Gone Yesterday, Here Today
(At Bobby's. Sam and Dean are standing outside the car. Bobby is walking toward them.)
Sam: How'd we get here so fast?
Dean: I'm not sure. . . . Why is your hair standing on end?
Sam (patting his head): Weird . . . well, I'm glad we're here. This is one only Bobby can help on.
Bobby: It's great to see you boys. I don't think I've seen you since yesterday when you needed me to tell you how to salt-and-burn the bones of a vengeful spirit.
Dean (nervous laugh): We just don't want you to get lonely . . . out here all by yourself all the time and all. . . .
Bobby (adjusting his hat): So what can I do for you boys?
(Sam, choking back tears, explains the problem.)
Sam: And now we can't even figure out what's missing from my life.
Bobby (clearing his throat): Well that's easy. You've been missing your bangs for 1.5 seasons.
Sam: What?!
Dean: Dude, it's true. You've been disappointing the fans.
Sam (bewildered): What fans?
Dean: Ssh! They'll hear you! The fans, who gave you ratings, which give you a job, which should give you a goddamned reason to get out of bed in the morning!
Sam (checking his reflection in a cracked rear-view mirror of a nearby convertible): They were rather becoming, weren't they. And they kept the sun off my face! (His face clouds over.) But how do I get them back? It was Jess that always cut my hair before.
Dean (rolling his eyes): I'll see what I can do.
Later –
Dean: So what do you think?
Bobby: Why, I don't think you've ever looked handsomer a day in your life, dangnabit!
Dean (proudly): Prettier, even.
Bobby (sniffs): It makes me want to ask you to the school dance.
Sam (tearing up): Thanks, guys. Can we have a group hug now, please? (Dean and Bobby move in for the hug, chins quivering.) I love you all!
Dean: We love you too, Sammy.
Sam: Dude. I was talking to my bangs.