Bright lights shone red through Lil's eyelids. The sharp tang of antiseptic filled her nose.
'Must be hospital,' Lil's mind was sluggish with a combination of shock and drugs. With a little effort, she was able to focus her mind to waking and the mumble of voices that had seemed so far away just a second ago cleared. Another moment and she was able to recognise them.
"I'm fine, doctor, stop worrying about me. How is Lil doing?" It was Commander Shepard, his voice low and full of concern.
"She's been stable for a while now and there's nothing serious now, she's just going to need some time to recover." Dr Chakwas' soothing voice reached her ears.
"I think after this, we all need some time off. We're due some shore leave soon, I think I might put it forward a little."
"I can't say that I wouldn't welcome the break, Shepard."
"Wh-what happened?" Lil managed to squeeze out a few words before her throat closed around a dry lump, sticking to the next words before they could come out. She screwed her eyes shut tighter, wincing with the effort of speaking.
"Lillabeth," Chakwas' voice came closer, "You're awake. How do you feel? Any dizziness, nausea?"
Lil felt the doctor's hand on her arm, then Shepard spoke; "Can you sit up?"
She swallowed the dry lump in her throat, "I think so," she whispered, gingerly opening her eyes and letting in the blinding light. With a deep breath she braced her arms to push herself upwards, only to find her right arm protested with a searing pain right up to her shoulder. Leaning onto her left arm she awkwardly pushed herself upwards with a little help from the worried doctor.
"Shit, that hurts. What happened? How long was I out?"
"I don't know what happened before Shepard got me out of that tube, but when I got to you, you were already out and in a pretty bad way." Chakwas explained,
"It was a miracle you even survived, Lil. That beam hit you full on and ripped right through your shield and armour." Shepard paced as he spoke, "If it had hit me, on top of all that other fire, I know I wouldn't be here now. You saved my life," he looked almost embarrassed, "Thanks."
Lil shifted and swung her legs over the edge of the bed, "You don't think in places like that, Commander, you just act." Despite her brave words, Lil's stomach churned at the thought of her own mortality. "What's the damage, doctor? Anything I need to know about? My arm sure hurts like hell."
"It'll hurt for a while yet, Lil." Chakwas perched on the edge of Lil's cot, "There isn't anything serious now," she said slowly, "But when we got you back to the ship, it was too late to just patch you up with medigel. There was extensive damage to your right arm, particularly your hand, so I'm afraid we had to operate."
"Operate?" Lil's voice shook as she spoke, looking down at her hand. With the advances in technology, operations were rare, with most things being fixed with medigel or nanomachines. "But my arm looks fine, apart from a couple of scars. How bad could it have been?"
"To put it bluntly, you lost most of your hand. We had to replace most of it with cybernetics and implants, then force grow some new skin rapidly, in sections to graft it on before the remaining muscles began to scar."
Looking closer now at her hand, Lil was the patchwork pattern of the newly-grown skin, the scars tracing a wide lattice that stretched up most of her forearm. Around her elbow, the skn colour was darker where her skin had survived the blast, but had been badly burned, giving the effect of her wearing some sort of pale, morbid glove. She tested her hand, clenching and flexingher fingers, turning her hand over and back, "But I can feel it, when I move it. It doesn't feel quite right but I can feel it."
"The nanotechnology is linked into your nervous system. It reproduced sensation and the feeling of movement as accurate-"
"Lil, it's the best we have." Shepard spoke for the first time in a few minutes, cutting Dr Chakwas off. "Sure, it's not the same, but the Doc did a good job. I'm just glad you're alive. I couldn't have handled if anyone didn't survive that mission, least of all the woman that saved me." he approached Lil's bed. "Come on, I'll give you a had back to your quarters so you can rest. Not that you'll get much for a while, I expect everyone's going to want to check on the ship's new heroine."
"Thanks, Shepard," Lil sighed as she sank onto her bunk, "I guess I should prepare for the influx of visitors, but I just want to sleep."
"Best get a quick nap in, then," her commander rose and paced to the door. Turning, he smiled, "Tell you what, I'll try and head everyone off for a while, let you at least get some rest."
"Thanks, Shepard." she paused, "I seem to be saying that a lot lately." she chuckled.
"I should be the one thanking you, Lil," he seemed more relieved now that she was out of the medical lab, smiling still as he turned to leave.
"Shepard. You never told me how long I was out."
The Commander sighed, "About two days. We're back through the relay and in orbit around Illium for the time being. I think we might stay here for some shore leave," he grinned then like a proud brother, "You've done well, Lil. Get some rest."
The engineer nodded as her commander left, the door swooshing shut behind him to leave Lil in the silence of the empty room. Swinging her legs around, she lay back on the bed, her arm protesting as she made herself comfortable. With a deep breath, Lil tried to clear her mind so she could try and remember what had happened on the base, but her mind remained a confused collection of thoughts, images and memories from her life.
The day she joined the Alliance Military, a scared young woman barely more than a child... Working harder than she thought possible to push her body to be as quick as her mind... Her first combat drone... Her mother's face at her passing out parade... Her first kiss, Ben, her neighbour, behind the stadium on sports day... The first man she loved, his smile, his betrayal... Drinking with her squaddies on shore leave... Meeting Shepard, the hero of the Skyllian Blitz... Leaving the Military to take the chance of her lifetime as a Cerberus engineer... The Commander joining... Asking her personally to be on his crew... Meeting everyone on the Normandy... Making friends with Kelly, the yeoman...
So much had happened in her life that she had not realised. Lil always thought of herself as a standard, normal sort of person. She was support, background, a junior officer, middle of the pile and she was happy with that. Though there was a niggling feeling that everything was about to change.