"I am telling you Jenna, I can't get this woman out of my head and it's just wrong. I've talked to her exactly two times." Lena was sitting on Jenna and Kelly's couch. Her posture screamed frustration.
"Who is she?" Jenna couldn't help her enthusiasm. She hadn't seen her friend enthused over a woman since Gretchen.
Lena's smile turned downward and her eyebrow shot up, "a parent..." Lena paused for effect, "uh, a married parent."
Jenna was unable to hide her dismay, "oh Lena!" Of course she would have to be someone unavailable. Lena did seem to find the unattainable very attractive.
"I know, I know," Lena shook her head and stood up. "You don't need to tell me. There's just something about her." Lena sat back down again, trying to control her emotions. "I am now actively avoiding her. I usually try to supervise the kinders during the first week of school. I have managed to avoid that duty by assigning a TA to do it instead. I just can't see her. I turn into a complete idiot around her."
Jenna smiled gently in sympathy, "That's probably the best thing to do for now. Look, it's a good sign, your heart is waking up. Maybe she's not the one but she's paving the way for your heart to open up again. It's good to feel, something, anything. And trust yourself, no matter what, you won't cross a line. You're super professional." Jenna reached out to hold her friend's hand. "Maybe you should just enjoy your crush. Nothing is going to happen."
Lena thought about this for a while. As long as she understood that it was something she could never act on, maybe she could just enjoy what it felt like to be a woman attracted to another woman. It had been so long and just a smile from Stef could make any day better. "I won't be approaching her for conversation but maybe it's just as stupid to avoid doing my job just so that I won't have an encounter with her."
Jenna trusted her friend wouldn't risk her job in any way, she was concerned about how quickly Lena seemed to respond to this woman. This was unusual for Lena, who was typically cautious. "You've talked to her twice, really Lena? That's all it takes?" Jenna teased her old friend.
Lena laughed for the first time that evening, "That easy, right? I must be lonely." Her laugh turned sad, "I don't know Jenna, it was like the earth moved for a second." Lena shook her head, "I am insane and a walking cliché. Anyway, tell me about Garret. How is he doing? He's going to preschool now?"
"Yeah, I wish we lived closer to your job so he could go there next year but eh, no such luck." Kelly would have loved that, but Jenna didn't worry about things like that. "He's with his grandparents today. I swear that kid helped Kelly's parents accept her. It's amazing. Suddenly we're all a big family."
Lena loved Garret and she had missed him recently. 'Being an aunty isn't bad,' Lena thought. "Next time, I hope he's here. I'll even babysit if you need a night off."
Jenna smiled, "I might take you up on that. There's never any time once you have kids." Lena heard her friend's concerns but would have gladly taken on those problems instead of tackling another frozen dinner. Cooking for just one person was no fun.
"Well, I am gonna get going. I am giving your advice some thought and I promise I'll come by soon." Lena was glad to be back in contact with her closest friend.
"I was glad you came by. Don't be a stranger." Jenna said as she escorted her old friend out the door. She hoped Lena was strong enough to handle the latest challenge.
Stef got in the habit of dropping off her son at school in the mornings. Right before the first bell, Stef would usher Brandon inside and rush back out to get ready for work. She didn't like dropping him off in her uniform so she usually drove back home to get in the outfit. Usually, Sharon would pick him up from school in the afternoons and hang out with him for a couple of hours. She was lucky to be working days. It would be really difficult to work things out if she had to be out in the evening. On most days, she got to spend evenings at home with her son.
And that is what she did every week except on Sundays when she had her book club. It had been a good break. The group made for good conversation. She enjoyed Mary's boisterous humor and Kelly's quiet support. The one thing she noticed right away was how much she enjoyed the company of women. This was something that had always been missing from her life. Ever since high school, she hadn't had close female friends. There were so few women on the force and usually the women avoided each other to not encourage any kind of gossip.
Her job made her think of Mike, who was the only problem in her new life. He wasn't taking the separation well. He'd always had a hard time figuring out when to stop drinking but it seemed to her that he was showing up to work hung over. He didn't look good. She had even refused him Brandon on a couple of occasions because he seemed drunk. Luckily that had not happened too often and she wondered if she'd need the court involved at some point. Mike hadn't seemed too interested in Brandon. He had stopped coming around as much when he realized Stef wasn't budging on the separation. As it stood, she couldn't see going back to him at this point. She had her life back and she wasn't giving it up again. Mike would have to make a lot of changes in order for her to take him back. The problem was she just couldn't imagine her life without a husband, but she had Brandon and that's what mattered. She'd always wanted a family.
Family provided a routine in her life. It was in effect that day as she'd manage to drop Brandon off and make it to the station on time. Everything was moving along normally until they called to her inform her that her presence was required at the school. Brandon was ill. She felt her stomach drop and her hands shook. She needed to get there quickly.
Lena had always had a healthy mistrust of the police. She was a feminist woman of color and knew the problems of blindly following authority. Plus, violence of any kind frightened her. She had really never had anything nice to say about police officers until the day that Stef Foster walked into the main office in her full uniform.
Lena could not stop staring. How could she be hyperventilating and feel as if her breath had stopped? She was never one of those lesbians who might objectify women by their clothes. Nor did she have some kind of uniform fetish, but seeing Stef wearing her crispy navy blue outfit was a revelation. She demanded respect with her demeanor. It was like seeing a different woman. Stef was a woman in charge and Lena couldn't help but react. She'd never admit to anyone but she suddenly had a very pleasant vision of Stef coming in to take her in handcuffs.
Lena coughed and managed to sputter, "Officer, I mean Ms. Foster."
"Where's Brandon? I got a call," Stef was a wreck and it showed.
Lena was still struggling to find her composure, "He's resting in the nurse's office. He has a fever but otherwise you can take him home."
Stef's eyebrows shot up in confusion. She'd never had to take a child home and was deeply concerned that this had happened at school. 'Why didn't I notice he was sick, I should have known,' Stef chastised herself as the earlier confidence gave way to a vulnerability she didn't usually show people.
Lena could see the young woman struggling and had the experience to know what it was about. She turned towards the secretaries who usually handled these affairs and waved them off. She'd take care of this. One of them raised her eyebrows but turned away. If they sensed anything, they'd probably assume Lena was somehow intimidated by the police uniform. "Listen, this happens. Kids get sick suddenly and it's the first time he's been around so many kids. Germs abound," Lena smiled consolingly.
Stef smiled for the first time, unable to respond any other way. This was Ms. Adams, the woman who managed to make everything easier for her.
"I am going to need you to sign him out and then you can take him home." Lena went to get Brandon who was sleeping like a baby. She gently woke him up. She could see so much of his mom in him. He was adorable. "Brandon," she spoke gently. She led a sleepy boy to his mom and presented him as the gift he was.
"I hope he feels better. His teacher already put his homework in his backpack. If he's not feeling well tomorrow, call us to let us know," Lena could see Stef struggling with his backpack and trying to pick up Brandon. "Why don't I help you out?" Stef nodded even though she usually didn't let people help her.
As Stef walked ahead in front of her, it gave Lena an opportunity to admire that uniform from behind. She found it easy to ignore the gun when she was staring at Stef's round derriere. It was a sight for sore eyes, tight blue pants just hugging all the right curves. Lena could feel parts of her, long ago dormant, waking up from a long sleep. She walked Brandon gently and helped him inside Stef's car. Once outside, they shook hands awkwardly.
"Thanks for the help. I know you didn't have to," Stef found it hard to say goodbye, just wanting to feel like she was something special to this woman, needing her approval, her attention.
"I wanted to. It was my pleasure," Lena smiled and was unsure if she was flirting. She doubted the other woman noticed. She watched Stef wave goodbye and finally let out the breath she'd been holding. That was a full swoon she'd just experienced. Stef was trouble. In any other context, Lena might have asked her out by now.
When Stef got home, she found Sharon waiting for her. She had rushed over to help watch Brandon while Stef went back to work. They'd put Brandon in bed and carefully monitored his temperature. They gave him something to ease the fever and hoped it wouldn't rise much higher. He complained of a sore throat so the flu was the most likely culprit.
"Ms. Adams helped me put him in the car. She's super nice," Stef added as she started making some tea for her son. "Real pretty," she added almost absent mindedly.
Sharon raised an eyebrow at that and wondered what had prompted that assessment. Instead of spooking her daughter, she decided to just get details, "Is that Brandon's teacher?"
"Oh, no," Stef shook her head. "She's the school's assistant vice principal." Stef liked the full title, it seemed to fit the Lena, who demanded respect with such ease.
"Ah, well, they sure give you special attention at that fancy school," Sharon could not help but notice the slight smile on her daughter's face.
"I don't know…" Stef had no idea how to describe her short encounters with this educated woman. "We seem to have hit it off. She's the one that gave me the tour," Stef's mind wandered dreamily back to that afternoon when life suddenly seemed full of possibility.
"Ah…" Sharon remembered her daughter's demeanor that day. Something had changed. She'd gone from mopey divorcee to a woman on a mission. 'If this woman had anything to do with that, well bless her,' Sharon mused, noticing that Stef's eyes still held that happy faraway look.