Chapter Four: Revenge and Repercussions

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

~To my fabulous reviewers~

freya: Oh my god, I think I love you! We should totally get hitched and pop out a couple of kids; biological impossibilities be damned. There are no words that will ever properly express how happy you and your wonderful reviews made me. Thank you for not only complimenting my story, but myself as well. I will be continuing my other story Waiting, by the way, because your reviews have been just so beautiful. Thank you so much for your very kind and motivating comments! If I could somehow glomp you, I most definitely would. Once more, thank you!

Kireicomplex: Awww~ You're review left me feeling warm and tingly inside. Thank you so very much for also complimenting my writing style, as it does wonders for my ego. Sorry for the long wait, but I present to you, the next chapter.

Cherryjubilee: Cute and well-written? I swooned when I read that! Thank you so much!

Essy-Chan: Yay for sugary over doses! Thank you for all the wonderful, inspiring reviews! And also, thank you for the suggestions! In fact, I plan to utilize some of your ideas in the very near future. I really love and value feedback, so please keep it coming, because I would be lost otherwise. Big, sloppy kisses and even bigger bear hugs for you!

StarKiss666: Yes, Karma is a rather vile thing! And I'm glad you like the thought of Kakashi teaching Sakura how to pee, because you'll be seeing more of that this chapter. Thank you, for all the wonderful reviews!

deuil0Aiseki: Oh nos! But hey, if Sakura did it too, it's perfectly dandy for you to do so as well. By the time this chapter is through, she won't have been the only one to pee their pants. *Evil laughter* Anyways, thank you so much for reviewing and enjoying the story.

Rawrgoesdadino: I want to eat your face off (in a good way I assure you) I love you so much! You're reviews are always looked forward to! And thank you for the suggestions! We must be on the same wave length, because I had similar intentions for this story. I plan to employ them very soon~ Anyways, thank you so much for the suggestions and support!

RingoHime: Congratulations on being the first to review this chapter! I also need to apologize for not reviewing the other chapters of your fic. I haven't been on fanfiction lately because I was so busy, but I'm back now and I will soon make good on my promises. Thank you once again!

Sakura had just had one hell of a time. She had just spent the last hour of her life crammed into her nauseatingly pepto pink bathroom learning how to pee from her giggly, perverted sensei. Sure, there were worse things in life one could experience, but at the moment, Sakura could not think of any. Clan slaying evil older brothers and demon stealing criminal organizations be damned; that shit was nothing when compared to what went down in the comfort of her own home.

Sakura was used to feeling embarrassed. She felt that being friends with Ino and part of Team 7 had well qualified her in the field of shame. After all, not much is worse than having your diary read aloud or having your first menstrual cycle broadcasted and declared a national crisis around the ninja world. Yes; that was pretty bad.

But this was so much worse.

You see, Sakura wasn't the fastest of learners. Brilliant as she was, she was not able to grasp the concept. For some reason, she just couldn't get a hold of herself. Literally.

"No way in hell!"

"Sakura," Kakashi tried to reason, "It's a part of you now. You're going to have to get used to it some time."

"I am not going to touch it," Sakura glared disdainfully.

"How else will you aim? You can't just go on peeing your pants every time you need to go," Kakashi yet again tried to persuade his stubborn student.

"For the last time," Sakura huffed, "those were Sasuke's pants."

"Regardless," Kakashi intoned, "You need to learn."

"Then teach me," Sakura replied indignant.

"Then grab it," Kakashi argued.

"You do it," she bantered back.

Kakashi ignored her rather suggestive comment and sighed. "Look Sakura," his lone eye focused itself steadily upon her, "Sometimes you just got to grab the bull by the horns."

"But I'm not a bull and this," she stopped to madly gesture at her new dangly bit, "is not a horn."

Eventually, Kakashi craftily convinced his student to proceed by threatening to reveal to the Uchiha the state of his pants. It really was amazing what blackmail could do.

Admittedly, Sakura had a couple of hits and misses starting out, but was able to eventually catch on. Before either of them knew it, she was able to write her name and the whole damn alphabet; she could even dot the i and cross the t. Besides turning out to be a prodigy pisser, Sakura had also left the seat up all by herself. Sadly, Kakashi had never been so proud.

After successfully conquering the art of urination, Sakura was on top of the world. Nothing could stop her and nothing could bring her down. Or so she thought, until she walked in on the panty party going on in her room.

Now she kind of expected to find Naruto rummaging through her drawers. She even was able to predict Sai's perusal of her journal. But she never would have imagined for Sasuke to be in on it too.

She had thought that the emo boy would have learned from last time, but the lacy, black thong in his hands said otherwise. It was positioned rather close to his face which made her wonder if he was sniffing it or something equally weird. Then, as if his other offense wasn't enough, he had checked out her new male form in a most perverse manner.

She had really thought that the sex changes would have prohibited such behavior from her moronic friends, but she had no such luck. Privacy invaded and modesty violated, Sakura was ready to tear them each a new ass hole to go with their new parts. Unfortunately, Kakashi intervened, by evening out the score.

"Sakura pissed Sasuke's pants," Kakashi informed helpfully. Funny, but Sakura could remember Kakashi had promised to keep that little tidbit between them. What Sasuke didn't know wouldn't hurt him, she had decided.

Sasuke's reaction had been instantaneous and natural for one so enthralled by ideas of revenge; he pissed Sakura's pants.

Honestly speaking, Sasuke only wished that his response had been intentional. He hadn't even known what had transpired until Naruto's laughter had registered the fact. He was miffed about the treatment of his pants, but not enough to consider stooping to such a level simply to avenge an article of clothing. Everyone had automatically assumed he had peed as payback while in reality; he had little control over his now smaller bladder.

Karma wasn't just breaking his balls; it had taken them away completely and painted him as a pervert who pissed his pants as payback.

In the end it was Sakura who had received the last laugh, because not soon after, he found himself stuffed in a changing stall trying on frilly women's clothes. Currently, he was donning a silly, yellow sundress accompanied by even sillier yellow pumps. Yellow was noticeably not his color.

"Teme," Naruto called for his friend, asking in all seriousness while motioning to his own orange sun dress which actually suited him quite well, "Does this make my ass look big?"

Pissed as he was and feeling spiteful, Sasuke replied, "Yes, it makes you look like a fat ass."

"Tch," Naruto tutted, with a flip of his fair hair, "You're just jealous."

"Of what? Your fat ass?" Sasuke retorted to Naruto's accusation.

"Well at least I have an ass," Naruto went on the defensive, "And mine doesn't have a telephone pole up it either!"

"Dead last."

"Bastard."

"Bimbo."

"Bitch."

"Hag and dickless," the previously quiet Sai jumped into the argument. Oddly, though Naruto's nickname was now a true statement, the blonde was still just as insulted.

"Skank," Sasuke directed at Sai. Sasuke couldn't help but to notice that while he himself could not pull off yellow, there wasn't a color in the rainbow that Sai looked good in.

The jingle of a bell broke off their argument as a familiar blonde strutted in to the boutique. A heavy, floral aroma wafted its way throughout the store causing the once male trio to scrunch up their faces in mild repulsion. The new arrival had already managed to set off their newly established bitch radars.

This threat was identified as Ino Yamanaka.

"Hey," Sakura acknowledged her old rival, as she tore through a rack in search of more clothes to torture her teammates with. The pinkette had just found a black feather boa that she deemed perfect for Sasuke. Now if only she could find some platform heels that would fit his dainty, little feet; then her fantasy would be complete.

"Hey yourself," Ino's pale blue eyes took on a predatory glint as she changed courses to make her way towards Sakura. Soon enough, the bold blonde was invading Sakura's personal bubble and overpowering her with her perfume. Sakura took the time to notice the abundant cleavage presented to her and couldn't help wondering where it came from.

"You wanna know what would look good on you?" the blonde questioned while skimming through the hangers thoughtfully.

"What?" Sakura asked while discreetly retreating, a little weirded out by her friend's antics. She sincerely regretted ditching her sensei as she could really use a wingman right now.

"Me," Ino answered huskily, giving Sakura a once over that left her feeling mildly molested.

Then, in a display similar to that of a wild, starving animal, Ino pounced.

And suddenly, the once bickering threesome was now united by a common enemy.

"Who does that crazy ass hoe think she is?" Naruto asked, pivoting to better see the aforementioned crazy ass hoe.

Sai, for once, did not have any fake expressions marring his face, though he did look a bit constipated. Adorned in a sparklingly shade of brown, he looked much like a glittering, cranky chunk of crap.

Sasuke, who was also burning with ire, charged forward with every intention of getting down and dirty. He was quickly flanked by Naruto and Sai, as they attempted to strut over to the scene of the crime. It was a rather difficult task to do, considering their new elevated foot wear, but they managed with some help from the very supportive racks lining their route.

By the time they arrived, Sakura had already subdued her assailant. It seems the blossom had simply told her once nemesis of her real identity. Though, the blonde now seemed a bit embarrassed, her eyes still sparkled lustfully at the hunk of burning love that Sakura now was.

"Oh," Sakura's attention cut to the new party, "Hey guys."

Ino turned as well to regard them, but ended up giggling upon seeing their ridiculous get up. "I suppose these train wrecks would be your teammates?"

Naruto stepped forward and made a show of crossing his arms to emphasis his rather large chest. Sasuke chose to cock his hip and give the patented Uchiha glare. Sai followed suit, but ended up still looking like a perturbed piece of poop.

"Sakura, hun,"Ino paused to shamelessly lean against their teammate, "They look horrible! Sasuke looks like Big Bird and don't even get me started on Sai."

Sasuke's feathers were predictably ruffled, but Sai seemed flattered. "Thank you gorgeous."

Naruto and Sasuke each shot him a dirty look for complimenting and thanking the chick who had not only insulted them, but also planned to steal away Sakura. They had spent years, warding off all of Sakura's many suitors and no gender change was going to stop them from doing their job.

"Hmmm, you're right. Hey Ino," Sakura said before a catfight could break out, "Would you mind helping me out with them?"

Ino took this time to eye rape Sakura. "With pleasure," she rasped with a most sinister tilt of the lips.

Our heroes would never be same after this.

The weary Team 7 barely made it to Sakura's bed before they all crashed from such an exhausting day. Sakura was so far gone, she didn't even object to the sharing of her bed. Furthermore, she didn't even notice Naruto's present state of nudity.

As well-intentioned as Ino had possibly been, the platinum blonde had expended all their energy for the sake of fashion. Despite, any training received as shinobi, their stamina for shopping paled in comparison to the passion the Yamanaka had. As a direct result, even Sakura who had once been a girl was unable to stand anymore. It should be said that when Ino shopped, everyone else dropped.

The she-males of Team 7 were even too tired to steam over the earlier events of the day. For all they cared, Ino could have her cake and very well eat it too. She could even have some jello too if that kept her away.

This day had been a very tiring, but teaching day. Naruto had learned to never again use a jutsu to change genders. If he ever needed to pose as a girl, he would do it the old fashion way with a wig and watermelons. He, along with Sai, also learned to respect Sakura's privacy. Sasuke learned that it was best to stay away from her room all together. And Sakura learned how to pee like a man. But most importantly, as a whole, Team 7 learned to fear Ino.

So with suicidal thoughts of never waking up, they all hit the bed in a dead sleep. They were finally at peace with the world and likewise, the world was at peace with them. But as Karma would have it, the peace wouldn't last long.

Author's Note: I am so sorry for updating so late! I was so damn busy this week that it's not even funny. None the less, that was no reason for me to take so long and keep you waiting. I also apologize for the quality of this chapter, as I think it's not adequate enough. I pulled two all-nighters to write this and I obsessively reread all of the wonderful reviews to motivate myself. If you are just as displeased with this chapter as I am, please keep in mind that I was very sleep deprived when I wrote this.

On that note, please review, fav, or alert. To review, you don't even need an account and a quick ':)' or even an 'update now bitch' will make me happy. Just show me you love me! And also, if you have any suggestions, please feel free to drop it in a review or pm, because I highly value your input. As whorish as this is going to sound, I aim to please you!

Also, I would like to ask that you guys visit RingoHime's page and lend her some love as well. She's a very lovely person who has equally lovely stories. Go check her out and drop her a review, because everyone knows reviews make the world go round. ~Shameless advertising for her~

Once again, sorry for the incredibly long author's note and thank you for reading and hopefully liking this story.