The Way She Did
"I was married,"Jack said coming up behind her.
Kate stayed put, her arms across her chest, staring out to see. She didn't turn around, and he did not come closer.
She fought the temptation to turn around and read his face to know where that was coming from given that he had not spoken to her all week and knowing Jack wasn't big on openning up, but still she focused her stare towards the horizon.
He dug his hands in his pockets and bit his lower lip, unsure of why he was telling her this and where he was going with it.
He waited a moment for her to turn, although he knew she wouldn't, ultimately she was more stubborn than he was.
"She came into the ER with a broken back and everyone said, knew, that there was no chance she would ever walk again, even me, but I operated on her and she was fine," Jack blurted out the words like he had no control over his own mouth, "I fixed her," he scoffed.
Kate, pinned down in her position at the shore, had blocked out the sounds of the island, the waves and the wind and could only hear Jack. She had known him for two months, longer than she had known most people she had met, yet she did not really know him. One thing she knew, however, was that Jack was no open book, yet here he was actually giving her something real. As much as her heart was begging her to turn to him, her head forced her to keep her walls up as he was starting to crack his.
Jack found himself going on like a tape that was stuck on play, "we started going out and we got engaged. I guess I thought I loved her, maybe I did, or maybe I thought I had to, like it was my duty," Jack sneered.
Kate chewed the inside of her cheek, to stop herself from doing anything else, she might regret or thought that she might. She uncrossed her arms from her chest. with her right hand tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and held it on the back of her neck, as she bit on the nails of her right hand.
"I guess the problem was not only my feelings but also hers. I thought she loved me, as in me, but she..." Jack paused.
He took a few steps towards Kate, and she felt him approach her. He needed to tell her, but he needed to do so to her face.
"Kate," he said, but she did not respond, "Kate, please," he said, his voice pleading.
Slowly and stubbornly she turned around, meeting his gaze and seeing for once, even though very slightly, Jack, purely as Jack.
"she made me a hero, she saw me as a hero, a man I am not, and a man I can not be," Jack said, "she loved that man. I guess I should have known I was going to fail her, that it would never work or be real because whatever I did I could never live up to the image she had built of me. It was ... just... the way she looked at me, wanted me always to be so perfect."
He paused, and searched Kate's eyes as his begged her, "Kate, just please, don't look at me the way she did."