A/N: Here is the next day update I promised!

Disclaimer: (forgot to put one of these in the last chapter so this is for chapters 3&4) I do not own Twilight or Wife Swap. I wish I did, but I don't.

Chapter 4

In which

Rose's POV

No! No! NO! This could not be happening! How had Crazy Frank found me again! And anyways, I thought we had scared him out of his wits! WHY! I looked to Alice. Why hadn't she foreseen this happening and prevented it! All I got from her was a devilish smirk.

ALICE! That little b*tch! She must have convinced him to come. I knew that she was bitter about having to be on this ridiculous show, but it was all Bella, not me! She will pay for this!

I glanced back at the camera crew where Crazy Frank was standing. I could see the drool beginning to flow from his mouth. Getting rid of a stalker once was hard enough; I didn't know how I would be able to do it again!

Alice POV

Ha! My plan had worked! I had successfully gotten Crazy Frank to come! Ha! If they thought I would go peacefully, they were wrong! Their lives will be miserable when I am gone! Not only would they have to pretend to be human for 2 weeks, but they would have to deal with Crazy Frank! Ha! Ha! Ha!

Edwards POV

I was shocked by Alice's thoughts. She was pure evil. I knew she was really mad about being on this show but I didn't expect her to go insane on us. Is it even possible for a vampire to go insane? We would have to keep close tabs on her now. For all I knew she would go all dictator on us and make us her slaves!

Edward! Everyone's emotions are crazy. Alice is … triumphant? Rose is really mad. Everyone else is in varying degrees of shock. Except Emmett, he's confused, like usual. Jasper thought.

I gave a mental laugh and tuned into Emmett's thoughts.

What the hell is going on? Why is everyone all shocked, and why did Rose scream, or yelp, whatever that noise was. And why is she glaring at Alice? Gah! I'm so confused! Why can't someone explain things to me!

This just made me want to laugh even more. The laughter must have reached my lips, because Bella gave me an odd look, but no one else seemed to notice.

"I'll tell you later love." I whispered quietly into her ear. She nodded in understanding.

The head camera man coughed. "So as I was saying, we're just going to be doing some preliminary shooting for the next few days, just to get some footage of normal life here. We want everyone to act just like they normally would."

"That sounds great!" Esme said. "Now, if anyone would like, I think the cookies that I was making are almost done!"

There was excited babble from the camera crew about the impending sweets. Bella and I quietly slipped away and went out to our cottage. It was similar the one in we had in Forks.

"So" Bella asked as soon as we were out of hearing range. "What's the dirt?"

"It was Alice who convinced Crazy Frank to come back. Now Rosalie is really mad at her and already plotting revenge." I explained. "The reason I was laughing though is because of Emmett's thoughts. He was absolutely clueless as to what was going on."

Bella laughed. It was the most beautiful sound in the world to my ears. Like the peal of many bells, in perfect harmony with each other. I warped my arms around her in a tight embrace.

"What a crazy family we have!" I said.

It made her laugh even more. The sweet sound like music to a deaf man's ears.

The next few days passed uneventfully. As asked, we continued about on our daily lives. Emmett and Jasper played video games; Jake and Renesmee watched TV together and talked on the couch. Alice and Rose went shopping a lot, mostly to avoid Crazy Frank who followed Rosalie around, drooling most of the time. I spent most of my time at the piano with Bella by my side. Now that she had her strength under control, I was trying to teach her to play piano. She was a quick learner and was working on composing a piece for Renesmee's birthday.

Emmett's POV

The days were so boring! We were supposed to be acting normally, and since we had to pretend to be human, it wasn't any fun. Having to act human all the time SUCKED!

We all had to eat food, and then cough it back up of course. We had to pretend to go to the bathroom every couple hours, blink, fidget, and all kinds of unnecessary stuff.

Worst of all, Rose went out shopping with Alice everyday to avoid Crazy Frank! It was especially boring without her!

So, when I wasn't shooting people in video games, I liked to mess around with the camera crew. Especially the three men who had called Rose hot earlier and kept trying to hit on her.

"Yeah" I bragged. "I have my own personal hunting lodge up in Canada. I have a whole big wall with all of my trophies and all the furnishings are made from the animals that I have killed."

It was sort of true, I did have a lodge in Canada, but Rose wouldn't let me decorate how I wanted, with all the trophies and stuff I had described. Something about it being gross she said. I thought that it would be cool but what Rose wants, Rose gets.

"Really?" they asked.

"Yeah, sure. I have a room with all my guns in it too, 236 total." I chuckled at this in my head, like I needed guns. I could kill anything with my bare hands.

"Wow!"They exclaimed, astounded.

"Yeah and I know how to use them all too." I added threateningly

They didn't try to hit on Rose again after that little conversation. After that I went back to playing video games with Jasper. It was a Civil War game, so of course, Jasper was a Confederate. I was a Union general, just to make him mad, and kept killing all his men. I had hacked into the game earlier and made it so that my troops could have machine guns and tanks. I totally whooped Jaspers butt. All he had was measly canons. Mwh hahahaha!

Random Camera crew guy (one of the ones that Emmett had a "talk" with)

Whoa! This family was really creepy! They were creepier than the family who thought they were pirates! (A/N this family was really on Wife Swap once. It's on YouTube. Just search Wife Swap – Baur/Fine. It's a really funny episode! Sorry for the interruption!) It wasn't anything about their life style, they were just creepy! The way they would sit and not move for what seemed like hours and then other times they would move so quickly, you could barely see them move. And then if you happened to brush up against one of them, they felt like a block of ice. Cold and hard. And their extreme beauty was unnerving. They were hard to look at sometimes.

I wondered how there could be so many gorgeous people living together. They all looked like models. I knew that the father was a surgeon. Maybe he was a plastic surgeon. That could be the reason for their extreme paleness.

Whatever the case was, I hated being around these people. They sent chills down my spine. So beautiful, yet dangerous? I think that is what my subconscious was trying to tell me.

The men were definitely dangerous, especially the big, burly one. Emmett I think his name is. 236 guns? I was definitely scared.

I can't wait to get out of this place!

A/N: he He He! Poor camera men!

Hope everyone is satisfied with the length of this chapter. It is a page longer than the rest of them. I will try to make /keep them longer in the future.

So anyways, I'm really mad because my best friend called and asked if I wanted to see Twilight with her, but I couldn't because of my stupid dance rehearsal! Grrr….

And here is a random question that I thought of last night, is there any line of longitude (the up and down ones) that is uninhabited and is just nature. I know that there are lines of latitude with no humans because of the ones entirely in oceans or Antarctica, but what about longitude?

See, like I said, totally random. You don't have to answer, but you can ponder on it if you wish. :D

PLEASE REVIEW!