Date: September 29, 2008

Title: Restoring Hope

Author: Soccer-Bitch

Chapter: 4 of?

Rating: M (for language and adult situations)

Pairings: Jessica Clark/Cameron Mitchell, Ellie Harrison/Evan Lorne,

Jessica Clark/ John Sheppard

Warnings: Some Strong Language and sexual situations

Feedback: All opinions are welcome!

Disclaimer: I own Jessica Clark, ElaineDex owns Ellie. Everything else I don't own.

Summary: After a horrible luck in life and love on Earth, will Dr. Jessica Clark pack up her life and start over in the Pegasus galaxy on Atlantis? SheppardOC, LorneOC

Thanks to: ElaineDex for use of her character Ellie and also to Puppypower01 for help with bouncing ideas and generally helping. THANKS A BUNCH GUYS!!

Jessica walked down the corridors; counting the doors until she came to the one Teyla had said was Sheppard's. Her hands shook visibly as she brushed her hand across the ancient doorbell. Seconds ticked by, feeling like hours. When, finally he finally opened the door. His face was closed and unwelcoming. Breathing deep, she hoped that he would give her the chance to explain.

"I wanted to tell you myself, but Teyla got in first, I'm sorry." Her words came out in a rush of breath. He kept looking at her. "I just wanted to explain, John, I'm sorry for not telling you sooner." Jessica looked at him earnestly. His eyes melted a little, giving her hope.

"Can we please talk?" Jessica asked earnestly as someone walked by. "Privately,"

"Come in," Sheppard told her stepping aside to allow her access into his room.

"Thank you," Jessica said sincerely trying to find the right words to tell him what she was thinking.

"It still doesn't change the fact that you didn't tell me and I put you in a dangerous situation with the baby," John watched as she ducked her head. "What about the father?"

Jessica gulped, praying for forgiveness, "He's not an issue anymore,"

John nodded quietly thinking. "What happened?"

"The question should be what didn't," Jessica said. "We'd been having problems since we got back from a mini vacation,"

"And then?" he cleared his throat. "I need to know this, Jess, so that I can back away if necessary,"

"And then I found out I was pregnant and I was offered a great job," Jessica said sitting in a chair. "In a way, I guess I took the coward's way out, but it doesn't matter, we wouldn't have lasted much longer anyways,"

"Why wouldn't you have lasted?" Sheppard was unsure whether he really wanted to know

"I've never been good at relationships," Jessica said biting her lip, "When things went down hill they went down fast. He thought we would be fine as long as the sex was as great as when first had it,"

"And sex isn't what makes a relationship," he finished. "What does he think about the baby?"

Jessica couldn't look at his eyes, "He wanted to be part of the baby's life, but his life is on Earth and mine isn't,"

Sheppard swallowed. This was a little more than what he expected. But everyone has a story. "So what's going to happen now?"

"I ended the relationship," Jessica told him. "But I will send him updates, but I doubt he'll ever see the baby in person,"

"Do you think that's really fair?"

"What would you have me do?" Jessica asked. "Stay in a dead end relationship on Earth where I wouldn't be a stay at home mom?"

"Not what I meant, Jess," he said wryly. "Don't you think that he should have some time with his kid when it's born?"

"He's not exactly the fatherly type," she said bluntly.

He raised an eyebrow. "Have you talked to him about this?"

"We had a pregnancy scared before and he said some things I didn't agree with," Jessica told him. "In the end it's my choice,"

John sighed. "Did he say that he didn't want to see the baby?"

"So what are you going to do now?" He leaned back on the bed and watched her, not quite agreeing with what she had decided with her previous partner but curious to see what would happen.

"I'm going to take my life and live it my way," Jessica said. "I don't need anyone telling me what I should do. Cam will be getting on with his life on Earth and my and bubba will live here,"

"Wait, Cam? As in Lt Colonel Cameron Mitchell?" John sat up, looking perplexed.

"Does it matter?" Jessica asked

John looked away for a moment. "We got on pretty well when SG-1 visited a while ago and keep in contact every now and then."

"I see," Jessica said before her ear buzzed. "Go ahead Ellie...Okay; I'll meet you there,"

Jessica stood up and looked at Sheppard. "I guess you have some things to think on,"

He nodded absently, barely noticing her leaving. This was going to be a bit of a problem. He had always gone by the rule that you never date or sleep with a friend's ex. But he really, really liked Jess.

An hour later, Jessica found herself sitting across from Ellie in the mess having dinner. It was the first time the two friends had seen each other since two days before Jessica's departure to Earth.

"So no baby," Jessica repeated what Ellie had just told her.

"No baby," Ellie confirmed. "He turned down the position so that we could work things out,"

"That's a pretty big thing," Jessica said thoughtfully.

"I know, but the thing is, we've both been a lot happier," Ellie admitted.

Jessica took a deep breath and again.

"What's wrong?" Ellie asked knowing Jess was trying to prepare herself and Ellie for the next piece of news.

"Emerson is in command of the Odyssey and he's looking forward to seeing the happy Ellie, since she's on Atlantis,"

"Are you serious?" Ellie asked in shock.

"It was kind of weird on the ship," Jessica said looking around to make sure no one was listening to their conversation. "He always seemed to pop up,"

A few days later, Jessica was working in her office space translating some carvings on cave walls that one of the teams found off world when Teyla walked in.

Jessica smiled at the woman, "Teyla, hey,"

"Jessica, how are you?" Teyla asked returning Jess' smile.

"I'm ok," Jessica said taking the glasses off her face. "Been getting really tired lately, but not sure if that's due to my late nights or the pregnancy,"

"I am sure that Elizabeth would understand if you were to reduce some of your hours," Teyla said sitting next to her.

"I am sure she would, but the thing is I don't want to, not yet anyways," Jessica said. "I want to be fatter when I do ask for reduced hours,"

"I see," Teyla said.

"My dad once told me that my mother had gotten really tired early on in her pregnancy with me," Jessica said.

"You missed your appointment with Carson," Teyla said, revealing the true reason for her visit.

"I know, I'm just not ready to go to another doctor," Jessica said.

"Perhaps you should meet Doctor Beckett first," Teyla suggested.

"It's just hard you know?" Jessica told her. "I mean, Janet was my doctor for so long and then she was killed off world, and then Lam and I were starting to understand one another and then I move here,"

"Dr. Beckett is a kind man," Teyla told her.

Jess blushed and looked down at her feet. "I'm pregnant in another galaxy, far away from earth. What do people think of me?"

"Don't let those thoughts of those who don't know you bother you," Teyla told her

"But I can't help it. I hear them every time I walk into a room. After all, what type of woman would voluntarily go to another galaxy, pregnant? What am I trying to do here?" She gave a watery smile. "It wasn't easy leaving earth,"

"It is never easy to leave home, but you and your work is needed here," Teyla informed her.

Jess looked at her for a moment. "Cameron begged me not to come here, begged me for a chance to get to know his child and I said no."

"Maybe because you knew that you could possibly help save many lives. So you sacrificed your happiness for the lives you may save one day in this galaxy, "Teyla said giving her hope.

She gave her a smile and saved her work. "I had better get to my appointment then," she replied, turning off her tablet

"Would you like for me to accompany you?" Teyla asked her

Jessica looked at her gratefully. "I would love that, knowing me, my courage would fail me at the sight of the infirmary doors. You can catch me if I run,"

When Jessica and Teyla made it to the infirmary, Dr. Beckett looked up from cleaning Colonel Sheppard's head wound from his sparing match with Ronon.

"Dr. Beckett," Jessica said with a sigh. "I believe I missed my appointment,"

"That you did, luv," Carson said looking up to see Teyla with the new pregnant doctor. "Hullo, Teyla,"

"Carson," Teyla said greeting the doctor.

"Dr. Clark," Carson said before Jessica interrupted him.

"It's Jessica, Dr. Beckett," she told him with a shy smile before seeing Sheppard on one of the tables.

"Alright, Jessica, why don't you get up on the bed and I will have Janie bring out the ultrasound machine," Carson told her with a genuine smile.

"Okay, pants unbuttoned, right?" Jessica asked as she hopped up onto the bed next to the one Sheppard was laying down on.

"Already know the routine," Carson smiled kindly.

"Yeah," Jessica said remembering the only appointment Cam had been with her at.

Once Carson had finished with Sheppard he left to wash his hands and Teyla had left after making sure that Jessica would be fine here with Dr. Beckett.

"Carson's a great doc, he'll take good care of you," Sheppard said sitting up so that he could see her when he talked to her.

"So everyone keeps saying," Jessica mumbled not meeting his gaze. "He's my first male doctor and he's the third one that I've had since starting work at the SGC,"

"Third?" Sheppard asked curiously.

"Frasier, Lam, and now Carson," Jessica said folding her hands over her exposed stomach.

"Jess, want to get something to eat after this?" Sheppard asked her.

"I can't," Jessica said, "I am having dinner with Ellie,"

"Okay," Sheppard said trying to keep the disappointment out of his voice.

He supposed, that he shouldn't have kept her waiting so long about the situation that they found themselves in. But he still didn't know if he could go behind Cam's back and date his ex while she was pregnant with Cam's baby.

"We could meet for breakfast tomorrow?" hoping she'd give him a chance.

"I have a meeting with Dr. Zelenka in the morning,"

"Oh," his face fell, and an awkward feeling came over them.

"Sorry," Jessica told him honestly as Carson came into the room.

He nodded his eyes downcast. He now knew that he officially blew it with Jess and wish that he knew how to fix that.

"Dr. Clark, this is McKay, please come to my lab immediately," Rodney's voice sounded over the PA.

"Doesn't he ever use the ear things?" Jessica asked annoyed to be paged as if she was a lost kid in the shopping mall.

He smiled at her. "Just tell him you're busy and if he says something, tell him you have a lemon and are not afraid to use it

"Lemon?" Jessica asked not comprehending what he meant about the lemon.

"Yeah, he's 'deathly' allergic to citrus," he informed her with a grin.

"And let me guess you carry one around with you?" Jessica smirked.

He pulled out one with a grin and tossed it over to her. "Always prepared,"

"I wouldn't be able to do that," Jessica said tossing it back over Carson's head. "I couldn't do it to him the few times I was forced to work with him on Earth, it wouldn't be a good idea to do it now,"

"Then tell him you're doing baby stuff. It freaks him out," he confided, giving her a tender smile. He hesitated for a moment. "Have I ruined everything?"

"Ruined everything?" Jessica asked timidly

John paused before giving an uncomfortable chuckle. "If it isn't kind of obvious, I think you are one beautiful woman."

Jessica was about to say something when she felt Carson put the gel on her stomach and then came the wand. After a few seconds of looking at the screen, she thought she heard something. "Was that what I thought it was?"

Carson gave her a tender smile. "Aye, Lass, that was the baby's heartbeat."

"Oh gosh," Jessica said as Sheppard got up and walked over and grabbed her hand as she felt the tears come down her face.

Slipping his arms around her, he gave her a gentle squeeze. "Now isn't that amazing?"

"I can't believe that it's really in there," Jessica said before looking from the screen to Carson. "Can you tell what it is yet?"

He shook his head. "Sorry, sweetheart, it hasn't had the chance to grow enough yet,"

"How much longer?" Jessica asked knowing how impatient she could be and when she emailed Cam he'd want to know as well.

He gave her an amused grin. "A few more weeks to about a month or so. Would you like me to send the images to your tablet? I'm sure the father would like an email with them." John tensed a little but relaxed enough to stroke Jessica's hair.

"Can you print them out as well?" Jessica asked knowing she had a baby book stashed away in her room, somewhere.

He gave her a nod. "Anything for the first expecting mother on Atlantis,"

"No one else has gotten pregnant here?" Jessica asked a little surprised since she knew there were some families that lived on Atlantis.

"No one from Earth. General O'Neill blushed like there was no tomorrow, making sure that we had plenty of protection." he gave her a cheeky grin.

"He should have put that sort of thought at the SGC," Jessica said thoughtfully as Carson handed her a cloth to wipe the gel off. "I think there were at least four to six women pregnant there,"

Carson shook his head. "They were on earth, figured it was safer to have a baby there. Here, there is the very real threat of the Wraith."

"Yeah, I guess someone has to start the trend," Jessica said as she sat up. "Might as well be the newbie, right?"

Carson gave her an apologetic look. "I am sorry if I offended you, Lassie,"

"Sorry," Jessica apologized. "I guess Lam was used to my humor that I forget not everyone else is,"

He nodded. "I think it would be best if you weren't alone while pregnant though, too many hazards around here. I'm sure that Colonel Sheppard would be quite happy to escort you to Rodney,"

"I'm a tough girl Carson, I can take care of myself," Jessica told him. "After all I did grow up around Marines,"

He gave her a smile. "Humor me. I'm a little selfish, wanting the best for the first mother of Atlantis to be the picture of health," he gave a little chuckle.

"Only this time," Jessica told him with. "So when do you want to see me again?"

"In two weeks time," Carson told her before adding. "Unless you would like to visit sooner,"

"Is there a reason to come sooner?" Jessica asked worriedly. "Is there something wrong with the baby?" Her hand went straight to her stomach.

He laughed. "No, no, I enjoy looking at the little one. Babies make me mushy,"

"Oh, okay," Jessica said with a sigh of relief as she buttoned her pants and slid off the bed.

John looked at her waistband for a moment, a light flush dusting his cheeks before he cleared his throat.

"I'm not going to see Rodney," she told him before adding. "You can stop looking at my fat,"

He looked up startled. "But your not fat," he said in a slightly stuptifed voice.

"I've gained weight since my first visit here," she told him with a roll of her eyes as she took the pictures from Carson and with a wave left.

He looked at Carson, confused. "Did I say something wrong?"

"Hormones," was the only thing Carson said.

John rubbed his head before shrugging.

--

Jessica was at the end of her fourth month of pregnancy and she was a lot happier on Atlantis. Things were still awkward between Cam and her, but she didn't care. She kept him updated on the baby, but that was about it. But in his last email he brought up a good question; whose last name will the baby take hers or Cam's.

She had been so excited when she found out that she was having a boy. When she was younger, she had always wanted to have a son first and then a daughter. And so maybe it would actually happen that way.

What she left out to Cam was that she started dating Colonel Sheppard about a month ago.

Jessica got up from the bed where she had been for the last hour, while looking at the email that actually had a point to it. If she gave her son, Cam's last name then if she had more, they would have different last names and it might be awkward.

With a sigh Jessica shut the computer off and left her quarters, with no destination in mind.

After walking for a short time, Jessica was on the balcony overlooking the Stargate, when it activated. After it was confirmed to be Colonel Sheppard's team, Elizabeth had Chuck lower the shield and they watched as Rodney came in first followed by the rest of the team. Usually when they returned Sheppard looked for Jessica, unless it was late. But when he saw her, she smiled at him but it wasn't returned fully. There was something wrong, she could tell. And she wasn't sure if she wanted to know what it was. Teyla had an upset expression her face as well and it was directed towards Sheppard.

Instead of waiting on her boyfriend, Jessica walked away from her spot and headed back to quarters.

"We could have helped them," Teyla said angrily not caring if anyone heard her. That had made Jessica stop and go back to her spot and listen to what happened.

"I made a choice," Sheppard told her. "I decided to save my team,"

"They were innocent people," Teyla exclaimed.

"And we didn't have the weapons or a jumper to help us," Sheppard told her. "If we had engaged we could have died along with them,"

"Or they could have lived," Teyla told him before storming off.

Jessica looked down to where the three male members of the team were still standing. Sheppard looked up and noticed that she was still there so he handed his P-90 to Ronon and headed up to the balcony where Jessica was still at.

"Why aren't you in bed?" Sheppard snapped.

"Want to rephrase that?" Jessica asked looking at him.

"You need rest," Sheppard said after taking a deep breath and grabbing her hand and walking towards his quarters.

"I'm fine," Jessica told him. "He got his first hiccups today and it felt so weird,"

Sheppard smiled and kissed the top of her hair. "You think of any names yet?"

"I like Christopher," Jessica told him. "It was my dad's middle name,"

"That's a good name," Sheppard told her waving his hand in front of the ancient censor to open his door.

"I got an email from Cam while you were gone," Jessica said as she went over and sat on the bed to take her shoes off before laying on it entirely.

"And what did he say?" Sheppard asked curiously.

"He wants to know if I am going to give the baby his last name or mine," she told him.

"And what did you tell him?" he asked taking his shirt off before sitting to take off his boots.

"I didn't reply back," Jessica said tearing her eyes away from his half naked body.

Instead of putting pajama pants on Sheppard just stripped down to his boxers and climbed on the bed and laid down next to Jessica.

Jessica turned on her side so that she could look at his face. "Aren't you going to shower?"

"Why? All we did was walk for half an hour before the fucking wraith came," Sheppard said.

"So basically you got to walk and run and listen to Rodney complain?" Jessica giggled as she felt his lips descend onto her neck.

"I don't think now is a good time to talk about Rodney, do you?" Sheppard asked as he nibbled on her neck and moved to her earlobe as one of his hands went to her stomach while the other fondled one of her breasts under the shirt that belonged to Sheppard, but she had commandeered.

"I need to know something," Sheppard said breaking all contact with her body.

"And it has to be now that you ask it?" Jessica asked unhappily that he was no longer touching her.

"If Cam ever came back, would there be a possibility that you would get back together with him," Sheppard asked unsure. "I mean it could even be for the baby's sake that you do,"

"Are you kidding me?" Jessica asked, not believing he was bringing it now, when he got her all excited.

"No, I need to know, Jess," he said.

"I can't believe you would ask me that," Jessica glared at him. "I would have figured you would have known me better than that,"

"Please," Sheppard asked.

"Why don't you think on it," Jessica glowered at him before storming out of his room, not even bothering to put her shoes back on. She was too angry.

But if she thought about it, would she get back together with Cam for the baby's sake?

--

PuppyPower01: Thanks for the continued support and letting me bounce ideas off you and helping when I get into a rut, lol

ElaineDex: Was this a fast enough update? Lol. Hope work doesn't keep you down.