A/N: Sorry for the long wait (yet again) but I was pretty busy! I hope you guys like this chapter!

I OWN NOTHING!

Enjoy.

Chapter 4

Raphael and I didn't say a word about what happened, or anything at all as we walked back to the farmhouse side by side. Though it was clear to both Donnie and Mikey, who were just walking out of the farmhouse together, that once they saw the two of us coming out of the forest, red eyed and weary, they knew that Raph had finally given me the news. They stopped in their tracks as we came closer. Neither of them said anything, and simply stared at us with silent, sad understanding. We said nothing in return.

For the four of us, known by those closest to us as the noisiest teenaged ninja brothers around, the silence that befell us was…well, to put it bluntly, it was unnatural. It was almost haunting to see what had become of the four of us.

Then in the blink of an eye, the four of us were moving again, and we found ourselves trapped within each other's arms in a close, fierce embrace. Squeezing my eyes shut as I locked my arms around my brothers, I could hear Mikey sniffling and shaking as he fought back tears. Donnie buried his face into my shoulder, and I tightened my grip in kind.

It was in that moment as we all stood there, hugging each other with all the strength we had in us that I knew I wasn't the only one who was suffering. I was broken. I was wounded. I was never going to be the same again. But they were all fragile, and barely holding it together. They had been so strong for three months, and Raphael's breakdown in the forest had shown me just how close they were to their limits.

I had to keep them from breaking just as I had. Even though I couldn't call myself their leader anymore, I was still their older brother. I had to keep them together, keep myself together, until the very end.

It was amazing how even though we were somewhere safe, away from the Shredder, the Foot and the Kraang invasion, I still found myself fighting for them.

Later that evening, I was sat in the armchair next to the fireplace, my crutch resting against the side of the chair and my hands on my lap as I stared sullenly into the fire. Mikey, Donnie, Casey and Raph were all sat around the T.V, preparing to watch Mikey's new favorite show, whilst April was in the kitchen making tea for herself and me. She said that I would need some after…well, everything.

Tearing my eyes away from the flames, I cast a quick glance at Raph. From my viewpoint, his arms were crossed over his chest and his shoulders hunched ever so slightly. Though I couldn't see his face, I knew he was scowling. In the rocking chair near the window, Donnie was no better. He wasn't as bad as Raph, but the way he sat with his hands on his lap, his fingers messing with the wrappings on his wrist as he stared down at them, I knew the emotions from before were still raw.

Mikey was humming the tune to the opening song of his show as he waited for it to start, looking as happy as ever. He was good at hiding it from the others. Not from me, though; I knew him too well to be fooled by his little act. He was still just as upset as the rest of us, but being who he was, he wasn't about to show it, probably for our sakes more than his own.

As I looked back into the fire, that same nagging thought that had been running through my brain ever since that afternoon. From what Raph explained to me, Splinter and Shredder fought, and Shredder had killed him. The four of them – April, Donnie, Mikey and Raph – had seen it all…but there was something not right about what Raph had told me. Splinter was stronger than Shredder, that much we all knew. There must have been something that the others had missed. There was no way he could be taken out like that…there couldn't be…

Maybe I was still in denial. It was one of the five stages of grief after all…but even so, the doubt was still there. That strange feeling, like how April had described her powers the first time, was still tingling relentlessly in the back of my mind.

Splinter was still out there somewhere. He had to be. I just knew it.

Just then, April came back into the living room with a tea tray in her hands. Lost in thought, I didn't look up at her, even as she set the tray down and put my cup on the table. I let out a quiet, tired breath. "…I just can't stop thinking about Master Splinter," I said, finally looking up just as April cast me a surprised look, as did Donnie as he looked up from his lap and at me instead. "Maybe he's not really gone."

His eyes dulling, Donnie frowned. "We saw it happen," he said, his voice still thick with sorrow as he looked back down at his lap. "Shredder threw him down a drainpipe…"

April and I shared a quick glance as she picked up her steaming cup of tea. "…maybe Leo's right," she said with an uncertain shrug, taking me by surprise as I looked up at her. "I mean, Splinter was a great ninja master."

"…the greatest in his century," Raph said lowly, not turning around or looking away from the screen. We all went quiet then, unable to say anything more and drawing the whole subject to a close. But even so, I wouldn't allow words to sway me. I had faith that Splinter was still alive, recovering from the battle and hiding somewhere safe…

What if he was looking for us? What if…what if he thought we were dead? He must be devastated. Losing us after losing his wife and Karai…

Karai…I wonder if she was alright. Was she with Splinter? Was she looking for us just as we had looked for her? A part of me doubted that very much. But I knew she was still alive; Karai was too stubborn to die by the hands of the Kraang, or probably anyone for that matter.

"Hey dudes! The show's starting!" Mikey called out excitedly, as if he were trying to lighten the mood again as he turned back to the screen.

Out of old habit, I was about to reprimand him not to sit too close to the screen, when suddenly I didn't need to. The T.V, along with all the lights in the house, suddenly went out in the blink of an eye. I froze in my seat, my eyes going wide as my skin paled. My breaths came out in quick, quiet gasps as I clasped my trembling hands.

Darkness. Pain. Emptiness…

It was Mikey's dramatic whining that brought me back to the present as he wailed in front of the T.V, begging for it to turn back on again. I released a breath of relief as my body slumped, the panic quickly dying away. It was just a blackout. I wasn't back in the darkness again.

I was safe…

"Aw man, you've gotta be kidding me!" Casey cried over the sounds of Mikey's blubbering, throwing his hand up in the air in exasperation.

Donnie stood up then, looking very much done with the world in general as he stretched his arms. "It's just a blown fuse," he explained offhandedly, "I'll fix it in two shakes of a turtles' tail."

It was just as the words left his mouth that the fire suddenly went out as well, leaving only a half burnt pile of smoking wood left. I quirked a brow as I stared down at the smouldering mound. That was weird. There was no gust of wind or anything to cause the fire to go out…

Just as curious as I was, Raph and April came over just as Donnie took out his flashlight to survey the smoking logs. Narrowing his eyes, Raph huffed in annoyance. "Great. Looks like we need more firewood," he grumbled. I couldn't help but agree with his grumpiness for a change. This was a little ridiculous, I had to admit.

And to make matters worse, as well as confusing, Donnie's flashlight flickered off as well. "Are you kidding?!" Donnie barked, shaking the dead flashlight. Like that would turn it back on.

Even so, a chill ran down my spine. Something wasn't right. The power going out seemed reasonable enough; April said that it hadn't been lived in for quite a few years, so it was a little run down. A power out seemed inevitable. The fireplace going out was a little odd…but then the flashlight too? What was going on here?

Sighing loudly and drawing me out of my thoughts, Raph stalked out of the living room and made his way to the front door. "I'm gonna get some more firewood," he announced with a slight grumble. "Be back in a few."

April suddenly reached out and put a hand on Raph's shoulder, stopping him in his tracks as he turned to face her with a questioning look. "Be careful, Raph," she cautioned, and couldn't help but agree with her. Letting Raph go out into the woods at night didn't sit right with me, not in the least. In fact, if it weren't for the fact that I couldn't stand properly on my own, I would have done the same as April.

Brushing her hand off his shoulder gently, Raph merely waved her off with a smirk as he folded his arms over his chest. "Yeah, okay, I'll be careful. Don't want any scary rabbits or squirrels dragging me away, that's for sure."

"Squirrels!?" Mikey cried, latching onto Casey's leg with a yelp of fear. I rolled my eyes in annoyance as Casey tried to wrestle Mikey off his leg, but he was going nowhere. What was it all of a sudden with Mikey and squirrels anyways?

Raph didn't seem very amused either as he shook his head, opening the front door as he prepared to leave. "Seriously, I'll be fine. I've gone into the woods how many times now? I'll be right back," he said again, and without another word, he shut the door and left. As I watched him go, I couldn't restrain the urge to get up and go after him, just to make sure that he really was safe going out there on his own in the dark. But like he said, he'd been out there quite a few times with nothing bad happening, and he was strong enough to defend himself, right?

Also, if I were to go out there, I wouldn't be that much help to him, with using a crutch and being unable fight and all. I was pretty useless…

I felt a hand come to rest softly on my shoulder, and I looked up to find that April was beside me again, looking down at me with an expression that screamed of concern. "Are you okay?" she asked me softly, not that the other three would have heard her anyways; they were too busy lighting up a candle to play a game of cards or something whilst they waited for Raph to come back with the firewood.

In response to her question, I wordlessly bit my lip and nodded, looking down at my lap again and averting my gaze from hers.

I was so pathetic that I couldn't even look at her, or even offer her a half decent reply…

April seemed to take no offense however as she nodded back, walking towards the chair opposite me as she sat down. She gave me a small smile. "Don't worry about Raph, Leo," she said, "he's actually right; there's nothing out there that he can't handle, or anything that can really harm him. After all, that's why I brought us here. We're all safe here."

She trailed off as she looked down at my hands, her expression softening as she stared at them. She then reached out and took my hands in hers…which was the moment I realized that they'd been clenched into tense fists the whole time. Startled, I finally gathered the will to look up into her eyes, and I found for the first time not pity, not concern, but reassurance in the cobalt orbs that matched my own.

"We're all safe here, Leo," she said softly, but there was a certain firmness in her voice that shook me inwardly.

But despite that edge, I managed to give her a faint smile. She was right. We were all safe here together. Nothing bad would happen to my family out here.

She smiled back at me, tightening her grip on my hands as I tightened mine on hers. "…do you want to talk about it, Leo?" she asked me.

I blinked once, and my eyes widened as I froze yet again.

…I let out a loud roar, taking everything I had bottled up inside me for years and letting it out at last. I let it all go. My anger, my fear, my hatred, my everything.

…I heard the sound of metal piercing my flesh before I felt the searing pain. And just like that, everything I had fought for, everything I thought I was, everything I thought I knew…it all shattered like stained-glass before my very eyes.

I was fairly aware that April was saying my name. I blinked again rapidly, shaking myself out of my nightmarish reverie as I focused back on April. I looked down at our hands held together to find that mine were shaking, and my knuckles were paling from how hard I was gripping her tiny hands, yet she showed no signs of pain.

But in her eyes, I saw her concern.

I hated it.

Loosening my hold so that I didn't crush her fingers, I looked off to the side. "…no." I whispered.

I didn't want to talk about it. I didn't want April to hear what I went through. All I wanted was to be better. To erase the past and be useful again. To erase all of my mistakes and have our Sensei back.

I just wanted to be me again.

I could see that she was disappointed with my answer, but April said nothing of it as she nodded her head in silent understanding. We remained silent for seemed like hours as we sat there, the only sounds being from my two younger brothers and Casey as they engaged in a rather loud game of cards. Even though we said nothing more, April didn't let go of my hands. I didn't let go of hers either. The contact felt good. I needed it, especially after everything that had happened earlier that day. I needed the contact, the reassurance…the strength that I had lost.

Stroking her thumb across my scaled hands soothingly, April looked up at me again. "…I understand, Leo. You don't want to think about it, so I'll let it go for now. But Leo…look at me."

With some hesitation, I obediently slid my gaze back up to her again, expecting to see more concern or pity, which was something I was very quickly beginning to loathe. Instead, I found something borderline with reassurance and confidence as she smiled at me.

"…I remember how you would always find ways for me to open up about my feelings when I lost my dad the first time," she said, smirking to herself at the memory. "It was hard and a little annoying at first, because I just felt that I didn't want to talk, but then I realized that talking actually helps. I always felt better after talking to you, because you always knew what to say and when to say nothing at all and just listen. And I just want you to know that…I'll always be here to do the same for you too, Leo…"

She released one of my hands and brought hers to lay it against my left cheek. Her touch was hesitant, almost as if she was expecting me to draw away. I didn't move an inch.

"We're all here for you, Leo. Whenever you're ready…" she said softly, smiling at me again. "…okay?"

I had to fight back tears again as I bit down on my lip. She was right. I didn't want to talk about it, and heaven knew if I ever would talk about it to anyone…but I had comfort in knowing that they were always here for me if and when I did. After all, I would have done the same for any of them. Nodding as I brought up my hand to cover hers on my cheek, I leaned into her contact as I smiled. "…okay," I finally replied. "…thanks, April."

Before I knew it, April was out of her seat and was by my side in the next instant, wrapping her arms around my neck as she held me tightly, hugging me to her chest as her cheek came to rest atop my head. "…that's what families are for, Leo," she whispered, dropping a soft kiss on my head.

I threw my arms around her waist as I hid my face in her chest, my breath hitching as I fought for control. I wasn't as alone in all of this as I thought I'd been. I had four brothers– five counting Casey – and a sister to confide in, knowing that they would be by my side until the end.

Always…

"…RAAAAPH!" Mikey hollered at the top of his lungs for what seemed like the millionth time in the space of a few minutes. "He's been gone for hours! RAAAAPH!"

Though outwardly I was calm, inside my heart was beating rapidly with nervousness as I held the flashlight, the beam of light scanning through the darkness of the woods beyond as we all searched for our missing brother. Two hours had passed before we finally realized that something was wrong. There was no sign of Raph anywhere. He hadn't come back from the woods at all, nor had he even called for us (though I was surprised that there was even a signal out here, but then again Donnie must have fixed that, knowing him.)

Before Raph had left, I was worried. Now, I was trying to restrain my terror. What if something had happened to him? What if there really was something out there and it had taken Raph?

I knew I should've gone with him…I should've been there to protect him.

Only I couldn't. I still needed my crutch just to stand with a flashlight that was shaking slightly in my hand. I would've been lost along with Raph, given how useless I'd become…

"Raph! Can you hear us?!" Casey shouted. His hood was up and all of his 'vigilante' gear was on. He must have thought the same thing I had; something was out there, and we needed to be ready for it should it come back for the rest of us.

"Don't you think he'd answer?" April deadpanned, but her voice was tense with worry.

They were all starting to panic, more so than I already was. I needed to calm us all down somehow, or we'd never find Raph. Taking in a deep breath, I turned to all them. "Alright, we split up," I declared, and they all gathered around me as they listened. "April and Casey, you take that way," – I pointed to the road on my left – "Mikey and Donnie, you take that way," – I pointed to the road on my right. Even though splitting up right now was the worst idea, and despite the fear I felt over losing them all the same way we'd lost Raph, I knew that it was the only way to find him at this rate.

But I was immediately met with protests, as per usual.

"Split up?! Are you loco, homie?!" Mikey cried. I had to bite back a laugh from his use of language.

"April and Casey go off alone?! Together?!" Donnie barked.

At that, my expression dropped in irritation as my eyes narrowed at my younger brother. Seriously? He was going to bring up his petty rivalry with Casey over April right now? Did he honestly think we had time for this? Eyeing him pointedly, I repeated myself a little clearer this time. "Mikey and Donnie, you take that way," I said, and turned around and walked away before he could argue any further. I tried to ignore his little groan of protest.

I just woke up from a coma; I didn't have time to deal with this crap right now.

"What about you?" April asked me.

My shoulders sagged a little, and I only turned half way to face her. "…I'll wait at the farmhouse in case Raph comes back…I won't be much help out there anyway…" I replied, unable to keep the glumness out of my voice as I hobbled back to the farmhouse.

I could feel April's eyes watching me, but I didn't turn around. I didn't want her concern. I didn't want her pity. I'd had enough of that from my brothers, and I was sick of it. But what else was there for me? I couldn't go out to help find my little brother, and I could barely walk up the stairs to get back inside the stupid house…

As I closed the door behind me, I leaned back against the door and heaved out a sigh. I was getting frustrated. I was getting tired…maybe some rest would help. A brief rest whilst the others would probably do me some good. Maybe Raph would come back within the next hour or so and wake me up. Yeah…

I limped over to the couch, setting my crutch on the side as I lay down, pillowing my head against the armrest and laying my hands on my chest as I closed my eyes, which I quickly noticed felt like weights as I shut them. I must have been more tired than I thought I was, because within minutes, I was asleep…

Something wasn't right.

My eyes slowly cracked open, and I sat up from the couch as I looked around the empty living room. I listened closely, but I heard nothing upstairs either. I let out a tired sigh as I rubbed my eyes…and then stopped when I felt the familiar fabric of my mask beneath my palms.

I blinked once in surprise, reaching back to catch the tails of my blue mask. When did I put this on? Donnie told me that he'd put it in the drawer in my room, in case I wanted it back on again, but I hadn't touched it. So…how did it get on my face?

Swinging my legs around to the floor, I stood up, remembering too late that I still couldn't stand up without my crutch. But as I waited for the pain in my leg to come, I felt nothing. Confused, I bent my leg back and forth experimentally. Nothing happened. In fact, my whole body felt completely fine.

My eyes widened. Could it be? Was I…was I better? Had the whole coma thing been a dream, and I was actually my same old self?

A grin found its way across my features as I laughed breathlessly. I was okay! I was back! "I have to tell the others!" I exclaimed excitedly as I ran out of the living room and swung the door open, turning around at the last second to close it again...

But when I turned back towards the forest, I was met with nothing but darkness.

My eyes widened and my heart stopped. No…no, not this, not the darkness again! I couldn't face that darkness again! Spinning on my heel, I reached back for the door…but the door had disappeared. In fact, the whole farmhouse was gone.

My breaths came out in short, ragged gasps as I began to panic. "Guys?! Raph, Mikey, Donnie?! April?! Anyone?!" I cried out, my voice echoing within the abyss. As the silence and a cold sweeping wind met me head-on, the horrible realization hit me as I hugged myself and shivered.

I was alone again. I was cold again.

I was trapped in eternal darkness again.

"Did you think you could escape me?"

I gasped loudly, spinning on my heel as I searched the darkness for the source of the voice. That voice was familiar…

Oh no.

Oh god, please no.

"Yes, Leonardo. You think because you are no longer in the city that I cannot find you? You are sorely mistaken, my little friend."

"…go away!" I trembled, wishing for my swords, my brothers, my father, anyone to come and help me. I threw my hands over my ears and shook my head. "Leave me alone! Go away! GO AWAY!" I screamed.

"Your cries go unheard, turtle. No one will come and save you…just as no one came to help you as you fought against my army. You are alone now…"

"SHUT UP! GO AWAY! GO AWAY!" I screamed over and over again, tears starting to trickle down my face as I stumbled back and forth on my suddenly unsteady feet.

He'd already destroyed me. He'd already taken my home. He'd already taken my father. How could he possibly bring me any lower? What more did he have to take away from me?!

My shell suddenly hit something behind me. Something large. Something cold. Something metal…

A black gloved hand suddenly came from behind me and slapped over my mouth, muffling my cry of fear, and another hand seized my left wrist and pinned it behind my back. I couldn't move. I was frozen, trapped, and powerless as his dark chuckle echoed in my ears.

"You foolish child. You are no leader. You are weak. Helpless. Fatherless. And you are all alone. You never had a chance against me, turtle. And you never will. You will never escape me. I am everywhere. I know where you hide, I know where you go...and I will kill you."

I was released and roughly thrown to the floor. Before I could scramble back onto my feet again, I felt a heavy boot press down on my chest, pinning me to the floor despite my struggles to get up. I turned my head, my eyes wide and full of fear and tears that dripped down my cheeks as I stared up at his towering form. His blades were unsheathed and raised over my head as he prepared to bring them down.

"You will never defeat me, Leonardo. You shall die here by my hand…and you shall die as you have always been destined to.

"Alone."

I screamed.

The blades came down, and the sound of metal crunching through my shell echoed in the darkness.

"NO!" I screamed, my eyes snapping open as I jolted up from the couch, panting heavily as I laid a hand over my rapidly beating heart. Sweat trickled from by brow as I stared unseeingly in front of me.

Little by little, with every shaking breath I took, I slowly forced myself to calm down and get my breathing under control. I blinked rapidly, bringing shaking hand to my face as I wiped the sweat off my face and the tears from my cheeks.

It was just a nightmare. I was still alive. I was safe.

After taking one last shuddering breath and letting it out again with a long sigh, I held my head in my hands. Sleeping wasn't going to help me. Not in the least. In fact, sleeping would only make it worse if all I ever dreamed about was…him. Sighing heavily, I reached out for my cane and stood up. And then as I looked at the wooden stick in my hand, my eyes narrowed as I glared at it as if it were an insect.

That familiar boiling anger was bubbling up inside me again, and I didn't try to restrain it.

This was pathetic. Here I was, sleeping away on the couch whilst my family was out there looking for Raphael. I knew I was probably never going to get better, or be the same as I was before. But I refused to sit around and wither away like the weed I was. I had to do something.

"Don't talk like that! That's not the Leo I know!"

Raph had been right. That wasn't me. That version of me had resigned himself to wasting away, complaining about how he wasn't going to get better. If I wasn't going to be the same, I still had to try. I had to fix my broken pieces.

I had to get up. I had to stop whining and do something.

Narrowing my eyes, I nodded to myself as I made my way to the stairs. I needed my swords…and my mask.

"Aah!" I gasped as I fell to my knees yet again, panting heavier than I had been before as my sweat dripped down onto the grass. I'd decided that maybe practicing a few katas against the tree near the swing chairs would help me build up my strength. But I'd forgotten that I still couldn't stand properly, and with every swing of my katana, every muscle in my body seemed to burn like fire.

Despite having brought it down from my room, I didn't put my mask on. Instead, I tied it around the hilt of one of my katana. I didn't feel worthy of wearing it. Not yet…

But that didn't mean I was giving up again. I had to get up. I had to at least try. I had to try.

"…get on your feet, Leo," I growled to myself as I struggled to sand, my legs shaking from the effort. "Stop whining and get up."

As I gripped my aching left arm, groaning and hissing through my clenched teeth in pain, I heard something coming from the forest and I froze. It was a person…a person that sounded like they were in pain. I looked up from the ground and out into the dark, scanning the forest for the owner of those pained gasps…

And then from out of the bushes, April came limping out into the open. Her clothes were dirty, and the side of her face was badly bruised. She was panting heavily as she struggled to get to me.

My eyes widened. What the hell? What happened to her?! "April?!" I called out to her as I staggered towards her, forgetting about my cane. April was hurt. She needed help. She needed me. She needed –

Something slithered from out of the bushes. I let out a gasp as I watched it move towards April like a slithering snake. What was that thing…were those vines?

The living vines wound themselves around April's right ankle, tripping her over as she fell face first into the dirt. When she lifted her head up again, her eyes were wide and full of panic…and they shone with tears of fear. She reached out to me. "LEO!" she screamed.

I was instantly moving, limping as fast as I could as I tried to reach her.

I had to get to her! I had to protect her! I couldn't fail again!

She dug her nails into the dirt, trying to claw away from the vines that slowly entwined her other leg as well, trapping her in its coils despite her struggles. A harsh tug pulled her closer to the forest and away from me. "HELP!" she shrieked, her ragged voice echoing through the air and into my ears, before a final tug hauled her across the ground and pulled her helplessly into the darkness.

"APRIL!" I screeched, tripping over as I fell to my knees, panting as I stared out into the forest where my sister had been dragged into.

I lowered my head and squeezed my eyes shut as I felt the tears sting them once again. I failed her. I didn't know what that thing was or where it came from, but it took her away from me. I couldn't save her. I wasn't fast enough. I wasn't strong enough. And I knew without a doubt that whatever that thing was, it must have been why Raph had gone missing. It must have taken Donnie, Mikey and Casey too.

That thing took my family. I wasn't there to protect them. I had truly failed them all.

A strong gust of wind blew over me, sending a shiver running down my spine. And then I heard something fluttering, like a flag in the breeze. I turned around, and saw my blue mask tails fluttering from where I'd tied it to my katana hilt.

My eyes widened as I stared at the blue fabric. Slowly, I struggled to my feet and limped over to my katana, detangling my mask as I held it in my hands, staring down at it as I ran my thumb across it.

We were all given our masks at a young age by our father, before our ninja training had begun. He'd given us the colors according to our personality. He'd chosen blue for me, because it symbolized trust, loyalty and faith. He'd told me that it was the color of a born leader.

I had earned that mask. But after my defeat, I thought of myself as unworthy of wearing it again…but that didn't matter anymore.

Whether I was worthy or not, I didn't care anymore. When it all started, I'd asked to be leader, and I'd gotten my wish. I didn't ask for the heavy burden I was forced to carry, but I did anyways. Now it was time for me shoulder my burdens once again, to step out of the darkness and into the light.

My family needed me. They needed their leader to stand up and fight for them once again.

My hands clenched into tight, shaking fists as I held the mask. My eyes narrowed not in anger, but in new born determination as slowly, I lifted the fabric to my face and tied it around its rightful place on my face. I was still a broken child, but I could put my shattered pieces back together again. I could rebuild myself back into the leader I was always destined to be.

Sheathing my Katanas as I plucked them from the grass, I reached out for my crutch and squared my shoulders, taking in a deep breath as I glared into the darkness of the forests beyond. The darkness would swallow me whole, surround me and try to break me down, but I was no longer afraid.

I am Leonardo. And the darkness, or whatever creature had dared to take my family away, would fear me.