Disclaimer – I don't own Glee.
A.N – I apologise to any major Mike fans about the previous chapter!
Blaine's head was chaos. He had his back to Tina as he sat on the toilet floor, facing the door through which they'd entered to get away from the gunman. And Mike's dead body. He had his head resting in hands, knees pulled up to his chin, and was rocking slightly. Neither of the students had spoken since they'd entered the toilets, apart from the odd moans and sobs from Tina. Blaine had too many thoughts rattling inside his head to talk right now. Plus, although he didn't want to admit it, he couldn't face Tina right now.
Blaine's head swarmed as he tried to order his thoughts and recall what had happened in the past hour: there was a gunman in school, Kurt and Tina were missing, Blaine and Mike had gone to find them, Mike was dead, and Tina was here.
He decided to just keep repeating these simple facts to himself and hope that they would start to seem real and make sense to him. Blaine thought it was just like the action movies Finn liked. All the blood, gore and shootings. It didn't seem real.
"B-Blaine," Tina brought Blaine out of his daze, "Blaine, how could-how could you leave him like that?"
It was obvious Tina was trying to hold it together but her voice was cracking. Blaine recalled the moment in his mind when he was frozen to the spot after spotting Mike. He couldn't move, couldn't have helped Mike if he wanted to. The image was clear in his mind as he relived the moment he'd found Mike's body, spread-eagle on the floor.
The memory was too vivid for Blaine's liking so he shut it off, and without turning to face Tina, answered "I-uhm, I don't know."
He could tell his words had hurt Tina, as she stifled another sob before pushing Blaine. "Blaine, I need…I need to know, please?"
Blaine shook his head and looked down. The girl began crying again and moved over to wear Blaine sat. She grabbed his shoulders and shook him until he looked up at her. He regretted that act the minute his eyes set on her face. It was red and blotchy from her tears, but what was worse was the light had seemed to disappear from her eyes. Blaine couldn't explain it but he'd never seen someone look so, sad. Her eyes were lifeless and bloodshot, tears still falling.
"He was the love of my life! The love of my life and he was taken away from me, Blaine!"
"I know!" Blaine cried, his voice cracking.
He was numb, unable to feel Tina's harsh words and punches on his chest, "You don't understand what you've done. You could have saved him. Mike, oh, Mike. It's your fault Blaine!" He let her lay into him, punching him with all the energy she could muster.
In all honesty, Blaine knew the reason why Tina's words didn't hurt him. It was because he had been thinking the same thing: it was all his fault. He had been the one to kill Mike. Yes, he wasn't the one who had shot him, but he'd done just as a good as by letting Mike leave the choir room with him. It was all his fault.
Tina soon gave up punching Blaine and collapsed into his body. Blaine wrapped his arms around her and cradled her whilst she cried.
"I love him," she whispered as Blaine nodded along with her, stroking her hair. "I love him."
After a while, Blaine had noticed Tina's cries had stopped and she had drifted off to sleep, obviously overwhelmed and exhausted over the previous events. Blaine, who had no concept of time trapped in the bathroom, just the same four walls to stare at and think.
During his and Tina's time in the bathroom, he had constantly begged Tina to tell him what had happened to Kurt, without trying to upset her. Eventually, just before the tears had stopped, she had whispered to him that Kurt had left before the first shot was even fired, to get more paper towels. Tina had been alone in the bathroom when the first, and rest of the shots were fired.
This worried Blaine to no end. He tried to create a clever a plan that would both keep Tina safe; he couldn't have another death on his hands, and rescue Kurt, but to no avail. For starters, Blaine had no idea where Kurt was. For all he knew, as much as he tried to push the thought aside, Kurt could be dead. And although this thought threatened to eat him up, Blaine had to cling onto the tiny ray of hope that Kurt was alive and safe.
So far, Blaine's plans were nothing more than mere ideas. He could leave Tina here, alive and asleep on the bathroom floor. The gunman had passed and probably wouldn't come back this way. Even if he did, he wouldn't need to come into the girl's bathroom for anything, surely? After that, he could make his way right, away from the gunman, the choir room and Mike's body, (which ached Blaine to even think about) and check every bathroom and classroom down the corridor until he was reunited with Kurt.
His second option was to sit and wait. Wait for the Police or Squat Team or even a teacher to come and tell him that the school was safe once again. Although Blaine knew this would keep himself and Tina safe, as long as the gunman didn't return, he couldn't help but feel guilty. After what had happened with Mike, Blaine wanted to prove to everyone, in particular himself, that he was capable of doing something right. He knew he could prove this by finding and rescuing Kurt. The image of the two of them running from opposite ends of the corridor, towards each other before embracing filled Blaine with hope and happiness, as he recalled characters in Kurt's favourite musicals doing a similar thing.
At the thought of Kurt, Blaine was once more filled with nervous anticipation of his boyfriend's whereabouts and safety. He finally decided that the pros of going and finding Kurt, outweighed the cons and it was time to act.
Slowly shuffling backwards, Blaine held onto Tina's head and laid it softly on the cool bathroom tiles. He gave her a quick kiss on the forehead and stood up silently. Being careful not to step on the sleeping girl, Blaine tiptoed his way towards the door.
He was caught off guard when suddenly, the bathroom door flew up. Blaine jumped back, scared out of his skin as a moment of horror struck his heart.
"Blaine!" Mr Schue stood at the door, a momentary look of anger before relief filled his face him and he ran towards the student, pulling him into a firm hug.
When Blaine pulled away, he could see the tear tracks stained his teacher's face and realised how difficult it must have been for him when two of his students decided to leave the safety of the choir room.
"Mr Schue…I-" Blaine began, wanted to apologise and explain himself, but was interrupted.
"It's fine, it's okay," Mr Schue shook Blaine's shoulders before continuing, checking Tina for injuries as he spoke. "The Police…Swat Team…they're on their way. We're all going to be alright, Blaine. Tina? Is she ok? Tina, can you hear me?"
"She's fine, just exhausted!" Blaine rushed Mr Schue, desperate to get out and find Kurt. "What about the…uhm, you know. Man with the…where is he? Where's everyone else?"
Mr Schue was lifting Tina into his arms as he spoke, "I don't know. Most of the teachers this end of the school has managed to get the kids to the library, safest place at the minute…using it as kind of a silent hospital whilst we wait…just waiting for the Swat Team, should be here any minute. We're going to be ok Blaine."
Blaine's thoughts immediately jumped to Mike, and the realisation that not all of his friends would make it through this nightmare. "Mike…" Blaine stuttered, no meaning to say the boy's name out loud.
"I know," Mr Schue whispered, breathing in deeply. Blaine knew he was holding back the tears. "But we haven't got time now, we need to act fast and get to the library. Do it for Mike, Blaine" Mr Schue had walked past Blaine, with Tina in his arms and was peering out of the bathroom door.
"I think it's safe…come on, Blaine" Mr Schue had looked around to see Blaine standing still, arms crossed and staring at him.
"No. Not until I've found Kurt." Blaine knew he couldn't let what had happened with Mike happen to Kurt so he forced himself to fight against Mr Schue.
"Blaine, don't do this now…" Mr Schue began but stopped himself as he could tell by the look on Blaine's face that the student was serious. "If Kurt was in this part of the school, then he'd have been taken to the library with the rest of the students. We need to move fast, don't worry Blaine, he's a smart kid. He'll keep safe. Now, come on!" This time, Mr Schue grabbed Blaine's arm, juggling Tina in his other hand, and pushed him out of the door.
The pair took one last look down the corridor to make sure it was clear, before turning quickly and making their way towards the library.
As they set off, Blaine thought of the time he and Kurt sang 'Silly Love Songs' to each other, and the thread of hope he had been clinging onto grew the smallest amount; he might finally find Kurt safe.