The light streaming through Nick's window woke him up. He was about to curl back up next to Jess and go back to sleep when he realized that she wasn't there. For a moment it confused him until he heard her bright laughter coming from the kitchen.

Smiling to himself, as always when he heard her laugh, he decided to get up. He was curious to find out what was so funny as Jess' laughter was getting stronger and louder.

Walking out in the kitchen, he could smell breakfast being cooked. Oh yes, he very glad he woke up. Looking out over to the kitchen, he stopped dead. There, as he predicted, his roommates sat with Jess cooking in front of them. Which was fine. The part that made him want to throw up was the sight of Sam standing behind Jess with his arms around her, his face bent into her neck kissing. The look that Jess' gave, looked as if this was not a strange thing to be happening. She looked happy leaning back up against Sam.

"Look who decided to join the daylight walkers," Winston exclaimed.

"Morning Nick, you want some breakfast?" This came from Jess who he could not remove his eyes from.

"What the hell is going on? What is he doing here?" Nick was trying to control his temper. There must be a reasonable explanation but come on, that god damn doctor has his hands all over HIS girlfriend. He was pretty sure that he was allowed to be slightly pissed!

The other roommates all looked at each other with a worried, confused look.

"Hey Man, have some food. I'm sure you will feel better after something to eat" Schmidt said thinking that maybe Nick was still a little drunk.

"I'm not eating a thing until I find out why HE has his hand on my girlfriend!"

The others froze. Winston, who was half way to putting food in his mouth, dropped his fork. The loud clatter seemed to echo as everyone looked at Nick, even Sam. Who had been paying little attention to his surroundings.

Schmidt stared at Nick, until he relaxed a little. "Girlfriend, good one Nick" he started laughing as if Nick had just told a really great joke. The others chuckled trying to pass it off as a joke too.

This made Nick angry until he caught Jess' eye. The look she gave him ebbed his anger away but it was replaced with utter sadness. He wanted to turn back into his room and go full on ugly cry. First he needed to find out what was going on though.

Walking out of the front door still in the t-shirt and boxers he had slept in, he slumped on the landing stairs.

A few moments later Jess walked out, thankfully by herself. "Hi pal, what's going on?"

"I haven't a clue Jess, was hoping you could tell me. When did Sam turn up?"

"Last night Nick, don't you remember? We were playing True American when he walked in and joined us." Jess was talking to him as if he was a child struggling to pick up a concept, or a hurt animal.

This statement confused Nick even more. They hadn't play True American last night, and Sam most certainly hadn't turned up. He closed his eyes pinching them with his hand. Last night he and Jess sat together watching a movie, Schmidt was complaining because they were sitting to couple like and apparently this was distracting him from the film to which Nick and Jess sat closer together. It was chilled, relaxed and just plain nice which suited Nick just fine.

Nick wanted to reach out to Jess now just to feel her again but with everything that was happening, he didn't think that was the wisest of moves.

"Then what happened?" Nick wanted Jess' full story before he could decide how to react.

"Well, once again, I became your cooler, which I am so sorry about by the way. We were in the final stages of the game deciding who was going to go behind the iron door to kiss. My hope had been that it was you and Holly but it didn't quite work out that way."

At least this part was starting to sound familiar to Nick. "It was you and me that went behind the curtain instead."

"err no Nick, it was Sam and I. We kissed, probably a little longer than necessary while you and Schmidt were arguing about Holly who ended up passed out on the couch. Then we all just went to bed."

There was the feeling of wanting to throw up again. How could this even be possible? "Nothing happened between you and me last night?"

"Blugh! No Nick, what makes you think that?"

"Nothing, I just must have drank too much."

"You good now Buddy? Coming back in? There is a yummy breakfast waiting for you." Jess was glad Nick had things sorted in his head. He really should lay off the alcohol if he was going to start imagining things like them being a couple. What a ludicrous idea.

"No thanks Jess, just going to sit here for a bit."

"Ok, don't sit out here too long. The angry woman next door might come out to get you."

Nick didn't know how long he sat there for. In his head, him and Jess were great together. They just worked. Now it turns out not to be real. How could he lose that? Now he wasn't making any sense even to himself. "I have to go back in" What was he going to do live out in the hallway in his sleepwear?

Standing up and brushing his hands over his face and then slapping his cheeks he muttered out loud "You can do this Miller". He walked back through the front door. The sight that affronted him was Jess and Sam saying goodbye. It was a kiss that was inappropriate for the common areas. When Sam and Jess were together before, or before in Nick's mind, this didn't bother him as much until he had first kissed Jess. Which apparently now hadn't happened. Ahh, he was so confused, and he couldn't watch this any longer. He stormed back to his room and hid under the covers vowing not to leave until things were right in the world.

He slept a bit, well most of the day, but nothing changed. Jess was still his quirky roommate with a hot doctor boyfriend.

Over the next couple of weeks things got worse. Nick became extremely distant from his other roommates, working all the hours he could just to be away from the loft, from Jess. Even if they visited the bar, he wouldn't talk to them other than serve them drinks. One night Jess came in with Sam and Nick had to ask Big Bob to serve them. He couldn't be near her.

The others were worried about him and Jess felt hurt that one of her best friends was pushing her away. He wouldn't talk to her but she could see that he was hurting. Over what she had no idea.

At first they kept asking Nick what was wrong He refused to answer. What was he supposed to say "I dreamt a different universe, different reality where Jess and I were together and happy. That I love her and watching her with another guy is now killing me?"

They would put him straight into a mental hospital and he wouldn't blame them. At least he would be away from the loft. Silver linings and all..

The worst day of all was when work made him take a day off. It was raining so he had nowhere to hide out. Schmidt, Winston and himself were watching a football game, though Nick had no idea what was really happening in it, when Jess bounced through the door, literally jumping and shouting "WOOHOO".

She bounced her way over to them "Sam asked me to move in with him."

"What?!" both Schmidt and Winston said at the same time.

Nick however could feel the blood draining from his face. His arms went limp by his side. No. No. No this is not happening.

"Yes, he asked me last night." Jess said beaming.

"I suppose congratulation Jess, though we will miss you here." Schmidt got up and hugged her.

Winston followed suit "We will be around to have your breakfast of course. You won't get a chance to miss us"

Jess could feel herself tearing up. She would miss these guys so much but this was the right move for her, the grown up move. Plus the way things had been around the loft lately with Nick, it was right for everyone.

They all looked towards Nick waiting for him to say something to Jess, but he just sat there. "You not going to say anything Nicolas?" He was hurting her but he didn't know what to do.

"No."

"What! What do you mean No? No you're not going to say anything? No you're not happy for me? What is it Nick" screamed Jess.

"NO! Ok Jess, No no no no!" he had finally lost it, this was the final straw. He stormed off to his room slamming his door behind him.

"Fine Nick be like that then! I thought you were my friend." Jess was full on crying now. She had to walk away and fast.

He wanted to go up to her and kiss her until she forgot the doctor. Considering she just agreed to move in with him though, he probably would just get slapped instead.

So Nick had been wrong about that being the worst day. That was nothing compared to watching Jess move out then seeing her empty room. He hadn't spoken a word to anyone since that day in the living room. When the room had been cleared and she and the guys left for her new apartment, he came out of his hiding place and crept across the hall. The room was now stark except for one piece of furniture, the dresser that he had built her. That was the final nail in the coffin. He closed the door, sank to the floor against it, and started to cry, it wasn't a ugly cry. Just tears, he couldn't stop them. How had this happened he didn't know. He would have gladly taken the pain that he felt when Caroline left him. That was a picnic compared to now.

This pain was beyond anything he could cope with. Every breath he took hurt. He didn't move but just sat there until he fell asleep exhausted on the floor.

He wasn't sure if he had dreamed the whole thing with Jess, starting from the moment they were locked behind the iron curtain, to their first and second kiss, Cece's wedding, calling it then un-calling it, but it had felt real to him. Now he would never know what it felt like to wake up next to Jessica Day, again. Real or unreal he had lost that.

Nick awoke in his bed the next day, not entirely sure how he got there. He looked up at the ceiling. It was now time to start the rest of his life without Jess. After his breakdown, he decided that was all he was going to allow himself to feel. Now he had to continue to live the rest of his life.

His bedroom door opened slowly, thinking it was obviously Schmidt or Winston checking on him, he didn't look towards the door.

Though when he heard her voice his heart stopped. "Hey sleepyhead, sorry, didn't wake you did I?"

Nick just shook his head, words would not exit his mouth. Jess joined him on his bed and curled herself up next to him. Still he hadn't moved.

"Nick, what's wrong?"

He cleared his throat trying to force words out "Nothing"

She was moving closer, almost laying on top of him "Then why Nick Miller are you not hugging me back?" Teasing him slightly, she didn't like the look in his eyes. They looked too sad.

"You are absolutely right." His arms finally made it round her.

"That's better. Thought you had gone off me then." She lifted her hand to his face and gently rubbed under his eyes, the look still lingered. "Now are you going to tell me what's wrong?"

"Nightmare, really bad one." He brought her closer to him and kissed her. Pouring everything he felt but couldn't say into that one kiss.

Jess caught on to what he was doing as that kiss was intense; the nightmare must have really shook him up. "I'm here now, no more nightmares."

"Promise me that you won't go anywhere." Nick was being ridiculous he knew that but he needed to hear her say it.

"I promise Nick." She just stayed there in his arms guessing at that moment that was all he needed.