Chapter Four

Covered in blood, blood, blood, as it runs along the floor, floor, floor –

'MOM!' Lily cried, falling to her knees next to the corpse. The blood was seeping into the fabric of her jeans, staining them. She was reminded horribly of a few weeks ago, when she'd begged her mother for a pair of bright red jeans.

'Mom! Oh, God, no –'

She cried – what else could she do? She wanted to call the police, wanted to call somebody, but she was stuck beside the body, sobbing so hard it felt like she'd never breathe again.

Then the dream changed – she was very small, hugging something soft in her arms (God, what IS it?) but no matter how hard she looked, she couldn't see what it was. The ground was so close – she was sitting on the steps of the old house, the house she'd lived in before she'd turned six, when they moved – she was upset but not crying, simply cuddling whatever was in her arms, thinking I should give this to him –

Him? Who's him?

(Ishouldgivethistohim)

Who is HE –?

Lily woke up to find herself in a different cell from the one she'd been in last night. The nurse had given her a shot to 'make her relax' and of course she'd been knocked out for God knew how long. She sighed, looking around the room and jumped in shock when she saw her roommate.

'Howdy pardner,' Jenna said, smiling mischievously as she lay on her side.

'What are you doing here?' Lily whispered, lifting herself up so that her chin rested on her hand.

'Actually, what are you doing here? This is my cell – they just moved you into it.'

'Why?'

'Because my roommate had a bad case of the crazies,' Jenna said, rolling her eyes. 'The guards were pulling her out when I woke up. I don't think I was meant to see them sooo I said if you were moved to my room, I wouldn't say anything.'

'You didn't,' Lily grinned.

'I didn't. It's just a complete coincidence, I guess. These guards do weird shit all the time. And no offence to my old roommate but good riddance – I mean, she was nice and all. At least I think she was – all she ever did was scream and freak out.'

Lily frowned. 'That's really weird. 'Cause when I woke up, my roommate was gone too – and she was terrified.'

'Maybe it's a disease,' Jenna mumbled, bored with this conversation. 'If so, I'm probably infected. You?'

'Don't think I was exposed long enough,' Lily said.

Jenna laughed quietly. 'Anyway, hooray, we're rooming together.'

Lily let her head fall on her paper thin pillow. 'Hey, Jenna,' she said slowly. 'What's Doctor Crane's first name again?'

'Jonathan,' Jenna said after a pause, sitting up and scrutinizing Lily. 'Why? Is he your doc?'

Lily squirmed uncomfortably.

Jenna's eyes widened. 'You lucky bitch! He gets to be your doctor and you don't even appreciate how hot he is?'

'He's okay,' Lily said, unsure.

'Okay? He's the epitome of Sex!'

'Right, that's what I meant. He's – that.'

Jenna sighed, lying back down. 'Oh, Lily, Lily, Lily,' she said, shaking her head. 'How I wish I was you.'

'You don't,' Lily muttered to herself. 'Trust me.'

'So why do you wanna know his first name, anyway?' Jenna asked, sounding casual but Lily could hear the interest trying to cover itself.

'Just curious, it's a name,' Lily said coolly. It occurred to her that he'd not only believed her but had transferred her as well. Had he recognised her from the papers or something? If so, that had been one stroke of luck.

Jenna grinned sneakily. 'Did you look at it?'

'What?' Lily said, momentarily confused. She sighed, rolled her eyes at Jenna. She didn't need to think about this.

Jenna just smirked, turning her face back to the ceiling. 'He makes one hell of a dream.'

'Do you mark them down whenever you have one?' Lily teased, crossing her arms.

'Dude, he makes me feel like a nymphomaniac!' No wonder he had to drop you, Lily thought. You were probably on the verge of doing something not entirely legal. 'And I've tried talking to my new psych about this but she doesn't wanna hear it, so tough for you, okay?'

Lily gave a tiresome sigh but waved a hand. Jenna threw her pillow at her new friend.

'You're not getting this back,' Lily informed, snatching the pillow off the floor and hugging it tightly to her chest. Jenna chuckled before looking back at her ceiling.

'I knew a nymphomaniac once,' Lily added.

Jenna's eyebrows rose. 'For real?'

'Yeah,' Lily said, smiling a little at the random detail, 'yeah but she was also, like, one of those people who can fall in love with objects and stuff? You know how people actually fall in love with the Eiffel Tower? Anyway, she used to go to my school – her parents were super rich – and one day we walked into the classroom and she was trying to get it on with a desk –'

Jenna burst into peals of laughter, burying her face in her hands to try and muffle the sound. Lily chucked the pillow back to shut her up. 'Shhh!'

Jenna, still snickering, looked up again. 'A desk?' she giggled.

Lily nodded, trying to smother her own laughter. 'It was probably the single most traumatizing moment of my life – I can't even remember what happened after that, I must have blocked it out.' Unlike my mom's death, she thought sadly.

'Oh, so is that why you're here? You went nuts and killed her?' Jenna asked. Lily's heart skipped a beat. She remembered Dr. Crane had said that the murder had been all over the papers. She wondered if Jenna remembered.

'Nope,' she said, shaking her head. 'I got charged for killing my mother.'

Jenna stopped laughing and nearly choked on her own spit. 'Shit,' she said, with feeling. 'I'm sorry.'

'I didn't do it,' Lily said firmly.

'Sure,' Jenna said.

'No, really. It was my stepfather.'

Jenna's eyes narrowed. 'Hang on – wait… I heard about this!' she said excitedly. 'Lily Altridge… oh man, you were on the news and everything! Yeah, yeah and your stepfather was that major businessman… I'm sorry. I remember when that came on. My mom used to say that she didn't doubt you for a second. You know. When you said you didn't kill your mom.'

'That's really kind of her,' Lily said, meaning it.

'Yeah. I miss her,' Jenna shrugged. She bit her lip before asking, 'Did you tell Doctor Crane you didn't do it?'

'Yeah.'

'He believed you?'

'Yeah,' Lily said, inhaling deeply.

'Cool,' Jenna said quietly, dropping her gaze to the floor. 'God, you're practically famous. It's like Arkham's version of TMZ.'

It was a nearly a week before anything remotely out of the ordinary happened. At least, out of the ordinary for Arkham Asylum.

Lily was sitting at the lunch tables with Jenna, unsure of whether the food in front of her was really edible. Jenna was asking her a million and one questions about Dr. Crane – most of them questions Lily wasn't really comfortable with answering.

'So, have you looked at his ass yet?'

'No.'

'What about his…?' Jenna raised her eyebrows coyly.

'No,' Lily said flatly.

'Seriously? You've nearly had him for a week…'

'Jenna, I'm in a mental asylum. I have more important things to think about than an attractive head psychiatrist –'

'AHA!' Jenna yelled, standing up. 'You said he was attractive!'

Lily looked around hastily to make sure said attractive guy was not in the room. 'Dude, sit down or I will throw this food at you!' she hissed. Jenna cracked up and did as she said, muttering to herself 'God, Lily, you really are such a prude. Plus you are the only person to threaten me with food. Oh hey, that rhymed.' She was silent for a minute, trying to work out if Lily was silently joking along with her. Lily was but she didn't intend to let Jenna know that.

'So… what have you two been doing?' Jenna wheedled, a sly look in her eyes.

In answer to Jenna's question, Lily just smiled. She couldn't help it. It was just so refreshing to have a doctor – someone credible – that believed her. Lily thought she really might be crazy: she was enjoying her sessions probably a little more than she should have. She wasn't in love with the guy or anything – she could state he was attractive the same way she could state a rhino was grey; it was just a fact. However, she was catching herself doing things she shouldn't have – such as wondering what his hair would feel like if she ran her fingers through it.

Lily shrugged. 'He just asks me how I feel. It's pretty boring, really.'

Jenna gawped at her, speechless.

Truthfully, they'd talked a bit more than about how she felt. In the end, Lily hadn't really guided the discussion towards her time at Hardwick Asylum. She'd become an expert at steering conversation towards topics she wasn't very involved in. Unfortunately, so was Dr. Crane and, boy, he was much more learned than she was. She found herself talking about her dreams, the friends she'd had before her mother had died, about her school… He'd even managed to get her on the topic of where she used to live.

'Do you remember much about your childhood? Say…' He shrugged. 'Where you used to live when you were five, six?'

'Wow, we're really getting into the "therapy" part of things, aren't we?'

He frowned. 'That does seem to be the basis of my position right now. I'm sorry if you find that a little disagreeable.'

Lily smirked, a little bewildered as she tried to remember. 'Ummm…' She frowned before shaking her head. 'Not much, sorry… I mean, I can remember drawing on the pavement in chalk. That's probably it.' She saw his eyes dip towards the ground, looking a little… disappointed? She was about to ask if everything was okay when another question crossed her mind.

'What about you?'

'What?' He glanced up, broken from his thoughts. She smiled. 'Come on, what about you? You've been listening to me talk nonstop.'

'You are aware that's my job, miss Altridge?' he said, allowing a quick smile to flash across his features like lightning. Dear God, he's capable of such humane actions. She smiled back. 'What's it like outside?' she asked suddenly, dropping her hands in her lap.

Dr. Crane looked a little bored by the question. 'I'm not the person to ask,' he amended. 'I'm usually found in here.'

'Well, where do you go, then?' Lily asked, raising her eyebrows. 'I mean – sometimes you're not here.'

Crane pursed his lips, his cold eyes giving her a look that Lily correctly perceived as 'drop this fucking conversation right now'. Then it seemed to dissipate and Lily wondered if she'd even seen it at all.

'It's just,' Lily said haltingly, 'I miss things. Dumb things, I guess. Like… train trips, or supermarkets.'

'You want me to tell you about trains and Costco?' Crane asked, and although it was sarcastic, it wasn't unkind.

'I want you to tell me about the last book you read,' Lily said simply. 'Or the last car crash you saw. Or, if you'd be so kind, what my stepfather's up to nowadays.'

Crane stared at her for a moment, almost intrigued. 'Jung's "Man and His Symbols". Car crash… while I can't pinpoint the exact date and time of the incident in question –' Lily smiled – 'I can tell you that the sun was shining, the car was smoking and the little girl in the backseat was crying. No one was hurt,' he added at the look on Lily's face. 'And your stepfather?'

Lily tried not to swallow too obviously, hid her curled up fists beneath her sleeves.

Crane shrugged. 'He's outside, and you're in here.'

Lily's hands unclenched. 'We should really fix that,' she said, hoping her voice sounded casual.

That had been yesterday and Lily wasn't exactly sure what to make of it. She sighed, pushing her tray away from her as another older girl with bronzed skin sat down at their table.

'Hey, Bonnie,' Jenna said amiably, rubbing the girl's back. 'Where you been for the last month?'

Bonnie's dark eyes narrowed in sarcasm. 'Remember that guard that tried to grab my boobs so I smacked him one with my food tray?'

'Oh, good to know they're all the same in every asylum,' Lily muttered.

'Yeah, good for you for being in more than one,' Bonnie said, not even batting an eye. Lily's eyebrows shot up her forehead as Bonnie continued, ignoring her. 'Apparently if they're pissed at you, it's okay if you get some time in the secure wing and a ticket to a strait jacket.'

'They really do that?' Lily asked, unsure of whether she'd be rebuffed again.

'Sometimes, if they're feeling ruthless,' Bonnie admitted.

Lily shuddered. Bonnie and Jenna noticed. 'What's up with her?' Bonnie asked, scratching her neck idly.

'She's got a glitch with strait jackets,' Jenna said defensively, shuffling in front of Lily. 'It's cool, we all have something!'

'Chill,' Bonnie said, rolling her eyes. She smiled at Lily. 'Hey, I'm Bonnie.'

'Bonnie suffers from mild schizophrenia,' Jenna added.

'Oh, nice to meet you,' Lily said sincerely, holding out her hand. Bonnie looked at it then turned her gaze to the empty other side of the table questioningly. She nodded and turned back to Lily, shaking her hand. 'Marley says that it's okay, you're not a spy.'

'Oh,' Lily said, trying not to sound too surprised. 'Thanks, Marley.'

Jenna and Bonnie looked a little smug before smothering their laughter with their hands. 'Oh come on,' Lily said, grinning a little even though she'd been duped.

'You fall for these things every time,' Jenna giggled. 'Gullible child,' she scolded playfully. Lily had learned not to really ask what these girls at Arkham had done to get in here. She found that she really didn't want to know.

'So, what did I miss?' Bonnie asked, running a hand through her long, tangled hair in desperation to destroy the knots.

'Well, Bonnie, this is Lily,' Jenna said pompously. 'She's in Arkham for a crime she didn't commit and just so happens to be getting it on with Doctor Crane.'

'We are not,' Lily squeaked, hastily looking around the lunchroom – just in case somebody heard such a thing.

'Jeez, no need to make a scene,' Jenna scoffed before shrugging sheepishly. 'Okay, I lied. It's actually me and Doctor Crane getting it on. Sorry Bonnie.'

Lily felt a sudden urge to kick Jenna in the shins and Bonnie chuckled. 'I see you're used to Jenna's humor?' she grinned before turning her gaze to Jenna and wrinkling her nose. 'You've still got it for Doctor Crane?'

'And proud of it,' Jenna sang, swinging her arm. Lily ignored the little bubble of annoyance in her stomach.

Bonnie tutted in distaste. 'He's such a creep.'

'What?' Lily and Jenna said in unison – Jenna sounded outraged, Lily confused (and perhaps… a little irritated).

'Why?' Lily continued as Jenna crossed her arms and huffed.

Bonnie put her forearms on the table, leaning as close a possible. Her dark eyes glinted at the hint of gossip. 'Don't you know what he does to the patients around here?'

'Inflicts his glorious beauty on them?' Jenna suggested. Lily gave her a warning look and Jenna hushed.

Bonnie licked her lips, flicking her eyes back and forth to check if anyone else was listening. She had easily roped both girls into the conversation and they watched her with awed eyes, the same way children gather around a wonderful storyteller.

'Well, there are a few stories here and there. About the crazies – you know, the real crazies here, like, the ones we don't even get to see – apparently they're not so crazy to begin with…' She arched her eyebrows. 'You know what I mean?'