..:AN: Hey I'm so sorry it's taken me so long to update. I just got back to school for second semester and I went away this weekend to visit my boyfriend in Toronto for Valentines. I'm not abandoning this I promise! Thanks for all the reviews! Enjoy!::..
Rory sighed as she walked into the lobby of her apartment building and opened her mailbox. After a trip to the doctor in Hartford
with her mother on Saturday it had been confirmed; the reigning Lorelai Gilmore was two weeks pregnant. All of today had been
spent partying at Sookie's with everyone drinking steaming cups of hot apple cider and munching cinnamon muffins. Rory had
convinced her mom (with a great deal of effort) to run over to the grandparents' house and break the news. Emily had cried for a
minute before screaming at the maid to not offer her pregnant daughter a drink; then argued with Richard about proper conduct.
Rory smiled as she lazily put the mail under her arm and headed to the elevator. In a few days Olivia and Lucy would be here and
she'd be able to add another mobile request to the current inventory. She couldn't help but look at her phone as she walked
towards her apartment to see if Jess had called. Upon seeing there were no missed calls she pursed her lips and unlocked the
door.
The time in Stars Hollow was busy but it was comforting. It felt like she had been in a long bubble bath and the several minutes
where she wasn't rushing around the town with her expectant mother she had been able to think.
If he hadn't contacted her by now there was probably a reason. It hurt her to think that he regretted the kiss in the airport but she
couldn't think of a reason why he hadn't called her by now. Rory tossed the mail onto the coffee table before heading to her
bedroom to change into her fleecy Yale sweats.
Rory looked at her reflection in the mirror and brushed her hair back into a ponytail. She looked different from when her and Jess
were dating; but then again so did he. Rory felt guilty as she amused herself thinking about how he would react if he saw her in
fancier attire.
She sighed as she let the idea drift down into the heating vents and walked into the living room. Maybe she should just try, as
hard as it would be, to forget the feelings she experienced while he was here.
"It seems like that's the method he's trying." Rory thought as she sat down on her couch as began shuffling through the
envelopes. As she pulled out the thickest and looked at the return address her bright blue eyes widened.
"...Or sending me this."
Rory finished her letter that night by ten-thirty and felt tired yet relaxed; like she had run a marathon but was now in a warm
bubble bath with candles easing her muscles. She was a journalist; she had always written about important invents or turned
unimportant events like parking lot pavement into brilliant masterpieces. Though she had kept meticulous diaries in her life she had
rarely written personal letters such as this; and once it had ended disastrously.
But Jess had asked her to start this. In his letter he said he didn't regret what happened at the airport and had wished that it could
happen again. Jess made several other good points about timing issues; they were both at a part in their life with a lot of changes
and uncertainties but he felt that it could help them understand when the other had something to pursue. He said he had seen this
when she didn't ask him to stay at the airport and it gave him a light bulb-like epiphany.
The part he could see giving them trouble was, as he called it, 'the blanks." Jess felt like there were large periods of time in which
they didn't know anything about the other. He felt that though he knew Rory; he didn't know adult Rory as well as he'd like. This
was why he asked her to write.
Rory had named the first part of this assignment "The Rory Chronicles" and began with Europe, Yale and attempting to start
things back up again with Dean. She didn't write specifically that she had slept with Dean but she had mentioned the affair and
believed he'd read between the lines and piece it together.
She wrote about how backpacking around Europe with her mother was the best way to experience the adventure because she
had someone to laugh with. She wrote about her graduation from Chilton and how she really wished he could have been there;
how she would of liked to see Lane and Dave dancing at prom—the four of them could have shared a table and had a fantastic
argument about the music.
She told Jess she was too hurt then to hear him say he loved her and he couldn't have asked her to go away with him at a worse
time. At that time she hadn't known what was going on his life and though she could tell he was eager; he had broken her trust in
the worst possible way earlier and by begging her to run away with him in her empty dorm he hadn't earned it back.
She put in some amusing anecdotes about Paris and Professor Fleming as well as the confusion with Marty. Rory briefly
explained the separation of her grandparents and going to Europe with her grandmother.
At the end of the letter Rory couldn't help but write something that wasn't simply about her past.
"Jess, what is "us?"
"So Shauna will read after you, okay? We thought you could maybe do the first chapter and talk about Truncheon and the
magazine a bit too?" asked the clerk. Jess nodded while being hypnotized by the many pieces of metal protruding from her face.
When she smiled every piercing caught the sunlight; it was like having tin foil flashed in front of your eyes.
"Yeah.." he said absently. He followed her up to the stool and rolled his eyes as he sat down. The entire bookshop was filled
with college students and the remainder were wearing My Chemical Romance T-shirts. "This'll be fun."
This was the third book reading so far this week and though the first time was tedious and soul squashing he was beginning to get
used to it. He had never done readings like this before but they were over fast and he ended up selling a fair amount of his
paperbacks from it.
To try and keep himself occupied he wandered the city in search of libraries and record shops during his free time. While in one
record shop in Haight-Ashbury he had found a plastic-covered album that jolted his senses. He usually wasn't one for signs but
as he paid for it and walked out of the store he wondered how in the one moment he wasn't thinking about Rory that his thoughts
could hurdle back to her.
He had received her letter this morning and read it before getting dressed or eating breakfast. Though it wasn't as strong as it
used to be he couldn't deny the pulse of anger he felt when he realized she has slept with Dean. Though he hadn't seen him in
years he still believed he was wrong for her; but she seemed to have realized it too.
He was intimidated about what she may tell him about The Blonde Dick at Yale but she had loved him. She had told him in
person that she loved him and obviously something big had happened there. Jess knew that deep down he was still the same kid
who used to get on a bus or in his car when things got too intense; but he knew if she was ever to trust him again he had to stay
put.
Rory needed to consider things; she was excessively thorough and needed to talk about situations or she'd be tense and
frustrated wondering what was happening. He knew the fact he didn't answer her question would bother her but he did the best
he could in the letter he sent her this morning.
"It's us. I know that sounds lame and all Jane Austen but that's the only way I can think of describing it. If we're going to settle
on what we're doing here I don't feel right that it'd be on paper. I think it's an in the same vicinity of each other required
situation."
"Ouch!" Rory quickly put her finger to her lips as the stinging in her finger started. She had been sorting through the microfiches in
the storage room for three hours, four cups of coffee and two paper cuts. Another intern had been searching through them and
made a disaster of the organization and Rory willingly volunteered for the job.
"Stupid shiny plastic." Turning back to the pile on the rickety table she began to double check the dates and make sure they were
in order. Though her pinkie and index finger were constantly reminding her of their discomfort she couldn't help but feel excited.
She kept thinking that sometime today Phillip Taubman had her piece in his worldly hands.
Christine and Dan had told her she had a strong writing style and had a skill with making daring statements that a paper couldn't
get penalized for. Dan had specifically said that she knew which side of the pen was up and Rory was sure that was a
compliment. All this made it much easier to sort through dusty pieces of plastic film in a stuffy room.
She had received her letter from Jess this morning; two days after he sent it. Though she was disappointed he hadn't answered
her main question she understood and to lessen the blow he had answered many of her unanswered questions from before.
Jess said he left because he couldn't tell her he failed and Luke kicked him out. She had always believed in him and he had been
lying to her about Wal-mart and his attendance and she had believed in his abilities. He had visited his father and met his crazy
girlfriend with her Lord of the Rings dogs and realized how not fatherly Jimmy was.
It took him a long time and even a few Stars Hollow visits to realize that Luke was the closest thing he had ever had to a father.
He said the smartest things he ever did was make peace with Luke and listening to Rory. Though it may not have worked in the
conventional way; they had saved him from spending his life in a forklift at Wal-Mart.
He had drifted between jobs and towns for a few years; living in apartments that resembled a Saw movie and living off french-
fries. Things clicked for him in Philadelphia and his reading had landed him at Locust St at Truncheon. The hours were late and
that's how he managed to write while waiting for the magazine to finish printing.
Relationship wise he had dated quite a bit; the longest relationship was just under a year with a poet that read at the bar across
the street from his work. He said their relationship was very Disney with no real reason as to why they were together and a lot of
Osbourne-worthy language.
Rory sighed since she knew what she'd have to talk about next. Logan had been long-term, very long-term for her and she had
sort-of turned down Jess for him. She knew how to talk about Dean in a way that wasn't emotional or too personal; but could
she do that with the man who proposed to her? Jess didn't have anything to be jealous of now but she knew how sometimes the
past can sneak up and break your nose with a frying pan.
On her way home Rory stopped at the grocery store and stocked up with regular kernel popcorn as well as several different
coloured bags of the snack. Also on her list were the brightest candies she could find as well as a giant tub of Triple Chocolate
Brownie ice cream. Fruit Loops were a necessity as well as ingredients for pancakes and many maraschino cherries.
Getting into her apartment took a fair amount of skill but once she had laid out all the goodies on the counter on plates and in
plastic bowls she went to the closet and pulled out the inflatable mattress. Rory was in party mode and she couldn't help but be
on top of her game with Lucy and Olivia coming. It had been ages since she had actually entertained and tonight would knock the
girls off their brightly coloured stockings.
Pizza was ordered; a large salad was purchased and Rory added various veggies. She then hung up purple, pink and blue
streamers and tossed around a few balloons. It was as she was attempting to follow the recipe she printed off the internet for
Daiquiris that she heard familiar voices.
"That was totally Carrie Bradshaw! I can't believe we saw Carrie!"
"We should have grabbed Rory and stalked her from behind Vogue magazines. If Carrie saw us she would probably just invite
us out for cosmopolitans. Oh my god we have to have cosmos with Rory it'll be like our initiation ritual."
"Initiation into what?"
"Why being New Yorkers of course!" Rory beamed as she ran and threw open the door. Lucy looked as though she had been
plucked out of a Betsey Johnson advertisement in a lilac skirt with crinoline, a yellow jacket and a blinding smile. Olivia was more
casually dressed in black jeans and a puffy pink coat.
"Rory!" they both yelled happily as they tossed down their luggage and began a group hug.
"Oh my god I missed you guys! I'm so excited! How are my two favourite Mondrian girls?"
"Well Lucy's landed herself a part in the Lion King musical!"
"Oh wow! Who are you?"
"I'm a really scrawny looking tree but it's so cool I dance around and act all tree-like and Scar winds around me a couple times
and I get to shake. It's kind of sad but it looks good on a resume and keeps me from having to live out of cardboard box beside
a dumpster so yay trees!" Lucy said Rory led them to the kitchen and went back to her drink-mixing.
"Yay trees." Rory echoed.
"So what about you Miss Fellow New Yorker? Fill us in your emails are so sad and vague like really cheap horoscopes; you
really have to learn how to use instant messaging."Olivia said as she settled her petite frame onto a bar stool.
"It's exciting; but my free time is pretty dull." Rory said.
"Then get off your butt and come visit us on the other side of Manhattan. Glenda misses you dearly."
"Glenda definitely misses you."
"Hey you start your shift at the art gallery right when I'm done my internship so don't you
point any of those sculptors' fingers at me. And Lucy everytime I call your phone I get your "Hey I'm acting—this is me acting
that I'm here!" message so you're not off the hook either." Rory shot back as she poured some lime juice into the concoction.
Lucy bent down and picked up a balloon and smacked it into the air with a cheer.
"Well then tonight let's go crazy! A reunion party! You already have the place all festive so let's be totally New York!"
"Oh my god Lucy she has Fruit Loops!"
"Rainbow food is the best!"
"Hey I think I got the daiquiri recipe down! Drinks for all!" Rory poured the pink liquid into colourful plastic cups and handed
them around. "To New York?" she asked.
"To New York." they echoed as they took a sip from their drinks then spit it back into their cups.
"Go out for cosmos?" Rory asked.
"Ugh definitely out for cosmos." Olivia nodded.
"I can't believe you've never been here before!" Lucy shouted over the band. They were in a bar that was excessively tall with
secluded round booths, a dance floor and a stage. Rory glanced down to see her Mary-Jane stilettos illuminated by the blue hazy
lights coming from the base of the bar counter.
"I'm not the kind of girl who goes bar hopping by herself." Rory laughed as the bartender took their empty glasses. Olivia
grabbed their hands and dragged them onto the dance floor. Rory couldn't help laughing as they danced when Lucy started a
more promiscuous version of her tree dance. When she and Olivia joined in she decided she had to use her spare time better;
dancing like a tree was more productive than watching infomercials.
They passed the hours dancing and laughing and pacing themselves with cosmos before collapsing into the last free booth.
"I'm looking forward to cold pizza when we get back to your place." Olivia sighed.
"Cold pizza always tastes better than hot pizza—you'd think the delivery people would have caught on to that and retire those
insulated bags." Rory smiled as she glanced over and watched the band. She heard Olivia and Lucy muttering a bit as she
contemplated whether it was pathetic or trendy that the band was covering The Killers.
"Do you think it's too soon?" Rory asked as she turned back to her friends causing them to sit straight up.
"Too soon for what?" Lucy asked quickly.
"To cover a band like The Killers?"
"It probably just means they haven't written anything worth tossing into the world yet. Hey let's go get that pizza sitting on your
counter?" Olivia said as they stood up and pulled her from the booth. Rory followed along behind them with an amused smile.
Spontaneity were definitely two of Lucy and Olivia's qualities but her feet were beginning to feel the burden of stylish shoes
making going home sound like a perfect suggestion. They grabbed their jackets from the coat-check and stepped into the sharp
chill outside.
The city was alive in lights and colour. Flashing signs and illuminated billboards threw their glow onto the streets like the
sidewalks themselves were casting their own light. Bright taxi's, limousines and cars whirred by amongst advertisement plastered
busses and the occasional bike.
"Shall we head to the subway?" Olivia suggested; Rory noted a strong sense of relief in her voice. She took in a deep breath and
felt the same relief as the door to the stuffy, noisy bar slammed shut behind them.
"Sounds terrific; shall we?" Lucy held out her arm for Rory who took it with a smile.
"Let's shall." She agreed. She was admiring the musical posters two buildings down when she heard someone yelling from behind
them
"Ace!"
Rory felt herself tense as Lucy held on to her arm protectively and Olivia flocked her as they turned. Logan was chasing after
them as a thin blonde called after him from the door of the bar. He looked just as he had when he walked away from her on
graduation; dressed in an impressive but casual business suit with his shampoo-advertisement hair.
"Just say the word and we'll all run." Olivia whispered. Rory nodded though she couldn't quite feel her head.
"Hello Rory." He said as he slipped his hand into one of his pockets.
"Hi Logan." She said quietly. Logan's eyes darted from Olivia to Lucy who were giving him looks of contempt.
"Ladies it's good to see you again. Can Rory and I have a minute?" Rory smiled weakly to her friends and nodded.
"It's okay guys; there's a coffee shop a few doors down I'll meet you there."
"Fine but New York minutes are faster so we'll expect you in thirty seconds." Olivia said loudly enough for Logan to hear as they
walked away.
"How's California?" Rory asked as she crossed her arms and looked at the sidewalk.
"Rory.."
"Logan." She said firmly. She knew the look on his face; he was struggling with a confession and trying to do something bold.
She smirked as the blonde stormed back into the bar.
"I've been promoted; business is booming and banging in California." He sighed.
"I'm happy for you." She admitted but she had a terrible feeling that he was going to make this much harder than it already was.
"I really should get back to Lucy and Olivia they're waiting."
"How can you be so casual?" he said his voice ripe with frustration. "Rory I made a mistake.."
"No stop. The only way I'm going to let you finish your sentence is if it's an attempt to apologize with no hidden clauses. I don't
want to hear if you've missed me or if you want me back because that is not something you deserve to say to me."
"Deserve? Rory I proposed to you and you turned me down how don't I deserve that?"
"We were together for three years and you completely gave up on us though we still loved each other. You were completely
willing to let me go even though you knew I had so many things to sort out in my life."
"Well I was wrong I know that now; I should have realized that even though most girls would have been thrilled to be proposed
to before graduating but you aren't like that! You're different Ace. Please just say you'll meet me for coffee tomorrow?" he said
as he dug through his wallet for a card. Rory was fuming; he still didn't understand how she couldn't be won over with gestures.
When he had won her back it was with words; but he had said three words to her on the grass at Yale that guaranteed he
couldn't win her over again:
"What's the point?"
"What's the point Logan? I'm glad things are working out for you but this is my life now. Just go back inside, please?" the cold
was beginning to work its way through her stockings and it was physically exhausting to stand on sore feet and old wounds.
"I can't just let you walk away. What're the chances of us meeting in a gigantic metropolis? You can't deny its very
Serendipity."
"Logan I honestly have nothing else to say to you. You finished us with a lovely Huntzberger wax seal and I don't want to give
you another chance. I'm sorry if you pictured me running into your arms like Scarlett O'Hara but that isn't me."
"You can't just look back on those three years we were together and not want it back? You were there for me through
everything and I was there for you too you can't deny that. Why can't you just let us try again? I have enough money that you
can factor me in again; it'll be easier than when I was in London. What about the Birkin Bag? The Life and Death Brigade? The
rocket?"
"You didn't wait for me for even a day; forget forty years. The rocket is attached to April's science project of the atmosphere.
Of course it doesn't mean nothing; we had something great and I don't regret being with you but things change—life changes.
Please just go; enjoy New York but put me in the past. No grand gestures." She gave him a small, pleading smile.
Logan pressed a hand to his forehead in frustration.
"You know I wanted to apologize for what I did but now I don't think it's entirely appropriate." He said; his voice was bitter and
angry but Rory took a deep breath and stood her ground. The more she told him that everything was over the more she felt it; a
year ago she would have pulled a Gone With The Wind but now she heard he mother's voice.
"One day, you'll meet someone, and you'll just know that it's right. You won't want to hesitate."
Right now she wasn't simply hesitating; she was refusing because she knew what she was saying was right. Not only for her but
likely for Logan too.
"I understand." She said simply. "Goodbye Logan." Rory took a quiet but deep breath as she turned and headed towards the
coffee shop where warmth, a double mochachino and laughter were awaiting her.
The soda-can was crushed and tossed into the small, gold garbage bin beside the desk landing loudly inside. Jess sat on the
rough carpet at the foot of his bed while reading Rory's letter as a feeling of frustration and helplessness crawled into his veins.
He knew that the wealthy Zac Efron clone was in the vicinity of Rory and had Armani pockets bulging with cash to try and win
her over.
Rory had written about the three years she had spent with Logan without trying to cloud over things and make it sound
unimportant. It had been her first adult relationship and the most life-altering. She had crossed the borders into the realm of the
privileged and paid with jail-time and a disturbing separation from Lorelai.
She described how she began to feel an understanding for her mother's decision for leaving the Gilmore household after she had
moved into the pool house. Her grandparents had taught her a lot about strange protocol in their society and that the DAR could
actually give her some laughs.
In consideration to Logan she told Jess about running into him at the bar with Lucy and Olivia and how she had respectively told
him to leave her alone. She had written that even though he had supported her through their relationship when things in his life got
complicated he would have extreme attitude problems and wouldn't let her help him until she was hurt or angry enough to frighten
him. The part of her life with Logan was over and she wanted to move forward.
Jess groaned quietly and looked at the stucco ceiling. From what she had explained about his "bold gestures" to get her back
after they had fought; Logan didn't sound like a guy who took no for an answer. What would he do if Rory got to her apartment
and found a new set of encyclopedia's waiting at her door in Logan's arms?
Without a second thought he pulled out his cell phone and pressed number four on speed dial.
"I hope you told him to go back to his Pussycat Doll hooker. Think the Huntzbergers would approve of gonorrhea entering their
family?" Paris said angrily into Rory's ear.
Rory laughed as she struggled with the armload of notes in her arm as she opened her apartment door.
"Maybe it'd understand the responsibilities better than I would have. But enough about him I already sent the gift basket he sent
me at the Times back with a "cease and desist" note. Can we talk about your final now?" she asked. She heard an alarm go off
near Paris and shut off ruthlessly.
"Fine it's been four hours since I wrote it so I won't give myself a panic attack worrying if I got one of the questions about
bronchitis wrong. I think I did well; it was a little tired I think the questions were as old as the professor and sure I appreciate
tradition but at one point someone's got to say "hey buddy put that horse out to pasture and turn it into Swiss-cheese with a
musket." I think I'll be doing that on Wednesday."
Rory blinked as her call waiting beeped.
"I'm glad it went well; I want to see you inspire a character on ER so don't fail me now. Paris can you hold on a second my call
waiting is beeping." Knowing Paris was going to start ranting about how call waiting had some sort of harmful affect on her
trachea she switched lines before she could start.
"Rory?" Rory smiled and felt an ease of tension in her chest as she heard Jess's voice. Though she was enjoying writing letters it
was a bit too formal for her taste to be the only form of communication. His schedule was constantly changing so she was always
unsure of when to try calling him and the few times she had she left casual messages on his voicemail. Her inbox had several
messages from him both stating the day and the time he called and saying hello.
"Hi Jess. I can't believe I'm actually talking to you and not just pre-recorded you."
" I know; we should alert that fancy newspaper of yours. First page story." He teased.
"I will let AJ know first thing tomorrow. Can you hold on a sec I'll let Paris go on the other line."
"Sure."
Rory politely told Paris she had to go but would send her an e-mail tomorrow with pictures of the popcorn ball tower she had
made with Lucy and Olivia.
"Hey."
"Hey."
"How's sunny California treating you? Have you gone to the beach yet?" Rory smiled as she went into her room and sat on her
bed.
"Me and beaches? I'm definitely not Moon-doggie kind of guy."
"I can see you hanging-ten and running on the beach like David Hasselhoff."
"Not even if you paid me." There was a small pause followed by a slightly frustrated sigh. "Look, Rory I feel bad that this is the
first time we've gotten to actually converse without a postage stamp but I have an alternative motive."
"You want to know about Logan?" Rory asked. She wasn't really surprised that he'd ask considering she was awaiting his letter
and then he'd have to wait for hers for another update. Logan was in the city now and Jess was on the other side of the
continent.
"But should he be jealous?" Rory wondered; considering that they still hadn't come to an agreement on where the stood. What
if she randomly met a guy she liked at the paper before he came home? Was she breaking boundaries if she went out for coffee?
They were connecting at a deep, personal level but for the sake of being shallow and solid terms were they a couple?
"Yeah, I just feel really helpless over here. I mean you're not the kind of girl who needs a bodyguard because I'm pretty sure you
could give anyone a Rocky-inspired shiner with just throwing some of your vocabulary at them but I'd really like to punch that
guy in the face-- especially if you wanted me to."
"He sent me a basket today full of chocolates and flowers but I sent it back saying it was disrupting my work. I can keep fending
him off Jess you shouldn't worry." Deep down she was felt a twinge of flattery at the fact he was jealous.
"I'm glad, but hey if you need any help I know some really tough guys near Washington Park that could follow you around; very
entourage."
"Could I get them black sunglasses and get them to talk in code?"
"I'm thinking the code could work but they probably already have the sunglasses."
When Rory hung up the phone a half hour later she laid back onto her bed with a sad smile. The satisfaction she felt when they
bantered and joked around together had taken a lot of her doubts off her mind. She rolled onto her stomach with a smile as she
thought that any guys at the paper who wanted to go out for coffee would have to take an indefinite rain-check.