"Frozen Truths"

Chapter 4 {Tris' POV}

-o-o-o-

"So, this is it, I guess." I say, leaning against the front counter, my shoulders drooping.

Tori turns to me after taking off her apron, the corners of her mouth turned down. "Yes, I believe that this is the end of your time here."

"I'm sure I'll be back, I doubt I'll be up to their standards, anyway." I say, laughing, but it's forced.

"Don't discredit yourself, Tris," she says, shaking her head. "You'll do great. I know you will. But you are always welcome here, no matter what happens."

"This place will always be like a second home to me. Whether I'm working here as a waitress, or missing it when I'm dusting bookshelves."

"And you make sure you come in and visit if you get the chance," she says, pointing her finger at me. "I'll be waiting to hear all the latest."

"Sure." I say, smiling weakly. There's a dull ache in my chest; I know that it's unlikely that I'll have the time to visit, considering my shift times. But I can't bring myself to tell her, athough, I think she may already know for herself.

"I'll have to put out job advertisements, to get you a replacement. Maybe one of the high school kids may be looking to make some extra cash, just as you once were." Tori says as she locks up the register.

"Yeah, there will be some teenager out there looking for a part-time job, I'm sure of it," I assure her. "But are you sure you'll be ok on your own until you get a replacement?"

"Of course, I ran this place without you once, and I'm sure I can do it again." She teases, half heartedly.

"Yeah, but you had Bud then.."

I watch her smile slip, and she sags against the counter, the opposite side to me, and I wish I'd never mentioned it. Bud is her husband, and he used to run the diner with her, before I began my job here.

He got in a bad motor cycle accident, and was in a coma for a couple days, but he eventually woke. But he had long-term back injury, which meant he was confined to a wheelchair for a long time, until he was strong enough to use crutches.

Now he can safely manoeuvre around the house using those crutches, but is in no position to be going back to work, meaning Tori had to run the diner by herself, with only one part-time waitress, so she put out a job advert - and that's how I found out about it, and applied.

I've met Bud a handful of times, and he really is sweet, which proves my theory - bad things always happen to the best kinds of people. I never usually bring him up in conversation, since Tori gets upset about the whole ordeal, and I can understand that. So I feel guilty about this slip-up.

A ghost of a smile pulls at her lips, as if remembering something. "We met in a diner, you know," she tells me. "Our senior year of high school. He was the school dreamboat, and I was the quiet Emo girl who sat at the back of the class. I'd have never imagined us together, not in a million years, but it just felt so right. And the diner that once stood here became our special place, where we would come and spend our time together, away from school and parents and worries."

"So what happened?" I ask, unable to help myself. "I mean, you had to hire builders for this place, right? Wasn't this just a plot of empty space before you bought it?"

"We went away to college together, and when we returned to see family during spring break, it had been burned to the ground by a gang of sorts. All our special memories, our meeting place.. just gone," she explains. "And then after we finished college, Bud looked into the price of the old diner land, and we took out a loan.. it was our dream to rebuild a diner of our own, to recreate the memories we made together, and so that others could experience their own, just as we had. This was our dream, and we had made it into a reality. And even though he can longer help me out here, his presence is everywhere. All the decor, the quirky menu items he came up with.."

A smile tugs at my lips, but there's also a pang of longing inside of me; wishing that I could fine something as special as Tori did with Bud. They not only succeeded in making their dreams come true, but they also had each other. They had love.

"That's so sweet." I say, sliding on to one of the stools. This seems to break her out of her reminiscing moment, and she straightens up, the dreamy look that once captured her eyes, now gone.

"I was hoping that you'd bring that special guy in here one of these days." She adds.

My eyes roll back dramatically. "Well, you know what they say about hope - it breeds eternal misery."

"There is someone out there waiting for you, Tris," she tells me. "You're young and beautiful, and there's going to be a man as equally amazing as you are."

I'm not sure what qualities I'd look for in a guy. I guess I've never really thought about it. They'd definitely have to be kind, I'd never go for a shit stick like Peter Hayes again, biggest mistake of my life. And they'd also have to be outgoing. Adventurous, maybe.

But there's nobody like that in this town, and I'd know - I've met them all. And it's not like I'll ever escape this provincial life, anyway. The lights of the city are simply out of the question.

"Whatever," I shrug. "I don't need a knight in shining armour to save the day; I can do that all by myself, thank you very much."

"I don't doubt that for a second." She laughs, as she rounds the counter, so that she stands right next to me now.

"Do you mind if I stay a little longer? I could lock up? I'll leave out back, and hide the key under the third dumpster along, just like always." I ask, looking up at her.

"Of course," Tori agrees, a look of understanding crossing her features. She hands over the key and rests a hand on my shoulder, leaning in to kiss my cheek. "I wish you all the best, Tris. You are like a daughter to me, and it will always stay that way. You take care of yourself now."

She turns away and walks towards the front door, but looks over her shoulder before opening it up.

"Goodnight for the last time, Tris Prior."

A watery smile is on my lips as I say, "Goodnight for the last time, Tori Wu."

And then she's gone, and it's only me in the diner, the sound of the clock ticking chipping away at the silence. A sigh escapes my mouth, and I run my fingers through my hair. I can't believe that this is it, that my time here is up.

I got a call on Sunday from Nita - sorry, Miss Pablos, informing me that I have been given the maid position. To say that I was psyched was an understatement, though I fought to stay professional during the phone call. But I would be lying if I said that I didn't let out a squeal when I hung up.

Things like this don't just happen to girls like me, but the fact that it has is leading me to believe that maybe my luck is about to change. Maybe. I hope so.

It's now Tuesday, and I'm supposed to be starting tomorrow - as promised, it's been arranged that my first day will be spent learning the ropes, Christina being my supervisor. I just hope she's not uptight, and we're able to get along; it'll make working there that much easier.

Apparently, I'll be meeting the seemingly mysterious fiancé, who is yet to make an appearance. If he's anything like Nita - which I expect he will be - I'm going to have to cut out my tongue to stop me from spitting out profanities when they piss me off. But I need this job, which means I have to do my set duties, sufficiently and thoroughly.

I assured Miss Pablos that I was up to the job, and I'm not all bark and no bite, so I must meet my word, which I know that I can do.

I glance around the diner, and I know that it's going to be hard to walk away from this, but it's neccesary. I have to take care of my mom, and the only way I can effectively do that is if I get a good-paying job. But living on one minimum wage paycheque isn't enough, nowhere near.

I approach the booth at the back of the right corner, running the pads of my fingers over the tabletop. Back in high school, my friends and I would come here every Friday night, for fries and milkshakes. We would sit around and talk, take pictures of one another, chat about boys, gossip about the drama happening during that particular week - your average teenage girl antics, really.

Then I turn to look at the stools that face the large window, that overlooks the street. Caleb and I would come here to study sometimes; when Mom had her book club over, or dad was watching the football with his pals. We would bring our books, order a cola float, and just study together.

With this being the only decent diner around, it's a hot place for teenagers to hang out, and they make up the majority of our customers.

I'm not sure whether that memory is a good one, though. Because Caleb is no longer the boy I used to sit here with, making flash cards. No, he couldn't be more different. And it's definitely not a change for the better.

He once used to be modest when it came to his brain capacity, and how clever he really was, but now he enjoys using his intellect to make him appear better than everyone else. He's arrogant, deluded and selfish. He's no brother of mine, and never will be again.

He abandoned us when we needed him the most, and doesn't care about us. Dad would be so ashamed if he saw him right now, I just know it. We were raised properly, to be good, selfless citizens. But Caleb strayed from that path. I'm not sure whether it had something to do with the impact of dad's death, or maybe he just grew up and became a giant dick.

Either way, I want nothing to do with him.

Tori made some memories at her diner, and I made some in this one. Maybe I didn't meet the love of my life over a Sloppy Joe, but I did create moments here that I'll carry with me, and that won't change now that I've got a new job, and am having to move on.

I head over to the counter and grab an iced cookie from the glass jar, and then secure the lid back on. I hop up onto the countertop and nibble at the cookie, my legs swinging. These iced cookies are my specialities (next to my beignets), and I have been making them for a long while.

I remember when it was a particularly slow day, and Tori had bought her four year old daughter - Summer - into work, because their babysitter had cancelled. So as Tori served out front, I stayed in the back, teaching Summer how to make iced cookies. She is a very pretty girl, and resembles Tori in many ways - from the raven hair, to the dark, angular eyes. She was pretty good at icing, for a four year old, I must admit.

That day, I came home with a smile on my face, which is a rare occurance; going home to your intensely depressed mother isn't something to smile about, obviously.

After finishing the brightly decorated cookie, I plant my feet back on the ground and lock up the front door before beginning to stack up chairs on tables.

I flick off the light switches, and slip out of the backdoor, locking it behind me. I hide the key where it is usually placed, and migrate back onto the main street, away from the dumpsters.

It's late, later than I believed it to be, and there's not a soul in sight. The street lights are dull, giving out minimal light, and I begin the walk home, stuffing my hands deep in my pockets, shielding them from the cold.

As I go further into the rougher part of the estate, there appears to be more life around. A gaggle of teenagers sit on the street corner, throwing around empty beer cans, and chugging new ones. I stand taller, and quicken my pace - around here, ducking your head and slinking away into the shadows makes you more of a target than if you just walk by with confidence.

But still, a few of them holler things like, "I'd tap that", or "Damn, what I would do to an ass like that". I just walk by normally, pretending that they aren't even there, and they pay no more attention to me, thank goodness. I'm only five foot, and rather skinny; there's no way I'd be able to fight off one guy, let alone seven.

I arrive home quickly, checking over my shoulder constantly to check that I'm not being followed, and then let myself in the front door.

-o-o-o-

I wake with a scream, bolting up into a sitting position, tears wetting my cheeks and my lungs refusing to work. I wrap my arms around my legs and bury my face into my knees, struggling to breathe again.

It all felt so real. I heard the screech of the tires, the ambulance sirens, his strangled cries. It felt as if I was really there, watching it all, unable to do anything about it.

I haven't had a nightmare like that for over a year now, so I'm not certain of what brought this on. Perhaps it's because I'm stressing about my first day of work. Or maybe it's just some kind of unidentified grief still lurking around in my head somewhere. I'm not sure.

I used to have nightmares often as a child, though. It was usually your average scary events - strange men trying to take me from my house, ghosts, clowns.. you name it.

But I always had someone to comfort me; whether it be mom or dad. They'd rush in and soothe me and hug me as I cried. And then they'd tuck me back into bed and promise me that nothing could hurt me while they were around. And I believed it.

But as I sit here in my small, neglected room, I have nobody. There's no hugging, no comforting, no reassuring whispers in my ear. Just emptiness, and the sounds of me slightly choking on the air.

If mom heard my scream, she won't be able to understand what's happening. So I have to be able to reassure myself. I have no one left to look after me now - so just like everything I do - I must do it myself.

I sit up straight and wipe my cheeks with the heels of my hands, forcing myself to take extensive, steady breaths. Swinging my legs out of bed, I stand, startling as they make contact with the cold wooden floor.

Leaving my bedroom, I head into the bathroom across the hall and start up the shower. I strip off my pyjamas and step under the hot stream of water, letting it soothe my burning muscles, and wash away tears staining my cheeks.

I lather up my hair with shampoo and conditioner, and make sure to wash my face too. The last thing I want this morning is red, puffy eyes.

After all, I'm trying to make a good impression. After my shower, I pad back over to my bedroom, wrapped up in a towel, and open up my old, wooden closet.

Miss Pablos had my uniform sent over yesterday, and I was a little taken aback. I've been given a cliche, black and white maids outfit, like we're being taken back in time to when these kind of uniforms were normal. When I saw Christina during my interview, I failed to acknowledge what she was wearing, but now I realise that she had an exact replica of the uniform I have been given.

I put on my black bra and matching panties, and then tug the outfit over my head, adjusting it into place.

I look at myself in my mirror, and a small groan slips past my lips. It's impossibly cliche, it almost makes me want to vomit. And it's also fairly short too, I think she may have misjudged my clothing size, because any shorter, it would be a crop top.

I straighten the white, frilled apron and grab my black converse from the closet, leaving them up tightly. After drying my hair and brushing it through, I apply a little concealer under my eyes to hide the trauma of last night, and a sweep of powder to set it.

I tuck my bus money in the apron of my uniform and then exit my bedroom, descending the stairs. Glancing at the kitchen clock, I see that it is 5:56am meaning I have exactly 64 minutes to get to my job.

I drag a chair from the table over to the sink, and stand on it to reach the high cupboard, containing mom's medicines for the day. I've got to measure out the right amount and leave it on the coffee table with a glass of water.

Tori is going to be checking in on here at around midday - just before the lunch rush - to make sure she's taken the pills and to feed her some soup.

She can't have an overdose on the meds I've given her; seeing as there's so little of them, she would need more to fall into an overdose state. I've got it all figured out.

Quickly, I make up a mug of tea, milky with two sugars - just how she likes it - and carry it into the living room where she lies, still asleep on the couch. I kiss her forehead and brush hair away from her eyes, lingering for only a moment before leaving the room, hesitantly.

I feel bad, leaving her here for some long on her own, but I don't have a choice, really. We need the money that I'll get from this job, which means I have to do anything to keep it.

I move towards the front door, but falter as I catch my reflection in the hall mirror. I stop and stare at myself, grey eyes piercing right through me.

My fists clench at my sides, determinedly, as I mutter, "I can do this."

-o-o-o-

Authors Note:

Hey y'all! So sorry for the super slow update, but I've been really busy. This chapter is slightly shorter than the others, but I really wanted to post a new chapter for you guys!

I know a lot of you are anxious for our couple to meet, and they will do in the next chapter so stay tuned! And I would also like to thank you all for the support so far! It's crazy!

Drop me a review and let me know what you thought to this chapter :)

- GuiltyMind