Vita Brevis Chapter 4
AN: I'm so terribly sorry for the massive delay on this chapter. I was going through some things that left me too drained to even consider writing on most days. I appreciate all your patience and support while I struggled to get this chapter ready and I hope you all find it to be worth the wait!
The ride home tonight is a quiet one. Lily Everdeen has never been one for music during car rides, and Katniss usually tries to ease her back into the noise of the outside world once she's discharged. The only sound other than the beat-up sedan's motor is the clicking of her mother's nails against one another as she picks them ragged. Katniss sighs every so often just to fill that void of empty, silent space.
She's not sure why she still gets like this every time her mother comes home from Greenfields. It's always unsettling for a few days, as though both women are walking on thin ice, waiting to see if the bottom will drop out again. No matter how many times they do this, Katniss always expects everything will come crashing down around them again right away when in reality it usually takes a few months for things to get bad again.
"It's warm out," her mother states flatly. It's not really that warm. The snow has mostly melted, but it's still near freezing outside.
"Yeah," Katniss agrees because it's just easier that way.
Silence fills the space again until she pulls up along the curb in front of their home. Katniss cuts the engine, but neither woman moves to get out of the car. Everything is so fragile right now; Katniss is so frightened that she'll say one wrong thing, make one wrong move that will set her mother back from all the progress she's made over the last week.
"I thought I would make us beef stew for dinner. I know it's your favorite," her mother offers quietly, still picking away at her already jagged nails. Katniss fights the urge to smack her mother's hands like she would a petulant child.
"Sounds good," Katniss replies as she finally gets out of the car. In all actuality, Katniss doesn't like beef stew that much. It was always Prim's favorite, not hers. But Lily Everdeen has always struggled to remember details such as these about her daughters. Katniss figures it's difficult to remember little things like that when you're in and out of hospitals the entire time your daughters are growing up. She tries not to hold it against the older woman.
Katniss opens the door to the old house and lets her mother pass inside first. Lily breathes in deeply, a tender smile tugging at the corners of her mouth when she turns to look at her eldest daughter again.
"It looks nice."
Katniss shrugs. She hasn't done anything to it since her mother left besides clean it up a bit. Her mother had taken to shopping during her most recent manic episode and the place had looked like the dwelling of a true hoarder before they managed to get Lily committed again. "It's clean at least," Katniss offers with a smile that she suspects looks more grim than inviting.
Lily nods slowly as she heads wordlessly for the kitchen. Katniss eyes the older woman until she rounds the corner into the back of the house. Her mother seems serene, peaceful in a way Katniss has never seen her and it leaves her feeling wary of the entire situation. Cinna had explained they started her mother on a new medicine, one meant to stabilize her mood using different neuroreceptors than any of the medications she's previously tried. It seems too damn good to be true. The fix can't be that easy.
Katniss hurries off to her room to call Prim. It only rings twice before her baby sister's voice comes over the line. "Hey, Katniss! It's been a while since you called."
Katniss can hear voices in the background and she decides to try and make this conversation short. Prim has made a life for herself away at school: a normal, stable, happy life, and Katniss doesn't wish to impede on that with news of their mother's latest discharge from the psych facility.
"Yeah," Katniss says as cheerfully as she can manage, "Things have been busy here. Um, Mom got out today. I thought I'd just give you a ring and let you know that."
"Really?" Prim sounds dismayed and the voices in the background fade. The sound of a door closing lets Katniss know that her sister has left the room so she can speak more freely. "Why didn't you tell me she was getting out? I would have come home."
Katniss shrugs even though she knows her sister can't see her. "You have classes to worry about. It's not like this is a one-time deal."
She hears Prim huff a frustrated sigh. The younger Everdeen has always given their mother the benefit of the doubt. She always allowed herself to hope that this would be the last time, this would be the time that their mother's meds were perfect and she wouldn't relapse again. Katniss gave up on that hope a long, long time ago. She figures it's an inevitable fact of her life that she will forever be following her mother to and from the psych ward.
"Still, I would have liked to have been there when she came home," Prim argues. "You know it's important for her family to be her support system once she's out."
Katniss rolls her eyes. Of course she knows that. How many years had they both accompanied their mom to family therapy?
"I know," she relents with a tired sigh. "I'm sorry. I just worry about you having too much on your plate. I know how busy they keep you with your rotations. I know it's almost impossible to take time off. Today wasn't an emergency, Prim. Save your time for when you really need it."
There's a long, pregnant pause before Prim says anything else, her voice softer than before when she asks, "How are you, Katniss? You sound tired."
"Fine," Katniss replies too quickly, "I'm doing good."
Neither sister is fooled. She's been trying to hide it from Prim, but everything involving their mother is wearing her down. Some days she feels as though she should be sixty years old the way her body aches from the worries.
"What do you do to de-stress at the end of the day?" Prim questions, her medical training taking over. Katniss tries not to roll her eyes. Her baby sister is just trying to look out for her, but she doesn't want to be picked apart and diagnosed.
"I don't know, Prim. Whatever everyone else does, I guess," Katniss replies, her irritation edging into her tone.
"Oh, so you drink at the end of the day like Uncle Haymitch?" Prim retorts coolly. Katniss closes her eyes and presses her fingers against them to will away the impending headache.
"No, I don't. I'm not Uncle Haymitch." Katniss assures quietly. "Usually I just come home and watch some television or whatever. Happy?"
Katniss doesn't mention a certain blond haired doctor whom she wouldn't mind using to relieve some stress. Prim would only make a big deal out of that entire situation. Katniss isn't even really sure where she stands with Doctor Peeta Mellark. Technically they'd only kissed that one time in his car, but she would definitely sign up for another—and more.
"I guess," Prim relents before quietly adding, "I just wish you would make some friends. You're still young. You deserve to enjoy life, sis."
"I'll work on it," Katniss replies, noting the sound of her mother setting the table. "Listen, Mom is making dinner and it sounds like she's about done, so I'm going to let you go. I'll talk to you again soon, okay?"
"Sure. And make sure you don't wait weeks to call again this time. Love you, Katniss. Tell Mom I said hi and I love her too." Prim says quickly as though she's rushing to fit everything in before Katniss just hangs up on her.
Katniss chuckles lightly. "Alright. Love you too, Prim. Bye."
She quietly makes her way to the dining room where her mother is just setting the stew on the center of the table. When she's smiling like that, she looks so much younger, more like the woman Katniss remembers from when she was a toddler. Illness has prematurely aged them all, Katniss fears.
"Prim says hi and she loves you," she reports as she settles down across from the fair-haired woman.
"Oh." Something akin to disappointment flashes across her face before she smiles up at Katniss. "That's nice."
The rest of dinner passes with hesitant pleasantries. Katniss tells her mother her work schedule for the week. Lily mulls over possibilities for dinner tomorrow night. It's a rather intricate dance they've both perfected over the years. Once Lily is finished eating, Katniss follows her into the kitchen and doles out the handful of pills that she needs to take nightly.
"Thank you," Lily says softly as she takes them all in one swallow.
Katniss nods, going about loading the dishwasher without another word. Lily heads to her room, the one she once shared with her husband before everything truly went to shit in their family. A chill pulses through Katniss's veins at the thought and she pushes it down, deep down where it belongs. She knows it wasn't really her mother's fault that her father died when Katniss was just in high school. Still, every so often her mind decides to kick her right in the gut and remind her that if her mother had been more stable perhaps her father wouldn't have been so stressed. Maybe his heart wouldn't have just given out at such a young age. It's all useless to contemplate however and she slams the dishwasher shut, punching the buttons quickly.
Her phone buzzes when she returns from the bathroom dressed in an old t-shirt and flannel pants a little while later. She glances at the glowing message on the screen that shows one missed call and a text reading:
Peeta 9:48 PM
Hey, must have missed you for the night. I haven't heard from you in a while. Thought maybe we could catch up tomorrow night?
She closes her eyes tightly as she flops down on her bed, clutching her phone firmly to her chest. She hasn't seen or spoken with Peeta since the day she left his apartment so suddenly over a week ago. He's been off duty and she's been spending so much time at Greenfields preparing for her mother to return home that she's hardly had any time to think about anything else, especially her love life—or whatever it is going on between her and Peeta.
Lifting the phone from her chest, she slowly types back her message.
Katniss 10:17 PM
That sounds great, but I'll have to see how the day progresses. I might have some things to take care of.
She doesn't wait for his response before she turns off the device and tosses it on her bedside table. Pulling the blankets around her, she tries her best to quiet her mind and all of its rushing thoughts. It's going to be a long night if she can't slow down.
…
"Lily, what is all of this?" Daddy demands when he walks into the bedroom. He doesn't notice Katniss where she sits in the center of the giant bed surrounded by bags from the stores Mommy took her to early this morning.
"It's not a big deal." Mommy shrugs as she continues putting away the pretty dresses she bought. She flashes a brilliant smile at him. "I got excellent deals on everything. Don't worry."
Daddy frowns as he steps up close to her, pulling a dress from her hands. He looks angry. Katniss hates it when her daddy looks angry.
"You can't keep doing this," he says quietly in that tone he only uses when someone is in trouble. "We can't afford it. I'm already picking up extra shifts at the mill as it is. You can't keep up like this or we'll lose the house."
His words make Katniss sad, and she nestles in deeper between the bags. She likes this house and Daddy sounds very worried. He has more lines on his face today than she can remember from before.
"Why is it always my fault, James?" Mommy spits back, her lips curling into an ugly snarl as she does. "You always blame all of our troubles on me, but you never look at yourself—"
"I'm not the one going around buying things I don't need all day, Lily!" he shouts, tossing the dress onto the bed, only narrowly missing his tiny daughter. Katniss whimpers quietly, curling in on herself, trying to disappear. She doesn't like it when her parents fight. This has been happening more and more lately, but this is the first time they've yelled at each other while she's in the room.
"Have you been taking the medicine like you're supposed to? Maybe you need to see the doctor and have him change things up again—"
"Shut up! Jamie, shut up!" Mommy screeches, throwing her hands over her ears, falling to her knees on the floor. "I'm not sick! I'm fine without the medicine!"
Daddy's face grows dark as he kneels down in front of her like he does when he wants to tell Katniss something serious. "Lily, when did you stop taking your pills?"
Mommy doesn't answer, and Katniss wonders if Mommy has done something wrong done something wrong.
"Sweetheart," Daddy whispers sadly, reaching one of his big hands up to her mother's cheek, "You need to take your medicines. You remember what the doctor said. You'll end up in the hospital again if you don't take them —"
"I don't need them!" she insists.
"You do!" Daddy shouts, causing Katniss to flinch. He never shouts like this. "Lily, you do need them. Remember what the doctor sai—"
"It doesn't matter." Mommy cries, slinking against Daddy's chest with a sob. She was so happy earlier. This morning she'd taken Katniss by the hand and they had practically skipped through the mall with one another.
Her narrow, fragile form shudders against Daddy as she cries now though.
"I can't- I can't keep doing this, Jamie." She sobs, grasping desperately at his shirt. "I never a- asked for a-any of this."
"I know, darling. I know—"
"I didn't mean to get p-pregnant."
Daddy presses a kiss to her forehead, brushing back the pale hair from her forehead.
"We'll be okay, Lily." He gathers her into his arms. "You just have to stay on the medicines that you can like the doctor said so you won't relapse. The baby will be alright. You just can't keep doing things like this. We can't afford to live like this."
Katniss stays very quiet while Daddy continues to murmur softly into Mommy's hair. Neither one of them notices her as she slips off the bed and slinks out the door, holding back tears. She doesn't understand why her Mommy is so sad now when she was so happy today. She thinks she must have done something wrong. Daddy was angry that they went to the mall. Maybe Katniss should have tried to stop Mommy.
She tucks herself into bed tonight, and no one comes looking for her. Even as her eyes drift shut a long time later, Katniss can still hear Mommy and Daddy whispering to each other in their room. She's certain she must be at fault for what happened today.
…
"I'm going into ten," Thom informs Katniss as he passes by her seat at the nurses' station with his hands full of pills. "If I'm not out in fifteen minutes, call me and rescue me." He holds up one of the cell phones used on the unit by the nurses so they are available in case a doctor calls or a critical lab result needs to be reported.
Katniss chuckles, refraining from the eye roll that she so desperately wants to send his way. She's exhausted. Her dreams were restless all last night, and she felt as though she hadn't slept a wink when her alarm went off. But at least census is low today, meaning there are fewer patients on the unit than normal and therefore there's a bit less work to do. Because of this, they only called in Thom and her. Johanna is at home on low census. It makes for an easier day with the group of patients she has since they aren't as needy as usual.
"She's just a little old lady, Thom," Katniss points out, trying her best not to laugh at him. "Just tell her you have another patient you need to check on."
"She thinks the stuffed monkey is real, Katniss." Thom's grey eyes grow wide and a shiver runs through his body proving just how disturbed he is by the elderly patient. "I swear, if she asks me to pet the monkey one more time, I'm making you take care of her for the rest of the shift."
"No way!" Katniss argues with his retreating form as he makes his way down the hall to the patient's room. "She only wants you to pet her monkey."
Thom gags involuntarily, throwing Katniss a disgusted look before ducking into the patient's room leaving Katniss to the unusual silence of the nurses' station. She taps away at the keyboard as she updates the charting on her patients.
"That doesn't sound like any way to talk to your coworkers."
Her body shivers as his breath warms the back of her neck. Large hands come to rest on the desk on either side of the keyboard before her. He breathes in deeply before letting out a rush of warm air against her cheek, allowing the fingers of his right hand slide over to find hers, sending an electric shock up her arm.
"It's dead up here today," he observes, his voice hushed even though they're clearly alone.
"Census is low. Everyone is still at home besides Thom and me," she offers, trying not to lean back against the warmth of his chest. She pulls her hand from his and lets them come to rest on her lap. "You shouldn't do that, Peeta."
"Why not?" His tone holds a hint of amusement as he continues to press closer to her. That earthy smell laced with something that's so specifically Peeta surrounds her and she thinks it's quite possible that she could drown in him. Lucky her that it would happen in a hospital so at least help would be nearby.
"Someone might see," she explains flatly, struggling to piece together the sentence as her thoughts become hazy, earning a throaty chuckle from him.
"Who's around to see? Sounds like Thom is occupied with a monkey right about now." He spins her chair to face him and she rolls her eyes, trying to ignore the way his blue irises twinkle behind the dark frames of his glasses. "Besides," he adds, clearing his throat slightly as he straightens up, "I figured I'd have to corner you if I ever wanted to see you again."
"I—"
"You're a busy woman." Peeta smiles softly. Katniss is thankful that he doesn't sound angry with her at least. She'd been so irritated with him when he didn't call her after their first date she expected he would react in much the same way.
"So how are things going today?" he questions, pulling her away from her silent musing. "Do you think you'll have time to catch up or do you have things to do?"
"I… I was serious about that, Peeta," she stutters, cheeks flushed a rosy tint under his attentive gaze. "I have a lot on my plate right now."
A frown creases his brow, and he settles his broad frame in a chair beside her. "What's going on?" he asks, his tone laced with concern.
She doesn't like the look of worry on his face. It bothers her that his eyes aren't lit up in the way she's become so familiar with.
"It's nothing." She forces a smile to her lips. "Just busy is all."
His hand finds hers where they still rest in her lap. She lifts her gaze to meet his curiously, "So does that mean you don't have time to spare me an hour or two?"
"That woman is fucking insane!" Thom's expletive acts like a gunshot, sending the two whispering forms at the nurses' station reeling apart from one another.
Peeta recovers quickly from the surprise and stands, splaying one broad hand over his shirt, smoothing out the ruffled fabric with a grin. "That'll be one of the patients I'm seeing today, correct? I always get the strangest ones."
Thom fills Peeta in on the older woman's fixation with the stuffed monkey she keeps in her room, but Katniss doesn't hear much of what either man is saying. Instead she finds herself fixated on the way Peeta moves his hands while he talks. Normally she finds it distracting when a person is waving their hands around as they tell a story, but somehow his movements are so subtle it only adds to his meaning, providing emphasis when needed and easing the intensity of a phrase if necessary. She finds herself fascinated by the steadiness of them hiding the pure strength and precision that any good doctor is known for.
It's not until Peeta glances over at her with a smile that she realizes he's noticed her staring. She shakes her head with a blush and turns back to face her computer, resolutely ignoring both men now.
Peeta leaves to visit the elderly patient a few moments later, and Thom collapses into the chair beside her. She can feel his gaze on her and her cheeks begin to burn again. When she can't take it any longer she turns to him, finding a curious look about him when she does. The dark-haired man doesn't wait for her to ask him why he's staring though. "What's going on between you and the doctor?" His grey eyes narrow at the same time that Katniss's grow wide.
"Whatnothing!" she squeaks, turning the two words into one in her rush to get them out. A grin slowly spreads across Thom's lips as he crosses his arms over his chest, leaning back in his chair as he does.
"Nothing, huh?" He smirks, staring at her like some arrogant asshole. She wishes she could wipe that look off his stupid face. He's reminding her an awful lot of Jo today and the pestering is not something she has missed.
Katniss stands abruptly, nearly knocking her chair over as she does. "Nothing," she repeats adamantly before hurrying off to the med room to retrieve some antibiotics for two of her patients.
By the time she returns to the nurses' station, Peeta has already left the unit to see his other patients in the hospital. Thom doesn't grill her anymore about the blond doctor but she catches him staring at her several times with that silly little smirk on his lips.
…
"She has a right forearm twenty-two gauge IV running normal saline at one-twenty-five an hour," Katniss says as she looks over the sheet with details about one of her patients. The night nurse beside her nods, quickly scribbling notes on her own paper while Katniss continues to debrief the other woman. The shift passed with little excitement. Thom's monkey patient only asked him to pet her monkey once more, and Katniss can't remember a time his face has ever been redder when he left a patient's room.
"Is she up ad lib or is she a standby assist?" the other nurse questions.
"Ad lib." Katniss replies at the same moment that her phone rings from deep in the pocket of her scrubs. She sighs heavily, ready to chuck the blasted phone across the nurses' station. She hates these damn phones more than anything else. Although today hadn't been particularly bad, there are some days that she feels as though she can't get anything done because the phone is ringing constantly while she's trying to provide patient care.
"Six north this is Katniss," she answers curtly, in no mood to receive new orders when she should be giving report and finishing up her shift.
"Katniss, it's Peeta."
She's certain her eyes grow wide, betraying her surprise at hearing his voice, but thankfully the other nurse is still occupied with her note writing.
He clears his throat on the other end of the line when she doesn't answer and continues, "Can I meet you by the side entrance where you usually leave in about a half hour?"
He hadn't mentioned anything more about meeting up once he returned from seeing Thom's patient this morning. He had merely chatted pleasantly and written a progress note before heading off to see his other patients in the hospital.
But apparently he hadn't forgotten that he wanted to take her out. Or meet up with her. Or just talk. She's not entirely sure what he's expecting to do with her. Her cheeks flush when she silently admits she wouldn't mind pretty much anything he might want to do with her.
"Yes?" Her voice lifts at the end and she cringes at the questioning tone.
"Okay." She can hear him trying to hide his laughter from the other end of the line. "I hope you're hungry."
She lets out a short laugh before admitting, "I'm always hungry."
The night nurse turns to her with a skeptical look and a blush rises along Katniss's cheeks for what feels like the thousandth time today.
"I need to go," she says softly, hoping he understands that this is the kind of conversation can't be heard otherwise people will start wondering, and when people wonder, they start to talk.
"Alright," he agrees happily, "I'll see you in a bit."
The line disconnects before she can say another word and she offers the night nurse an unsteady smile. "My sister. She's cooking dinner."
The other woman nods and Katniss gives a silent sigh of relief, her answer seeming to have appeased her for now. Report is finished quickly since there are so few patients today, and Katniss quickly gathers her coat from the break room before making her way to the side entrance that Peeta indicated.
She spots him easily, leaning casually up against her car several yards away. His gaze is focused on the phone in his hand, and a smile plays lightly at his lips while he types away at the screen.
"Hi," she greets, crossing her arms over her chest as he glances up at her.
A broad grin finds his lips. "Hey!"
Katniss toes the pavement nervously. His smile makes her stomach twist in a not at all unpleasant sort of way, but she's certain that he can see the effect he has on her and the thought alone is embarrassing.
He reaches a hand out towards her. "Let's get moving. We've only got ten minutes."
She frowns. "Where are we going? Am I driving?"
"It's a surprise. And not if you give me your keys," he replies in turn, a contented smile still pulling at his lips. She narrows her eyes but hands over the keys. She barely knows him, but his driving was okay the last time he took her home and it's not as though her car is really worth much as banged up as it is.
He plucks the keys from her palm and grins, placing a hand at her elbow and guiding her to the passenger door. Katniss can't help the chuckle that escapes her lips when he unlocks the door, jimmying the keys just so so that the lock pops and he can open the door for her. After she's safely shut inside, he hurries around to the driver's side and buckles in before cranking the old engine.
The radio starts up and Katniss rolls her eyes as the familiar tones of the latest teen pop song start up. She doesn't even wait for the ridiculous lyrics to start up before reaching to change the station.
"Whoa!" Peeta's exclamation startles her and she hesitates, her fingers hovering just above the buttons.
"What?" she demands, looking over her shoulder for some semi that surely must be about to hit them judging by his reaction.
"You're crossing into some serious territory there." He nods at her hand.
"Please." She snorts in disbelief. "You can't tell me you actually enjoy listening to this garbage. Besides it's my car." Her eyes narrow and she changes the channel to one that is playing the latest acoustic hit from some singer she forgets the name of.
"I'm driving though. Driver trumps owner."
"Bullshit," she retorts quickly, resting her head back against the seat with a smug look.
Peeta's eyes narrow, trying his best to look stern, but she can see him biting at his bottom lip, trying to hold back a smile, which he fails at miserably the second his laughter fills the car. His hand reaches across the seats to find hers, their fingers tangling gently.
Katniss tries not to think about the way her nerves light up at his touch. She tries to ignore the way her palm warms against his. But she doesn't pull away from his touch, instead letting her thumb brush against his as they make their way down the busy main street. Peeta pulls off a few minutes later, parking in one of the last spots along the side of the street.
They're in front of a tiny little shop with white and blue awnings over the windows. The lights are turned down and Katniss can see the chairs already flipped up on the tabletops.
"Looks like we're too late," she states, turning back to see Peeta giving her a playful smile.
"Nah," he says easily, releasing her hand as he gets out of the car. Katniss already has the door open by the time he reaches her side and takes his proffered hand with a chuckle.
"Just hang here for a minute. I'll be right back," he says quickly, ducking in and pressing a gentle kiss to her cheek before she has a second to process what he's doing. He jogs into the shop without a second glance, leaving her standing there speechless, mouth gaping slightly.
She's not entirely sure why it shocks her so much. It's not as though she didn't kiss him the first time he took her out. She supposed she just wasn't expecting things to pick back up so easily. She's surprised that he doesn't seem to have any resentment towards her for practically disappearing on him after that afternoon they spent at his apartment.
Katniss pulls out her phone, checking her messages. There's one from Prim, checking to see how things are going at home. Another from Cinna checking in on her mother. And three more from Lily Everdeen herself, wondering how work was going, wondering when she was planning to be home, asking if she would want to have dinner together.
She sighs heavily, hitting the buttons to dial her mother's cell phone. This is normal. There's always an adjustment period after her mother is discharged from the hospital. Lily Everdeen always needs to find herself again in the noise and haste of the world outside those soft, cream-colored walls where she feels safest and until she does, she latches onto Katniss like a helpless child.
"Katniss," her mother answers after one ring. Her voice sounds pleased, as though she couldn't quite expect her daughter to call her back. "Did you get my messages?"
"Yeah, Mom," Katniss replies softly, "I won't be home until later tonight. Just go ahead and have dinner without me, okay?"
"Oh." There's shuffling of pans in the background. "Alright then. Are you okay? Do you want me to fix you a plate so you can heat it when you get home?"
"No, that's okay," Katniss says, trying to ignore the nagging feeling she always gets when she leaves her mom alone like this right after she gets home. "I'll pick something up while I'm out. I'm not sure how late I'll be."
"Is everything okay?" The worry in her mother's voice is obvious.
"Yeah, Mom, everything's good," she assures the older woman. It feels as though she's been doing this ever since she was a little girl. "I'll see you when I get home."
Her mother says her goodbyes and Katniss ends the call just as Peeta walks out of the shop again carrying a pizza box and a paper package in one hand. A breeze catches the food's scent and Katniss groans as the aroma fills her.
"I figured you'd be up for just about anything and this is the best pizza in town," he informs her as he opens the car for her again and settles the food in the back seat.
"You'd be right," she agrees easily once he pulls away from the curb and heads in the direction of his apartment. "The cafeteria didn't really have anything edible in the way of food today."
He shoots her a goofy smile, pushing the dark frames of his glasses back up the bridge of his nose. It's a quick drive from the pizza parlor to Peeta's apartment, and they ride in relative silence save for Peeta occasionally humming along to the song on the radio.
His apartment looks almost identical to the last time she was here. The only difference she notes is the lack of tissues surrounding the black leather couch. Peeta sets the food on the counter and pulls out a roll of paper towels, slapping them on the counter with a proud smile.
Katniss arches an eyebrow in question.
"Dinner is served," he says without ceremony as he pulls out a cheesy slice of pizza and stuffs half of it into his mouth in one bite.
She laughs in spite of herself, stepping forward to pull a paper towel off the roll before taking a slice for herself. "You're a true bachelor," she observes before taking a bite. If he wasn't so damn endearing, she might find it in herself to be insulted that he doesn't think she's worth a plate. But who is she kidding anyway? She just uses the pizza box itself as a plate when she's home alone.
Her eyes nearly roll into the back of her head as the flavors flood her mouth while she chews. He was right. This is damn good pizza. And Katniss should know. She's eaten at nearly ever pizza place in the city.
"A bachelor. What's that supposed to mean?" he retorts once he's finished off his first slice of pizza and pulls a breadstick and a container of marinara sauce out of the paper package he had also carried out of the restaurant.
"It means that you're a real romancer, Peeta Mellark." She snorts and takes another bite, savoring the blend of sauce and cheese. "I don't think I've ever had a man feed me off of paper towels before."
"It's all the rage in France right now," he replies smoothly, passing her a breadstick despite the half eaten slice of pizza in her hand.
"Right." She rolls her eyes, laughing as she does. His eyes light up at the sound, watching her closely. A blush flushes her cheeks, spreading like wildfire under his gaze.
"Do you want a plate?" he questions earnestly, glancing over his shoulder at the row of cabinets, one of which is sure to hold the dinnerware in question.
She shakes her head and stuffs a huge bite into her mouth, earning a satisfied grin from him in the process.
"My kind of girl." He winks before proceeding to rapidly down another slice of pizza. She wonders how he can even breathe while he's eating like that—and also if this blush will ever leave her cheeks.
"So," he starts as he grabs two cans of Coke out of the refrigerator behind him, "what have you been up to? You've been MIA for, like, two weeks now."
She stuffs a bite of breadstick into her mouth and shrugs, giving herself time to come up with some reasonable excuse for her disappearance. There really isn't one, though.
"I've just been busy with family stuff. My mom hasn't been feeling her best." It's not a lie at least. Katniss knows she can't lie worth a damn.
"Really?" Peeta frowns, concern filling those blue eyes that she's become so familiar with over such a short period of time. "Is she feeling any better now?"
"Yeah." She nods slowly, "She's getting there. What about you? What exciting things has Dr. Mellark been up to?"
"Nothing." He laughs as though the very thought that he would be doing anything of interest is unbelievable. "Just working a lot. When I come home, I go to sleep and then do it all over again."
"I think saving lives constitutes as something," she argues, playfully kicking his leg beneath the counter.
He arches a pale eyebrow in response. "You of all people should know it's usually nothing like that."
Katniss laughs because she knows exactly what he means. The days where one feels as though they've actually saved a patient's life are far and few between. That perception is largely media based.
"You know," Peeta continues, leaning across the counter so his face is only inches from hers, "we've known each other for ages now, but I really don't know much of anything about you. You're still every bit the mystery you were when I met you, Katniss Everdeen."
"Two months doesn't really count as ages, I don't think," she retorts easily, dipping a piece of breadstick in the marinara sauce between them before shoving the messy bite past her lips. "What do you want to know?"
"Everything," he replies without a moment's hesitation. She glances up finding him staring down at her with unexpected intensity, the blue of his irises darker than normal.
She coughs in surprise, nearly choking on her food in the process. She practically cringes from embarrassment, but Peeta laughs. Her cheeks burn under his stare and she scowls at him as his final chuckles die down. Reaching a thumb out, he quickly swipes at the corner of her lips.
"You had a little." He holds out his thumb to show the red sauce that must have gotten on lip in the process of stuffing her face.
Peeta gives a cheeky grin and licks his thumb clean, never dropping his gaze from hers as he does. Something coils warmly inside of her at the sight and she doesn't think it has anything to do with the delicious meal she just had.
Slowly, Peeta makes his way around the counter, turning Katniss so her back is pressed up against the cool granite once he comes to stand in front of her.
"Thanks," she whispers, suddenly breathless as his hands find her hips.
He gives her a crooked little smile while his thumbs work circles against her pelvic bones. His smell is intoxicating just as it was this morning and Katniss finds herself unable to think clearly.
"You know, I've been dying to get you like this since that first night I took you out," he murmurs, bending slightly so his lips brush the shell of her ear when he speaks. "You ran out so quick the last time you visited I didn't get the chance."
She shivers involuntarily, turning slightly so she can meet his gaze. He's only inches away; she could lean just a bit forward and she would be kissing him. She wants to say something. She wants to explain why she left so abruptly that day. But she knows that they aren't ready to go there yet—if they ever will be. So instead she takes a shaky breath, trying to ignore the trail of goose bumps his fingers are leaving against her skin.
"Sorry," she whispers breathlessly, letting a hand find its way up his torso to weave in the tangle of golden curls atop his head.
His eyelids droop heavily behind the frames of his glasses and he makes a throaty sound that Katniss hopes is a sign of forgiveness before he dips his head, his lips finding hers.
She melts against him, allowing his hands to explore as they roam against her waist, along her ribcage, tentatively brushing the underside of her breasts. Their lips meld together as he sucks the tender skin of her bottom lip between his, nipping lightly at it before laving his tongue against it. Katniss mewls quietly, digging her fingers against his scalp and earning a deep moan from him as she does.
She feels his rapid heartbeat pounding in his chest where it's pressed tightly against her own and she wonders if he can't feel her own heart beating frantically as his hands map her body.
His lips release hers and she lets out a quiet whine that earns a throaty chuckle from him. He brushes a hand against her dark hair before pressing a quick kiss to the crown of her head.
"We should slow down. We're supposed to be catching up," he suggests, slightly breathless as his hand finds hers. "I've just wanted to do that since the day you came to visit me when I was sick."
His tongue darts out against his bottom lip briefly before disappearing again and something deep inside Katniss's belly clenches at the sight. Damn. When did she start wanting him this badly?
"Will you stay and watch a movie or something?" he asks cautiously, his blue eyes peering out from beneath their dark frames like some hesitant schoolboy when only moments before he'd been ready to take her right there against the kitchen counter.
Katniss worries her lip for a moment before nodding. "Sure. But only if it's a good one."
Peeta smiles playfully, tugging gently at her hand that's still wrapped snuggly in his own as he guides her to his couch. She plops down on the cushion, more than willing to let him cue up whatever movie they choose after a long shift spent on her feet.
He turns the television on and pulls up Netflix, choosing some new rom-com that Katniss has never heard of before he settles in beside her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. Gently, as though fearful she'll push him away, he tugs her closer until she settles her cheek against his chest while he toys with the end of her braid. The movie is mostly lost on her as she focuses on the soft brush of his hand against her side, right near her breast. She wonders what he would do if she guided his hand just a little lower.
His chest rumbles with laughter when the male costar of the film somehow manages to lock himself out of his apartment and has to ask the old cougar lady next door to help him get back inside. Katniss smiles, but not because she finds the movie particularly funny; she likes the sound and feel of his laughter more. It makes her insides flutter in a way she's never felt before.
Her eyelids grow heavier as the film continues and she relaxes more against Peeta's firm, warm chest. At one point he leans over, brushing his lips against her hair lightly before straightening up again.
…
She wakes up completely disoriented to the muffled sound of her ringtone. She doesn't understand why the hell someone would be calling her in the middle of the night. Everyone knows she goes to bed early since she works early hours. Katniss snuggles into the warm sheets below her until she realizes that they aren't sheets at all. Peeta gives a sniffle when she sits up suddenly, but he doesn't wake. She glances around with bleary eyes, the Netflix screen lighting up the room too brightly for her liking. She fumbles her way to the kitchen where her phone is still ringing in her bag.
"Hello?" she asks, not bothering to look at the screen before answering the call.
"Catnip, where the hell are you?" Gale's gruff voice asks from the other end of the line.
Katniss frowns, glancing at the neon numbers flashing on the stove across from her. 2:48. Shit.
"I'm—um—I'm at a friend's place," she mumbles quietly into the receiver. The last thing she wants to do is wake Peeta. "I'm heading home now."
"What do you mean you're at a friend's place?" he demands, sounding tired and irritated all at once. "I called Jo and she didn't have any idea where you were. Your mom is a mess, Katniss. She thinks you've left."
Her heart plummets to the ground with his words. Closing her eyes, she takes a deep breath to try and gather herself. Of course her mother must have called Gale when she woke up for her late night glass of water and saw that Katniss still wasn't home.
"What did you tell her?" she asks, her voice trembling with worry as she attempts to tug on her jacket one-handed.
"I told her that I'd find you," he states exasperatedly. I told her there's no way you'd leave her."
Katniss heaves a sigh of relief, thankful that Gale has been a part of her life for so long. He knows how to handle her mother and all the fears that come with her illness.
"Thank you. I'm leaving now," she says before hanging up, still struggling one-handed with her jacket.
She nearly screams when a large hand grasps her wrist, pulling it back until it finds the sleeve that she was looking for. Turning, she finds Peeta looking down at her with a perplexed, still half-asleep gaze.
"You don't have to leave you know." He frowns and runs a hand through his messy curls as she reaches for her purse. "You could stay the night. I won't try anything funny. Promise."
She shoots him a weak smile. "I have to go. I'm sorry."
And she really is. She would give just about anything to snuggle against his chest and play with his tangled hair until they both fall asleep again. Unfortunately that really isn't an option.
His forehead scrunches up. "It's late. You shouldn't be driving home."
"I'm alright," she assures him as she pulls on her shoes. "I've driven when I was more tired than this before. Thank you for tonight. It was really nice."
"Does that mean you'd do it again sometime soon?" he asks with a lopsided smile.
She nods, stepping up and quickly placing a kiss against his lips, still soft from sleep. "Definitely."
"Will you tell me why you're rushing out again the next time I see you?" He suddenly sounds ten times more awake than he had only moments earlier and Katniss freezes.
"Maybe," she replies softly, her silver eyes finding his in the dark room.
He knows. She can tell he knows she's hiding something, but he's a decent enough guy not to pry, and her heart melts a little bit more for Peeta Mellark because of it.
He steps forward instead and pulls her to him, his strong arms encircling her narrow waist deliciously. Her hands come to rest naturally on the back of his neck, and he stares at her. She can't find the words to ask so instead she tugs at the fine hairs at the back of his neck until he lowers his lips to capture hers.
Her heart thuds strongly against her chest as she nips lightly at his lips, but the kiss is over almost before it began and he presses one last, chaste kiss to her lips before stepping back. She stands, momentarily stunned until she shakes her head and backs further out the door.
"Bye, Peeta," she says, biting her bottom lip to try and mask the goofy smile pulling at her lips.
"Goodnight, Katniss." He smiles brightly, giving her a little wave when she turns around once she reaches her car.
The moment she reaches the first red light on her drive home, she lets her head fall to the steering wheel with a thud. She must be the only grown woman who still has to hurry home like she has a curfew. God only knows what Peeta must be thinking about her grand exit tonight.
Her phone vibrates on the seat beside her and she answers it, already knowing exactly who is calling and she tries to keep the bitterness from her voice.
"I'm on my way home, Mom. Don't worry. I'll be there in ten minutes."
AN: Please feel free to let me know what you thought! I love hearing from you. As always, you can find me on tumblr at therebelliondies.
A special thanks to Court81981 for taking the time to beta. She's just the best and if you aren't reading her stories, you should be. She's not only a great person, but a fantastic writer.