AN: 4am is the best time for writing. This is a scientific fact.
-Judy
Ganondorf awoke later that night, startled by the lack of blankets and pussy on his side of the bed. Zelda was drooling and thrashing in her sleep. Ganondorf, in dutiful husbandly fashion, nudged her until she rolled off the bed. "Zelda, babycakes, wake the fuck up! What the literal fuck is wrong with you?"
Zelda, covered in sweat and her own piss, glared blearily up at him. "I had a motherfucking nightmare. Some fucking fog and shit invaded the fucking castle, and people could do jack shit to get rid of it. Then, it just fucking up and vanished."
"You and your fucking nightmares."
"Fuck you, my dreams are fucking predictions! From the fucking GODDESSES! They are 200% accurate! Shit's going to get real 'round here."
"That's a load of horse shit and you know it," Ganondorf suggested. Truthfully, he knew he'd never convince the ever-paranoid Zelda of that. Her dreams tended to be on the apocalyptic side most nights, and generally were to be taken very lightly. "Go back to fucking sleep, if anything does happen we'll get a war orphan to fix it."
"Fine with me. Thank goddesses for expendable war orphans!"
Zelda climbed back in bed and snuggled close to Ganondorf briefly, before shoving him onto the floor. She closed her eyes and fell into a dead sleep.
Around noon the next day, Zelda felt herself being groped by a servant.
"Go fuck yourself?" she mumbled sleepily.
The servant looked hurt and perplexed as she withdrew her hand. "Your Highness, I have... disturbing news. Your father, the King, has risen from the dead."
The previously deceased King shuffled into the royal bedchambers, past the quivvering servant.
Ganondorf and Zelda looked at the redead king in disbelief. Then they simultaneously fell into each other's arms, laughing hysterically.
Gradually the royal couple's guffaws settled, as uncomfortable silence took hold of them.
"Well," Ganondorf muttered. "This is rather awkward."
TO BE CONTINUED...!