Thank you all again for the lovely reviews you've been sending me. I'm really glad you guys seem to like the story! Sorry this chapter's a bit shorter but I'm quite tired.

Note: in this chapter, there is a flashback within a flashback... hope no-one's confused.

Disclaimer: they're not mine. If they were, well, I'd be too busy to get on here.

Chapter 4

We once worked at a zoo. I worked there because Howard wanted me to and he – well, I'm not sure why he worked there. Perhaps he told me and I forgot.

That happens sometimes. Stuff that I forget. Sometimes it's cause I was drunk. Sometimes it's not. Sometimes stuff just drifts out of my head. Which isn't really surprising. My head isn't that large. I reckon, if I had another two or three hands, I could cover the whole thing, which gives you an idea of its approximate size.

Approximate is a word I learnt from Howard. I learn a lot of words from Howard. He once told me the approximate amount of food to give to an armadillo and I didn't know what that meant so he explained it. I don't forget stuff Howard tells me.

Anyway, as I was saying, my head isn't really that big, and I think probably over half of it is taken up thinking about my best friend. Then obviously I have other stuff to think about, like Topshop, and Gary Numan. So I don't have much space for memories.

We once worked in a zoo. I liked it there most of the time. That was where we met Naboo, who's a shaman but I think I might have told you that before, and Bollo.

There was this zoo party. To celebrate something the owner had done, like inventing a self-tying shoe or something. I thought that was stupid because I don't wear shoes with laces anyway. But there was this party and we were all expected to go because we were the zoo keepers. I didn't want to go because I knew it would be boring, because no-one there was anything like me and they wouldn't listen to good music. Then I heard Naboo was going and I cheered up, but only for about a minute because I knew he'd spend the whole time getting stoned so I wouldn't be able to talk to him.

"You won't? Talking to you is like talking to someone who's constantly high," said Howard.

"Ha-ha-ha," I said, not thinking it was funny. I thought it was sad because I don't like it when he says things like that. It makes me wish I could show him that I'm not just his ditzy little friend. I can think. I'm thinking now, see?

I can think about him. Oh, can't I just?

Anyway we had to go to this party and, as I expected, it was boring – totally boring, like Howard's clothes. But I went because he wanted to. He wanted to go because he was hoping to have it off with this woman who worked at the zoo, Mrs Gideon.

That was one thing I didn't like about working at the zoo. There was always that woman there. Okay, it wasn't like there was any danger of Howard actually doing anything with her – she couldn't even remember his name – but even so. He thought about her when I wanted him to be thinking about me. This was when I was younger and not quite as clever and so I didn't know that would never happen, ever.

I first met this woman when Howard was showing me round the zoo when I first came to work there. We were by the reptile house and she came barging out and almost knocked Howard over. She didn't even seem to notice. She just elbowed him out her way.

Well, I thought this was a bit of a cheek, really, so I said, loudly, "Oi! He was walking there!"

She stopped then. "Hello," she said, "Are you new?"

"Yeah," I said, "And he was walking there!"

"Who?" she said.

I nodded to Howard, who had gone the colour of this shirt I have with frilly sleeves. Bright red.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't notice you," she said – finally. Then: "Are you new, too?"

"I thought you said you'd been here about a year!" I said.

Howard opened and closed his mouth a few times.

"Oh well, must go. Nice to meet you," she said to me, ignoring Howard, and off she went.

"What a –!"

"Vince, don't."

"Oh, you can talk again now?" I said.

"Yeah… you shouldn't have shouted at her like that."

"But she just barged into you! Are you going to –?" Then I looked at him. "You like her," I said, smiling.

"Stop it. Don't you want to see the elephants?"

"Yeah. But you like her. You like her."

It felt a bit weird saying it. Even then, it felt a bit weird.

Anyway again, we went to the party because Howard was hoping to have it off with Mrs Gideon and I knew he wouldn't and I knew he'd need me there when he didn't. It actually turned out that he didn't even get a chance to talk to Gideon because she was there with this panda she'd recently hooked up with. That panda liked me first but I didn't want to be tied down. At least, not to the panda. Maybe to someone else…

So Howard drank three glasses of wine and a bit of punch to drown his sorrows. He wanted to write poetry about his terrible rejection but after drinking that he was too drunk – he isn't used to alcohol. So I had to lug him off. He was hanging off my arm and singing very loudly. Singing, "There's a staaaaaaaaaaarman, waiting in the sky...!" I knew I'd influenced him in some way. I somehow managed to get him back to the zoo keepers' hut we shared without getting my hair too rumpled.

That was when we kissed for the first time.

Sorry. Couldn't resist...

Hope you enjoyed.

violence x