Chapter Three

Flowers

I almost decide to skip dinner with Effie, because I'm such an emotional wreck, but I can't do that to her. It'd be rude. And you know how Effie feels about manners. That part of her hasn't gone away yet, and I don't think it ever will.

The note is what did me in. I had to leave after that. But before I did, I invited Annie to my wedding. I don't think she was all there when I told her, so I make a mental note to send her an official invitation. I climbed onto the train without even setting foot in the ocean. Next time, I guess.

I was this close to calling off the whole trip and going back to Peeta, but I ultimately decided against that too. I did give him a call, though.

"It was so painful, Peeta," I say into the phone, while eating lamb stew. Thankfully, none of the Capitol's fare was damaged after the war. I don't think I could live without my lamb stew. Peeta sighs. "Are you sure you don't want me to come to you?" he asks for the thirty-first time. I shake my head, then remember that Peeta can't see me.

"No, it's alright. I just have to stop at 2 and then continue on to the Capitol. I haven't seen Paylor in a while, or Plutarch, so I thought I'd give them a visit," I say. Peeta doesn't respond for a moment. "You do realize who is in 2, don't you?" he says after a while. I mentally roll my eyes. Of course I know.

"Yes, I know, Peeta. I'll be fine," I say. Peeta huffs. "It's not you I'm worried about," he says. I stand up, pacing my room. "Peeta, I'm with you. I'm committed to you. Don't worry about Gale. I'm sure he has a girlfriend. He may even be married," I say, though my heart sinks at the thought. I know I'm with Peeta, but there is still a small part of me clinging to Gale should Peeta ever leave me.

I can tell Peeta is smiling. "Alright, I trust you. Now I have to go, Haymitch is hollering from across the street for me to come out and help him round up his geese," he says. "I didn't know he's still raising geese," I say. Peeta chuckles. "I think it's more of a therapy for him than anything," I smile. "I love you," I say. "I love you, too," Peeta says. I hang up the phone.

Saying 'I love you' to Peeta feels so natural, so easy, whereas imagining myself saying it to Gale just feels forced, and unnatural. Hopefully I'll never have to say it to him.

~The Next Morning~

"Katniss! We're here!" I hear Effie chirp. I've hardly opened my eyes when my prep team steps in, holding a box. "Good morning, Katniss!" Venia says, handing me the box. I smile. "What's in the box?" I ask. Flavius grins. "Your clothes, silly! What did you think?" he blabbers. I smirk.

The prep team hustles out, shouting messages of condolences. Why, I don't know.

I shower, and get dressed in the clothes. It's simple. Too simple. Black pants, black shirt. Almost as if I'm going into an arena. Underneath the shoes I find a red belt. And a red jacket. What are they going for? My 'Girl On Fire' appearance is long gone, and the clothes are stored away forever. Why bring them back out now?

Am I missing something?

I feel the train lurch to a stop, and Effie appears back at my door, adorned in something similar but not quite the same. "Ready, Katniss?" she asks. I sigh. "As ready as I'll ever be, Effie," I say, following her to the exit.

When I step out I notice that it's a bit chilly, which explains the jacket. I see lots of people milling around, either talking or laughing. It's an extremely different atmosphere than when I last visited. I turn toward the area where the Nut used to be, and all I see is a field of grass and flowers. A homemade memorial.

I don't make it more than ten feet when I'm recognized. People nod hellos, try to spark up conversations, but I basically find an excuse not to do what they want.

I find myself standing in the middle of the flower field, with Effie not far off, speaking to someone who looks important. It's quiet, and all I hear is the wind, and I smell the scent of the flowers. I close my eyes and when I do, I feel a tap on my shoulder. When I turn around I almost faint, but I don't because I don't want to crush the flowers.

He smiles.

"Hey, Catnip,"