AN: Hee hee.
Chapter 4
He was up to something.
I said as much to Heidi as we headed to our first class. It was Feminist Writings 101. It seemed fitting.
"Do you think he met someone else?" Heidi stated, making my eyes narrow. I skidded to a halt. "You two are so different..."
"No."
"No?" She looked at me warily.
"Let me key you into some truths, Miss Marilyn." Marilyn as in Marilyn Manson. "My kid is faithful, because it is a fact that he loves me in a way that could border on disturbed. On that note, if he is being shifty, it has to be something that is for my benefit. A benefit that I don't particularly want at the moment. Think impromptu weddings or a horrible grandma mobile that will protect me like a tank."
She looked at me in confusion. "You two are opposites!"
I looked at her and the campus. It made me want to wear tweed and smoke a pipe.
"He plays Dungeons & Dragons. Edward also likes to wear tunics and breeches when relaxing at home," I explained.
"Oh," Heidi said simply. "Now it all makes sense."
"It does." I nodded, as we continued towards the large building that housed our first college class. "Now we need to see what my kid is up to. I like to plan out his punishment early. It's better than coming up with something on the fly. This is how I keep him in line."
"Are we playing super spies?" Heidi asked.
"Yes. Mary Jane is coming this weekend and she has perfect plans for these operations." I tapped my chin. "Kid will be distracted by Teeth. He'll be itching to let his best boy friend in on his duplicity."
"What?" Heidi asked. "Can you please speak English and not Bella Speak for one minute!"
Right.
"Kate used to be a stoner. I called her Mary Jane and it stuck. She's my best friend and now that her head is clear, she can come up with great plans. Teeth is Garrett. He has a large smile. It's scary and full of his pearly white chompers. Edward, my kid, tells him everything."
"You have everyone figured out, don't you?" She asked in amazement.
"I do, Grasshopper. Follow my lead and you might someday get marginally close to my powers."
As we approached the entrance of the building covered in collegiate ivy found most often at Ivy League destinations, I was shocked by the large amount of polo wearing young men that stood hovering. There wasn't a keg or a lacrosse match taking place, so shouldn't they be at the frat playing sexually harass the freshmen?
That's when my personal hell came to New Haven.
"Bella! Darling Bella! That's my best friend, Bella! And boys...that girl's lips are magical!"
The preppy sea of boys parted and there she stood.
The diabolical cheerleader of doom was leering in front of me.
Tanya Fucking Denali.
"Hi sugar, it seems we are exploring feminism together!" She winked at the boys and pushed out her boobs. "I'm a lesbian."
They almost all fell over from lust.
"Larry?" Please let her say he's coming to whisk her away from here.
"We parted ways." She said with a little pout. "He said I was needy."
No shit.
She gave me a horrible little smirk. "There was an opening in the room next to yours."
No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.
"Bella?" Heidi shook me out of my shock. "Are you friends with her?"
"Hells no," I whispered. "She came out of the bowels of hades to ruin my college experience."
"That cleavage says bowels of hell," Heidi said quietly.
I noticed Heidi staring at Tanya's inappropriate cleavage with swoony eyes.
I didn't predict that twisty twist.
Damn it.