CHAPTER 4
This time I woke up. And remembered everything. There wasn't an ounce in me that believed this was just a horrible nightmare. It was reality. It was my life. And it was all too real. Somehow I wished I didn't wake up. I wished I had been drugged and it had killed me. Then at least this fear I felt would be gone. But it wasn't. I'm just not lucky enough. So of course when I woke, I expected to be thrown across the room. Or at least hear that cackling laughter. But neither happened. This time, I woke up on my own. But to say the least, I was worried. There was something on my stomach, it was heavy too. Or at least it seemed heavy to me. And it was moving. I was frightened to look down. Then I heard a whimper. My eyes looked down and to my surprise I saw… a puppy. A dachshund. It was so small. I was surprised to see it alive. As if it were a reaction, I caught the puppy in between my hands, and tucked it under the blankets. He was making sounds and I was afraid the Joker might hear him. Or her?
No it was a Him. This puppy was not safe. Not at all. And I wondered why it was here in the first place. The poor thing could barely keep balance. And he kept whining. But my heart was for once filled with awe. The puppy made me feel like there was hope. Maybe there was hope for everyone. I held the puppy close, stroking his little back. And I kept remembering that horrible night so many years ago. The same night I sat there with the Joker. Crying. I didn't exactly no what all was going on around me. Except I knew that it wasn't good. Blood was never good. And I kept thinking, even as a little child, this boy was dead. Even though I could easily see he was alive and breathing. I thought he was dead. That's why I've never thought of him since them. And now, he's turned into something else. The thought of that little boy almost brought sympathy towards the Joker. Almost. And then I laughed to myself at the thought. Although I did wonder what had happened to him. Why he's so insane. Well, not so much insane. I know insane. I've been studying it for years. The Joker was smarter than that. Somewhere between sane and insane maybe? Well now I'm just confusing myself.
That's when I did notice someone at the doorway. But it wasn't the Joker. No, it was that same guy who had watched me the first day I came. He was waiting and watching. Probably babysitting me yet again. But then he came close. A little too close for comfort. He pulled a knife from his pocket. Smiling, while watching my horrific figure. "Don't move and I won't have to hurt you," he said. This had confused me, for I sat up. Gazing at him intensely. I slowly moved the puppy onto the floor and watched as he wondered beneath the bed. The guy had noticed him but paid no attention. His eyes set on me. That's when I realized what was happening. "No! Get away!" I screamed. "Be quiet! Or I'll kill your little dog too." I froze. Somehow, this little doggy meant a lot. By all means I wanted him to stay safe. Because this little dog didn't know any better. He needed someone.
He made his way to the bed. I could feel the tears coming now. I had no strength. A ten pound puppy felt so heavy against my stomach. I realized I hadn't eaten in days. My strength was gone. I hardly could maneuver my body to sit up. By now though, this freak was on the bed. Hovering over me. I couldn't help but feel sick inside. I mean wouldn't you? He was clawing at my hoodie, using the knife to tear at it. But he was taking to long. "Damn it! I said shut up!" That's when I realized I was making noises. I was crying so hard. And I realized I was saying stop it. I didn't notice it though. I was too gone to realize anything. Like I didn't realize I heard the gunshot. And it took me a moment to recognize the blood spattered about my face, arms, and clothes. Then he dropped onto me. At first I could've sworn this guy pulled out a gun from no where. And shot me anyways. But then he fell on me. He was entirely too heavy, I almost couldn't breathe. And then the weight was lifted from me. And I seen the Joker standing next to the bed. A gun in his hand. He look disgusted. "You whore!" He screamed, smacking me with his hand. "And to think I had a surprise for you!" That's when I remembered the puppy. "The puppy?" I barely mumbled. A smile spread across his face. "No that was suppose to be lunch. I mean the surprise downstairs." He laughed and yanked me from the bed. I barely made out the puppy's tiny figure, wondering in the corner of the room.
Then we were out of the room. And he was dragging me down the hallway. We got to the staircase again. My heart froze a little. I didn't want to go. I was hesitant. And I could feel myself getting dizzy. And falling. A push from behind made me fall. But I snatched the hand rail, in time to catch myself before I fell. I heard him laugh, and watched as he passed me, grabbing my still sore hand and led me downstairs. "You are going to love this surprise! I can tell." He screeched with laughter, almost running downstairs now, while practically dragging me downstairs. Then we made it to the familiar steel door that led to the huge empty garage. He opened the door and pulled me inside. It was dark. I heard him laughing. I could faintly make out two figures, sitting in chairs. And I heard a click and the lights came on. Once my eyes adjusted, I could see the two figures were tied. And I recognized them both right away.
It was Amanda. And Sean. They were bloody, and still in there wedding clothes. Which made me realize the Joker must've captured them at there wedding after all. The sight of them was terrible. Like straight out of a horror movie, only worse. This was real. Amanda was crying. And I wasn't sure if Sean was awake or unconscious. They were both tied up and their mouths taped shut. I cried instantly when I saw her. And ran for her. I couldn't bring myself to believe it was actually her. I hugged her. She was crying and I slowly yanked the tape from her mouth. "Emma! Oh Emma…" but she couldn't say anything else. Her speech was gone from her crying. "I am so sorry Amanda. I'm so sorry." "No, Emma. I'm sorry. I never knew this would…" I could only hold her. "I love you Amanda! So much." She nodded her head and cried some more. But I could see everything in her eyes. I almost saw my own reflection in them. She stared at me like I was the walking dead. Then I heard laughing behind me. "I just hate breaking up perfect moments!" He laughed, clapping his hands. "But this is really making me sick." I almost truly forgot he was here. Almost.
"Don't you love me Emma? I know how to make you happy." He said this while raising a gun. I cried hysterically. "No, don't please. Don't kill them." He was laughing though. "Why? Do you want to." I caught his gaze. Pure evil. He was looking at me. And I tried to hold back the tears. But they wouldn't stop coming. I had to look away, this was only making him happier. "Fine, I'll give you a choice." Oh no. Not this again. "Kill Sean for me and I'll let Amanda go." He handed the gun to me. And I took it. Only to have the weapon in my hand. I wasn't going to kill Sean. I couldn't. If there was still a sane part of me, it was the part that would never be like the Joker. "You're such a liar." I said. Staring at the gun the whole time. He started laughing again. "No, I promise. Kill Sean and Amanda is free."
"Don't kill Sean! Please Emma don't!" I didn't want to, but I didn't want Amanda to die. She was my best friend. And although that was her husband. He wasn't faithful. I never told Amanda, because I couldn't, but while she was busy planning the wedding, Sean was busy fondling other women. She was crying. "No Emma! Don't!" I couldn't believe she thought I would do something. I was so lost right now. I just stared in the distance. I could kill someone. His hand was wrapped around my arm right now. But I didn't have it in me. Every time I thought of the Joker getting what he deserved, I remembered when he was little. He had already suffered. His grip got tighter. "Choose, or I'll just kill them both." I did hear that though. I raised the gun. It was pointed at the suffering Sean. "Go ahead, put him out of his misery." I could hear him laughing. He was trying to brain wash me. Like this would be helping Sean a lot. Amanda was screaming now. At me. A look of hate in her eyes. I didn't want to see this. So I turned around. She still screamed. No words. Just horror. The Joker was now becoming impatient. "Do it already! It's easy." I couldn't do it. I couldn't take the life away from a human. I once felt bad for killing a snake once. How the hell would I get over this one? Then I heard a gunshot. And Amanda screamed.
"No…" She was silent now. But I could hear her crying. What a damn surprise. And then I felt the Jokers arms around me. He moved me so I could see Amanda crying. Half of her was dead already. That was too easy to see. And then I felt my arms being lifted and the gun pointed at Amanda. The Jokers hand around mine. I knew what was going to happen. I started screaming myself. But there was nothing I could do. Because he pressed down on my finger, making me pull the trigger. A gunshot was heard, followed by one scream and then silence. As soon as I was free from the Joker's grip, I fell to the ground. Looking at my own hands. Although I didn't pull the trigger, my fingerprints were on it. "See, you did it! Easy." He laughed.
I tried to cry. For some reason, I just couldn't. I was silent on the cold cement ground. The gun in front of me. I shoved it out of my gaze and laid down. I was numb. Completely and utterly numb. It didn't make a difference if I lived now. Amanda died. My hands were on that gun. My best friend was dead. Forever gone. She would never be able to make me laugh again. We could never go out partying again on Friday nights down at Maria's dorm. Or go to the little café and get coffee before class. I thought I heard the Joker say something but I couldn't hear him. Or maybe I could. I just didn't care to listen. I did however feel the ground disappear from beneath me. I was being carried over his shoulder. Carried upstairs maybe? I wasn't sure. I was so weak and so broken I was almost not even awake any more. Actually I could feel myself slowly passing out. And then I felt a bed beneath me. And I did hear the door shut. I was all alone again. Finally.
I rolled onto my side and noticed two slices of bread on the bed. I ate them because I knew I was slowly fading if I didn't. I only managed to get down one and half slices. My stomach churned and I could feel the bread coming back up. I raced over to the wall, where the was a door that led to a bathroom. I was hovering over the toilet. But nothing came back up. I managed to keep the food down. That was good. But I couldn't get myself to care anymore. As I was walking I got glimpse of the mirror. I turned and looked at myself. It was the worse I had ever seen myself. My hair, usually shoulder length. Was chopped. Halfway between my neck and jaw line. My eyes were bruised and red from crying. I still had the word Emma written across my forehead. My lips were pale, almost blue, and badly cut up. My complexion was completely pale. My eyes, usually bright like gold, were so dead. They were plain. And there was nothing in them. I hated the way I looked. I now knew why Amanda was so terrified of me.
I could finally start crying again. And I did. And I walked back to the bed. Laying down and trying to forget everything. Although Amanda's terrified face was still in my head. And her eyes. They seemed to hate me so much, like this was my idea. Cried at that thought too. And then I heard someone crying with me. Or should I say, something. I looked down onto the floor. There was that little puppy. I lifted him up and set him on the bed. I watched him wonder to the bread and eat pieces of it. I watched his little teeth rip the bread to pieces. I watched him so intensely and so closely, just to forget Amanda's face. It was almost working. Until I fell asleep.
And I had this dream. I had this nightmare.