A/N: This was supposed to go up a while ago, but due to some emergencies in my family and unforeseen circumstances regarding those, I have not been able to publish this sooner. I hope you all understand.
Anyway, thanks to everyone reading/leaving comments/kudos/messages. It is much appreciated and it's definitely helping to keep me motivated and inspired!
"Will you move in with me?"
Beca's mouth dropped in confusion and she didn't know what kind of game Beale was playing, but she couldn't discover the punchline in Chloe's playful -yet honest- eyes. "What the fuck are you talking about?" Beca mumbled under her breath.
Chloe passed by her and skipped into her apartment, leaving Beca confused near the entrance. She closed her door and met up with the girl in the middle of her living room.
"Hear me out, Becs." She said, as if she could read Beca's face.
"I'm not moving in with you." Beca concluded straight away as she headed for the kitchen. "I don't care how many scary people you came across on your way here, Beale." Beca smirked before opening her canned beer, aware of Chloe's outspoken fear for this part of the city.
"Beca!" Chloe whined as she followed her. "I'm being serious!" The girl pouted adorably before her mind drifted and she grew more serious. "Even though I did see a few suspicious people two blocks away."
Beca laughed in disbelief. "You're crazy." She concluded as she headed for her bed. Chloe followed her, jumped to her knees and started to bounce to get the girl's attention. "What?!" Beca snapped eventually, giving in to the conversation Chloe had been wanting to start ever since her arrival.
"Okay, so I just had lunch with Danielle and she told me she's thinking about moving in with Jim and I thought-"
"Who's Jim?" Beca asked annoyingly. She knew who the guy was, had even met him once at Chloe's birthday party, but she loved to annoy Chloe, especially when the girl was racing through her words in excitement just to get her point across.
"He's her boyfriend, Becs!" Chloe pouted over the interruption, to which Beca felt guilty and placed her hand on Chloe's knee just to let her know she had her attention from now on. "Anyway,-" Chloe scraped her throat and Beca even caught a slight blush making its way onto her face. "-she's moving out and I can't pay the rent on my own and we both know how much fun we had as roommates."
Beca retracted her hand and awkwardly placed it on her own lap. Not because Chloe was mentioning their past. Not because she was overly excited and it pulled at something within Beca's chest. Simply because Chloe was desperate for her support and Beca wasn't sure she could support her on this.
"I obviously didn't mean it like that." Chloe corrected herself with a smile. "I'm just saying that we know each other, Becs. I know better than to open the blinds before noon and you know what mugs I use for my paint water, so you can't get mad at me when you accidentally drink from it."
The remembrance pulled at Beca's lips until she couldn't fight the smile any longer. "Believe me, I can get mad at you for that any day."
Chloe laughed, the whole flipping-hair and scratching-Beca's-arms in the process kind of laughter before she grew serious once again. "Don't say it's a bad idea." She pleaded.
"I won't." Beca breathed out heavily. "I just think-"
"It's a bad idea." Chloe finished for her.
"Yeah." Beca stated apologetic before allowing a short momentum of silence to speak for her. "You were the one who said we should take things slow." Beca smiled to take the edge off of the conversation, and maybe to hide the fact that a small part of her blamed Chloe for that.
Beca remembered the talk she and Chloe had about their relationship in her small kitchen like it was yesterday. How they would rebuild their friendship before anything else. How diving into a romantic relationship would be wrong. How they would move forward in a slow pace.
Beca had agreed with her at that time. The kiss that Chloe broke up and with that eliminating the possibility of anything more happening that night had been the right call. She just had Chloe back in her life and she could literally taste the bright future ahead of her on Chloe's wet lips.
Except a bright future didn't come so easily. Perhaps it wouldn't come at all, Beca started to wonder. Because it had been over a month since they had that conversation and things weren't moving slow like Chloe had promised.
Things weren't moving at all.
Yes, they had redeemed their friendship. A bond that felt unbreakable as soon as Beca lied eyes on Chloe again. Beca was glad to have her back, after all they had been through. It felt like every wound inside of her had started to heal and she hoped Chloe's had, too.
A lot of the guilt and negativity washed away over the first few weeks they spent reconnecting and Beca felt lighter, relieved even.
But it seemed that was all that happened. No more kisses followed. Chloe had always been a flirtatious person, but it lacked the anticipation. Beca started to question what exactly the girl had meant by 'taking things slow'. She had assumed they would eventually get back together, but from the way things were going, Beca slowly seemed to lose hope for anything happening in the near future.
She had hurt Chloe more than she ever intended to by leaving her and she could understand how she may not trust her again. Beca just had to accept that. And part of her had. It's why it came as a surprise to hear her ex-girlfriend ask her to move in with her.
"I know." Chloe sighed as she dropped herself onto Beca's bed. Without the excitement pumping so obviously through her veins, Beca just thought she looked sad. "But this isn't about us, Becs. I can't afford that place on my own and I really don't want to move. I'll probably end up in an apartment worse than yours." She giggled with tears in her eyes.
Beca lied down beside her and tried to listen to her words instead of her sniffs, but Beca had always been weak for a crying Chloe Beale and it seemed she hadn't lost that yet.
"I thought it could work, since my place is closer to your job and you'll have more space than you have here. I could make you some paintings, so your room won't look as empty as it does here." She chuckled quietly. "But you're right, it's a bad idea. I shouldn't have asked you." Chloe spoke as she covered her face, trying to hide her embarrassment, but Beca knew it was present.
"I'll do it."
Chloe rose from her position on the bed and started to pace the room. "I guess I could do like Dan did. I could drop out of art school for a little while, save up some money and try again next year. I mean, it was kind of stupid to think I could come to LA with nothing but a few hundred bucks in my savings and expect it would work itself out, right?"
"Beale." Beca spoke in a matter that she knew would gain Chloe's attention. "I'll come live with you."
"Don't do that, Becs." Chloe said a little annoyed.
"No, you're right. What kind of friendship could we really build when you're too scared to come by my place?" Beca shrugged indifferently, hoping her uncaring nature would fool Chloe and make her believe this actually sounded like a good idea to her. "Besides, I'm getting pretty tired of this place anyway."
"No, you're not. You love living on your own." Chloe reasoned carefully as she sat back down next to her.
And Beca did.
She enjoyed being on her own. She liked coming home to an empty place, however weird that may sound. Due to her chosen career field, Beca appreciated the silence of a vacant apartment after another night being surrounded by loud beats and the noise that comes off of a couple hundred people stuffed into a club.
Yet the thought of living alone lost its charm now that another offer had made its way onto the table.
Never in a million years had Beca expected to consider the option of living with Chloe Beale again. It still felt like a recipe for disaster, but it was so appealing.
Too appealing.
Beca had missed living with Chloe, -seeing her face every day and knowing what she was up to most of the time. And even if they were just friends this time around -no benefits of any kind-, Beca couldn't help but focus on the pros instead of the cons.
Even though her head was filled with the cons.
There had been a reason Chloe wanted to take things slow and there had been a reason for Beca to agree with her.
Those reasons might not have been one or the same, but they meant enough to either of them to make the decision to avert from the direction their kissing mouths were leading them to.
For Beca, it was important to focus on her personal life without the addition of a girlfriend that was also her ex-girlfriend. Beca's life had changed so much and she was still adjusting, still figuring out what it was she wanted out of life and what she would be brave enough to ask for.
Yet Beca's thoughts drifted to all the reasons why moving in with her ex-girlfriend seemed like a bulletproof plan and she couldn't stop them, -couldn't remember why she had to. But apart from the selfish reasons, Beca also wanted to help. She didn't want Chloe to struggle financially or give up on the one thing that brought her to Los Angeles; her love for art.
"When is Danielle moving out?"
"All I'm asking is that you consider it, Becs."
"I have." She replied nonchalant. Beca had already made up her mind and whenever that happened, nothing was about to change it. "Your fridge is always full, so the choice is simple."
Chloe sighed and Beca knew she was growing annoyed over her inability to treat the situation with a sense of respect instead of turning everything into a joke. Beca knew all Chloe needed was just a small piece of her honest mind, something truthful that would tell her Beca actually wanted this, too. That she wasn't just doing it to please Chloe.
Beca knew she wouldn't be able to give her that. She simply hoped Chloe knew her well enough to understand she wasn't just doing this for her, because Chloe wasn't a charity case to her and Beca would never do anything she didn't truly want to do.
"Promise me you'll think about it." Chloe said tired yet appreciative while her hand made contact with Beca's skin.
"I will." Beca lied. She had already thought things through, even if it seemed she was being impulsive or perhaps just plain dumb.
Chloe took a deep breath and her usual excitement returned visually. It was an action Beca labeled as magic, because she still did not understand how the girl could perform that act. "What are you doing today?" The girl asked with a playful smirk resting on her face.
"Nothing." Beca admitted. It was the first day of the week and with that the only day that the club was closed. Beca had already spent her boring day off sleeping in and cleaning the apartment, so the rest of it would probably be more sleeping and perhaps making an attempt at creating some new songs.
"Great!" Chloe exclaimed as she got ahold of Beca's arm and started dragging her along. "We're going Halloween shopping."
Apparently, Chloe hadn't bought a costume for this year's event yet and Beca's only day off seemed like just the time for it. Beca followed Chloe into every store she could find and she hated to admit it, but Beca was actually enjoying herself.
A large part had to do with Chloe's outfit choices. The girl insisted on trying everything on first and getting Beca's opinion on them. Of course, it was Chloe Beale, so no matter how many times Beca told her she looked fine and offered to take it to the register for her, the girl continued her shopping spree.
Chloe tried out all the classic costumes; a hot nurse, a hot cop, a hot angel.
Perhaps Beca was biased, but she definitely looked the part in every one of them.
But the girl wouldn't be Chloe if she didn't engage Beca in a serious topic of gender inequality while checking herself out in the mirror wearing a cowgirl ensemble with a short skirt that kept Beca's attention.
"I just think it's ridiculous I have to go to the men's section if I want something tough or scary and the sexy dresses are labeled for women. Why can't a guy wear this?" Chloe spoke more saddened than angry as she turned to face Beca.
Beca cringed at the girl's words as an image formed itself in front of her eyes. Instead of the beautiful woman, Beca started to see Morgan in the cowgirl costume and her stomach turned instantly. "Relax, Beale. It's all one Halloween section."
"Yeah, but they're divided!" Chloe shot back and Beca shrugged in agreement. The girl made a fair point, but Beca had always loved to put up an act of resistance to push Chloe's buttons.
Beca started to stroll through the store as Chloe once again changed back into her own clothing items. She had tried to convince the woman to pick out a few outfits and try them on in sequence, but as soon as Chloe saw something she liked, she ran with it to the back of the store and Beca could only roll her eyes and follow the girl towards the dressing rooms, keeping hope that next time Chloe would listen to her, which of course never happened.
"What are you dressing up as this year?" Chloe asked intrigued as she appeared in Beca's aisle.
Beca could hear the playfulness in the girl's voice and decided –for once- to go against her grumpiness and negative being as she picked up a black wig and placed it imperfectly on top of her head. "I'm going as the old me." Beca hushed mysteriously.
Chloe laughed louder than the music that was playing in the store and Beca grew concerned about getting kicked out of the shop.
Beca watched as her friend approached her and got close enough to take the fake hair off of her and fix her own, short locks.
"I like this you better." Chloe whispered as her hands continued to move through Beca's hair until they finally came to a rest on her shoulders.
Beca became aware of just how close Chloe was and she observed her attentively for any signs. Perhaps a drop of the eyes to where Beca's lips were. Her fingers digging into her skin. If only her tongue peeking out in anticipation.
But there was nothing. Just Chloe. And Beca dropped her head, knowing it had to be enough.
"Wish I could say the same.' She returned grumpy and natural. Beca wasn't talking about her hair anymore. She had grown used to it. She still didn't love it, but she had accepted it and that was who she was now. Everything else that came with her past was a little harder to let go of, Beca realized.
"Oh!" Chloe yelped and started to sprint past Beca. "We should go for a matching outfit! Like.."
Her voice started to trail off and Beca had no choice but to follow. When she found Chloe three aisles down, she was holding a Little Red Riding Hood and a wolf costume up. As if Beca's eyes said enough, the girl searched further.
"Oh, how about this. An inmate and a prison guard."
Beca cringed at what that would suggest. "I'm pretty sure inmates don't wear orange miniskirts and black heels." She scoffed.
"You know I'd do anything to see you in a suit, Becs." Chloe winked and turned back to the items in the store.
It seemed Beca was going to have to get used to innuendos that weren't leading anywhere.
At the end of the day, Chloe managed to convince Beca to go for a matching set, despite her doubts about what message it would sent off, not necessarily into the world but inwards her chest and affecting a certain organ there.
Beca went with the least awful matching costumes; Mickey and Minnie Mouse. A classic, like Chloe wanted. It meant Beca would have to wear an ugly set of red shorts with white dots, but at least she could wear a black shirt and keep her face unharmed.
Since they had spent their entire afternoon Halloween shopping, the two friends decided to stray from course and have dinner together, despite it being the first day and not the last day of the official labor week, even though Beca doubted them spontaneously sharing a meal on Monday would affect their plans for Friday.
That night, as Beca lied in her bed, uncomfortably warm due to the heat she continued to struggle with in this part of the country yet this late in the year, the rowdy streets outside of her apartment couldn't fill the silence that Beca felt in her every bone now that she didn't have Chloe in her near surroundings anymore. After spending most of her day with the girl, the sound of her laughter continued to echo through Beca's head, but without the sight –no matter how stand-alone beautiful the noise was- its disappointment was felt deeply in Beca's chest.
"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Morgan said as he easily lifted Beca's bedframe from the floor and stood unbothered by its weight and size to continue his conversation. "I mean, I know you two are friends and all." He shrugged. "But moving in with your ex seems like a terrible plan for anybody."
"Less speaking your mind, more carrying my stuff." Beca groaned annoyed at the young man, who seemed to obey her orders.
"I'm just saying, if that were my ex.." Morgan teased as he made his way out of the apartment, but not without Beca throwing a half-empty box at his head.
"Jerk." Beca mumbled at no one in particular as she eyed the open space around her. Most of her stuff was already out of the apartment and whatever was left was boxed and ready to go.
Now Beca wasn't an emotional person, so the fact that Morgan's rental truck stayed for the most part empty, -even with all of Beca's belongings in it- didn't mean much to her. Beca held no emotional value or connection to the apartment that as of tomorrow wouldn't be hers anymore. Yet it was a weird feeling to leave that place behind.
They drove a couple of blocks and eventually pulled into Chloe's street. Beca fought Morgan over the heavy boxes, because she was an independent woman who could move in and out of an apartment without any help.
Beca just happened to also be a small and physically rather weak woman who could in no way –ever- lift cabinets and a bedframe as easily as Morgan did.
So Beca settled for carrying the heavy boxes and hoped it would be enough to keep her image in check.
"Becs! You're finally here!"
Chloe somehow managed to hug her tightly, despite the boxes she had piled up onto her hands and pressed to her chest for better movement.
"I've been waiting for you all morning! What was taking you so long? You know the party is tonight. We have a lot to do before that, come on!"
Chloe was active -overly, most of the time-, she was a hundred and ten percent intensely alive, as much on a Friday evening as on a Monday morning. But once in a while, which happened to be the day Beca was moving in with her, Chloe's excitement would spill over and infect everyone within a fifty foot radius, like some highly contagious virus.
Beca blamed it on the date. It was the very last day of October; Chloe's roommate and good friend had just moved out of her apartment, Beca was moving in and amongst all that change, it happened to be one of Chloe's favorite holidays: Halloween.
Apparently, they -as in Beca and Chloe, together, as roommates once again- were hosting a Halloween party. A costume required festive to celebrate that they were living together yet again.
At least that's how Chloe translated the holiday to their personal situation. Beca on the other hand found more to relate to in the darkness, in the dangers of the unknown, or perhaps in what she did know.
Nonetheless, Beca knew she had a long day ahead.
Still with the boxes in hand, Beca allowed herself to get dragged through the apartment for the sake of not letting anything fall to the floor. By the time the hand released its clutching grip on Beca's upper arm, it took her a second to see what Chloe had brought her here to see.
The room -by assumption Beca's personal space within the apartment - was completely empty, except for one item.
"What do you think?!" Chloe said as she impatiently started to clap and giggle.
Beca in return acted like she had all the time of the world as she placed the heavy boxes on the ground and inched closer to the item for a better view.
It was a painting, hanging on the wall of her new and own room, undoubtedly made by Chloe Beale herself. Even if it didn't resemble Chloe's usual work and bright colors, Beca could still see her personal touch to it.
"I made something I thought you'd like in your room. It's kind of dark, but also not." Chloe started to explain.
"It's perfect." Beca spoke reassuring, aware of the insecurities noticeable in the young woman's voice. "It's.." She tried again, but as her eyes scanned the painting again, all words fell flat and Beca was at a loss as to how to express her gratitude.
"It's awesome!" Morgan yelled, breaking up whatever moment Beca was experiencing with Chloe. "It's like I'm in the woods in the middle of the night!" The man spoke amazed. "Yet if you look closely, you can see that there's light."
"Exactly!" Chloe chirped surprised. "I wanted to have it seem dark and scary on first glance, but-"
"Upon a closer look.." Morgan continued understanding.
Beca's two friends just started nodding at each other, words no longer necessary as they appeared to suddenly have the ability to read minds, Beca concluded.
As for Beca, she liked the painting simply because her friend put time and effort into creating it especially for her. She didn't see the meaning behind it or read something metaphorically into the darkness and the light.
"I'm gonna go grab the cabinets." Morgan announced, leaving Beca to be alone with Chloe again.
She felt like she should be saying something, anything to express her gratitude, but Beca had never been one to use her words, so she flashed her a tight-lipped and semi-awkward smile and hoped Chloe would understand her.
"Come on, Becs. Let's get you settled." Chloe whispered as she locked arms with her and forced her out of the room with care.
Chloe did as she promised; she got Beca settled. Although she didn't help with the heavy labor, Chloe stayed in the apartment and decorated Beca's new room to the best of her abilities. Every time Beca returned to the room with a new round of boxes, Chloe was busy designing and redesigning the items within.
By the time Beca and Morgan had emptied out the truck, Chloe had miraculously finished her job inside the apartment. Beca's drawers were filled, her flat-screen TV was up on the wall and even her bed was made.
Beca waited until Morgan had stated he was going to return the truck and had heard the front door shutting behind him before she made a comment. "How did you do this that fast?"
"You really don't have a lot of stuff, Becs." Chloe shrugged happily. "Oh, come!" She urged as she ran out of the room and Beca knew she had no other choice but to obey.
Upon entering the living room area, -something Beca was going to have to get used to after living in a kind-of loft for six months- Beca found all of her music equipment in the outer corner of the room. Right next to the window overlooking the Los Angeles skyline, but not too far from the kitchen either.
Beca loved the view Chloe's apartment provided. The balcony, however small, was her favorite part of the entire place. She felt lighter yet more self-aware eight stories high contrary to how small and insignificant she felt in the midst of the noise surrounding her old apartment. Beca went from doubting whether or not her screams would be heard to feeling like she was on top of the world.
Perhaps the movement was better for Beca than she initially assumed it would be.
"Are you sure?" Beca asked hesitant. Her equipment occupied a large part of the open area while she still had a lot of space left in her bedroom.
"Of course!" Chloe shouted as she took a seat behind the glass drawing table Beca bought for her birthday. "I can do my thing here and you can do yours, and we'll still be together."
Beca nodded and stepped behind her equipment to test the waters. Chloe had truly tried to set everything up correctly, Beca could tell. But certain things were out of place and illogical positioned, which someone who had never used these tools before wouldn't know.
"That's the point of being roommates, right?" Chloe spoke from her seat. The girl was close –her table almost in contact with Beca's adjustable keyboard stand- yet not close enough, for Beca's liking. "We both have super busy schedules and we're probably not going to be seeing each other all the time." Chloe continued as her eyes dropped and her fingers started to fiddle. "At least this way, when we're both in the apartment, we won't be locked away in our rooms, focused on our work."
Beca smiled softly as reality was sinking in. "Yeah, that's true." She whispered vulnerable for a second before scraping her throat and recomposing herself. "You can listen to my amazing music and I can criticize your drawings." Beca spoke nonchalant and slightly arrogant.
Chloe's jaw dropped in offense and they both broke out in laughter until Chloe's eye fell on the clock and she urged Beca to get ready for the Halloween party.
Beca suddenly remembered what it was like living with the girl again. Chaotic. Messy. A lot of running around on Beca's end, to keep up with all the random ideas that would pop up in Chloe's mind. Tears. Smiles. A continuous flow of music and art. Midnight dance parties. Food. Laughter. Pain. Heartache.
Beca would be fearful of which one was first to come, if only the bumpy ride Chloe Beale provided her wasn't so damn ecstatic.
A/N: My God, I'm so excited to tag this fic as 'roommate-au' again! :D
THEY ARE LIVING TOGETHER AGAINNN!
How do we all feel about that? Let me know!
