HEY GUYS!!!!! LOLOL I'm soooo sorry for not updating sooner! Oh my goodness… I bet my teachers are actually torturers in disguise out to ruin my life. LOL No, they are actually some of the best teachers I've ever met. But still, I'm barely scrapping to get enough time to update. So this time, I made the chapter longer. Since I'll probably not update that much, I'll try to make the chapters longer from now on! Now enough of my blabbering, on with the story!
By the way, VIIVIIVIIVIIVIIVII is now my separations since others won't work. Italics are thoughts and regular font is not in pov. Don't worry, you'll know who's pov it's in. The first section in this chapter is Cloud thinking. Thank you!
Final Fantasy VII: Breathe
By Healing Spirit
Chapter Four: Stars Against A Barren Sky
There are no stars out today.
The sky is empty, devoid of any source of light; conquered by darkness. Like this world. No matter how many times we save it, it will just go and mess itself up again. Is there such thing as an eternal peace? Where everything rights itself, and there will be no more fighting. No more bloodshed. No more deaths…
Aerith…
It's been two years since you died.
Since you took the initiative to go yourself…
Since I didn't know until too late…
Since…
I let you die…
I didn't save you… because I was too weak. Because I was not strong enough… because I… I don't deserve you…
Riding through this barren desert so sere and bare… like my heart that has forgotten how to see… how to listen… how to… breathe…
For miles, the only familiar sound I can hear is the roaring of my own motorcycle as it's traveling at high speed, distorting the surrounding environment, locking me in my thoughts. The fiery lantern in the sky had long settled below the distant horizon, allowing harsh, icy winds to rip through the landscape, chilling me to my very bones.
Out of nowhere, I find myself craving a beer. I find myself craving its poison running through my veins, releasing me from this world; from this pain… from this reality…
Aerith… can you see who I have become? Can you see the shame and guilt that rips me apart, piece by painful piece… and the ache that devours my heart? Can you hear the silent cries I scream in agony, for you to come back… for you to be by my side… for you to stop this suffering that only you can ease...
Every night, I see you die once more… I see your beautiful face… your salty tears…
…your smile…
I'm here. Your church, where we met that faithful night… where I gazed upon these flowers for the first time. These flowers… they haven't died… Aerith. They are still alive, they are still thriving… stronger than ever. I promise. I will never let them die.
A ride through an empty terrain… this place… where I laid you to rest… where we exchanged our final goodbyes… where I lost you…
No…
Where I lost myself.
The water… still so beautiful… stilling the shine of your smile… as your face submerged below the waves…
I close my eyes.
Your presence… I feel you around me… are you here?
…
Don't leave me…
A little boy's cry for the affection that he was so long denied.
Don't leave me again… I…
I shook my head, feeling my hands trembling beneath my leather gloves. There must be something I can do. I'm so tired of always being late… always useless… always not strong enough… I'm so tired of what if's… of always wanting what is not there…
But I don't want to believe… I don't want to face it… I don't want to face reality…
I just want…
To be alone.
I will avenge you, Aerith…
For you…
I would give up glory, power, being…
…anything…
Do you understand? Can you hear me? Can you hear my voice echoing off these hallow walls?
Don't you understand?
I would do…
…anything…
For you to love me once more…
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"Cloud…"
Aqua orbs flutter open to the sound of a deep male voice, smooth as velvet. A figure in red stood at a distance…
Vincent stationed himself close to the Lifestream in silent glory, watching as the warrior lifted himself out of the water he was lying in, as slowly and heavily as if the water washing off his clothes carried the weight of the world. As the familiar face turned to meet his, he was shocked to find the condition he was in.
Eyes dulled, hair disheveled from perhaps hours of riding on his motorcycle, muscled body seemingly heavy with fatigue, a once young face aged beyond his years…
"Sashiburi, Cloud. It's been too long."
A silent ghost came in front of him, nodding in acknowledgment. So I see. He is still mourning over Aerith…
"How are Tifa and the children?"
Even at the mention of Tifa, his face remained emotionless. Vincent lowered his head and closed his eyes, slowly contemplating the state Cloud was in, the pieces clicking into place. "I see."
Waving a hand over to a secluded clearing among the glowing, chaste-white forest, his silent friend followed as Vincent led them over a narrow path. Leaning against the trunk of one of the trees, he observed as Cloud reached out a hand to lead the rest of his body down to the ground, plopping one of his hands on a knee. After a few moments of dead silence… he spoke up. "Vincent. What brings you here?"
"… How are you, Cloud?"
He didn't answer, but in the blink of an eye, was back on his feet, the cloth covering his arm and leg fluttering back into place. Wordlessly, he turned his back to his clocked friend. "Gomen nasai, Vincent. I want to be alone."
He watched with his crimson eyes through the stray bangs of his silky maroon hair as the blond warrior walked away…
Until…
"What if I said … I could bring her back?"
His feet stop cold.
With a sigh, Vincent pushes himself off the tree and floats over to where Cloud is frozen still; the soft thump of a reunited contact of his feet on the ground. A hand reaches out to rest on his padded shoulder.
"We know you're hurting Cloud. But you cannot do this. You cannot push away your friends."
A flash of blue eyes. A head turned to the side. A voice laden with hope.
"What do I have to do?"
Vincent tilts his head slightly upward in inquiry.
Cloud turns his head back in front of him, shielding the fraught glimmer in his eyes. "How do I bring her back?"
The glow of crimson fades. A hand is lifted off the padded shoulder. A back is turned to face a back.
"There is a cost."
He answers without hesitation.
"I will do anything."
Just by the tone of voice, an extreme desperation laced those few words.
All hope mustered into one simple phrase.
A tentative second creeps by. A breath of air escapes. Eyes close in defeat.
"If you truly will… then meet me back here in five days. But heed my words… you have to be willing to comply with the cost… no matter what the stakes…"
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"See you later, Tifa!"
"Have a good night!"
It was closing time. After saying goodnight to the last remaining customers, Tifa rushed to the stove when a billowing cloud of smoke started to rise into the air from the pot. While she busied herself with dinner, Denzel and Marlene were sitting outside the bar, gazing up at the clear night sky.
"Denzel?"
"Hm?"
"Are stars actually fireflies?"
Denzel looked over at Marlene, who was smiling amusingly at her revelation. However, his face was solemn and serious; listening to the clattering of dishes in the kitchen. "If they are, then how come they are sometimes not there?"
"Well…" Her cute face scrunched up in contemplation. "I think that maybe… they come out when someone is in need of hope. Since… I don't know how to say it!"
Denzel smiled lightly at her, taking her hand in his as they both studied the stars more closely. "So that someone can have guidance in whatever they are suffering through. They are suffering so much, that hope seems far away. But all they have to do is look up at the sky, and they see millions of fireflies lighting their way, right?"
"Um… right!" Marlene giggled, turning to look up at her big brother. Though they were both not blood related, they were closer then any brother and sister can be. She looked up to him for his wisdom and his guidance. When neither of them can find a solution, by themselves, they look to each other to think of something together. And the one they both looked up to, was Tifa and… Cloud. Except he's never home, or very rarely for more than a night. It wasn't like before, when he actually thought of this place as his home, with Marlene, Denzel and… Tifa… as his family.
"Denzel…" The one being addressed looked over. With a smile, the little girl continued.
"I think Tifa and Cloud need the fireflies now."
Denzel's sapphire eyes glistened with an unreadable emotion at Marlene's words. But before he could respond, a faint roaring sounded from the distance. As he stood, Marlene followed his gaze curiously, as the familiar sound grew louder and louder. At this point, the impending figure came into view.
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"Marlene! Denzel! Dinner!"
Tifa called out to the two kids situated on the stoop while dividing the pot of noodles into three bowls. When she turned to get the chicken that was roasting in the oven, three pairs of footsteps walked into the room, one pair louder than the other two. He stood still, watching her setting out dinner without even once looking up to discover him. Marlene was the first to speak.
"Tifa!"
"Marlene, Denzel, go wash your hands while…" Her voice died out. Her eyes traveled up from black shoes to baggy pants, a wool shirt with a shoulder guard attached to a long black cloth that covered his left arm, and finally, to startling blue eyes boring deep into her own hazel ones.
"Cloud?"
He nodded his head to her, face still emotionless and cold. Marlene and Denzel left his side to go wash their hands as Tifa had instructed, leaving the two adults alone in the room. It was a while until Tifa collected herself.
"Uh… I'll get another bowl."
He quietly set down his mammoth sword against the wall, sat down in a chair and waited patiently as Tifa hurried back and forth, bringing more dishes from the stove. All the while, Tifa avoided his gaze nervously, feeling her heart skip a beat whenever he caught her looking at him.
Dinner was silent. All four of them could feel the tension hanging in the room like a thick blanket. Denzel broke the silence eagerly with a starting conversation. "Marlene made an interesting discovery today."
Tifa turned away from watching Cloud silently eat his noodles and settled her gaze on Marlene. "Oh, really? What was it, Marlene?"
Marlene grinned, showing pearly white teeth. "I discovered that stars are actually fireflies that light up to give people hope!"
"Really? Wow, I never knew that!" Tifa exclaimed, standing up to reach for the knife. As she listened to Marlene's explanation, she cut the whole chicken, setting down a large piece for everyone. When she gave Cloud his piece, she was disappointed that he didn't even look up but continued to eat his dinner with his head slightly bowed.
Look at me…
However, as Marlene finished off her explanation (with a few stumbles and mispronunciations), the raven-haired beauty turned to her with a sweet smile, complimenting her "great scientific discovery". All the while, unbeknownst to her, her childhood friend watched her.
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"Cloud, what is this?"
Tifa looked up from the dishes at Marlene's question. With a gasp, she rushed to the threesome still at the table. Wordlessly, she uncovered his arm from the cloth and gazed upon the gruesome, open gash. Her ruby gaze shifted to his impassive face. "Where did you get this?"
He remained silent, moving away from her intense stare. "It's nothing."
"I will decide if it is nothing, Cloud. Come here."
Taking his other arm gently but forcefully, she stirred him up across the room and up the stairs while calling back to Denzel to finish clearing the table. "Sit," she directed Cloud toward his bed across from hers, while proceeding to fetch the first-aid kit from the bathroom cabinet.
For the next ten minutes, no sound penetrated the deafening silence as Tifa went about with her work to disinfect the wound, apply medicine to it, and then wrap it up in a sterile cloth. All the while, she avoided the gaze of the man sitting upon the bed, and his burning presence emitting heat that set her temperature aflame.
"There, does it feel better?"
He looked down at his newly bandaged arm. When she didn't receive an answer, she snuck a pained-smile and gently slapped his other arm. "Now get some rest, I'm sure you're very tired."
As her heavy feet carried her to the door, her heart fell with every step. Right before she stepped out the doorway, a soft voice cut through the darkness, so soft she would have missed it if she wasn't listening.
"Thank you."
"Uh…" Why was she blushing so easily? Remember Tifa, he doesn't care about you… A sad smile set upon her lips. "You… You're welcome… Cloud."
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That night, he didn't leave. Nor did he leave the next night.
My heart is pounding in my chest. How can this be? Is he… is he really…?
Could he have changed? What happened that night? Why is he staying?
Oh, I dare not believe it… Right, Tifa. That's why you are now smiling like a fool, right?
Her head rose to the moon out the window, as the sounds of Denzel and Marlene playing drifted up to her room. But this time, she knew Cloud was there, watching them with his stoic face. However, she knew he would smile in time, since he had finally taken the chance to accept them as his real family. And maybe… one day acknowledge her as a friend… and maybe… one day know how much she loved him. An uncontrollable smile lifted the edges of her cherry lips as the glimmer of unshed tears slipped off the edges of her eyes.
The stars look so beautiful tonight.
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What do you think guys? I'm sorry, I really not a good writer. The only real thing that keeps me going is of course, you guys . and my undying love for CloudXTifa!! So, please read and review, and don't forget, constructive criticism is ALWAYS welcome! And just so you know, THIS STORY'S NOT FINISHED YET! LOL Nope! FAAARR from it! So stay tuned for chapter five: To Fly with Broken Wings!!!!
Love, Healing Spirit