Right now, I'm kinda pissed off at Sherlock, I mean how does he get his hair to do that! I can put whatever I freaking like in it and it still doesn't look neat or cute, it looks like I just rolled out of bed! *Pant pant* sorry about my outburst there, I'm feeling a little bit tetchy. Plus it's five in the morning and I still haven't managed to get to sleep.
John and Sherlock stood in their living room, wearing the suits that Mycroft had bought them, waiting for Artemis to finish in the bathroom. Eventually they could hear the soft rustle or cloth as he walked towards them.
"I'm not going." Artemis called from out in the hallway.
"Of course you are, Mycroft ordered it. I suggest you do what he says." Sherlock advanced to the open doorway, his movements silent. He leant against the wall nest to the doorframe, waiting.
"I will not go out looking like this."
"It can't be much worse than what Sherlock and I have to wear." John automatically used the correct grammar, after being repeatedly hounded by them both. Artemis let out a short laugh. All of a sudden Sherlock's arm flashed through the doorframe, grasped Artemis' arm, and pulled. Artemis stumbled into the living room, John promptly doubled over laughing. Sherlock looked like he was restraining himself too.
"It's not funny!" Artemis blushed fiercely. His hair was loose, falling over his shoulders. His green eyes glowed, probably due to the shade of green his clothing was.
"You're wearing a dress!" John pointed out before collapsing and wriggling around on the floor. Sherlock quickly joined him. Artemis astounded them both by tears running down his face. John pushed himself up and practically ran over to comfort him. When he was close enough, Artemis kicked him in the shins. John lay, clutching his leg.
"Serves you right!"
"Ahem." Artemis turned around to see Mycroft leaning against the doorframe, his right hand holding the ever-present umbrella, his left a small ring box. Sherlock instantly recognised it. Mycroft held it towards Artemis.
"I've had it resized for you."
"Why would you resize my engagement ring? It isn't meant for anyone apart from-" Artemis' eyes widened and he backed away. "NO. Not as in, no I will not do it, as in I will not do it if you tied me down and got one of your minions to thrash me three ways to nest Sunday." Mycroft smiled, John pushed himself up and limped slightly to where they were standing, Sherlock joined them shortly.
"Do what?" John asked.
"He wants Artemis to pose as his fiancé." Sherlock deduced, boredom seeping into his voice.
"Why?"
"I think someone is targeting this event tonight, hoping to kidnap someone of high importance. Mycroft is very influential, but can easily manipulate others, however, his fiancé would have just as much influence and be a much better hostage."
"Then, why Artemis?" Sherlock raised an eyebrow, looking at Artemis. Even in the small heels he was wearing he was shorter than John. He glared at Sherlock. John suddenly noticed that Artemis had a waist.
"Erm… Have you always been this… effeminate?"
"I'm wearing a fucking corset." He stormed off downstairs, grabbing the box from Mycroft on the way.
"Congratulations, dearest brother. Your fiancé looks wonderful." Sherlock sauntered past Mycroft, who still had a soft smile on his face.
"Come, John, the limo is waiting." John followed Mycroft, instantly obeying.
Why the hell are we here? John kept asking himself as he nursed his second glass of wine. From where his table was situated he could see Artemis and Sherlock dance together. Strangely, the sight hurt more than it should have. They both moved with such grace that it was hard to tear his eyes away.
"So who are you?" A young woman sat down in the seat next to him.
"Doctor John Watson." He responded automatically.
"Jane Aaronovitch, pleased to meet you." She introduced herself, her eyes showing her instant want. Meanwhile, on the dance floor, Artemis glared at Sherlock.
"If you look at me like that, my dear, then we may never invite you to Christmas Dinner."
"Screw you and your fancy Christmas dinner, get me out of here!" Artemis hissed between clenched teeth.
"You know, I would never have guessed how beautiful a young woman you make. And such fine acting skills too, people really believe that you love Mycroft." He received a piercing look for that statement. "Besides, the plan's working. It shouldn't be too long now."
"Good, because you have little over a week left. Then I leave."
"Good."
"Great." They broke apart, pleasantly bowing and curtseying, before Artemis glided over to Mycroft. Sherlock went over to John and the young woman.
"I believe you are in my seat." Sherlock said, icily. The young woman fled, and Sherlock sat down.
"You didn't need to do that."
"We are working, you shouldn't be flirting."
"Working?"
"Yes, we need to identify who wants to kidnap Artemis." They sat down and surveyed the room. It took them some minutes to realise they couldn't see Artemis' green dress anymore.
"Crap." John muttered.
When they eventually found Artemis, after arresting all of the men and women responsible, he was hanging upside down from the rafters.
"Well, don't just stand there! Get me down!" He wriggled. The dress and corset lay abandoned in a corner, leaving Artemis wearing only a pair of white boxers. Sherlock amused himself by taking photos on his phone. Artemis wiggled around a little more, a look of intense concentration on his face.
"How many knots did you manage to get untied?"
"Five." Artemis grunted. Mycroft strolled in, whistling tunelessly.
"Why are you still hanging upside down?"
"There are so many knots! And it's only been half-an-hour, thank you very much. What took you so long?"
"I wanted to make sure that you were stationary and that the kidnappers had enough time to take you to the heart of their compound."
"You have a tracker on me!" Artemis was turning around slowly, until John, Mycroft and Sherlock could see his hands working on the knots. When he was untying the last knot, Sherlock walked over to the rope tying him up, and cut it. Artemis hit the ground with a thud and a grunt.
"What the hell was that for?" He shouted angrily, he pulled the ropes off himself, checking the abrasions. He stood up, promptly falling into Mycroft's outstretched arms. John, looking at Artemis, wondered whether or not Sherlock looked that cute when woozy. He blinked, remembering whose company he was in. All three men stared at John, making his blush. Sherlock shrugged out of his suit coat and passed it to Artemis, Mycroft helping him put it on. Artemis tugged at the engagement ring, frowning. Mycroft smiled pleasantly while Artemis began pulling in earnest.
"Bastard!" Mycroft walked away, leaving Artemis to stumble behind. Sherlock looked at John, a strange look passing over his face.
"Chinese?"
"It's three in the bloody morning, what Chinese place would be open?"
"I know a place." Sherlock smiled and walked away.
"Of course you do." John muttered under his breath.