A/N: Hello all! I have gotten such an amazing response to this story that I just had to update again. Special thanks to all those who have reviewed: wilms29, liz324, lauren007, 4mykids3, Mandydaniels, blueeyesgirl, greengirl82, sexyoreo6692, forever babe, Liz, MildlyPsychotic, soapdemon34, palmbeach, jb, ccginel, HK, Texas-Devil-Or-Angel, Loving Hidan, asiangal, SHAUN, robinscorpiofan, arses21, lauren007, SamMorgan-Cassidine, sweetkrakes, and The California Dreamer. They definitely motivate me to write and update more... well, on to the story, enjoy!
Lies That Bind and Freeing Truths
"The worst lies are the lies we tell ourselves. We live in denial of what we do, even what we think. We do this because we're afraid. We fear we will not find love, and when we find it we fear we'll lose it. We fear that if we do not have love we will be unhappy." ~Richard Bach
It had been a week since the slumbering brunette had awakened and she was already feeling stir crazy. She understood her injuries had been severe but she felt great now and couldn't wait to get out of the confines of the hospital room; although she knew she'd have to come back often for checkups. She sighed deeply as she looked out the window, her hand finding its way to her pregnant stomach.
She was told after she had time to digest the news of being a pregnant amnesiac that her pregnancy would most likely not be an easy one. Apparently somewhere along the road of her life she'd suffered trauma to her uterus, causing scaring, and as the baby grew bigger it would likely be a problem. They'd also informed her that she had a weak cervix and had to undergo a procedure to have it sewn shut to prevent the chance of miscarriage. It was a lot to take in but somehow she knew in her heart she had dreamt of being a mother and she had every intention to make that dream a reality.
"Samantha," the nurse called out to her patient as she entered the room. "Samantha… Samantha."
"Oh I'm sorry," the brunette shook her head before turning around. "I guess I'm just getting used to that being my name." She picked up the broken necklace that she'd been brought in with from the bedside table. "It seems so formal; so unlike me." She shook her head solemnly. "As if I even know who I am," she rolled her eyes at the thought.
The cheery brunette smiled as she stepped further inside. "Perhaps they called you Sami."
"I don't know April," she walked over to the mirror to look at herself. "Sami," she whispered, trying it out. "Sami… hi I'm Sami." She scrunched her face, not quite sure that the name felt any less foreign. "I'm Sam-i… I'm Sam," a smile seemed to form on her face of its own accord. "Sam; hey, I'm Sam." She nodded with a smile. "I like it."
"Well than Sam it is," April replied with a firm nod. "I think it fits."
"It feels natural," Sam paused briefly. "It feels like me," she shrugged. "Now if I could only remember who exactly me is."
"I think I can help with that," a female voice came from the doorway. "I've been looking for you everywhere."
"I'm sorry," the brunette stared at the redhead hovering in the doorway. "Do I know you?"
"Of course you do silly," a smirk graced the newcomer's features. "I'm your sister."
Jason tossed his leather jacket across the couch the moment he stepped inside. He'd just come from another trip, this one taking three days, tracking down a lead on Jerry that turned out to be a dead end. He knew he had an organization to run and that he should be focusing on that but his quest to make Jerry Jack's pay for Sam's death had become his reason for getting up in the morning; it had become his primary focus in life. Ironically it was Sonny who'd stepped up to help him and Jason was glad that their friendship was taking steps, albeit small, to be repaired.
Jason immediately headed to the fridge, grabbing one of the beers he kept there before making his way to the sofa and sitting down. He looked over to the picture of her and her sister's, happy to be amongst her things again. Just as he was getting ready to reach for it, he felt another presence in the condo; standing up and reaching for his gun, he whipped around and was faced with the startled eyes of Alexis Davis.
"Ja-Jason," she stuttered. "What are you doing here?" Her eyes studied him pryingly.
He returned the gun to its concealed spot. "I come here sometimes to feel close…" he trailed off, no longer wanting to finish the sentence. "What are you doing here?"
"I thought it was time to start packing away some of her things," Alexis looked more relaxed now that the gun was no longer out, her posture straightening. "I thought I'd take something for Kristina and Molly and myself and then give the rest to charity," she explained. "And also, I thought Maxie may want something or Lucky or perhaps Spinelli too; and if you'd like anything I'd be happy to leave it for you."
"Leave it all," he said firmly, unable to grasp the thought of her things going to strangers.
"Jason," Alexis sighed as she stepped closer to him. "I know how hard it is to think about getting rid of Sam's things, it's why I've taken so long to start this but these things are not her Jason; they're not Sam." Her eyes looked up at him sympathetically, her own grief evident within them. "Just because we're letting go of her things doesn't mean we're letting go of Sam; she will always be with us." She swallowed as she felt the sting of tears in her eyes, clearing her throat as she forced them back. "I still have to decide what I'm going to do with this place."
"This place," he repeated. "You want to sell Sam's condo," he shook his head as if it were out of the question. "The place she was so proud of getting all on her own; the first place she owned."
"I can't just hold on to it indefinitely with all her belongings like some sort of shrine," Alexis shook her head. "And she left no will so everything goes to her next of kin which unfortunately means it's my responsibility to take care of things and sell…"
"How much?" Jason cut her off, crossing his arms over his chest.
The lawyer peered at him curiously. "Excuse me?"
"You heard me, how much?" Jason paused briefly, reaching up to scratch his cheek out of habit. "You want to sell right, so how much for all of it; the condo, the furniture, her clothes… all of it?"
"Maybe I should give you more time to get used to this," Alexis sighed heavily, reaching for her purse before watching as he intently stared off at the picture of Sam on the table. "Jason, I know that you and I have never been the best of friends," she watched him turn his penetrating gaze on her as he scoffed. "I guess that's an understatement. Look, I know there was a time when you and my daughter meant everything to each other. She loved you very much and I can see how much her passing has affected you so you obviously still cared for her."
"Is there a point to this Alexis," he quipped.
"The point is Jason this town isn't that big; I've heard things and I've seen a change in you since her death and I don't think it's for the better," she exhaled deeply. "For whatever reason despite what happened between the two of you, Sam cared about you; she had some unwavering faith in you," from her tone, it was obvious she didn't comprehend how her daughter still believed in the man standing before her so fiercely.
"And you think I let that faith down; that I let her down," Jason surmised, "by not saving her from Jerry."
"No," Alexis shook her head solemnly. "I think you're letting her down now by wasting your life stuck in the bottom of liquor bottles." She sighed deeply. "Prove my daughter's faith in you was right, hell even do it to prove me wrong just… just do what Sam would want you to do. Be the man she knew you to be." She offered him a small smile. "I have to go." She turned to walk away.
"Alexis," Jason called out just as she opened the door, waiting for her to turn back to face him before uttering the word neither of them ever thought he'd say to her, "Thanks." He paused for a moment. "I would still like to buy the condo."
She nodded. "You're welcome and I'll get back to you." She offered him another small smile before leaving.
Jason stared down at Sam's picture again, Alexis' words reverberating in his mind. He reached of his cell phone and dialed a familiar number. "Hey it's me," he said as soon as a female voice picked up. "I know its short notice but I need to talk to you… I can be there in fifteen." He shut his phone before picking up the untouched beer bottle, pouring the frothy liquid down the sink. Jason looked around the empty apartment, still feeling her presence. "Thanks Sam," he said softly before hurrying out the door.
"I'm sorry, my what?" Sam stared at the red head suspiciously, feeling anything but sisterly warmth when she looked at the woman in front of her. "You're not my sister."
"Of course I am," she forced a small smile. "Sam, you have to remember me: Amelia."
"I don't… I don't remember much of anything," Sam answered honestly.
"But you do remember your name is Sam, I heard the nurse using it. Your name is Samantha in fact," Amelia said as she stepped further inside the room. "I know this is probably overwhelming for you but…" she trailed off, forcing emotion into her voice easily after years of perfecting the act of lying. "I thought my little sister was gone and now here you are and you're pregnant. This is a miracle." She turned to the nurse, "Can you leave us along for a few minutes please?"
"It's okay April," Sam said when she saw the apprehension on the woman's face. "Thank you."
"I'll check in with you later," April replied before leaving the room, closing the door behind her.
"Sam" Amelia stepped forward with outstretched arms the minute they were alone.
"Wait," the brunette held her hand up. "Can we hold off on the hugging or whatever? I'm not really comfortable with that yet."
"Of course," the red head smiled again. "This must be strange for you but I am so glad I found you."
"I'm just a little wary here," she found herself walking back instinctively. "I mean I've been here for almost four months and then you just show up," Sam placed a hand over her stomach protectively. "I mean, where have you been all this time? Where has my family been? Where is Jason?" She threw the last question out just to gage the other woman's reaction.
"Ja-Jason?" Amelia paled. "What-what do you remember about Jason?" She tried to keep her composure.
"Mostly his eyes," she answered, unsure of how much she should divulge to the woman who was essentially a perfect stranger.
"He did have the most incredible blue eyes," Amelia agreed, the wheels of her mind already turning deviously.
"Did?" Sam repeated with a querying look.
"What else do you remember about him?" Amelia asked as if she hadn't heard the brunette's question.
"Not much," she shook her head, being as close to honest as she felt comfortable with. "I can't really explain it but I feel like he's connected to this baby," she rubbed her protruding belly. "Is he my boyfriend; husband?"
Amelia shook her head no. "He is connected to the baby though." She smiled at the other woman in an almost cocky manner. "It really is a miracle you're pregnant; we, you and I, weren't sure the implantation had worked."
"Implantation?" Sam quirked an eyebrow at the woman whose smile was making her skin crawl.
"Yes, the In Vitro Fertilization," she answered before motioning to the bed. "Maybe we should sit down for this," she suggested as she sat down near the foot of the bed.
Sam warily made her way around the bed, sitting as far away from the woman as she could by sitting at the head. "Go ahead."
"I had some fertility issues, actually we both did and we sort of bonded over that," she paused briefly, "but even with the risk you offered to give me what I wanted most." Her eyes drifted down to the other woman's stomach.
The brunette shook her head disbelievingly. "I don't- I don't understand what you mean." She could already feel the sting of the tears building in her eyes.
"What I mean is you are the absolute best sister any one could have," she paused dramatically, hanging her head in mock sadness. "You are right though about Jason though, he is connected to that baby. He was… he's my deceased husband and the father of that baby."
"Excuse me?" Sam jerked back when Amelia's hand moved towards her stomach.
"The baby you're carrying is mine," Amelia said with a watery smile, "mine and Jason's."
"I HAVE NEVER LOVED ANYONE AS MUCH AS I LOVE YOU AND I NEVER WILL!" His words reverberated through her mind as Sam jumped up. "You're a liar!" she yelled.
"Sam," Amelia stood up as well, reaching a hand towards her.
"You stay the hell away from me," Sam practically leapt over the bed to put a barrier between her child and the obviously crazy woman in front of her. "I don't know who the hell you are lady but you are not my sister and you are not taking my baby. I will kill you first," she seethed. "Now get out, go crawl back to whatever hell you crawled out of!"
"If I could just explain," she said desperately, knowing she'd pushed the woman in front of her too far, too soon.
"Get out! GET OUT! GET OUT! GET OUT!" Sam bellowed before a piercing pain shot through her stomach. "NO," she cried out as she clutched her abdomen, holding her other arm out as the red head advanced towards her. "Stay away from me you bitch!"
"Please Sam," Amelia continued to step forward, albeit slowly. "Let me help you for the baby's sake."
"GET OUT!" Sam screamed as she doubled over in pain, sinking to the floor as tears streamed down her face.
"What's going on in here," Dr. Campaña rushed in, turning back to give the brunette nurse who came in behind him a nod. "Samantha," he stepped forward, helping his patient into bed before turning harsh eyes to the other woman in the room. "You need to leave," his voice was firm as he prepared a sedative to lower Sam's blood pressure.
"I was just trying to explain to my sister…" Amelia began but was cut off by the doctor's hard look.
"I don't care who you are or what you were trying to explain," His usually kind eyes were hardened, "right now you are upsetting my patient and I need you to go. My nurse has already gone to notify security so I suggest you leave now before they arrive."
"Very well," she grabbed her purse, her voice sounding like a threat, "but I'll be back." Amelia quickly excited the room just as security arrived with April.
"It's okay," Dr. Campaña said soothingly, pleased his patient's blood pressure was already coming down. "She's gone." His eyes turned to the nurse. "Make sure security escorts her off the floor."
April nodded her head in compliance, "Right away Doctor."
"Thank you," Sam hugged him as her tears slowly, catching the doctor slightly off guard. "She's trying to steal my baby," she began to get drowsy. "Please don't let her steal my baby."
"I won't," he said as he stroked her chocolate locks comfortingly. "I promise."
Elizabeth scurried around her living room, collecting the toys that were haphazardly strewn across the floor and tossing the toy chest that was in the corner of the living room. She couldn't believe he'd called her but she was extremely happy that he did. She knew that he was having a rough time since Sam's death, though she still didn't understand why so many people in Port Charles seemed so distressed, and all she wanted was to comfort him in his time of need.
Rushing to the kitchen, she placed the chocolate chip cookies that had been cooling on a plate and brought them out to sit on the living room table before applying yet another thick coat of lip gloss; puckering as she took one last look in the mirror just as she heard a knock on the door. Smiling to herself she slid her hands down her crocheted sweater before hurrying to answer the door.
"Hey," Jason said as soon as she opened the door.
"Jason," Elizabeth smiled softly as she held the door open wider. "Come in," she threw her arms around him the minute he stepped inside. "How are you?"
"Okay," he patted her back awkwardly until she let go of him. "I wanted to apologize for the way I spoke to you at the…" Jason still couldn't get himself to say the word funeral, "…the other day."
"It's okay Jason," she tilted her head to the side before closing the still open door. "I know it was the grief talking. Lucky took it pretty hard too," she didn't notice him flinch at the other man's name, "but I think he's finally coming out of it. I'm glad to see you are too," she offered him a glossy smile.
"Um-thanks," he nodded.
"Yeah the boys have really helped him get through it. I wanted to bring Jake by to see you but after what you said and not returning any of my calls," she paused as she heard the agitation in her own voice, "I didn't know when would be a good time." She reached over to touch his knee, pleased that her voice sounded sweet again to her ears and surely his. "He and Cam are actually with Lucky now but I can bring him by tonight if you like, spend some time as a family."
"That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about," he reached over to take her hand and giving it a reassuring squeeze before letting it go, glad that it was no longer resting on his leg.
She smiled brightly with another tilt of her head. "Oh Jason, I'm so happy you feel that way."
"Yeah, I was talking to Alexis about Sam and I know she'd want me with Jake," he paused in remembrance of his lost love. "She always believed in my ability to be a good father."
"Yes she did," Elizabeth nodded, hoping he didn't see the falter in her smile as she heard him speak of his ex with such awe. "I know Sam and I had issues in the past but we'd become friends and the one thing we agreed on was how much Jake needs you in his life."
Jason furrowed his brows at her comment but decided to ignore it. "I know; that's why I'm here."
She smiled warmly. "I knew it; I knew if I just gave you enough time you'd be ready to be a family with me and Jake."
He shook his head. "I think you have the wrong…"
"Of course it will be an adjustment but I can have the house packed up in a couple weeks so we can gradually introduce Cam and Jake to their new home in The Penthouse," she continued on. "And I'm sure that will give Spinelli enough time to move."
"Spinelli is not moving anywhere," Jason said firmly, despite the fact for all intensive purposes the young man had been staying in Sonny's old penthouse.
Elizabeth looked a bit taken back by his tone. "I'm sorry; I just assumed he'd move out when the boys and I moved in." Suddenly her face brightened as another thought occurred to her. "Oh of course, I am so sorry Jason. I misunderstood."
Jason took a relaxed breath, pleased she'd figured it out on her own. "I'm glad you understand. This is about Jake and being a father to my son."
"And we can do that right here," she said happily, nodding her head in excitement. "You and me and the boys in the house you bought for us."
"No Elizabeth," he huffed, scratching his face out of habit. "Listen to me, this isn't about you and I; it's about me and Jake."
"I don't… I don't understand," Elizabeth looked at him blankly, pursing her overly glossed lips. "Anything about Jake is about you and me Jason."
"As his parents yes but as a couple no," he annunciated the whole sentence slowly for her, hoping it would finally sink in. "I care about you Elizabeth; we've been friends for so long and I've always admired you for your warm heart and your determination…"
"Why does this sound like you're breaking up with me," she asked in a whiny voice, feeling her heart rate speed up.
"Elizabeth," Jason paused as his crystal blue eyes meet her mousy brown. "We aren't together," he spoke the last word slowly.
She rolled her eyes. "I know that Jason but not because we don't want to be but because of the danger," she tilted her head to the side as she stared back at him. "After everything with Jake and The Russians, I know that scared you; it scared both of us and so we had to step away from each other for our son's safety but things have calmed now." Her doe eyes looked up at him imploringly. "There is nothing standing in our way anymore," she had a brief flash of Sam but ignored that thought, afterall the woman was dead. "We can finally be the family we always wanted."
Jason let out an exasperated breath, wondering if she'd always been like this and if somehow he just never realized it. "I need you to listen to what I'm saying to you," he spoke slower than normal, waiting for her to nod her head in agreement before he continued. "Sam… Sam's death affected me, a lot…"
"I know you cared about her," she interrupted.
"I loved her Elizabeth," he corrected.
She nodded. "I know you did, just like you love me and Jake now."
"NO!" he finally erupted, unable to take going round and round in circles with her any more after everything else. "I love my son Elizabeth, you are right about that but I still…" he stood up and walked over to her fireplace, his head drooping down. "I'm still in love with Sam." He turned back to face her. "I'm sorry Elizabeth," he watched as the tears filled her eyes but he knew he had to be honest with her, maybe if he had from the beginning Sam would be standing beside him right now. "But I don't love you; I never have."
"What?" Elizabeth blinked hard as huge tear drops fell from her eyes, her hands clutching themselves in her lap as she stared up at him in disbelief. "You love me Jason."
"I tried to tell myself that I did for Jake but I lied to you and I lied to myself," he shook his head disheartingly. "I could never stop loving Sam, I tried but I still..."
"Still… you're still in love with Sam? But she's gone Jason," she shook her head incredulously as her lips quivered. "She's gone…" Elizabeth stood up to reach for him, her heart breaking as he moved away from her touch.
"It doesn't matter," Jason shook his head sadly, fighting his own tears at hearing the woman he loved was never coming back. "I'm not trying to hurt you but it's always been her," he sighed deeply, "and it always will be." There was a pregnant pause before he spoke again. "I have to go."
"Jason," she whined as she watched him turn around and leave, before crumpling into a heap on the floor in sobs. "It's not true... he loves me," she cried to herself as the tears poured down her cheek. "Jason loves me... we'll be a family soon. I don't care what I have to do, I'll get him back... I will." She let out another sob before laying down on the floor.