Ch. 3

A Light in the Dark

It was about six months after I washed up on Destiny Island's beach and I had been staying in the small seaside shack up until then, though the others had no idea. It's not that I'd been hiding it from any of them; it's just that it had never come up. I had to admit … it was a little lonely, but I could deal. Still, that didn't stop Kairi from figuring it out. She had been curious about were I was staying, mainly because she wanted some serious one on one girl time. Plus, she had an 'ingenious' plan to throw a little 7 minutes in heaven party, trying to get me closer to Riku.

"It'd be so fun!" she said, throwing up her arms. I shook my head, "It'd be best if you didn't." She rolled her eyes, "Why?" I sighed. She was surprisingly stubborn. The sky was growing dark as Riku and Sora untied the canoes from the deck, getting ready to head back to home base. Kairi turned when Sora called for her. I took my chance and turned to walk down the beach. I had done it before. They would leave and I'd simply tell them that I wanted to take one last walk on the beach before heading home. This time was no different … that was what I thought anyways.

I opened the door to the sea side shack. My little shack was no more than sand and wooden walls, with a wood stair case at the back. I looked at the cot that I had placed to the right side of the shack. A couple days after my arrival at the islands I had managed to get Kairi to lend me her canoe for a day while she was at the beach. That day I had gotten the cot that was now sitting in the corner of the seaside shack, which, luckily, people never really used anymore. I layed down on the cot, letting the soreness from my practice match with Sora release from my muscles. My eyes wandered over my makeshift home. It was barely lit by the pale light of the moon shining in through the spaces between the wooden planks of the wall. Then, feeling strangely content, I closed my eyes, letting myself drift of slightly. That's when I heard Riku's voice, "What are you doing?"

I opened my eyes and sat up as quickly as possible. Riku, Sora, and Kairi were standing at the door of the seaside shack, staring at me as if I were something foreign. I cocked my head, "What is it?" Riku looked like he was going to say something as he took a small step forward but Kairi started ranting before he could get a single word in, "What are you doing? You haven't been sleeping out here have you?" I nodded, "Yeah … so?" She rolled her eyes and Sora stepped up, "So?! You've been sleeping out here, with no heating and you just say 'so'?"

I nervously glanced at Riku who had a strange look on his face; one that didn't match the appalled look on Sora and Kairi's faces, one that I couldn't quite put my finger on. Kairi suddenly stepped in front of me, blocking Riku from view, "Well, this is the end of that. You started a new life here, and now we are making you start all over again." I quirked an eyebrow, "What do you mean?" Sora peeked at me over her shoulder, "You're staying with Riku!"

I heard a surprised gasp come from behind them and Sora simply looked back at Riku, "She can't stay with me; there's barely enough room for Kairi and me in my apartment." I looked down, staring at a small paupu fruit that I had drawn on the cot's white sheet, shocked by the idea of sharing a house with Riku. I heard soft footsteps coming toward me as I spoke, "It's okay, I'm perfectly fine with staying out here." A small sigh made my eyes shoot up. Riku was looking down at me with that same expression on his face, "No … I have an extra room at my house … you can stay there."

I remember staring into his eyes and feeling as if I had been hypnotized. I just nodded. That was the first night I had spent with him. We sat in his guest bedroom, which he now said was mine, and we simply talked. He asked me what it was like to try to look back at old memories and have nothing to remember. I told him that it was like gazing into a dark ocean and trying to find fish; everything was black and I knew that the memories were there, I just couldn't see them.

He asked if I actually wanted to take one last walk on the beach every night or if I was just trying to hide the fact that I had been staying in the sea side shack. "I wasn't trying to hide anything." I replied, smiling, "My first night on the islands I wanted to take a little walk before I headed back to home base, but then it got too dark, and I got lost. I eventually found my way to the shack and just fell asleep there. Afterwards, I just decided to stay there."

He suddenly looked like he had a great idea … I swear I could see the light go on just above his head. He stood and walked over to the closet. When he opened it I was able to peek around him. The closet was pretty much empty, save for a couple hangers on the small rail that went across the top of the closet. He leaned down to retrieve a big, spotlight-sized flashlight. He turned to me, "If you want to walk on the beach again, I'll light this flashlight from that deck," he paused to point at the deck for a second, which was across the room from the bed, "to make sure you don't get lost … you can just follow it." I smiled at him. He did so much to help his friends.

I couldn't stop my grin from growing as a thought crossed my mind, "Only if you promise to help me light my way through my dark memories." At that moment, I also promised myself that I would be his light … after all, he had such a dark, painful past. Thinking about it now, I admit that it's a little cheesy, but I honestly wanted him to be the one to help me get my memories back. He looked surprised for a moment, but that faint Riku smile made its way back across his face and he nodded.

"Hika!" Riku's voice broke through my thoughts, interrupting the memory of my first night at his house and I looked up to my deck, waving at him when I saw him. I docked the boat, letting Makodo jump out ahead of me. He ran to the white door and scratched it, pretty much begging to get in. I walked into the house before I even realized it.

I still had Riku's blade in my hand. I turned to Makodo and held it out to him. Normally, he would have taken it. This time, he simply sat there. I heard Riku call down the stairs as he headed to the living room where I stood, "Hika! Is it cold out there?" I went into a small panic as Makodo suddenly started barking excitedly, running up the stairs. Crap. What was I going to do? He was about to come down stairs and see me with his sword, completely tired, and a little beat up. Only now did that last bit cross my mind, and now that it did, the sting of all the tiny scratches set in.

I winced, and just at that moment Riku appeared at the bottom of the stair case, wearing his light blue and white PJ's and looking totally shocked. He rushed to me, the expression on his face just about as panicked as I felt, "What happened?" I shook my head, trying to clear it, "Well … I jus-" "Is that my keyblade?" he interrupted, "What are you … hold on …" he paused, appearing as though something in his head were clicking into place, "you … you weren't fighting those things, were you?" "Well, I … wait you know they're here." He hesitated, appearing as though he were at a loss for words, "I …"

Riku didn't finish. He just sort of … stood there, his face worried and confused as Makodo brushed his head against Riku's hand. I myself didn't know what to say. I mean, how was I supposed to explain this to him? And, what's more, he already knew about the creatures. I had so many questions. How did he know? Had he fought them before? What are they? Before I knew it, I was completely zoned out as I tried, and failed, to organize my thoughts.

The only thing that brought me back to earth was something brushing lightly against one of the bruises left over from the fight. I flinched, and looked down at it only to see Riku's hand pulling away slightly. I looked back up at him. His expression was the same as the one he wore the night he'd found out that I had been staying the sea side shack. I don't know why, but something in my chest twisted. Guilt. Crap. "Look," I sighed, "I knew they were coming after you so I just …" My voice trailed off when I saw the look of confusion spread across his face, "But, they were after you." I rolled eyes, "Then why would they try to get into your room?" His eyes widened, "Wait … what?" "Why do you think I've been fighting them off?"

"Well, I …" he stopped, stepping closer to me, "… you have been fighting them? For me?" Only now did I realize exactly how close he was getting. I don't think he was doing it intentionally, in fact, I don't think he even realized he was doing it. But now I was cornered, my back against the wall. I didn't really know how to tell him, but it's not like I was uncomfortable, I just wasn't used to it. My face heated as I blushed uncontrollably. Now, it looked like he was noticing as well. He retreated, looking nervous and slightly embarrassed as his porcelain cheeks dusted over with light pink, "I … I'm sorry. I didn't mean to …" Again, his voice trailed off as he his eyes shifted to the ground.

I shook my head, don't read too much into it, you idiot. He wants Kairi, not you! Focus on the matter at hand. I looked back at him, leaning over to force him to look me in the eye, "Well, there's no reason to dwell on who they're after. The fact that they are here and we don't know what they are should be what we focus on." He glanced up at me, dazed for a second, then nodded. Makodo whimpered as he walked over to me, his claws clicking on the black and white linoleum floor. I smiled, bending over to kiss him on the top of the head as I handed him Riku's blade, "Good boy." When I looked back at Riku he looked stunned for a second before slightly shaking his head, "I don't know anything about them but …" For some reason my heart sped up, I ignored it, urging him to finish his sentence, "But?"

"They …" he paused, as if trying to organize his thoughts, "… they weren't here before … they only showed up when you arrived on the islands." I froze. Everything froze. My heart gave a painful tug and I looked at the ground, tears stinging my eyes. What? So what if they only showed up after I did? I shouldn't react like this … I should feel guilt for possibly bring them here, or at least shock. So then, why … why did I feel so … so sad? My chest gave another painful twist and I turned away from Riku, hiding my face as the tears overflowed and my throat began feeling like it was being blocked up.

I only barely heard Makodo's claws on the floor as he returned from putting away Riku's sword. Just like I barely heard him when he whimpered and began howling sorrowfully. I placed my forearm against the wall and layed my head on it, hiding my eyes from Riku. "What?" he whispered, the shock completely audible in his voice, "Why are you … look, even if you … it's not." He sounded like he was having trouble talking, like he had no idea what to say. Suddenly, it was like I couldn't control myself.

I broke down as a million foreign thoughts flashed threw my head. I immediately knew what they were from; my old life … my forgotten life. Falling to my knees I began to cry out and beg, shouting all of the thought in my mind as I prayed that it would some how help to clear my head of the unfamiliar thoughts, "Why?! Why did they come hear? Don't they know that this could … no!" I stopped only for a moment, cringing from the massive pain in my chest. I sobbed loudly, not even noticing that Riku was awkwardly trying to calm me down, though he was at a loss for words. Again that forgotten part of me took over, "I can't protect them this time! They have to … they can't …"

My heart gave another little twist, causing me to cry out again, "NO!" My body was shaking and my eyes were swollen from the tears. I don't know why, but the creatures that I had spent so much time trying to kill suddenly seemed so fragile. I felt akin to them, as if my heart were aching for them. Only now did I realize that I was sitting in the fetal position, gently rocking back and forth, like a scared child. But that was all I noticed. Now my entire body ached … no … not my body. But then, what did I feel writhing in pain inside of me? That foreign part of my brain supplied the answer just before disappearing underneath the dark water again, your soul.

I suddenly snapped out of it, only to see Riku's panicked face as he shook me gently by the shoulders, "Hika!" I stared, searching through my mind for those unfamiliar thoughts. They weren't there anymore. Now, after my old life was brought so close, only to be pulled away again, the misery of being the girl with no past really set in. For the first time since I had arrived on the islands … I cried.

I cried as I clung to Riku, burring my face in his chest and clutching his shirt in my hands. My heart was still cringing from the remnants of the pain that had raged inside of me just moments ago.

I cried for the past I had lost, for the woman that died the moment I washed onto the shores of Destiny Islands. Riku's strong arms wrap around me, but he still stayed silent, probably surprised by my outburst.

I cried shamelessly … like a child. I sobbed and shook as the desperate tears streamed down my face. "Who … who am I?" I begged, not really expecting an answer. Riku stirred slightly, "Dale." I looked up at him, still not able to stop the tears even though the pain had been replaced by complete confusion, "Wait … what?" He was looking over his shoulder so I followed his gaze, peeking past him.

The kitchen window was open. Standing on the counter just bellow it was a small, furry chipmunk with a red nose.

I screamed.