Author's Note: If anyone could help me out? I'm still having difficulty with the format. I try to use breaks within the entries, but they won't appear when I upload to the Doc. Mngr. I've tried different ones and they didn't work either, so if anyone knows how I can get it to work or maybe which symbols will load? I'd really appreciate it. Oh, and if anyone is willing to Beta for me?
I'm an S/J fan. Can't help myself and seeing as how this is where it really takes off with them... if you don't want to see it, don't look.
Also, thanks to all that have read this and those who've reviewed! If any of y'all have any complaints or wonder why this or that, just ask and I'll try to explain. Please keep reviewing, I've found it really helps when I'm stuck and not feeling it to keep trying. And I'll shut up now... on with the story!
Nemesis
Once more unto the breach, dear friends. Friends make all the difference when facing death... or 9 days stuck on a planet with nothing but each other for company. Well, one friend. Teal'c left almost right away to spend time with his family. Not that I blame him, the Colonel was being quite... well, himself.
Really, if someone hadn't been walking down the hall right then. . . I would have said yes. And now he knows it, he also now knows why I said no. He did promise not to stop asking and I didn't say it but I hope he doesn't. It wasn't as uncomfortable as I thought it would be. Underneath it all we really are friends, although he does still confound me sometimes.
\ \ \ \ \ \ \
Small Victories
Okay, I feel really stupid right now. Dealing with Thor, or any advanced race, is mostly great but not this time. I would love to spend some more time studying all the technology they've come up with. Too bad we're too primitive! Small victory indeed.
\ \ \ \ \ \ \
The Other Side/Uranda
I don't know what it's like to know my ancestors were bought and sold as property or experienced it myself, but I haven't lived unaware of this country's history. Nor of friends and people I've fought side by side with for several years. Being a woman has sometimes, not all, but sometimes given me problems by men and other women. I still remember the slights there are no comebacks for and insults I didn't let slip. To say I'm sorry about the eventual downfall of the Urandans isn't a lie and yet I hate that people like that make it impossible for some to live without wondering when or where the next attack will come from.
I know Jack didn't want Alar to follow. He tried to get him to stay, but the damn stubborn, idiotic man. Did he really think he would let him through after warning him not to?
Daniel's been asking why I agree with the Colonel on most things and I don't think he realizes we really do have the same background? I'm a military brat who has been following orders, given them myself, and studied strategy for just these situations we encounter all the time. I still occasionally forget that he isn't military. He told me earlier that even though I sir the Colonel and General to death, he also forgets that I'm not completely on his level, although I am a scientist. Oy, speak of the devil.
\ \ \ \ \ \ \
Cassie is becoming more and more familiar with Earth customs! Janet warned me about going shopping with her, but I felt so guilty for not spending much time with her lately that I folded. I think I spent about two hundred dollars today. Don't know when I'll get around to wearing anything I bought, but at least I have more choices now. That girl can talk a homeless man out of his coat! I swear most of what I got today was for her. Oh, to see the look on her face though. She's growing up so fast and I feel just as Janet does. I want to keep her close and young. All the horrors out there, she doesn't need anymore tragedy in her life. Teal'c, I know, is teaching her to fight and as much as I wish he wouldn't I understand why. Of course Jack makes her behave much like the little girl who got excited about everything. Oh, boy. I'm babbling to myself!
\ \ \ \ \ \ \
Upgrades/PX9-757
Well, I think I'm going to be spending the next few weeks catering to Janet. She really isn't happy with me right now and just because I was under the influence hasn't changed her mind one little bit!
Eight seconds. A lifetime passed in eight seconds.
\ \ \ \ \ \ \
Crossroads/Vorash
Teal'c has withdrawn. Every time I approach he finds somewhere else to be. He won't even spar with me. I know he's hurting and I wish there were more I could do for him. Daniel and I rented a movie and spent last night with Janet and Cassie. I feel a bit guilty that we had a good time. I know life moves on, hell, I've been through it myself; yet it seems somewhat disrespectful to move on so easily when someone so close is suffering. Daniel said the only way he'll move on is to "exact revenge" for Shaun'auc's death. Time will tell how long he'll keep his distance and grieve.
\ \ \ \ \ \ \
Divide and Conquer
Why did Janet have to be there? I can deal with Teal'c, Janet.. not so easy.
Martouf and Lantesh are gone. I want to go to the ceremony, but... Why didn't we figure it out sooner. Why did all this other stuff get in the way now? Now, when before it was so easy to deal with? The part of me that is Jolinar is so painfully, gut wrenchingly aware of their death that it's hard to think.
\ \ \ \ \ \ \
Window of Opportunity/P4X-639
Two day movie marathon. It's been a long while since we've done that. I loved it! Nothing to worry about. I don't think we even left the house. Now I don't even want to look at a pizza 'til the next time we do this. I love my guys.
\ \ \ \ \ \ \
Watergate/Siberia
Whatever it is that makes us so different from the Russians, I'm extremely appreciative of it.
\ \ \ \ \ \ \
The First Ones
That man amazes me. How he can be kidnapped and still find a way to make them loyal to him is awesome.
\ \ \ \ \ \ \
Scorched Earth
Yeah. . . charming! I didn't bother mentioning stubborn, forthright, infuriating, difficult. Funny, caring, gentle. Oh boy, there has to be something to do in the lab. One day at a time Sam, one day at a time.
\ \ \ \ \ \ \
Beneath the Surface
How long is it going to take me to get use to this hair? It's not in my way anymore, but I can't think why they would have done that.
I can still feel his arms around me. Soon I'm not going to have enough boxes to compartmentalize.
\ \ \ \ \ \ \
Point of No Return
I forgot how much Daniel likes to talk when being held hostage. . . well, I should say likes to ask questions he's been contemplating awhile. I could have done without that. Sometimes he sees so much more than he should. Wouldn't be so bad if he kept it to himself! I really could have gone without knowing about that kiss. Put it in the box with the rest. Like Janet telling Daniel about our confessions. I should have known. Of course it doesn't help that he remembers us as Jonah and Thera.
\ \ \ \ \ \ \
Tangent
Neither of them have suffered any ill effects from being exposed to space and luckily they were too worn out to do much more than sleep the rest of the way home.
\ \ \ \ \ \ \
The Curse
\ \ \ \ \ \ \
The Serpent's Venom
\ \ \ \ \ \ \
Chain Reaction
Daniel keeps telling me I'm not to blame, but I can't help feeling responsible. Military through and through. I disagreed with every step of this but couldn't actually say no. No matter the consequences. Teal'c and the Colonel understand.
\ \ \ \ \ \ \
2010
\ \ \ \ \ \ \
Absolute Power
Teal'c and the Colonel have been crowding my office so much the last couple days it's a wonder I've gotten any work done. I know they don't want to bother Daniel but really, the Colonel has already broken two prototypes and Teal'c keeps looking at me with that look in his eyes! Like I'm supposed to know what to do about Daniel. I swear, they really only remember I'm a woman when they don't know what to do. Men.
Daniel finally came round but he still won't tell us anything except to say he learned the lesson Shifu was teaching him. I get the feeling he doesn't want to scare us and I'm okay with that. I just wish he didn't have to go through it. He's so quiet.
\ \ \ \ \ \ \
The Light
We shouldn't have done it, we really shouldn't have done it. I wanted to though, all these years. With the way I was feeling, I just couldn't hold back anymore. All the pent up resentment and anger. They shouldn't have followed me, but I knew they would. I don't regret saying any of it, but I do regret the way it all came out. As well that we were yelling at each other in front of Daniel and Teal'c. Clearing the air is overrated.
\ \ \ \ \ \ \
Prodigy
It's good to know I haven't developed a huge ego. Wow, she's something all right. The Colonel really liked her and I believe she'll do great when we get the program up and running. Which, hopefully, will only be another few months.
\ \ \ \ \ \ \
Entity
Janet and the guys have finally left! I really don't remember much after that machine took over, but it was way too much like having Jolinar in the forefront. I do remember trying to get out, up. I felt like I was drowning again. Janet won't let me do anything for several more days and this time I have no inclination to work. I really feel weak.
It's been two weeks and Janet still refuses to let me go home. I feel much stronger but she is so stubborn!
Finally! I am home! Teal'c is camped out on the couch but at least I can sleep in my own bed.
\ \ \ \ \ \ \
Double Jeopardy
Insatiable curiousity leads me to wonder what they've been doing the last couple years and how different (or similar) they still were to us. At the same time though, I'm not sure I do want to know. Maybe knowing would change something in us. I am relieved they won't live for an eternity in such a challenging position.
\ \ \ \ \ \ \