"So Cam… your sexual experiences with Booth were adequate?" I twirl the straw in my glass absentmindedly, watching my troubles swirl round and round in the glass.
"Dr. Brennan, I am not sure if we should be discussing this. I may be your friend but I am still your boss."
"But I need to know." My eyes finally flutter up as the alcohol begins to burn, "Logically I need to know all the aspects I am giving up by signing this paper."
"So you still have not signed the form to assign you another agent?"
I reach in my purse, pull out a crumpled piece of paper and slide it in front of Cam.
"So that answers that one…" She slides it back and sighs. "I do have one question for you, if you don't mind me asking that is."
"Cam…" I slightly slur, "We are at the bar on a Tuesday night, all professional logistics have little meaning in this casual setting."
"I see you are still very… in touch with your scientific side while drunk."
"I don't know what you mean." I shrug, it is useless pretending to care, "But that was not a question, I assume you still have one?"
"Yes… so are you not signing this paper because you believe you signing it has some direct correlation to Seeley staying or do you feel as if you would be letting him down by signing this paper and in essence severing your partnership?"
"You sound just like Sweets." I groan before slamming the rest of my scotch.
"I know we have not always seen eye to eye or even been friends but over the years… you have sort of grown on me. I do care about you Dr. Brennan. Although Seeley was my friend first as I see it now, you both are my friends."
"And you want to know if this is going to affect my ability to perform my job duties sufficiently?"
"Well that too but…"
"I get it Cam." I let out an exacerbated breath, trying to weigh the pros and cons of confiding in someone who clearly has made up her mind about whose side she is on. "First, I will have you know I can sufficiently perform my duties as forensic anthropologist."
"But will you be happy?" She blurts out then blushes. "I mean… I am sure you have noticed but Dr. Brennan you have not smiled in weeks… you have not smiled since… well you know when."
"I have no clue what you are talking about." I shrug, motioning for another drink.
"Dr. Brennan you may think I am clueless to anything other than our objectives in the field but I am very aware of my surroundings. Three weeks and two days ago Booth came in your office to discuss his new promotion, ever since then you have been working until the wee hours of the morning, going home for a few hours then coming back and working eighteen hour days."
"Not every day!" I defensively glare.
"Well most days. And every other day you have spent here, getting drunk then calling one of us to pick you up. I don't mind doing any of this because I am more than your boss, I am your friend but if this continues I…"
"Cam! I am depressed… I need to see someone… I get it…" I bark, shaking my glass in her direction, "You are going to tell me what everyone else has been telling me for the last three weeks. 'I love him, I need to stop pretending he isn't hurting me, I need to get over him' I have heard it all Cam! I am sick of everyone belittling my feelings." I begin to slowly sob, "Don't you think if I could get him to stay I would? If he needs money he can have my whole bank account! I don't care about any of those things anymore. All I care about is him leaving me."
My head comes crashing down on the counter as I let the tears of the last three weeks envelope me and take hold of my body. I shake violently until I feel a soft reassuring hand rub light circles on my back.
"Have you ever thought of telling him this, Dr. Brennan?" She whispers softly as my shaking ceases.
"But he doesn't care." I finally look up, letting her into the pits of eternal hell without him, "If he cared he would stay."
"Just tell him. He needs to understand what his leaving is doing to you."
"But I told him I love him, what else can I say?" I choke out before the tears take hold once more.
"You are smart and known him better than anyone else, just think about it and I am sure it will come to you." She smiles at me once more before grabbing her coat and standing, "Now I have to get home to a teenager that is currently destroying my apartment. Will you be okay?"
I nod, forcing a smile on my face. It is not until she reaches the door that I gather the strength to speak.
"Thanks Cam."
"Anytime Dr. Brennan. Just remember one thing, he loves you too."
I shrug and turn back to the bottle before me. I take one last swig of the liquid and let out a sigh as I collapse in a heap on the counter.
"You know you shouldn't put your head on the counter like that, you are gonna smash up that pretty little face of yours." I hear bellowing behind me and I gasp.
"Jared?" I jerk up and smile.
"In the flesh." He beams, "Now what are you doing here on a Tuesday? Shouldn't you be out knocking boots with Seeley?"
"I wish" I mumble before letting my head fall onto his chest, "Jared… can I ask you something?"
"Sure Tempe. Anything." He smiles, picking my beer up and drinking the rest, "Man that tastes good… almost as good as you."
"Why is your brother running from me?"
"He's an idiot." He slurs, "Why don't you come back to my place and we'll talk?" He winks and the twinkle in his eyes says he only wants one thing.
Internally I knew I shouldn't have gone but being a woman who hasn't felt the touch of a man in months craved any comfort I could get. As he slowly carries me to his car I feel the hallow pit in my stomach begin to grow. This just reconfirms what I have always known; he is the only one that will make me whole.
My eyes slowly roll closed as I force myself to a happier place. A time where I was with the man I love. Even if he didn't know I love him, at least I had him.
"I'll love you forever…" I whisper into the wind, hoping I could stay in that place always, "Forever…"