OK, continuing on. Enjoy! Thanks for reviewing, Pricat, and sorry it took so long.

I didn't waste any more time after that. Even though Artie had specifically mentioned that I shouldn't follow him, I ran to keep up with him, anyway.
He barely noticed me when I began to walk alongside him. He didn't even look up, and his fair hair was covering his eyes anyway. I didn't say a word to him, and if he did notice me, he didn't tell me to go away.

It didn't take long until I heard Shrek's heavy foot falls, and I just knew my face would be on fire soon. Using teenage slang when you're in your twenties or older just sounded wrong. When I glanced behind Shrek, I spotted Donkey and Puss looking at each other. I smiled at them and shrugged, letting them know the whole negative-about-being-king incident was out of my mind. After all, who could stay mad at those two sidekicks, of all animated characters? (I think Donkey's likeability is through the roof! And just don't get me started on Puss, cute face or not.)

The minute Shrek began to try to speak teenage language, I murmured stuff to myself, trying not to listen. My head only snapped up when Artie broke into a run right up to the house (Merlin's, if I remembered the movie), screaming "Somebody help! I've been kidnapped by a monster who's trying to relate to me!"

I turned to Shrek. "Maybe that wasn't the best tactic." I said. "He is a teenager. And teenagers get moody. I should know."

Shrek glanced around for a moment, then he said "Well, I'm past the times. Maybe that was a stupid thing to do."

"Maybe?" I teased. "Definitely. Don't talk like a teen. I think just leaving him alone and then trying to approach the subject would have worked." I smiled, though. Even if I hated the movie, I couldn't actually be mean. Blunt, yes, but I did have a conscience.

Even though I'd seen the movie, I jumped when Merlin's recording appeared, and was relieved when he came out and we got introduced.

"What we need are directions back to Far Far Away." Shrek said, as I stood by.

"What's with the 'we'?" Artie demanded. "Who said I was going with you?"

"I did! Cause there's a lot of people counting on you. So don't try and weasel out of it!" Shrek ordered.

"If it's such a great job, why don't you do it?" Artie demanded.

I knew Shrek was actually the other heir, but I didn't let on, knowing I would have to let the plot flow. I was wondering if I should step in.

"Understand this, kid, it's no more Mr Nice Guy from here on out!" Shrek snapped.

"Oh, so that was your Mr Nice Guy?"

"I know, and I'm gonna miss him."

Suddenly, I knew what I'd have to do. It was partly reverse psychology, partly the truth.

"I think you're right, Artie." I said sweetly. "You don't want to be king, you don't know anything about it, so you should just not start anything."

The boy wasn't stupid, though. He seemed to know what I was going to say. "You mean that I should go back? Seems weird, since you wanted me to go there twenty minutes ago." His blue eyes were suspicious.

I shrugged. "Well, you have two choices. Go rule Far Far Away like you seemed to be excited about an hour ago, or go back to high school and get picked on by the jousting team for being weak and having that crush on Gwin (who by the way, is about as nice as a murderess Lolita)."

"Well, when you say it that way..." Artie fixed his gaze on the ground, but I saw his eyes soften. "And by the way," he added, "I just think Gwin's pretty. But you're kind of pretty in a weird way." Then his head jerked up and his eyes were hard again. "But that does not mean being king will be any better than high school! And if you're so desperate not to have to go back, you're able to leave, so why don't you just go somewhere else!" He turned back to Shrek. "And why don't you go terrorize a village and leave me alone too?"

"Oh, is that some kind of crack about ogres?" Shrek snapped right back. I didn't bother answering verbally. I pointedly folded my arms and put on my most sickly-sweet smile – the type I gave Kat when she was being annoying, or the type I would give my older siblings when they conned me into doing their chores when they were still alive. It was the type that said "You can't hurt me or make me leave that way."

But at the same time, I was thinking about how Artie called me pretty. In a fairytale world like this, 'pretty' wasn't too innocent a word for a teenage boy to use for a girl, like it seemed to be in my world. I mean, hot was what Justin's friends would call me when he would talk about the relationship. But I didn't know what pretty would be in this world. I'm pale with blue eyes and brown hair with traces of red. It was, at that moment, drying and it was still in yesterday's braid. I couldn't think I was pretty at that time. So I had to wonder; did "pretty in a weird way" mean that he liked me in that way or did it just mean exactly what it said?

Finally, when Shrek again asked Merlin for directions, he refused to help unless we took the 'journey to the soul'.

I wasn't sure whether this would be good for me, or terrifying.

Find out what Mariah sees in the next chapter. Now just review, PLEASE!