More crack-fic, this time about Katara becoming The Ambassador and the inevitable romance which would accompany that.
The relentless, biting wind blew over the frozen permafrost and ice floes that characterized the land at the South Pole, dropping the temperature so low that even the thick furs of the indigenous inhabitants who lived there could not completely deny the chilly air.
Within the surprisingly warm confines of a heated igloo, the elders of the Southern Water Tribe discussed their radically new post-war diplomatic strategy, as so much had changed that they felt the need for their ragtag group of survivors to send numerous representatives abroad.
Honorable Chief Hakoda, Father of the Great Warrior Sokka and the Great Waterbender Katara, stood up to address the gathered tribesmen in their first meeting for the day.
"I suggest that we appoint an Ambassador to-"
All of a sudden, the back wall of the igloo dissolved into a flurry of water through which stepped the no-longer-last Waterbender of the South Pole, Katara. Behind her, Aang and Sokka could be seen several tents away with shock written all over their young faces.
"- the Fire Nation!" Katara piped in excitedly. I've waited my whole life to spend my time held up with boring negotiations at the peak of my youth! I can't believe this opportunity-"
Hakoda couldn't read minds, but the eery gleam in his daughter's once-hospitable eyes was highly unnerving.
"Dear," he began before being interrupted once again by his daughter.
"Can I go today? I can't wait any longer! Usually I dally around and pretend to actually not want to be in such a stuffy position, but today I've realized that I'm a very diplomatic and patient person!"
Her unforgettable performances with the last two groups of power-brokers she had met, the Earth Kingdom generals and the Northern Water Tribe Council, came to everyone's mind. Her diplomatic nature, maturity and respect for foreign (or even domestic) customs had been clearly demonstrated. The duel with Pakku had been a completely family-friendly, non-confrontation spar between like-minded colleagues, of course.
Even as everyone shook their heads, Katara snatched a piece of parchment entitling the position of Fire Nation ambassador and wrote her name not-so-neatly on the blank spaces below.
" Um-Sweetie!" Aang called as he gingerly stepped over the shards of ice and into the tent, "are you sure about this?"
"Of course, why wouldn't I? I really miss Zu-the Fire Nation." she said without a hint of sarcasm.
"Katara," Hakoda chided calmly, "I think it's best if you let one of our more experienced members handle this job. I appreciate your enthusiasm, but you deserve a break."
"No, it's final. I'll go and become Fir-Ambassador Lady." her eyes darted nervously as Sokka scratched his chin thoughtfully.
"Well," Aang began slowly, "I guess I could go with her. I have a lot of work to do in the Fire Nation. what with all the people who hate me and whatnot."
"No!" Katara said suddenly. "You need to thoughtlessly leave me in the Fire Nation, alone, so I feel lonely and build an attachment to another powerful bender."
"What?!" Aang roared. "Why would I do that? I thought we were going to be together!"
"We still can, but only on the surface. That way we have thinly-veiled dramatic irony to create romantic tension for the plot to advance."
"Huh?" Sokka grunted. "I'm not leaving my sister alone in the Fire Nation- you're as much as a target for the rebels as Aang and Zuko are, and you will be vulnerable in an unfamilar environment."
"No. it's alright Sokka. You'd just get in the way of me and Zu-the other Ambassador's budding relationship."
"What, you mean the Air Nation Ambassador? I'm not getting in the way of that- I've learned to stay away." he replied warily. "In fact, I think of Aang as a bro-"
"Me too!" Katara said. "By the way, is Toph around?"
"Um...no?" Aang answered in an unsure voice. "Do you need her for something?"
"No, but this story's plot does. Can you call her from Gaoling to coincidentally be there when I break the news to you?"
"You already told me the news, Katara. And I think this is a really bad joke- " Aang sighed and turned towards Sokka sadly- "see, this is what happens when she tries to have fun by herself- she just makes things awkward."
Ever-so-reluctantly, Katara of the Southern Water tribe stepped off of the ship docked at the Fire Nation Capital. For some strange, unfathomable reason -most likely a plot device- she had been chosen as the youngest Ambassador by almost twenty years to the Fire Nation. For several minutes, she pretended to seem upset and unaccepting of her unenviable new role before that particular conflict was resolved and she jumped whole-shod into her new job eagerly.
Dashing, Handsome Firelord Zuko, whose character oscillated on a periodic, sinusoidal basis between gritty, impassioned duty and sweet, tender romanticism, was there to greet her, sweep her off her feet, take off her shoes (and a whole lot more, had the scene been written for a different audience) and into his bedROOM for a strictly platonic and professional negotiation.
Of course, her friends (especially Aang, who was portrayed as immature and childish for the purposes of annoying Katara) were absent or unaware of the budding romance that had taken root.
Once again, the young heroes found themselves basking in the passion-inducing heat beneath the criss-crossed canopy of the Dogwood tree hanging over the ubiquitously-present Turtleduck pond, a completely original and heartrending metaphor for Zuko's hidden tenderness and suppressed softness.
"Oh, this is so wrong, in many ways for so many good reasons, but why does it feel so right?" Katara asked breathlessly. "Also, that was a rhetorical question. Please don't answer it- just make your actions speak for you by kissing me, Zuko."
Zuko obliged, albeit somewhat awkwardly, and he kissed her with so much fervor that he didn't see Mai staring at him, open-mouthed. Of course, from previous encounters with her eventual demise by character assassination or plot device in countless scenarios before, she knew better than to try to fight. She left quietly and disappeared, never to be seen again, at least not in direct proximity to the main characters, an action which had become a disgustingly common trope in itself, but nevertheless seemed to be the least evil way to solve her and Zuko's dilemma - even if it made her seem like a spineless gold-digger.
But do not let that trouble you! Have faith, for the most succulent part of the paradoxically forbidden and inevitable romance between the Fiery Waterbender and the Cool Firebender was still to come!
After an indeterminate time (several months, usually) Aang appeared.
"WHAT IS THIS?! I TRUSTED BOTH OF YOU-"
But before he continued further, Aang looked back on his previous encounters with unreasonable people - and that direct confrontation almost always never worked. In this case, acting out of character would in fact make him look bad, even when similar amounts of uncharacteristic behavior by the two protagonists of the story had the opposite effect of endearing them both to the audience. Ignoring the pain of the double standard, Aang resolved to try to make Katara jealous in the most natural and effortless way possible - by being himself.
For some reason, the story didn't end up as expected when even one of the main characters decided to act in-character for once. Aang visited the local Fire Nation high school and predictable hosted a dance party, and Zuko and Katara reluctantly attended.
Unfortunately, Airbenders are naturally the most acrobatic and flexible in bodily movements. After only a few minutes of watching Aang easily dance circles around crowds of captivated young women (and more than a few men hoping to pick up a thing or two, both literally and figuratively), Katara could resist no longer. She eagerly undid the hair knot holding up her Fire Nation crown and ran over to Aang's side, pushing away the gushing fangirls to the side as she neared him.
Meanwhile, from below the table, a perfectly geometrically-round pothole appeared, and Mai emerged, already well-groomed and perfumed and with a pre-made knot arranged in her hair. Unobtrusively, she placed the crown back on her head and took a well-deserved sip of spiced red plum wine.
Zuko didn't even notice - he was too busy carefully studying the dance movements to try to learn them himself. Even as he struggled with them, he knew he was never going to give it up - and was never going to let it down.
Honor!