We had talked, laughed, and joked. We met in our Haven every single day.
I was been happy until about four weeks after the first time we met there. That was around the time that I quit being able to sleep. Every time that I closed my eyes I would see his face. I would wish for something that I was not allowed to want. Even when I finally fell asleep it would be troubled. I would wake from dreams of endless longing. It was enough to drive anyone insane. On the fifth day of restlessness I had just grabbed my pillow and gone to the Haven. No one even noticed the strange girl carrying a pillow through the streets while in her nightclothes. That night I slept in our Haven. It was the first sleep I had gotten in a long time.
That morning as I went home to gather my clothes, I knew what I had to do. I was shaking so hard that I had difficulty with the strings on my corset. I didn't run to the Haven as I normally did.
Of course I had to tell him, if only for the sake of my own sanity. That was what the dreams all led to. Maybe then I could be happy. At least, that was what I hoped. What if he was angry? What if he never wanted to see me again? I would understand. Such a creature of perfection did not belong with…me.
Finally I was at our Haven. I looked down and realized that I was wringing my hands. I grabbed handfuls of my skirt instead.
He was waiting for me as usual, holding a wrapped package, same as the first day. It was a game of his to bring me a new book every day. I figured that he did it only because I had told him not to.
I took a deep breath. My heart was speeding up. I mused internally at how hard it was to expose one's heart to the man it rightfully belonged to.
I moved into our Haven and sat down on the soft grass.
"What's wrong?" Tristan asked. I wished that he was not always so perceptive.
I closed my eyes. "Tristan," I said. "I-" I stopped.
I opened my mouth and started again. "You-" I stopped again.
I realized that I was never going to get it out this way. Tristan was looking at me rather quizzically. "I, I can't sleep. I cannot stop thinking- about you." I sighed. A tear pushed its way down my cheek. "I love you." I should have said that differently. I should have worked my way to it. What was wrong with me?
I could not look at his face. What if he was wearing a look of disgust?
"Rosalinde," He whispered. That said it all.
"No." I thought. "Oh no, NO!" I wasn't even capable of coherent thought. That word just kept running through my mind. I could not let him finish his sentence, so I got up and ran further into the woods. Tears poured down my face unheeded. Branches whipped across my face, leaving scratches and taking pieces of my dress.
"Rosalinde, Rosalinde, please!" Tristan was chasing me.
I did not want to stop, but there was a piece of me that yearned to have him next to me again, even if it was for one heartbreaking second.. I slowed down incrementally. That was enough. He caught me easily.
"Rosalinde," He said while holding my arms to keep me from running again. At least, that was what I had thought. "Rosalinde, I love you too. I was going to tell you today." The corner of his mouth twitched up in a smile.
"How?" I had felt sure that he would be angry. The idea of him loving me…was impossible.
"Rosalinde, can you not see that you are beautiful and intelligent? Can you not see?" he sighed. "I never had a chance. When I first saw you, I thought you were the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. I started to watch you. I began falling for you before you even knew who I was.
"At that ball, that beautiful, wonderful ball, I wasn't enjoying myself at all. I was planning to excuse myself as soon as possible, even if I had to contract a false illness. I had several good excuses planned." He smiled at some errant thought then turned back to me. His eyes held some intent inner fire. "But then I saw you in the corner. You were there, but you were separate from everything going on around you, like a creature from another world. I took a chance, and it was the best decision I have ever made."
I felt lightheaded. Did he really mean it? I looked into his eyes and knew the truth. I threw my arms around his neck. He put his arms around me and spun me in circles.
I laughed. I had never felt this giddy. "I never want to leave your arms."
Tristan smiled and kissed the top of my head.
Almost ridiculously, the sky chose that moment to begin weeping upon us.
I loved the feel of the rain upon me. I decided that the sky must be awed to tears by our romantic moment.
"Come with me!" I said, and raced Tristan back to our Haven. My already torn dress was quickly soaked through and completely ruined.
Tristan beat me. He was standing there grinning triumphantly, so I pushed him into the mud.
"Can I have a hand?" He asked. When I offered mine he pulled me down into the mud next to him.
"I cannot believe that I fell for that!" I squealed. In retaliation I hit him in the back of the head with a handful of mud.
"I surrender! I surrender!" Tristan cried.
I smiled. It felt like nothing could go wrong if he was by my side.