Author's Notes: Not much to say this time. I hope you enjoy the chapter! I looked back over the previous chapter and realized that a couple of criticisms I've received from some friends are hyper-ultra-super-mega valid. I'm too choppy. There's an excess of one-sentence "paragraphs." I will try to amend that! Some people might not like the fact that two people are talking in one paragraph, and others might. Personally, I think it helps the writing flow and makes it less of an eyesore to see a huge succession of single sentence dialogues. Plus, I'm making it as explicit as possible as to who is talking (the two talk so differently anyway, it shouldn't be a problem.) Let me know if you've got problems with it though. Huh. I guess I did have a lot to say.

Crimson Azure: Chapter 4

"…and so the first thing I saw was…um…you, after I was freed from that…terrible form," finished Noel, "And I guess I never got to properly thank you for it. Um…thank you."

Ragna, who had been drumming his fingers against his knee, looked up at Noel. "Done?" She nodded. "Dear God, I guess I'll never have to ask you about your life story." He smirked and then sighed. "Well, I guess I gotta live up to my end of the bargain…" He launched into an abridged explanation of his childhood, Saya, Jin and the day he lost his right arm. From there, he transitioned into being trained by Jubei and his Azure Grimoire, his initial interactions with Rachel and then concluded with his vendetta against the Librarium for what it had done to him and to his life. With a yawn, he concluded, almost lamely, "And that's my life. Learn anything new?"

Noel hesitated; learning about his childhood explained his personality and his hatred of the NOL somewhat, but did not explain why he was so aggravated by her presence. Regardless, only the training by Jubei was really new; she had learned already that he and Jin were brothers and Saya was his sister.

I have to say though, being trained by Jubei of the Six Heroes? That's incredible. No wonder he's so good at fighting.

"Yeah, I did…but…well, that still doesn't explain a question that's been bothering me…" Noel +didn't know how to phrase the question without sounding whiny or self-absorbed. She didn't feel that she was asking for any of those reasons; she just wanted to know why Ragna was so off-put by her presence. She stared down at the bed, lost in thought. "Hey! You gonna ask me or what?" Noel crashed back into reality and looked up at Ragna apologetically. "I'm sorry! Um…why…why…" She faltered. "Spit it out Noel, or I won't bother answering it!" Noel steeled herself and asked quickly, "Why does my presence bother you so much?"

Ragna stared at Noel. "Well, I, uh…don't like being around people," he said evasively. Noel frowned. "You seemed to enjoy being around Jubei. And you clearly liked Saya in your childhood. I'd even say you loved her." For Ragna the Bloodedge, the Grim Reaper, the SS-Class criminal to love someone seemed to be in the realm of impossibility for most, but to Noel, it seemed all to possible. The tough-guy façade belied something truer in his form…something more human, like compassion. "Look, Saya was my sister," started Ragna. "You mean, she is your sister." Ragna scowled. "Whatever! Noel, I don't like being around people, alright? It's just a personality trait."

He's shutting himself off again. I can't let him do that.

"Ragna, stop lying," she said bravely. Ragna looked almost taken aback.

Alright, I owe her one just for that ballsy statement.

"Fine, you want the truth Noel? Remember that whole puppet thing that bastard Terumi was talking about? Before you went bat-shit and killed off Amaterasu?" Noel nodded. Ragna continued. "You look like Saya. What do you think that implies? Hell, I'll even throw this in: Nu and Lambda also look like her. They were all, and you were, a Murokumo unit." Noel stared blankly at him; internally her mind was in freefall.

So…that's what I'm a puppet of? Saya?

"But…why do you…why are you…" Noel couldn't finish her sentence. Ragna got up and awkwardly patted her shoulder. "Um…well, you kept reminding me of Saya, and that was…well, kinda painful to say the least. I mean, that's a major reason I'm tearing up the Library, you know?" Noel nodded. "That's fine…but…why didn't you ever tell me this?" Ragna almost laughed. "What, and have you go crazy then?"

Noel shook her head. "I mean, you could have told me that I reminded you of something painful in your past. You could have even told me I looked like your sister. That would have been enough," she said in a hurt voice. Ragna rolled his eyes. "Yeah, but it was much easier just to make you shove off." Noel made an injured noise. With a sigh, Ragna awkwardly patted her shoulder again.

"Look, don't worry about it Noel. I don't…hate you or anything," he said bracingly, if a bit awkwardly, "You're alright. Mostly." Noel looked up at Ragna; she seemed to be on the verge of tears. With a sigh, Ragna sat down beside her and looked away. "Noel, I'm not…uh, good with words. I've been talking with my fists and Blood-Scythe for the longest time now, so, uh…sorry if I suck with trying to make you feel better." Ragna jumped slightly when he felt something lean against his shoulder; it was Noel's head. He rolled his eyes and said, only half-heartedly, "Enough with the touchy-feely stuff already." Noel seemed to have not heard.

Well, whatever. If it makes her feel better. See? I can be compassionate. No one asked you, asshole. Don't you mean "me"? Whatever.

After a minute or so, Noel straightened up and said quietly, "Let's go get breakfast or something…we need to be leaving soon anyway." Ragna nodded and the two left for a nearby restaurant.

Breakfast was quick and incredibly quiet, and so were the past two hours of travel; with a look of mild confusion, Ragna glanced over at Noel. She seemed to be lost in thought, which he figured at least explained why she was being so quiet. She certainly didn't look sad. Perhaps she'd accepted the truth about her origins.

I wonder what's bugging her. The whole "I'm a puppet/clone/thing of Ragna's sister" I would imagine. Yeah, but…well, I guess when she's ready to talk or somethin'.

I guess I can deal with everything Ragna's said about who I really am. He is right…humanity is more than just your origins. But at the same time…Oh God, I hope I'm not blushing.

Noel felt her face almost absently and furtively looked over at Ragna; his gaze was as dull as ever, fixed on an endless horizon and seemingly endless road. Her face wasn't warm.

Good. But…well, there go your chances of anything ever coming about your feelings for him. The last thing he'll want to do is date someone that looks like his sister, much less is a clone of her. Well…to be fair, I probably didn't have much of a chance anyway. Romance is probably the very last thing on his mind. It should really be the same for me too…there's really not much time for it. Then again, I've read a few stories online about situations like this…but those are just stories. This is reality. Nothing extraordinary ever happens in reality. Unless…well, everything that happened to him and I actually did happen…maybe the stories I read aren't so farfetched. Gah. What am I talking about? I don't have anywhere near enough courage to actually tell him. If only one of those romantic scenes could happen where it'd be so easy to say so. Why am I so wrapped up in this? I only kind of like him.

Noel faltered. That was an outright lie too.

First, I lie about actually liking him. Then I lie about how much I like him. What's wrong with me? Maybe…I don't even know anymore.

Noel shook her head repeatedly. Ragna turned back in time to see her doing so and cocked and eyebrow. "Noel? What the hell are you doing?" Noel looked up abruptly and yelped. "I'm, um…nothing! Nothing at all!" With a nervous chuckle, she caught up to Ragna and continued along, her posture and face betraying a significantly more wary disposition. "Noel? What…what are you doing?" She came to the realization that she was walking unusually rigidly; she relaxed her posture immediately, though perhaps a bit too much, as now looked rather slumped. Ragna stopped walking and stared at Noel. "What the fuck is going on with you? First you're quiet, and then you're walking around like you've got a rod up your ass, and now you look like your spine stopped working."

"I-it's nothing Ragna, nothing at all." Noel kept walking forward and put on a brave façade of normality. "Come on, we need to cover more ground if we want to get to Ikaruga." Ragna shrugged; whatever it was, she clearly didn't want him to know now.

"Ragna? Have you ever been romantically involved with someone?" The words were out of her mouth before she knew what she had said, and as her face flushed a superb crimson, she clasped her hands over mouth. Knees trembling, she waited on tenterhooks for an outburst of anger or confusion. Ragna stumbled and looked immediately at Noel. "Wh-what?" he asked. "Romantically…involved?" He stared for a moment at the ground. "N-no! I've been travelling alone for a damn long while now. When the hell would I have time for that…stuff?"

Noel lowered her hands and said cautiously, "So…no girlfriend? Ever?" Ragna looked at Noel as if he hadn't ever seen her properly before. "What the shit? Why are you so curious? This came out of a fucking nowhere." He considered her for a moment and then said, just as cautiously, "No. I've never had a girlfriend. I don't have time for those things while I'm out on the road. I move too much, I kill too much and I'm generally a threat to almost anyone that comes across me." Noel nodded, but covered her mouth to keep her from betraying anything else that could possibly compromise her. She followed mutely behind him after he started walking again. Internally, a battle raged.

Maybe you could tell him he does have time for it. Gah! Stop it, Noel! You're too hung up on this. Just stay focused on getting to Ikaruga. You don't need another thing to worry about. On the other hand, this'll keep eating away at me if I don't do something about it…But what?

"Alright, I understand," she said quietly. Agonizing silence settled between the duo once more, and Noel continued to weigh her options and courses of actions long after they had set up camp, well into the night.

Ragna sat on a broken wall near the campsite and stared out down the road. He was contemplating Noel's questions from the day before, and the implications of the questions were bringing him unease. Over in a patch of grass, Noel lie sleeping, unaware of the outside world and, fortunately for Ragna, eternally unaware of the conflict raging in his mind.

God damn it. I had a feeling something like this might happen. Damn it, Noel. You better not have fallen for me. I'm the last person you want in your life. Oh come on, I'm not that bad. I'm the damn Grim Reaper! What the hell does she want with someone like me? I saved her life. Not only that, I chose to save her life when I could have killed her. More to the point, I reached out to her in her darkest hour and… Blah blah. Yeah, I know what I did. I don't need to hear any of that sappy shit. It doesn't matter anyway; I'm too dangerous, too…unstable. I'm not mental or anything. I mean that I move around too much. Like I said earlier, I'm not the type for her. She needs someone like…I dunno, but definitely not someone like me. If I can't even think of who she needs, how can I rule myself out? I'm technically her brother! She's an artificially created human, which makes her quite different from the usual "sister" thing. What kind of bullshit technicality is that? I'm right though. That doesn't even make sense! God damn it! It's not that I like her! I just… I just what? What kind of excuse am I gonna come up with to get myself out of this one? I don't care. Even if I do like her a little, I don't like her enough to put her into that kind of danger. If she says anything, I'm telling her I can't do it. Don't you mean I like her so much I don't want to put her in that kind of danger?

…

Fuck.

Ragna stood up and beat the side of his head gently with his fist. "I'm a damn fool. This isn't going to end well for her if I stick around…I should just get out of here…" He turned and looked down the road. If he started sprinting now, he'd be far too ahead for her to catch up. He looked down at her sleeping figure; she was entirely helpless as long as she slept. Terrible, white-hot guilt bubbled in his stomach and felt like he'd deliberately killed an injured puppy. "Damn it Noel. I hope you know how much it means that I'm letting you follow me," he said aloud.

Noel rolled over and opened her eyes. Sleepily, she said, "What was that Ragna?" Ragna froze and stared fearfully at Noel. Had she heard him? "I didn't say anything. I think you were dreaming." Noel sat up and stretched, yawning all the while. She rubbed her eyes sleepily and got to her feet uneasily. Through a badly suppressed yawn she said, "Should we get going now?" Ragna nodded and beckoned for her to follow.

The two walked in relative silence for the first hour or so; Noel was still waking up for much of that time. Ragna kept his gaze firmly on the road ahead and beat away the remnants of the thoughts he had been considering prior to Noel's awakening. Perhaps, he reasoned, he could keep beating away the problem, deal with it later on when he had more space, and time to think. Preferably, that time would include Noel not being in such close proximity.

Noel, meanwhile, felt significantly more alert now that the sun was higher in the sky and took note of Ragna's statuesque stare towards the horizon. She glanced over to see if another town or some figure stood on the horizon, but the road led to the same featureless oblivion it had for the last hour.

What's he thinking about? Hm. Ooh, maybe…no…no, that's silly. But…then again…maybe he is!

Her mind began to race again, and the feeling of possessing a skull a size too small for her thoughts gripped her once more.

He could be thinking about the questions I asked him. Oh no…what if he read into them? Wait…that might be a good thing! He could have figured it out! But…do I really want that…Oh no, what if he's trying to think of how to reject me? Oh, who am I kidding? That's probably exactly what he's thinking…I'm probably too annoying…or worse…

She glanced furtively down at her chest; with a frown she looked back at the road.

Maybe I'm just not…anything enough for him. But…well, he did say he's always busy. Maybe he's just trying to figure out a way to explain it. I mean, for all that he says and does, he's seems to actually care about my safety. That's more than can be said about a lot of people. And coming from him, if he cares enough to keep me safe, that's definitely something worth noting. I think. I hope. I should tell him that it doesn't matter if he doesn't have time for a girlfriend, I can help him make time! Or…something…figure out something! Wait…gah! How am I ACTUALLY going to say that to him? What if he gets angry? I can't deal with him angry that well. What if he thinks I'm creepy? Oh no! I can't have that…but…Ohhh….what do I do? Makoto…why aren't you here to help?

Noel felt her tongue becoming increasingly agitated; it was begging to burst out and tell Ragna everything and anything to have just a chance at a relationship. Nothing more, just a simple chance.

"Hey, uh, Noel?" asked Ragna. Noel looked quickly at Ragna and felt her mouth explode. "Ragna, please, I really like you and I-I-I don't think that you won't have enough time for a girlfriend or anything like that! We'll have plenty of time on the road and stuff to…" She faltered at the look of incomprehensible shock on Ragna's face. Her face burning a bright red, Noel added, "Don't think I'm creepy or anything, I just wanted to get that…out…" She faltered once more and stopped walking, choosing instead to stare, embarrassed, at the ground.

Ragna felt that his brain had stopped functioning properly. He was completely right about Noel. There remained but one problem.

Now what, asshole?

Author's Notes: There we have it! Chapter 4 is done with and I've left you all with a cliffhanger because I'm…a…jerk like that? Chapter 5 will be up eventually, I need to decide how I want it to work out. In the meantime, I think Ragna's Apartment and To (especially To) need a little TLC. As always, your comments are appreciated! Ta!