, dude," Token glared at Clyde, "you have to admit the whole situation's stupid. So what if Marsh doesn't want to date any of the girls?"
"You're only saying that because now you can have them unopposed," Clyde grumbled.
"You say that like you don't have any game," Token teased. Tweek began his periodic squealing and panicked grunts.
"Fuck you."
"At least someone is."
Craig sighed and poked his cold spaghetti with his plastic fork. Clyde was right in that he really shouldn't be addressing the girls and their assumptions at all. He and Stan weren't dating, weren't even really 'pals' as Kevin had put it, and certainly weren't boyfriends. They hadn't really spent a whole lot of time together during the break, either. Just the occasional lunch during their shifts and the usage of his free movie pass benefits. Granted, he furrowed his eyebrows as he reflected on it, you generally didn't go to the movies or meal with the same person more than once a week. You also didn't have dinners with their families, show off your anime collection, or eat baked treats they made. No matter how he tried to dress it up he was no longer a mutual acquaintance or childhood rival or whatever.
He pushed aside the thought, what did it matter what his relationship to Stan was? He didn't know what to think about the blatant suggestions the entire school seemed intent on making about them. Occasionally someone would ask why he wouldn't just deny the whole thing and let it die there. Part of him knew that it wouldn't end even if he announced over the p.a. system that he and Stan Marsh were not a couple. The other part didn't want to say either way because it was just too much fun to watch everyone squirm at the implications of what he was saying. Again, he reminded himself, only Marsh and I know that nothing is going on and everyone else can fuck off.
"Great," Clyde groaned, "here comes Wendy."
"Hey boys," Wendy beamed at everyone in turn leaving Craig for last. "How's it going?"
"Pretty good," Kevin laughed nervously. "Lots of company today."
Tweek mumbled about girls and pressure.
"I can see," she didn't take her eyes off of Craig. Now it was officially ridiculous. How many stare downs did he have to do with Wendy Testaburger before she got a fucking clue? Every time he passed her in the halls or the library she'd smile like she knew some secret that simply didn't exist. It had been like that ever since the start of school and as the weeks kept passing he was getting really tired of her act.
"Is there something I can help you with, Testaburger?" He gave his spaghetti a final stab but held on to the fork.
"There actually is, Craig," she tucked some of her hair behind her ear and sat down directly across from him uninvited. "I wanted to know if you were done with your lunch so we could have a little chat."
Craig glanced at his friends. Token was preoccupied with staring at Testaburger's breasts, Kevin and Tweek were both looking nervously at each other, and Clyde met his eyes and shook his head slightly. Craig looked back at Wendy.
Time to end this, he thought. "Sure."
"Fuck," Clyde sighed as Wendy shot him a thousand watt smile. Craig took his time standing up and throwing his messenger bag around his torso. He piled up his trash and followed Wendy out of the cafeteria. He shoved his empty hands into the pockets of his hoodie, smirking to himself at the repetition of history, and followed Wendy to the same courtyard Kyle had led him to.
"So," Wendy sat down on a stone bench tucked away in a corner. "I wanted to talk to you about—"
"Marsh," Craig said flatly. "I get it."
Wendy tilted her head to the side and frowned. Another damn dog, Craig mentally sighed.
"Right, but why don't you sit down?"
"I prefer to stand."
"Is the soreness as bad as they say?" She smiled cheekily at him.
"Does it look like I take it up the ass?"
Wendy openly laughed at that and Craig allowed himself to smirk a little. Wendy wasn't going to ride him about this Stan thing like the other girls but he wasn't fooled.
"What's your agenda here, Testaburger?"
She managed to get halfway through a fake insulted face before sighing and slouching back on the bench. She rubbed at her eyes surprising Craig with a seldom show of exhaustion. When she opened her eyes she gave him a small smile.
"The girls are complaining about Homecoming."
Craig laughed under his breath and looked around the courtyard. "I suppose that means you're giving up on him?"
"That would make one less enemy for you, huh?"
"We aren't together."
"I know," she stared at him without any trace of hostility.
Craig regarded her thoughtfully for a few moments before slowly walking to the bench and sitting down next to her. She patted him on the knee.
"That's better."
"What does this have to do with me?"
"Well, Red wants your permission to take him to the dance. Heidi has promised to share him with you at the dance and after party in North Park. Millie wanted to know if she could nominate you for Homecoming Queen."
Craig blinked at her slowly. "Are all of your friends fucking retarded?"
Wendy smiled in sympathy. "No one is a friend of mine if they make me act as ambassador of someone else's senior year."
Craig groaned and leaned his head back to stare at the sky. "Why didn't you talk to Marsh about asking someone? Or suggest you two just go as friends so people can get on with their fucking lives?"
"Who are you taking to Homecoming?" Wendy crossed her legs and leaned towards him slightly.
"No one. I don't participate in that kind of shit."
Wendy made a disappointed noise. "Well, I did talk to Stan about taking a girl on a Friends Only status. He wants to go with the person he likes."
"So why doesn't he just ask her already?"
"It's a little more complicated that than," Wendy said hesitatingly.
"Again," he felt his patience wearing thin, "what does this have to do with me?"
"Well, I was wondering," Wendy fiddled with the hem of her skirt. "I was wondering if you might consider asking him."
Craig responded with a glare.
"All of your friends have dates. Even Tweek is going with that home schooled girl from Middle Park."
Craig didn't move a muscle. She could not be serious about this.
"Right," she held up her hands and looked away, "because it isn't completely normal for a couple of guys to go as friends or anything."
"Then why doesn't he go with Broflovski?" Craig was starting to feel annoyed and it wasn't the usual kind of annoyance that came with being forced to participate in social situations.
"Kyle is going with Annie," she twirled some hair around her finger. "And before you ask Kenny and Cartman are also going with dates."
"I suppose you're out as just friends as well?"
"I have a date," she didn't look at all apologetic about it.
"Right," Craig took a deep breath. "My going with Marsh as Friends Only isn't going to cause more of a scene either, huh?"
Wendy smirked at him. "I thought you didn't care about all this drama?"
Craig looked at her flatly.
"You know," she leaned forward, turning her head close to his, "you did tell Bebe and me that you'd take him some place nice."
Craig looked at her in resignation. He knew where this was going.
"Some place 'classier than a darkened laundry room for a quick feel up' if I remember correctly."
Craig looked away and smirked. He had really enjoyed that one.
"I'd hate to see you made into a liar, Craig."
They both looked towards the building as the after lunch bell rang. Wendy let her shoulders sag and sighed.
"Just give it some thought. No one will judge you," she winked at him before getting up and heading into the building.
Craig stayed a moment longer working the muscle in his jaw. Homecoming would be the second dumbest experience of his high school career and he already knew that his parents weren't going to let him off the hook over prom. His mother actually had money put to the side for his tux. He groaned and headed inside the building.
Part of the reason the rumors were still circulating was that Craig and Stan shared almost all of their classes this year. Obviously Craig wasn't in football and Stan wasn't in Photography but aside from Craig's theatre tech class and Stan taking a writing elective they had the same schedule. He figured he would have just enough time before their English class to stop Stan at his locker and get this horrible idea over with. Sure enough Stan was frantically rummaging through his locker while Kenny stood nearby laughing at him. Craig ran a hand through his hair and steadily approached feeling like a complete fool.
"Hey," he felt his body temperature sky rocket as he realized he was actually going to do this.
Stan straightened up and looked at him with wide eyes. "Hey, Craig."
"Oh," Kenny rolled his eyes with that stupid shit eating grin on his face, "look at the time I'd better go away." He winked at Craig and whistled a tune that sounded suspiciously like a certain Celine Dion song.
Stan looked panicked for a moment as Kenny took off before facing Craig again. "Sorry about that." He gave him a timid smile.
Craig studied Stan's face for a moment. Ever since that day in Physics when he bolted out of the classroom and cut the rest of the day with Kyle, Craig had noticed Stan acted incredibly skittish around him. Some times Stan would do an about face when they spied each other in the hallways and other times he caught Stan blatantly staring at him. It was actually kind of funny when that happened while they were seated at the same table because Craig would reach over and firmly close Stan's jaw as he called him a human waterfall. It wasn't interesting at all how red the football player's face got after that.
Craig shook his head a little and sighed. "So, Marsh, what are your plans for Homecoming?"
Craig watched as the color appeared to drain from Stan's face and almost wanted to laugh at the way his mouth flapped open and closed like a suffocating fish.
"Playing in the game?" Stan's eyes darted around.
Craig nodded. "After that?"
Stan took a deep breath and turned his attention back to his locker. "Well, I was hoping to go with someone but it isn't going to work out like I want."
Craig felt a pang of something incredibly foreign and unidentifiable in his chest and licked his lips. "All our friends are going with dates."
Stan simply gave him a single nod placing a hand lightly on his English textbook.
"Maybe we could go stag," Craig looked up at the ceiling noting how dirty the tiles were.
"Really?" Craig turned his head to look at Stan. He looked slightly wide eyed again and Craig found it encouraging and so uncharacteristically Stan Marsh, popular jock. He kind of liked it.
"Yeah," Craig said slowly, "senior year and all that. Why not?"
"Why not," Stan repeated and looked like he was struggling over something.
"Unless, of course, you'd rather try your person again."
"No," Stan startled him with the volume of his voice. "No, it'd be cooler to go stag." Stan nodded his head.
"All right," Craig blinked. Why did this feel like it was turning into something completely different from what he originally thought? "So we'll hash it out later?"
"Yeah," Stan grinned at him. "It'll be great. I mean, the dance will suck but we can go later just before everyone heads out to the after party."
Craig nodded. "Sounds good."
"Great," Stan's grin grew if it was at all possible and Craig found himself struggling to keep his own from spreading across his face. "This is perfect."
"Grab your book before we're late," Craig turned his head away. He watched from the corner of his eyes as Stan pulled out his book and shut his locker. Stan fell in step beside him as they made their way towards their class. Craig continued to watch Stan from the corner of his eye. Stan must not have realized because he had a small, shy smile on his face. Craig felt his lips part as he realized that Stan was happy that he, Craig Tucker, had asked him to go with him to Homecoming. Stag, of course.
He had made Stan happy and Craig looked away in time to see Millie, Red, and Heidi halt their conversation with an exasperated looking Wendy. Wendy blinked and looked between him and Stan then smiled at Craig.
"So everything's settled then?"
Craig smirked back at her. "Guess so."
"That's all right then," Wendy lifted a hand to cover her widening smile.
"What's that about." Stan asked him but when Craig looked at him Stan looked too distracted for a proper answer. It only fueled Craig's desire to toy with the girls again.
"Just them searching for some confirmation," Craig smirked at the girls. Wendy laughed while the other three gaped at them.
"Unbelievable," he heard the girls shrieking as he and Stan passed them in the hall. "What the hell is he thinking?"
"I don't know," he heard Wendy respond carefully. Craig was pretty sure that even though the girls were referring to Stan, Wendy was talking about him.
"Stan," Kyle laughed from behind him on his bed, "you know there isn't any point in preening for the dance now when you have to play the game first."
Stan frowned at his super best friend through the mirror and looked back at his own reflection. His nervousness only increased as he took in the faint sheen of sweat starting on his forehead, two bright blue eyes nearly without their pupils, and hair twisted awkwardly around his ears. He felt like he was twelve years old at his first boy-girl party all over again.
"What if he figures it out and freaks?"
"What if he figures it out and says its okay?"
"There's no way," Stan watched as his anxiety spread across his brows.
Kyle chuckled and moved from Stan's bed to stand next to him in front of his mirror. "I'm pretty sure it will be okay." They fell silent watching their reflections in the mirror. Kyle smiled, "You should tell him."
"No way," Stan pushed away from his dresser and began pacing his room. He was supposed to leave in half an hour to get ready for the game. Usually this time was spent to get his mind focused but he was too excited for after the game. The only reason he wasn't making a complete ass of himself was because of Kyle.
"I really think you should, Stan."
"Kyle, I've been so freaked out for two months over this…" he took a deep breath just like he and Kyle had practiced, "this crush."
Kyle grinned at him.
"He's been acting nonchalant about the rumors but I'm terrified over what he'll do when I tell him they aren't rumors." Stan crossed his arms and looked out his window.
Kyle gave him a very masculine slap on the back. "It'll either go really well or…" Kyle let the sentence hang in the air with a wave of his hand.
"Fantastic," Stan swallowed, hoping his lunch wouldn't make another appearance.
"Dude," Kyle laughed and hugged his shoulder. "It'll be okay. Just, hold off until the after party. Have a few beers, work up the courage, and pull him to the side and tell him. Easy."
"Easy," Stan repeated. "Beer, man up, tell him."
"Exactly," Kyle smiled. "I seriously doubt it'll go as bad as you fear."
"Beer, man up, tell him," Stan chanted repeatedly under his breath as Kyle laughed and pushed him out the door to head back to campus.
He had already left his clothes for the evening in his locker in the locker room. Every time he went to pull something out of his locker, his hand would brush the fabric which would cause his heartbeat to start racing again. He knew this was getting out of hand so he quickly finished suiting out and forced himself to focus. By the time the coaches entered the locker room for the pre-game pep talk he was ready for the field.
Stan had a finely honed ability to tap into a different part of his psyche when he played the game. He was focused, driven, and executed the plays flawlessly. There was still much to be said for his technique but no one doubted his abilities as a quarterback. If he had tried harder at training camps he might have a shot at a full scholarship. Instead, Stan played the sport for fun. It was exhilarating to be a more primal version of his self. He felt like he could tackle any problem, literally, head on.
The fact that this was the school's homecoming game meant most of the team was feeling extra pressure. The rest were distracted over the post-game festivities. Stan felt confident the team could win, and by the end of the third quarter he knew they had it in the bag. He removed his helmet and motioned to one of the trainers for some water. He scanned the crowd absentmindedly as he caught his breath. He felt disgusting and sweaty but everyone was cheering them on. Spectators often forgot how important of a part they played in boosting their team's morale.
As he took a refreshing drink of water he happened to spy some familiar faces that managed to stick out among the shiny mums pinned to damn near every person in the stands. Kyle had an arm around his date, Annie, who had on one of the most ridiculous mums Stan had ever seen. You could tell it had been made by Sheila Broflovski. Kyle smiled and waved to him before slapping the arm of the person next to him.
Even from across the field he managed to find himself at a loss for words over Craig's eyes.
Craig had his head tilted so he could hear Kyle speak and still look in Stan's direction. Once he figured out which one he was, Stan saw Craig give him a slight smirk and jutted his chin up once. Stan's stomach did a flip flop. Craig actually came to see him play. Well, maybe he had been talked into showing up with one of his friends but Stan allowed himself to pretend it had been for him. He took another drink of water and wiped his already soaked towel across his sweaty forehead.
Craig looked good.
"Marsh," his coach yelled. "Let's get back out there and wrap this up!"
"Yes sir," Stan murmured, tearing his eyes off of Craig at the last possible moment.
The game lasted only fifteen more minutes with the Park County High team winning by a fairly decent margin. Everyone in the stadium erupted into cheers the squad could still hear from deep inside the locker room. Stan sat on the bench next to his locker and waited for most of the other guys to clean up and change for the dance. He wanted to be one of the first so he could get a better look at Craig but it was best to cool his jets. Everyone knew he didn't have a date and to rush out to Craig would have caused him to have yet another awkward ethics lecture with the head coach. Really, Stan wasn't fooled by the "this is a man's sport" bravado pounded into his ears. There were gay players out there.
He shook his head as he gathered up his things to use in the shower. While he admitted he liked Craig, he wasn't sure if that really made him gay. He still found himself looking at girls. On television and in magazines. He almost felt ashamed of how impulsive he was being just telling Craig how he felt instead of looking at what that meant in the bigger picture.
By the time he was done cleaning up the majority of the locker room had cleared out leaving only the trace of cologne and spray on deodorant in the air. Stan carefully dried his hair and got dressed in his special occasion suit with bright blue tie. He checked himself in the mirror, satisfied that he looked his best, and after putting away his things for the weekend he head out of the locker room.
Only a few players were in the hallway just outside of the room milling around with their dates. Stan realized his palms had gotten super sweaty in the short span of three minutes and rubbed them on his pant legs.
"Maybe this is a bad idea," he murmured as he walked down the hall. He had no idea where to find Craig and wondered for a moment if there had been a change of plans and everyone took off for the after party instead of the dance.
"There you are," a low voice sounded from behind him. Stan whipped around so quickly he almost toppled over. "You were taking for fucking ever."
"Sorry," Stan hoped his smile wasn't as awkward as he felt. He took a moment to survey Craig and was pleasantly surprised. He was wearing a nice fitting dark grey three piece suit with a charcoal tie. His hair was hanging just so in front of his eyes but the color scheme made them pop out even more vividly than he saw from the field. "You clean up nice."
Craig looked taken aback for a fraction of a second then smirked. "Damn straight, I do."
"No seriously," Stan said in a slight daze, "I'm impressed."
"Whatever," Craig rolled his left shoulder in a gesture of indifference that threatened to make Stan turn into a pile of undignified goo on the floor. "Let's check out this stupid dance."
"Right," Stan was thankful that Craig chose that moment to turn his back on him and lead the way to the school gymnasium. He let out the giant smile he had been holding back and followed Craig's retreating back. Craig slowed his pace so Stan could catch up. Stan tried to think of something to say; just the sound of their dress shoes echoing off the walls of the hall brought up all the insecurities he had been feeling earlier.
He glanced over at Craig. Craig had always been a few inches taller than him but right now he seemed so much taller. It appeared that where Stan had filled in more thanks to sports, Craig had grown tall and lean. Stan breathed a laugh and realized that Craig knew he looked good. He was merely stroking his own ego by walking with his back straighter than usual, his right arm holding back the side of his jacket with his hand in his pocket. Whatever doubts Stan had about his physical attraction to Craig flew out the window.
"There it is," Craig murmured as they approached the sounds of music reverberating through the gym. Stan felt his stomach rotating again as laughter from the other students broke through. "Let's get this over with."
Stan nodded and the two walked in through the open double gym doors. Stan grimaced at the décor and spied from the corner of his eye that Craig was doing the same.
"Like a fucking pink cake," Craig growled.
Stan let out all of his earlier nervousness in a bark of laughter. "I was thinking the same thing."
Craig smirked at him and pointed towards some tables set to the side. "I told Clyde to grab us from over there when everyone was heading out."
Stan nodded and followed as Craig led the way towards them. He looked around at the faces of the crowd for familiar ones and blinked as they stared back. Only they weren't looking at him, he turned his head in time to see Craig notice all the attention he was getting. He looked incredibly uncomfortable. It made Stan smile.
They sat at the same table for almost forty minutes, the entire time people seemed to be cueing up to compliment Craig. A few girls had even gathered the courage to ask him for a dance. He refused them all, much to Stan's joy and amazement, in a toned down version of his typical fashion.
"No thanks," he said flatly as the tenth girl fidgeted in front of them. Not that Stan had been counting.
"Oh, okay," she smiled sheepishly and skittered off to her group of friends. They all joined hands and squealed excitedly. Freshmen, Stan rolled his eyes.
"Hey there, stud," Kenny's voice shouted from three feet away. Stan shook his head in amusement. Kenny wrapped his arm around Bebe's waist and pointed at Stan and Craig. "Everyone's just about ready to go. Who are you riding with?"
"We're driving ourselves," Craig flicked some nonexistent dust off his knee before standing. Stan ran his tongue over his bottom lip.
"All right, all right, so you're Stan's designated driver," Kenny winked at them.
"I'm not getting drunk tonight, Kenny."
"I, however, am. So, Craig, you wanna be my sexy d.d.?"
Craig looked at Stan then back at Kenny. "I wasn't planning on it."
"You wouldn't force me to drive home?"
"You don't have a car, McCormick," Craig smirked. "If you're ready to go when I am, then you can ride but no fucking, groping, or slurping in my backseat."
"Ah, saving that special place for yourself, I see," Bebe leered.
"Especially not with her," Craig pointed in Bebe's direction without breaking eye contact with Kenny.
"Got it," Kenny mock saluted him. "Let's get the fuck out of here."
The ride to North Park wasn't as awkward as Stan thought it would be. Despite Craig's rules, Kenny kept running his hands suggestively over Bebe's leg just enough to incite giggle fits. Stan gave Craig sympathetic smiles every time he glanced his way. Stan could tell he was annoyed. His knuckles were white on his steering wheel.
The moment they got to the party Kenny and Bebe took off in the direction of the stairs. Just like in South Park, nearly every house in North Park had been built using the same floor plan. Difficult to make your home stand out amongst neighbors; easy for home invasions and navigation during social events.
"You lead the way," Craig smirked at him. Stan gave a short nervous laugh and headed in the direction of the living room. On this street, Stan had noted from earlier parties, there was a short hallway that offshoot from the living rooms. If they could elbow indiscreet gropers it would be the perfect place for Stan to gather his courage to confess to Craig. Stan was surprised to see the area was free of occupants and leaned against the wall just inside the hallway while Craig stood nearby.
They watched the dancers and occasionally peered into the open kitchen to see who was there and what drunken game was going on. Half an hour flew by before Stan realized and over half of the party was drunk on festivities and the team's victory. Usually Stan was offered drinks but every party he went to with Craig now saw that tradition gone. Glancing at Craig's profile, Stan couldn't say he was sorry to miss it.
"Excuse me," a shaky female voice caused both Stan and Craig to turn towards it. A very tiny blonde in a short green dress giggled red faced at them in turn before making eye contact with Craig. "I was wondering if we could dance."
"Fuck off," Craig glared at the girl, startling her out of what only moments ago was obvious drunkenness. Stan almost felt sorry for her and turned to tell Craig to cool it when he felt him prop his elbow up against the wall right behind his head. I'm pinned, he thought. Craig continued to glare at the girl until the crowd had swallowed her whole then turned his gaze back to Stan. He felt himself struggling for breath at the close proximity. All he had to do was lean forward just a couple of inches and he could kiss him. It seemed like an impossible void to breach.
"That wasn't nice," he breathed, startling himself with the volume of his voice but it hadn't really been anything louder than a whisper.
"I don't need to collect any groupies," Craig titled his head just a fraction, staring at Stan with such intensity he wondered if he'd get to kiss him after all – of Craig's own volition.
"Still," Stan half-heartedly reprimanded. "Everyone just wants to compliment you. Don't be a jerk."
"I don't care about other people's opinions," Stan wondered if Craig could force his voice into a lower register than he was using at the moment. He felt his heart thump as the words sunk in. Again with that intensity. Stan knew he was getting carried away and hadn't had a single beer but it felt right, so…
"Craig."
Craig's eyes signaled his attentiveness. Stan braced his full back against the wall head bumping Craig's hand, while he placed both of his own palms flush against the wall.
"I like you."
Craig's stare softened and his lips parted ever so slightly. Closer, Stan thought. Please come closer to me.
"I like you," he repeated.
Craig's expression didn't change and Stan didn't care if it ever did. He finally said it and even though he had thought it a million times, bored Kyle and Kenny with it a thousand more, it finally felt right. It was in cement now, there was no going back.
Finally Craig nodded slightly and searched his eyes.
"Okay."
Stan let out a breath he didn't know he had been holding. It wasn't a yes since there hadn't been a question. It wasn't rejection, either judging by the fact Craig still hadn't put any distance between them. But it wasn't a full reciprocation, which sank like lead in his chest.
"Let me think about it," Craig said.
"Okay."
A/N: Nice pause! I'm always really pleased when it comes to doing my final edits for these chapters because I wrote these first five like… months ago and they still affect me the way I want. Awesome~
Anyway, I wanted to thank you guys for your reviews and the like. Every time I see an e-mail about this story my jaw just drops. I didn't think anyone would like it because it's so drawn out but… my goal was to do something a little more realistic than 'suddenly he smiled and I knew I loved him and wanted to bend him over the library table!' Not that those are bad or anything it's just nice to have a change of pace every once in a while, right?
I wanted to leave you with a longer note than usual this time talking about this story because I've been pretty regular about posting chapters but the next one might take a little longer. Craig's being a dick and I'm having issues fleshing him out. I had originally hoped to stop this story at seven chapters and then make a sequel but the more I read over it all (I have up to like… chapter seven and a half done) the more rushed it feels. I really hope to convey their growth as individuals and moving into a relationship, etc. Yadda, yadda, yadda, and sap on a stick. It'll come along just fine in the end, though. It's the first fic in a while that I've written with this length where I have a very clear, precise point where I want to end it. Quarters for a Five Dollar Bill doesn't count because it was originally an exercise in porn and I believe we agree that was rather successful since it's so damn short.
This is too long but really – thank you guys for the reviews, favs, and subscribes. It's really great you've taken some time out to tell me what you think and I hope my appreciation will show through as the fic progresses. Till next time~