Scars Never Fade

A/N: Thanks everyone who reviewed and congratulated me on my engagement. I read them so I was in a good mood and decided that I'd post again as soon as possible. So here it is...

But first, just a warning, in this chapter things are gonna get pretty serious, so if you can't handle under-aged prostitution (not graphic in any way) then don't read. Also, the next chapter is gonna involve slash, so if ya don't like, don't read.

So, NOW, here it is...

Chapter Four

Zigzags mother was a large woman. She smiled a lot, Squid noticed. His own mother never smiled.

"Can Squid stay fo dinner?" Zigzag asked.

"Of course," Zigzags mother smiled.

"Thanks Mrs Kasch," Squid said, feeling uncharacteristically shy in such a big, expensive house. He felt out of place.

"Oh please, don't call me Mrs Kasch! It makes me feel so old!" she laughed, "Call me Sharon."

Squid just smiled.

"Come on Squid, I'll show you my room."

"Dinner will be ready in ten minutes you two!" Sharon called after them.

"OK mum!" Zigzag called back. "My rooms upstairs," he said quieter.

Squid followed him, taking in his surroundings in awe. He'd never seen so many expensive things in one house, apart from Cavemans and Zeros, but that was different, they were millionaires.

Zigzags room also matched the rest of the house. It was painted blue and had a tv, computer and its own bathroom.

"Wow," Squid stood in the middle of the room, "Your house is amazing."

Zigzag shrugged, flopping down on his bed, "It's no bigger than yours."

"Huh?" Squid asked before he could stop himself, then he remembered the white house, "Oh yeah... yeah."

Squid looked at the photos on Zigzags desk. They were all of Zigzag and his mother, apart from one which was of D-Tent the day they left Camp.

"Where's your dad?" he asked.

"Don't got one," Zigzag said, unconcerned.

Squid whirled around and looked at him hard, "Don't you?"

"Nah, he took off when I was two."

Squid was surprised that anyone could be so open about their father leaving.

"But, you know, so what? I mean, you don't have a dad either."

"I do too!" Squid lied indignantly.

"Oh," Zigzag sat up, "Sorry, I just assumed... I mean, you only ever talk about your mum."

Squid turned away, "He's in the army."

Zigzag shrugged, "I don't think about my dad, it's his loss, ain't it?"

Squid nodded, "Yeah, his loss..."

"Boys! Dinner's ready!" Sharon called.

"Come on," Zigzag said, "My mum's the best cook ever."

Squid followed Zigzag down the stairs and into the dining room, still feeling slightly unwelcme. Sharon changed that though. Squid decided very quickly that she was the nicest person he had ever met. Unlike most adults, she called him Squid instead of Alan. She had a no-nonsense approach to life that Squid liked.

"So Squid, you were at Camp Green Lake with Ricky?"

Squid nodded.

"What were you in for?"

"Mum!" Zigzag hissed. He turned to Squid, "Sorry, she doesn't know when to be quiet."

"Ricky, I asked Squid a question, that's all. If you don't want to answer, Squid, that's alright with me."

Squid shrugged, "Breaking and entering, and theft."

Sharon nodded, "Well, we all make mistakes, don't we?"

Squid shrugged again.

"You know Sharon, Zig was right, you're a great cook. This is the best food I've ever tasted!" Squid was feeling much more comfortable now.

Sharon beamed, "Thank you Squid! And you too Ricky."

She cleared her throat, "Well, I'd better go clean up."

Squid looked at his watch, "I guess I'd better go."

"Ok, Squid, it was nice meeting you."

"Nice meeting you too Sharon."

Sharon flashed him her award winning smile before disappearing into the kitchen.

Zigza walked Squid to the door.

"Are you sure you don't want me to walk home with you?"

"Yeah. I'll be fine. Man Zig, your Ma is awsome!"

Zigzag shrugged, "Yeah, she's alright, I guess."

"Zig, she's great! Dude, you have no idea how lucky you are."

(break... this hasn't been working when I do my star-star-star -- things so from now on I'll just write 'break')

"ALAN!" We're outta booze! Go buy some more!"

"I'm not old enough to buy alcohol Ma."

"Well, steal it then! You're good at that, aren't you?"

"Ma-"

"Do you want a hiding?! Get outta my house and don't come back without something to drink!"

Squids mother slammed the trailor door in his face. Squid stood there for a moment, trying hard not to cry. He'd lied when he said he never got scared. Most of the things he said these days were lies. He got scared, not when his mother was drunk, but when she wasn't. He was scared that she actually hated him as much as the alcohol told her she did.

He leant against the trailor door, putting his head to it. It was hard to believe that just an hour ago he'd been at Zigzags house, eating and laughing and not being afraid that he'd speak too loud and get smacked, or say something wrong and get smacked, or move and get smacked.

Finally he stood up straight. He looked down at himself - faded jeans and a black t-shirt. He was wearing his white cap with the stripes through it. Not the perfect outfit but it would have to do.

This was his back-up plan, the last resort, and it was so easy, it didn't even require planning. It was so much simpler that breaking into houses.

His watch said 9:30 so he'd be able to catch the bus. He thought about bus time-tables as he walked to the bus stop, he thought about the prices of beer, wine, compared them, added them, multiplied them. He thought about his fake ID that he hardly ever had to use. No one asked. No one cared.

He took the bus to his desired destination and stood at the bus stop for a moment, trying to re-aquaint himself with the street, the nameless faces, the heavy atmosphere. The street seemed to sigh. It was like the bored bar-tender who served you saying, "So what's your story, kid?" but never really listened to the answer.

Squid leant against a street lamp so the rim of his cap left his face in shadow.

(break)

Squid walked slowly down the school corridor the next day, limping slightly. He knew he had dark rings under his eyes, which were half closed. His eyelashes kept blurring his vision. He hadn't slept at all last night, but he had earned $450, so it was worth it. He'd arrived back at the trailor at 4am, dumping the case of beer on the kitchen table before stumbling to his bed. He lay there for hour, staring blindly at the ceiling, concentrating on the waves of pain that broke over his body.

He leant against his locker, putting his aching head to the cold metal, closing his eyes. He tried to feel hate for his mother, he tried so hard to hate her for what she made him do, for what she'd done to him, for becoming what she'd become. But he couldn't do it. She was his mother, and, much as he wanted to hate her, he knew he loved her.The person he hated was himself. He'd always hated himself, for as long as he could remember, he hated himself at Camp Green Lake, when he got there and when he left, he hated himself before getting arrested, before getting into crime, beforehe worked the streets, before his mother first hit him.

The metal of his locker was warming up, so he took a deep breath and opened his eyes, straightening up.

He limped to the cafetaria, not bothering to get a tray of food, and sat down next to Zigzag at D-Tents table.

"Geez! You look terrible!"

"Thanks," Squid muttered sarcastically.

Zigzag nudged him, "Aren't you eating?"

Squid shook his head, thn laid it down on the table.

"Are you ok?"

"Mmhm."

D-Tent exchanged glances.

"What's wrong?"

Squid made an effort to lift his head but gave up.

"Nuttin'. Just tired."

"What time did you get to sleep last night?"

"I didn't."

"Why not?"

Squid shrugged.

They were quiet for a while, then Caveman spoke up, "Hey, my mum wants to know if you guys wanna come round for dinner tomorrow, she hasn't seen you in ages."

All of D-Tent, except for Squid and Caveman, smiled. They loved Cavemans house and there was always heaps of delicious food.

Cavemans offer reminded Zigzag of his own. He nudged Squid to make sure he was awake.

"Wha...?"

"My mum wants you to come for dinner again soon, she says you're too skinny."

"Ok..."

Next thing Squid knew, someone was shaking him and there was a loud ringing in his ears.

"Squid, wake up!"

"Huh?"

"You fell asleep, we gotta get to class."

"Oh... ok."

Squid stood up, reaching for his bag. He looked around at the emptying cafetaria.

"What class do I have?" he asked, trying to catch up on what was happening.

"Your favourite subject subject," Zigzag grinned, "History."

"Urgh!" Squid groaned, "Why'd you have to wake me?"

"Because," Zigzag took Squids arm and began pulling him out of the cafetaria, "You're not allowed to skip school anyone."

"Can't I just skip history?" Squid moaned.

"Nope," Zigzag grinned.

"I hate you."

"You say that about everyone."

(break)

Squid stood awkwardly with his hands in his pockets, feeling even more uncomfortable at Cavemans house than he had been at Zigzags. Everyone was swimming in the pool, splashing and laughing.

Squid couldn't go in the pool, he couldn't wear swimming shorts in front of D-Tent. They'd see the bruises.
"Aren't you coming in?" Caveman asked.

Squid shook his head, "Nah. I'm gonna go get a drink," he said quickly before anyone could ask why he wasn't swimming.

Squid got himself a glass of water, wondering why his hands were shaking. Maybe it was just being in Cavemans house, where there were so many expensive things...

Squid shook his head to get rid of the thoughts. He wouldn't steal from friends, never...

He clenched his hands into fists to stop himself. He'd forgotten how tempting it was, how easy.

He went back outside and stood by the pool, watching the others.

The feeling was still building up inside him, his hands were shaking so badly he had to put them in his pockets to hide them.

"Well, I'd better go," he said, aware that he was looking uneasy.

"OK," Caveman looked at him oddly.

"See ya."

Squid left quickly, before anyone had a chance to say anything, his hands now curled into fists as he walked past all the expensive nick-nacks that wouldn't be missed...

"Whats up with him?" Magnet asked.

X-Ray shrugged, "Who know? He's getting to be as weird as you Zigzag."

Before Zigzag could reply, Cavemans mother appeared in the doorway.

"Has anyone seen my pearl earrings? I wanted to wear them tomorrow night but they don't seem to be in my jewelery box."

Caveman shook his head, "Sorry mum, I haven't seen them."

"Hmm."

There was an uncomfortable silence after she left.

"You don't think that Squid...?" Armpit broke the silence.

"Nah," Zigzag said, shaking his head, "He wouldn't."

Everyone was quiet again.

(break)

School the nest day passed quickly and uneventfully.

squid carefully avoided D-Tent, hiding his face from the students in class and in the hallways.

He has another black eye, violently purple and swollen. His mother had run out of alcohol that morning, once again delivering the ultimatum of 'come home with booze or don't come home.' At that time, not coming home at all didn't seen that bad.

(break)

"Oh crap!" Zigzag exclaimed, searching through his bag, "I think I left my notebook in my locker."

"So what?" asked Magnet, "You actually gonna do your homework?"

They all laughed, including Zigzag.

"No way, it has Beckys number in it!"

Becky was a dark haired girl in Zigzags math class. She was cute sure, but Zigzag wasn't interested. He didn't have her number. In truth, he was actually going to do his homework, but he'd never admit that to D-Tent.

"I'll be back in a minute," he called over his shoulder, "Wait for me."

Zigzag had just reached his locker when he heard a noise.

With thoughts of burglers stealing exam answers, he flattened himself against the wall and inchede his way forward. He glanced cautiously around the corner.

Breathing a sigh of relief, he saw that it was only Squid. He was about to say something but he realised that Squid was using one of the school phones.

Squid sighed impatiently, he was pacing slightly. Then he stopped, obviously because someone had answered.

"Hi, Dad? It's me, Alan-"

Zigzag, of course, couldn't hear Squids fathers reply of 'Don't call me again,' but he saw Squid break off mid-sentence, and he guessed his father had hung up on him.

Squid took the phone away from his ear and stared at it for a moment, then he sighed and put it back on the hook. He leant against the wall, hiding his face in his hands.

Zigzag felt he should say something but didn't know what.

"Hey Squid,"

The effect those two words had on Squid was astonishing. Squid jerked upright, his hands flew away from his face, knocking the phone off the hook. It swung on the cord like a hanged man, playing the dial tone.

"Oh, hey Zig," he knelt down to pick up the phone, "Uh, how long have you been standing there?"

Zigzag noticed Squid wiping his face with the back of his hand and realised tha he'd been crying.

"Not long," Zigzag lied, not wanting to cause Squid any embarrassment.

Squid put the phone back on the hook, "I was... I was just... um, making a call."

Zigzag nodded, "So do you wanna come round tonight? My mums making a roast."

Squid bit his lip, "Uh..."

"Oh come on! Mum's expecting you."

"Oh, well, ok, I guess."

"Great! See you at six?"

"Ok."

Zigzag turned and walked back to where all the other D-Tenters were waiting, smiling, until he remembered the earrings. Had Squid really taken them?

"Finally!" X-Ray said impatiently.

"What took you so long?" asked Magnet, "Where's your notebook?"

"Huh?"

"Your notebook Zig, your notebook. Honestly, you get weirder every day."