In moments when I feel overwhelmed, I find myself thinking about the days leading up to my sudden departure from the wizarding world. So when Ron comes barging into my apartment as Harry's lips are pressed against my neck, I naturally block out what's going on around me and think about my final days of glory.
The rain was coming down in sheets and I felt the weight of the world bearing down on me. Today was the day I had to do it. Ron had to know what happened. I took careful steps in silently preparing my bags, packing them with the aid of the muffliato charm, which put a slight buzzing in Ron's ears so he couldn't hear me thumping around. I tossed everything I could into one of my bags by using an undetectable extension charm on it. After shoving everything I possibly could into the trunk, I threw my invisibility cloak over it and walked out of the bedroom into the sitting area, silently lifting the charm.
"Hey, Hermione," Ron looked up from his cooking and smiled. "So I couldn't help but noticed you put the muffliato charm on me. Mind telling me why?" He asked me politely, and my heart breaks. I have to tell him.
"Ron, I don't want to be the complete picture of a cliché, but maybe you should sit down for a little bit?" I worded it as a question, but Ron knew better than you argue. He moved to our living room and I followed, cleaning the kitchen with a sweep of my wand. The pots scrubbed themselves and went up to dry and the noodles he had worked so hard to cook were on a plate wrapped in foil.
I reached the couch where Ron was sitting, and went to the chair, choosing very delicately not to sit next to him. My heart was slamming against my ribcage and my palms were sweating furiously. I pressed my hands together, praying that I could get these next three words out.
"Ron," I started, pulling in another deep breath. I had to be hyperventilating. That couldn't be good for the baby. Maybe I should tell him tomorrow.
"Is this about the dinner tonight? Because I swear if you complain that all I make is pasta rigatoni, I will break up with you right now." Ron says, the corners of his mouth bending upwards into a smile.
I shake my head, looking at the carpet, realizing that I never really liked this color. "No, Ron, it's not about the pasta." A tear leaks out of my eye and soon I'm sobbing.
"Hermione, sweetheart, what's wrong? Please just tell me what it is. It can't be so incredibly awful that you can't tell me. You can tell me anything." He wraps his arms around me, and rubs my back with his hand softly, which annoys me to no end. Now is not the time for this, now is the time to tell him.
"Okay, Ron," I hesitate as if I am avoiding jumping into cold water on a cloudy day. "Ron, I'm preg-I'm pregnant," I finally choke out the words between sobs.
Ron rubs his ears, checking to see if they have wax in them and he just misheard. "You're what? I'm sorry I think I heard wrong love. I thought you just said you were pregnant." He smiles and looks at me, expecting me to refute what he just said, but I just bury my head in my hands and cry harder.
After minutes that seemed to last as long as hours, I look up at him, wiping my eyes. Ron looks pale, even his freckles seem to have lighted by a few shades.
"Ron?" I sputter, waiting for him to move. "Ron? Ron!" I get up and shake him, trying to get his attention. "Ron! What do you have to say about this?" I look at him, waiting for an answer that will never come.
Finally, he speaks. He's so quiet that I have to ask myself if he is actually talking, or if it's just my imagination going wild. But, no, he's repeating himself, only louder this time. "Is it mine?" He asks, staring blankly into my eyes.
Fury like nothing I have felt before rises inside of me. It's white-hot tongue licks my intestines and crawls up my throat. "Of COURSE it's yours!" I yell, hitting my head with my open palm as hard as I can. "What? Do you think I'm some kind of slut, sleeping around on you? Ron, we are living together, that's a pretty serious commitment. We've been together since the fall of Voldemort nearly a year ago. OF COURSE IT'S YOURS! How dare you ask me that!" I am in a blind rage, literally seeing spots when Ron says something worse.
"Jeez, jeez, calm down!" He mutters, and then it happens. "So, you're going to get rid of it. When should I pick you up from the healer's? I mean you can't apparate for a few days after." He looks at me expectantly, waiting for a reply.
It's as if a pin dropped, the silence is so overwhelming. My brain went from over-drive to barely functioning in seconds. Here I was, sitting here on my couch, telling my boyfriend that I was prego, and he was telling me that I needed to have an abortion, like I was throwing out a piece of trash. The world slowed for a moment when he said that, until I caught up with what had just happened.
"I'm not getting rid of it, Ron." I told him quietly. "You might not want this baby, but I do. He or she is half mine, and growing inside of me." I look at him, waiting for his reply, when suddenly I know what I have to do. "I'm leaving you, Ron." I tell him, summoning my bag and invisibility cloak. In this moment, I am not thinking of my past, but instead I think of my baby. I don't feel sad, just really mad. And hopeful for my future with my baby.
Ron looked away from his hands and his eyes flash with anger. "Oh, what, so you planned it like this? You knew that once you told me, you would leave? Well fuck you, Hermione! Fuck you for doing this!" He slammed his fist down on the coffee table and it left little spider webs stemming from where his fist hit.
"This, Ron, is why I packed my bags. To be on the safe side. Apparently I overestimated your ability to act like a grown up in adult situations. Shame on me, Ron. Shame on me." I picked my bag up and walked out of Ron's door, and out of his life, without so much as a cursory glance back.
Now, as Ron walks in on the first tender moment I've shared with any man in at least 18 months, I feel that I'm going to re-live those last few moments with Ron all over again. The fight, the drama, the tears, they're all going to be repeated.
As the door opens, Harry pulls his lips from my neck and mutters, "Shit," under his breath. I move my body closer to him, and grab his hand, giving it a quick squeeze, before I let it go.
"What are you two doing?" Ron asks suspiciously, eyeing my guilty look. Apparently not event here years could change his ability to read my expression. "Why do you look so guilty, Hermione?" He shifts is gaze to Harry.
"Man, you're being paranoid. Just calm down. Nothing's going on." Harry shrugs and moves to the refrigerator. "Hermione do you have anything to eat?" He changes the subject just a little too quickly, which Ron notices quickly.
"What the hell did you two do?" He accuses angrily.
"Ron, calm down. We didn't do anything," I tell him, walking into the kitchen and opening some cabinets. "Harry, we have some spinach and jalapeño dip if you'd like that. I can cut up some bread and toast it if you want." I open a baguette and start slicing the bread.
"You two slept together!" His tone is cold and hard.
Harry closes the door to the fridge and takes a deep breath while I stand there with my mouth hanging open.
"Wh – wh –why? Why would you jump to that conclusion?" I sputter, still aghast that he figured it out so quickly.
"You're after-sex food is spinach and jalapeno dip! You crave it! Don't lie to me, I know that it's true Hermione. You might think I'm stupid, but I am not an idiot." Ron gives me his best I-know-what-you-did-so-don't-lie-to-me look, before turning to Harry. "Really, Harry? Really? You've seen her for two seconds and you're already in bed with her? If there were a male word for slut, you would be it. And Hermione, you have a baby! With me! Where is Delila?" Ron's eyes flashed dangerously.
"She's with the sitter! Don't you call me a bad mom when you are worse; you are an absentee dad! That's so much worse than what I did." I slam the knife into the cutting board and it lands point down, standing straight up.
"Fine, we are both guilty of something. We both made mistakes, but that's part of life. So, I can't speak to what you do since you're a big girl, but I can make my own steps to correcting my mistakes. Hermione, I want visitation rights for Lila, and I want to take her for the weekend?" His voice goes up at the end of his sentence, so I'm guessing this is as close to a request that I will get from Ron. I'm shocked that he changed his mind so quickly, but he has always been the unpredictable type.
I'm torn, on one hand, Ron has never even spent a day with her by himself, so I don't know if he could take a weekend filled with naps, bedtimes, and outings. On the other hand, it's clear that he wants to be a part of her life and he deserves it, if that's what he wants. And, with Malfoy and the rest of the old Death Eaters after us, Ron would be a better guard than myself. I'm still trying to recover all of my magic after three years and I am rusty. Granted, I am still pretty damn good, but Ron has better instincts than me at the moment.
"Fine, Ron. I would love to have you look after her this weekend. She is undoubtedly safer with you than me right now, with the Death Eaters after us. But just so you know, she's a pill. Don't expect this to be easy." I smile slightly, feeling glad that Delila will have a chance to spend time with her father, while I have a chance to spend time with her father's best friend. God, that sounds bad! Oh well, it's the truth.
Ron nods solemnly. "I understand. I'll apparate if I have any problems. Thanks, Hermione." Ron walks over to me for the first time since the argument started and hugs me. "I know this isn't easy," he whispers to me.
"Just know that if she even scrapes her knee, I will kill you," I whisper back, only slightly exaggerating. I hear Ron chuckle nervously. "Okay!" I say, pulling away from him and grabbing his shoulders with my hands. "Let's go get Delila!"
I grab her overnight bag, handing it to Ron who buckles with the weight. "Get used to it, soldier!" I laugh and lead the way to pick up my baby with Harry at my side and Ron bringing up the rear.
Hello all! So...what did you think? Some of you are probably wondering where the action is going to come in, and I promise the next chapter or two will be action packed, and full of twists and turns. Please let me know if you think its good, bad or ugly and leave me a review! To my few loyal readers/reviewers, thank you! I love getting feedback, so hit that blue button and tell me what you think