Nintendo High
Chapter 4: Cross-dressing and Conspiracy
(Originally posted on deviantART on July 13, 2012.)

It seemed to the students and staff of Nintendo High that the first week of the new year had flown by. Before anyone knew it, it was already Friday. Talk of Homecoming Week was already beginning to circulate, with no small help from the posters that were being hung in the hallways.

"Homecoming Week already, huh?" Mario asked as he and Peach passed by one such poster. "Wow, it's like the first week just flew by."

Peach noticed the poster as well, and began to look at Mario with a devious look in her eye. "Mario..." she murmured. "You remember what I told you freshman year about homecoming week, right?"

"Not really," Mario sighed. "It's been three years since then, after all."

"Remember the pep rally at the end of homecoming week?" she asked with a slight giggle.

Mario groaned. "How could I forget? The friggin' cross-dressing...pa...geant..." It was then when Mario realized Peach's intentions. "No!" he shouted, causing some other students in the hall to stare at them. "No way! You are not signing me up for that thing!"

"Too late!" Peach said cheerfully. "I already turned in the application for you."

"Wh-what?!" Mario couldn't believe it. "How'd you even get the necessary information?! Surely you'd need, like, my student ID or something!"

"No, they didn't ask for that," Peach replied. "They didn't ask for much, really. Just your name and homeroom, as well as the title of your musical accompaniment for the talent part of the show. That's all. Oh, and I picked out the perfect song for you. Laters!" And with that, Peach left for her next class, leaving Mario to reel from what he had just been thrust into.

"I...I can't believe this..."

Bowser crept along the corner entering the hallway, something that most people would find hard for a Koopa that size to do. He was watching someone he found to be very suspicious; Giegue-ashi-Gyara, one of the most distanced and mysterious students of Nintendo High. "That guy..." Bowser muttered to himself. "There's something about him that I just don't like. He's hiding something big under the dressy outfit and the polite mannerisms...I just need the chance to find out..."

"So the Conspiracy Koopa's at it again, huh"

"AAAH!" Bowser jumped, then noticed the person who had startled him. "Ivo!" he shouted. "How long have you been standing there?!"

"Not for long," Ivo replied. "Now, what were you saying about Giegue?"

"Giegue? Who's Giegue?"

Ivo pointed at the person Bowser had been watching. "That's Giegue," he told the Koopa.

Bowser nodded. "So that's his name..."

"Honestly, he's been here since freshman year and you've never even found out his name?!" Ivo chuckled.

"We've never had classes together," Bowser said with a shrug, "and I don't exactly hang out with anyone who knows him closely."

"He's not exactly the social type," Ivo admitted. "Hell, I only know him because he's in the science club that I'm president of, and a club president should know its members." He sighed. "So, what's gotten you interested in Giegue?"

"I'unno," Bowser replied. "Something just doesn't smell right about that guy."

"Considering you only shower every few weeks, I'm surprised you can smell at all," Ivo said jokingly.

"Sh-shut up!" Bowser retorted. "I shower more often than that!" He turned his attention back down the hallway where Giegue had been, though he had now moved on. "I'm just saying that he's gotta be up to something. What if...what if he's an alien bent on conquering or destroying the planet?!"

Ivo sighed, knowing that something like this would come up eventually. "Of course he's an alien," he told Bowser. "He's obviously not a being that developed on this planet. He's even listed as such in his school bio!"

"And how would I know about his school bio?!" Bowser snapped. "Either way, that confirms one part of my theory..."

"You can-not be serious!" Ivo half-shouted. "There are plenty of students here that are of an extraterrestrial nature. And I'm completely certain that none of them intend on our world's domination!"

"None of 'em have that weird..." Bowser struggled to find the right word. "...presence that Giegue does. He's different, I can tell."

"You're just not going to let this go, are you..." Ivo sighed in defeat. "Fine. If I were to help prove that Giegue is not plotting anything, would you admit you were wrong?"

"Sure, I guess," Bowser replied. "I'll even do something for ya. Name it."

"Um...help me dispose of the combustible waste from my experiments."

"All right, then. And if I'm right, not only do you have to help me stop him, but you gotta keep my locker clean until graduation. Deal?"

"Deal." The two sealed their deal with a handshake. "Let's just hope this doesn't end up like the time you tried to prove that everyone born with blonde hair came from the moon..."

The first thing Mario did upon arriving home from school was to trudge up to his room and collapse onto his bed in a mild depression. "How could Peach do this to me?" he moaned into his pillow. "I love that girl, but she can do the craziest things..."

"Maaaario!" Luigi's voice called from downstairs. "Your issue of Food Network Magazine came in!" When Mario didn't respond, Luigi made his way to find his brother. "Mario?" he called. He finally found Mario face-down on his bed. "What's wrong, Mario?" he asked.

"Girls are crazy..." Mario moaned, his voice slightly muffled by his pillow.

Luigi was immediately concerned. "You're not having problems with Peach, are you?" he asked. He remembered how hard his brother had taken being dumped by his girlfriend from 6th grade, Pauline.

"No, not exactly..." Mario turned over and made an embarrassed grimace. "You know that cross-dressing pageant that happens during the homecoming week pep rally?"

Luigi realized what was going on. "Oh, she didn't," he chuckled.

Mario buried his face back into his pillow. "She did."

"Well, look on the bright side," Luigi said, sitting down on his brother's bed. "It's not like everyone will judge you for it. Everyone knows it's just for fun." This only elicited another groan from Mario. "...Hey, if it makes you feel any better, I'll sign up too. We can make fools of ourselves together."

Mario looked up. "Really?"

"Sure!" Luigi said with a grin. "After all, what are brothers for?"

Early the next day, Saturday, Bowser had arrived at the Robotnik residence. There weren't any cars in the driveway, but Bowser knew that Ivo never awoke before 9 on weekends. He lightly rapped on the front door. There was no response, so he knocked a little harder. It was at this second knocking that Ivo opened the door, half-asleep and still in his pajamas. "What're you doin' here?" he muttered drowsily. "It's not even 8..."

"If we're gonna find out what Giegue's up to, we need to start ASAP!" Bowser insisted.

"You serious?" Ivo groaned. He rubbed his eyes before yielding entry to his house. "Fine, come on in," he sighed. "Let me get better woken up and I'll see what I can do." Bowser entered the house and followed Ivo to another room, where a dual-monitor computer was set up, as well as a large television and several videogame consoles. "You're lucky my parents already left for work," Ivo told him. He sat down at the computer desk and took a sip of an open energy drink that was sitting there, presumably from the previous night. "I don't think they'd appreciate what I'm about to do."

"And that would be?" Bowser asked.

"Being a club president grants me access to certain information banks that most students never gain access to," Ivo replied. "However, that can only get me so far." He booted up the internet and made his way to the school's homepage, clicking on the link for faculty login. He stretched out his fingers in preparation. "Let's hope my hacking abilities haven't dulled over the summer."

"Wait, hacking?"

"Yep." Ivo typed in the username of Giegue's homeroom teacher, opened up a separate program and typed in a sequence that would hopefully generate the correct password. "I figured we could find out his address and start from there. This is the best way I know to find it while keeping people from getting suspicious, especially Giegue."

"Isn't that illegal?"

"So is stalking, which is a tactic you proposed for this little mission, so you have no room to talk." A password was soon generated for the username, which Ivo entered into the login. It worked perfectly. "Aaaand I'm in." He looked through the list of students the teacher had for homeroom and found Giegue's complete school bio, which he had admittedly seen before in a partially censored state. He found Giegue's address and wrote it down on a nearby notepad. "All set. Now let me get dressed and we can head out."

"Well, hurry up, okay?" Bowser growled. "We can't afford to waste any time. The fate of the entire world is at stake!"

Peach, Daisy and Yoshi had come over to the Segali household so the friends could spend the day together. The first item on the day's unofficial list was a two-on-two basketball match between the teams of Mario and Yoshi vs. Luigi and Daisy, with Peach keeping score. Luigi and Daisy's team, Team Yellow, were currently in the lead with two points to Mario and Yoshi's one. "I'm open, Daisy!" Luigi shouted, waving his arms for Daisy to pass to him.

"Okay, Luigi, heads up!" She passed the ball to Luigi, who then shot it at the single basketball goalpost the brothers had and scored.

"That's 3-1 to Yellow!" Peach exclaimed.

"You better watch out, you two!" Mario teased the winning pair. "We're not gonna let you win so easy!" Mario got hold of the ball after Luigi's dunk and dribbled it, looking for an opening. "Yoshi!" he shouted, passing it towards the dinosaur.

"I got it!" Yoshi caught the ball...only, he didn't use his hands to catch it. He had instead extended his long, sticky tongue and caught the ball in his mouth.

"Okay, time out, guys," Mario sighed. "Yoshi, how many times do I have to tell you to keep my balls out of your mouth?"

Yoshi spit out the basketball with a sheepish look on his face. "Sorry, dude," he said.

"Well, I think it's safe to say the game is over," Daisy muttered, staring at the saliva-covered ball. "I'm certainly not touching that ball now."

"In that case," Peach said, standing up and picking up her purse, "now's as good a time as any to go shopping!" She gave Mario a big hug. "What say you, Mario?"

Mario knew exactly what she meant by "shopping"; shopping for him. "Oh my god, why."

"What's wrong with shopping?" Daisy asked, confused.

"It's a long story," Luigi told her. "The short version is that Peach signed Mario up for the cross-dressing pageant."

"Ohhhhh."

"Mind if I tag along?" Yoshi asked them. "I need to pick up some watermelons for Mom's work party this week."

"Wait, if it's your mom's work party, then why are you...?"

"I ate the ones that she already had."

"Of course you can come with!" Peach exclaimed. "We were all planning to spend the day together as a group anyway, right? I didn't clean out the back seat of my car just for fun, after all." She giggled after saying this.

"Actually, Peach," Luigi said with a slightly nervous laugh. "I've decided to sign up for the pageant too, so I guess I'd need help finding a good outfit as well."

"Seriously?" Daisy chuckled.

Luigi made an odd face at her. "Is it wrong for a guy to support his bro nowadays?"

"Well, should we go, then?" Peach asked expectantly.

Mario sighed. "Might as well get it over with..."

"All right, then, let's go!"

Bowser and Ivo were beginning their surveillance of Giegue, starting at his house. Bowser hid behind a bush on the other side of the street, while Ivo hid behind the next door neighbor's face. "Iron Koopa, this is the Eggman," Ivo spoke into his phone as if it were a walkie-talkie. "See anything on your end?"

"Negatory, Eggman," Bowser replied through his phone, watching the front door of Giegue's house through a pair of binoculars. "Bogey's not headin' out of his hidey-hole."

"What are you even saying?" Ivo looked over at Giegue's house and noticed the door handle turn. "Hold on, the door's opening. He's probably heading out now." Just as Ivo had suspected, the door soon opened and Giegue stepped out. He locked the door behind him and made his way down the street. "He's moving out! Repeat, Giegue's moving out!"

"I can see that!" Bowser half-shouted into his phone. "I'm not blind!"

"Shhh! Don't give away your position, you moron!" Ivo retorted. "Do you want someone to call the cops on us?! Now let's go, but be careful and casual." Bowser and Ivo moved out of their hiding spots and followed Giegue, being careful to not stand out. They followed him to the bus stop and boarded the same bus as he did, and departed along with him at the stop in front of the nearby Junes department store.

There were at least three Junes stores in Miyamotopolis, and this particular store happened to be the same store that Mario and his friends had gone to. "Now then," Peach explained to Mario, "you'll definitely look best in red. You wear it so often that is seems to compliment you best out of all colors." She held up various articles of clothing to quickly check their relative size to his body.

"Yeah, I guess..." Mario sighed.

"Mario...you're not really upset about all this, are you?" Peach asked. "If you are, you can just go to the office on Monday and tell them you want to quit. I won't feel bad if you do, I promise."

"No, no, it's okay, really!" Mario insisted. "I don't want to cause any unnecessary hassle for the people in charge of that. Plus, I know you've been waiting for this for three years. I wouldn't want to take that away from you." He smiled at her warmly.

Peach giggled. "Oh, goodie!" She then turned her attention back to the clothing. "Hmm...maybe we should get you a pair of ladies' panties to make it feel more natural?"

"Oh, HELL no!" Mario shouted. "I'll wear a dress, but you are NOT taking my right to man-derwear!"

"Just kidding!"

Daisy was looking at the clothes as well, but she had much less enthusiasm than Peach did. She looked at the massive selection with boredom and indecision. "Eh...I'd like to help out, but you guys know I'm not really a clothes type of girl," she admitted. She glanced over at Luigi, who was checking out a green ladies' shirt. "Sorry, Luigi."

"Oh, it's fine," Luigi told her. "Peach has enough fashion sense to cover the both of us, anyway."

Ivo continued to watch Giegue from behind a rack of tree-shaped air fresheners as he perused the automotive supplies. "Iron Koopa, this is the Eggman," he spoke through his phone. "Target is in the automotive aisle. He's browsing through replacement windshield wiper blades. ...He just picked out two of unequal length."

"What would he need wipers for?" Bowser asked.

"Maybe his parents need some new ones for their car and he decided to be nice and get some for him," Ivo replied. "Completely normal, and certainly not suspect for world domination." Just then, Ivo heard something behind him. "Crap, someone's coming!" He put his phone away and turned away from Giegue, pretending to look at oil filters.

Waluigi, a student at Nintendo High and part-time worker for that Junes store, approached Ivo. "Hey, Robotnik," he greeted him with a slight apathetic tone. "Can I help you?"

"Ah, no thanks, Medici," Ivo replied, somewhat nervous. "I'm just, uh, looking at the oil filters for an experiment I have planned, though I haven't figured out which type I'll need yet."

"Well, take your time, I guess," Waluigi sighed. "I'm needed in electronics anyway." He sauntered off, leaving Ivo to continue his surveillance...

...or he would, but it seemed Giegue had disappeared. "What the...?" Ivo looked around for any trace of Giegue, but found nothing.

"Eggman, this is Iron Koopa!" Bowser said through the phone. "I've spotted the bogey in grocery!"

"What?!" Ivo was shocked at this. "That can't be—he was just over here on the opposite side of the store!"

"Well he's here in the dairy aisle now." Bowser was watching Giegue from behind a case of milk products. "He's got those wipers that you mentioned, and now it looks like he's getting sour cream."

"That's an odd combination," Ivo responded. "Wonder why he's getting wipers and sour cream?"

"How the heck should I know that?!" Bowser shouted. Unfortunately, this shout was what caused Giegue to turn and notice the Koopa. Bowser stood there for a moment like a deer caught in the headlights...then ran off, screaming half in terror. "Iron Koopa to Eggman!" Bowser frantically shouted into his phone. "I've been spotted! Bogey's on my tail! Fall back, I repeat, fall back!"

"What did you do?!" Ivo then felt someone tap his shoulder. He turned to see that it was Giegue staring at him angrily. Ivo ran off, shouting a few nasty swear words. Ivo and Bowser met near the checkouts (nearly running into each other in the process) and bolted for the door, though were soon knocked back by an invisible wall.

"Owww..." Bowser muttered. "What the hell was that..." He then looked up to see Giegue, who caused the barrier to dissipate. "Crap...!"

"So, would you two care to explain why you've been following me all day?" Giegue asked them.

"Y-you knew?"

"You're not exactly the most stealthy people in the world."

"Hehe, well, I can explain," Ivo said. "My friend Bowser here, he has an odd tendency to come up with crazy theories that have little to no basis in actual logic. He thought you were sent to Earth to conquer or destroy it. Think you could talk some sense into him? Please?"

Giegue sighed in relief. "If that's all it was, you could've just asked me," he told them. "It's true that I was sent to this planet for a particular mission, but my purpose here is to study the people of this planet, not to rule them. Scholars from my planet are interested in how so many different intelligent species can coexist on one planet in relative peace. My life is dedicated to this subject of study."

"See, Bowser?" Ivo jeered. "He's not an invader, he's an archaeologist!"

"But...what about the weird shopping list?" Bowser asked.

"I merely needed both items and felt it would be more efficient to get them at the same time."

"Well, then explain how you got all the way across opposite sides of the store in two seconds!"

"I possess a wide range of PSI abilities as a hallmark of my species," Giegue explained, demonstrating by recreating a smaller version of the barrier that Bowser and Ivo had run head first into. "This includes teleportation. I don't really use it until I feel it's necessary, to conserve my energy."

"Happy now, Bowser?" Ivo asked sarcastically. "Everything has a simple and benign explaination."

"I guess," Bowser grumbled. He then turned to Giegue. "I still think you're up to something."

"Perfectly understandable," Giegue admitted. "It's only natural to be suspicious of the unknown, especially in this day and age."

Ivo chuckled. "Well, I guess we'll be going now," he said, gently trying to push Bowser out the door. He whispered to the Koopa, "You can make good on your promise tomorrow."

As the two left, Giegue made his way to a more private area of the store. He placed a small device onto the handle-like growth under his ear.

This is Giegue-ashi-Gyara. I fear I may have been discovered. I have taken measures to avert suspicion for now, but we may need to speed up the mission. I shall report in person soon.

AN: To the person who reviewed the last chapter asking about Pliskin who either wasn't logged in or doesn't have an account and thus I can't respond directly, yes, Pliskin is indeed Snake. Also, to everyone reading this chapter, I know Giegue's name is just Giegue (or Giygas, if you only go by EarthBound), but I added extras to his name as kind of a way to build a little bit of culture around whatever species he is. I haven't figured out all the details yet, though.