It'd been at least a week or better since Jessica started to work for the WWE. She'd yet to actually see him, though she caught herself looking for him every chance she got, really. He was still her addiction, she'd finally realized that 'escape' all those years ago, well..

It'd been temporary. She'd never really escaped him, not at all. One doesn't fall that hard and make it out the other side seemingly overnight. Granted 4 years wasn't overnight, but it was sufficient enough a length of time that she shouldn't fall asleep wishing his arms were around her, his lips on her neck, or she shouldn't hear the one song she actually got him to dance with, during some shitty street fair's concert and find herself wishing that she hadn't walked away, she'd stayed and tried to make him see that no matter what he did, how he acted, she loved him, he was her man.

That, sadly, was where she'd failed him, just like everyone else. She didn't date anyone, she didn't want to, really. The man she wanted, the man she needed, right now, was so damn close that sometimes, she could smell his cologne permeating the air around her.

Today, like most any other day, she and AJ sat in the makeup area, the door shut, watching the show on the small monitor provided while Cloe napped nearby, having just spent the better part of at least an hour playing in the McDonalds playground when they'd stopped to eat before heading to the arena.

AJ happened to look over, spot Jessica wincing as Dean took hit after hit from Daniel Bryan. "Can he not throw him like that? Really?" she muttered as she bit her fingernails, worried, just as she'd done so many times before, when she'd go to his CZW shows.

AJ couldn't take not asking anymore, they'd been friends for a little while now, they roomed together even.. "Is he the guy? The one you were talking about earlier?"

Jessica sighed and looking at her hands said quietly, "Yeah, he is.. But when I left him, I basically failed him like everyone else has... He's probably done with me anyway."

"So he's Cloe's father?"

"Mhmm."

"Does he KNOW?"

"Nope. The night I left I tried over and over to tell him, but he was drunk and he was accusing me of sleeping with Nick Gage or some other guy. I don't remember, but he basically shouted at me that he was done with me. I said things, he said things and I realized that maybe I needed to just go. He'd told me over and over again he hated the idea of ever being a father, settling down.." Jessica trailed off as she looked at her half eaten box of Chicken McNuggets, sighing.

"You need to tell him, girl."

"I know, AJ. I've been waiting to run into him. I just.. I'm scared of what'll happen if I do, as far as Cloe's concerned. I don't want her hearing him say something horrible like she was a mistake that wasn't supposed to happen, or he doesn't want a kid, or he's not her father, it has to be someone else." Jessica said quietly as she added, "Don't care what he says about me.. Just don't think I can handle him saying anything horrible to our baby girl, ya know?"

"So if he wanted to be a part of her life.."

"If he did, AJ, he never woulda let me leave. I'm pretty damn sure even he wasn't so drunk that he didn't remember me shouting the half a dozen times that I did that I was pregnant and the baby was his, whether he liked it or not." Jessica said as AJ thought it over a moment then said quietly, " Dean's not.. He's not like normal people.. I mean I've been friends with Seth and Roman long enough now to realize that he sometimes chooses to selectively forget things.. And if he was as messed up as Seth tells me he was while you guys were on the roster, there's no telling what was in his system the night you told him."

Jessica quirked a brow, thought about it. He had been acting more than a little off, like he was on something that night. But then again, as AJ said, he wasn't exactly a rational guy under normal terms either.

"I need to tell him. But I don't want Cloe there when I do, just in case." she muttered quietly, as she froze, watching the screen, watching the man she still loved more than anything get tossed around the ring like he was.

"I only THOUGHT I hated Danielson before. Look at that smirk, he's doing this on purpose, damn it." Jessica fumed, angry.

The match ended and Dean limped up the ramp, towards the back. He noticed that for once, the makeup room light was on. So he walked to the window, peeked in.

His eyes settled on the little pigtailed blonde wearing a Halloween tutu, striped leggings and a Shield t shirt and he couldn't help but smirk a little. 'Go in there. She's obviously not gonna come to you, man. Ya did enough shit back then to prevent that. Ya never treated her like she deserved, ya know it, deep down. The only reason she took ya kid and ran, Jon, is because ya put her in that position, made her choose. No woman who's gonna be worth a shit as a mom's gonna let her kid grow up in the shit ya two were doing to each other.'

'She still left. At the end of the day, Jon, she told ya she wouldn't and she fuckin did.. With a kid she never thought once about tellin ya about.'

'If you think about it, Jon, can ya really say ya blame her? And ya know she TRIED to tell ya somethin all night that night. Think about it, man. She never woulda just not said anything about the kid.'

'wanna bet?'

He growled to himself and muttered quietly, "Fuck it. Gonna go in, see what happens." as he stepped into the door, stood there a moment, watching her watch the replay of the match. She still flinched. She still hid her face when he got hit.

Clearing his throat, he said stiffly, "Long time no see, Jessica."

Jessica froze in mid bite, the Chicken McNugget in mid journey to her plump pink lips as she turned and all the color consequently drained from her face. AJ coughed. Was she just imagining it, or did it go from feeling pleasant in the room to almost like a sauna? She looked from Dean to Jessica and then said quietly, "I'm gonna go.. If you need me, right down the hallway." before giving Dean a raised brow, clearing her throat and bending down to give her 'god daughter' a kiss on the forehead while she slept.

"I might need you, AJ." Jessica called out casually as AJ peeked back in, nodding as she held up her phone.

Dean's hand slid to the door knob, shutting the door firmly as he slid it to lock, shut the blinds. "So, ya just not gonna try and at least find me? I'd think it was the least ya could do, considering ya left."

"Funny, I didn't think you'd miss me, what with trying to convince yourself and everyone else in the room that I was fucking Nick Gage, Jon."

He sighed as he looked at his hands, then at Cloe, then at her. "4 fuckin years, Jessica."

"Yes, Jon, I realize this." Jessica said quietly, looking up at him, trying to read his emotions by the way his eyes looked. She blinked when she looked into them, realized that below all the anger, he looked hurt more than anything.

"Nothin to say, Jessi?"

"Plenty to say, just not sure how." she muttered quietly, her eyes getting lost in his, biting her lip, tasting the slight copper of blood as she bit down too hard, nervous as hell currently.

"Ya can start with where the fuck ya went.. And why the fuck ya just walked away." Dean said calmly as he moved closer, grabbing a napkin, holding it to her lip. Which only served to piss him off, really.. As beyond furious as he was with her right now, he still couldn't cut off the damn reflexes, the protective urges where she was concerned.

"Why do I get the feeling you've been waiting to do this?" she asked quietly, stepping back a little, not sure whether he was blackout angry or just mean angry. He'd been blackout angry a few times when they were dating it'd scared her because it reminded her of her own father, what she'd had to endure. It'd been another reason that she'd walked away when she found out she was pregnant. She just needed time, she needed to know if he'd ever be okay, if she'd ever be okay.

"Because, Jessica.. Been plannin this since I talked to Hunter about ya workin here. He asked if anyone knew a good stage makeup person, ya name came up." Dean shrugged, smirking a little as he stepped forward again, his hand going to her chin, his finger on her lower lip.

"You got me hired?" she asked, blinking, confused now.. Why go to all the trouble to get her hired on at the same company as he was working on?

Dean shrugged and then asked quietly, "Still waitin."

She saw his gaze resting on their little girl and she sighed quietly as she said "I told you about her, you know.. The night I left. You called me every damn name under the sun, you told me she wasn't yours, you even told me you didn't want kids, demanded some other things. Granted, you were pretty fucked up that night, we had been fighting a lot.."

He searched his mind, trying to remember if she'd told him back then, he came up blank. He growled as he grabbed her wrist and said "Ya fuckin lyin."

"No, Jon, actually, I'm not." she muttered as she dug through her makeup case, thrust an envelope at him. He looked at it, groaned when he saw his home address, her home address and then the postage marking Return To Sender.

"Moved to Tampa after you left. Kinda figured if ya were gone, might as well fuckin move on." Dean muttered as he looked at her, her nodding as she said " I went to California. Still didn't escape you."

He laughed hollowly as he looked at her, then at the little girl, sleeping.

"Aren't you even gonna read the damn thing?" she asked stiffly as she bit her thumb, stood with her arms crossed, watching him.

He opened the letter, started to read, eyes moving over her loopy graceful handwriting as he blinked and looked up. "So ya think this is gonna just fix it?"

Jessica shrugged and said quietly, "You know now. You probably knew all along, for all I know, just didn't care one way or another."

"Ya gotta believe me.. I was messed up that night.. I didn't remember anything, still don't."

"Just trust me, Jon.. You don't wanna. I've had to live with it. Look, you know now. Not expecting a damn thing from you." Jessica said quietly as she looked at him, sighed to herself.

Damn it, even now, even with everything he'd said when she did attempt to tell him, convince him that the baby she was pregnant with was his ringing in her ears, she still couldn't hate him. She still couldn't fight the urge to lean in, bury her face in his chest.

He looked at her, brow raised, "That all ya think of me? That I'd be worried ya expected something?"

Jessica shrugged as she said quietly, "Whatever you do now is totally up to you. I'm not gonna fight you on it, you have every right to hate me, I did leave after I swore to you I wouldn't. But before you say anything about me leaving.. Think for a minute Jon, think about all of the shit you put me through, all the crap you told me and then didn't follow through with. The things you couldn't say, but I didn't let get to me."

He winced as he looked at her, then bit his lower lip, pacing, angry with himself, angry with her, angry with this situation. Because he'd had almost 2 weeks or better now, he still couldn't bring himself to try even getting his head around being a father. Now that the proof was there, the truth was out, nothing was clicking, he was still half afraid he'd completely fuck this up, fail his kid somehow.

And it hurt him that she wasn't fighting for them, she wasn't trying every trick in the book to make him stay, trap him in something he wasn't entirely sure yet if he wanted or not.

What the hell happened to her while she'd been gone, away from him?

Cloe stirred on the pallet she slept on in the floor and sat up, rubbing her eyes, looking around.. She'd started watching professional wrestling because she'd once overheard her mommy saying that her daddy, a man she only knew from old pictures around their beach house, a man she knew now was Dean Ambrose, was a wrestler.

She'd heard him talking enough by this point, through watching the show, to know the sound of the man's voice.

"Da?" she asked, fixing her eyes on Dean Ambrose.

Dean stopped moving, looked from Jessica to the little girl as he asked quietly, "Ya told her about me?"

"Why the fuck wouldn't I? Even if we weren't together, Jon, she deserved to know something." Jessica muttered as she walked to the back of the room, mostly to sit and think about everything, let herself have a complete and total mental breakdown, like she was on the verge of doing right now.

He watched her walking to the back, then he looked at the little girl who now stood clumsily, smiling. "Did ya get my picture?"

Dean chuckled. The black and purple cat picture Randy gave 'em and said that she'd colored for them, it was a 'lucky kitty'. "Yeah, I got it. So ya mommy.. She told ya about me?"

"Mhmm.. I heared her talkin to my aunt when I was playin and she sat me down and told me. She didn't know ya was on here, but I did." Cloe said as she looked up shyly.

Dean bent, picking the little girl up as he said quietly, "Not so good at this."

"It okay."

"So ya watch the show a lot?" he asked, looking at her. She looked so much like him, he'd have to be an idiot to think she wasn't his. And he thought back a little to the night she left, remembered a few bits and pieces of their fight. She had said something about not just thinking about herself anymore, not just worrying about herself anymore where he was concerned.

"Mhmm." Cloe said as she asked, "You otay?"

"Yeah, I'm just.." he muttered as Jessica stepped into the room and Cloe gave him a tight hug then said with a smile, "Maybe mommy let me come see ya." before climbing down his body, walking clumsily to her mom. She'd also heard her mommy telling her aunt that her daddy might not want to be one, when she'd overheard who he was.. So she wasn't sure whether to force herself on him or not and in some ways, Cloe was just as scared of him, as he was of her.

"I'm gonna go, I need to.."

"Think, yeah, I get it." Jessica said as she bit her lower lip and added quietly, "If it helps.. The last 4 years were hell on Earth. Not that it matters to you. You probably didn't even realize I was gone."

He gave her a bitter look and muttered stiffly, "ya fuckin think ya know me.. ya fuckin don't, Jessica." before looking one more time at his daughter, turning to walk out. Everything that'd just happened hit him like a ton of bricks the second he was out of the office door and when he was sitting in the locker room, lost in thought, he realized just how much it hurt that she wasn't fighting for them. That she'd given up. That she was perfectly willing to accept whatever hatred he threw her way.

And then he realized just how much he really did want to fix things.. But yet and still.. Could things actually be fixed? And could they be okay this time? Could he trust himself not to completely fuck this up?

He growled as he saw Orton walking into the makeup room just as he stepped back inside, muttered to himself, "This means war, Orton, ya fuckin fucker."

He knew what he wanted to do now, sort of.. The question was.. Could he actually do it?