A/N: It's been a month since I last updated. I am so, so, SO sorry for that. Things have been somewhat crazy lately and I was stuck into a major writer's block. I hope, however, that you will think this was worth waiting for. : ) And I promise I will try and work on return to my weekly updates.
I do not have words for how wonderful everyone has been. Thank you all for the reviews, pms and alerts. You girls are truly awesome and the reason I keep writing this. This is dedicated to you all.
Same disclaimers as before.
CHAPTER FOUR:
Shrimp Girl's neighborhood was completely silent when Reagan's truck parked outside the Raudenfeld-Cooper's household.
It had been just a few hours since the purple haired girl had read Hester's Tumblr about Karmy's breakup. At first, she could not believe her eyes. She had read and reread that post and refreshed the page a thousand times in hope that someone had deleted it. But it had been useless. That fucking interview had not gone anywhere and that ridiculous picture of the said couple – Photoshop manipulated to be cut in half – was now forever printed in Reagan's brain.
She first had called Lauren to know if the girl knew something about it. She didn't. They talked for some minutes trying to figure out what could possible had happened between the power couple, but the only conclusion they had agreed on was that Hester was a fucked up place fulfilled with fucked up people and that Karma was the most fucked up of all.
Which was no small achievement, if you think about it.
The girl had lied her way through a false homosexual relationship for more than two months only to be popular and now she was lying about the reasons of an alleged break-up, not caring one little bit about her best friend's reputation in the whole process.
That was the definition of fucked up in Reagan's dictionary.
It was so screwed up that Reagan was worried about the state of mind of the said best friend in all of this. She had seen the expectation in Shrimps' eyes before the threesome. She had seen the way her green eyes had twinkled dreamily while talking about the possibility of Karma liking her back and the silly and almost imperceptible smile that had ghosted her rosy lips when Amy thought about it. Her face had actually lighted up in such an innocent and beautiful way just talking about her high expectations of Karma loving her back and now…
Now.
Now Reagan could guess things had not gone in the way Shrimps had hoped.
And everyone knows how the saying goes: the higher you climb, the harder you fall.
Reagan felt her insides quivering only thinking about from how high Shrimps had fallen that day.
Therefore, she drove herself to Shrimp Girl's place and sat outside for a moment, thinking over her next step. She certainly knew she should just try and stay away from the blonde girl. Her friendship with Amy was already too much to Reagan and certainly not enough to Amy and nobody needed to be a genius to know who would be hurt at the end of that equation.
On the other side, who was she kidding? Only knowing Shrimp Girl could be alone in her bedroom and suffering had Reagan feeling a crushing need to be there for the girl. To just put her arms around Shrimps and hold her tight until her pain would go away.
As much as the DJ wanted to believe otherwise, she really had no choice. She had to see the girl. She could not just go away.
So Reagan called Amy's number from the car, waiting for the girl to pick up, "Hey Shrimps." She said in a happy little tone as soon as the girl answered.
"Reagan, God." the blonde girl exclaimed from the other side. At first, her voice was seamlessly relieved, but then it got irritated, "Where were you? I've been calling you and texting and-"
Reagan interrupted her before she could keep on her rambling. "Look outside your window," she requested watching Shrimps' window from her car. She saw as the curtains from the girl's bedroom were opened at the second floor and Amy appeared. The blonde looked confused but as soon as she spotted Reagan's truck, she smiled.
"Hello, Shrimps!" The DJ said waving at the girl with feigned unpretentiousness, as if appearing unannounced at her door late at night was completely normal for them.
"What are you doing here?" Amy whispered, her eyes a little wide and a smile lighting her face.
That smile had already made the visit worth.
"Well," Reagan started casually, "I just got back from work and you know. Got caught up in all this soap opera and thought that maybe you would want some company and a shoulder to cry?" and then she made an offer she knew Shrimp Girl could not refuse, waiving a brown bag outside her window, "I brought doughnuts!"
Shrimps' smile only grew wider, "I could marry you right now, you know." She admitted and if Reagan felt her heart skip a beat at the little joke, she decided not to pay attention to it, "I'll be down in two minutes."
A few minutes later, the door of the Raudenfeld-Cooper's opened and Shrimp Girl walked out in her black bacon sweats (yes, she had one of those). Reagan frowned as she watched Shrimps marching in the direction of her truck, still in her pajamas. She could feel a changing of demeanor only by the girl's walking. There was a heaviness that had not been there before Reagan had left for Dallas.
"Hey, Shrimps." She welcomed the girl in her car when she opened the passenger's door. Amy sat and before Reagan could realize just how cute the blonde looked with her hair pulled up in a messy bun or just how opaque her green eyes looked, Shrimp Girl launched herself at Reagan, embracing the older girl.
Reagan could swear she actually stopped breathing as she felt one of Shrimp's arms wrapping around her neck and the other enveloping her waist snugly. She felt the younger's hair's scent very close as Amy laid her head on Reagan's shoulder, her nose touching her neck – her fucking neck, Christ –, and she breathe in deeply, trying to memorize that's scent, as Shrimps held her tight.
It took a minute for the older girl to hug Shrimps back. Her fingers trembled a little, almost unperceivably, as they caressed Amy's back from her lower back to the nape of her neck, back and forth, in soothing movements. Reagan stopped when she felt Shrimps shivering as her finger touched a particular spot of the blonde's neck. The DJ smiled faintly as she realized she might not be the only one affected by their closeness.
Amy pulled away first. "God, I'm sorry. Today was just…" she trailed off as she lost her inside battle to find the word that would describe her day. Reagan were already starting her car as if that behavior was completely normal to them, not wanting to make a big deal out of it and embarrass Shrimps. "Where are we going?" Shrimp asked after a few minutes of silence.
"Well. You just said you could marry me, so I'm thinking of City Hall." She said playfully winking at the other girl, trying to joke around to make Amy more comfortable.
Amy's rosy lips formed a smile despite everything. "I don't think I want to be wearing bacon sweats in our wedding pictures, honey." She said in the same tone as Reagan, enjoying their silliness.
"You look beautiful in anything, love." Reagan affirmed with an exaggerated and mocking affection – her warm eyes, however, stared at Amy as if each word she said was true.
"Five minutes of this and you're already the best fiancée." Amy sighed dramatically to feign being in love. Reagan could not help but chuckle at their banter, always on synch. She loved how the younger girl always matched her playfulness.
"Shrimps, when are you going to learn I'm the best in everything?" she asked ironically, as her brown eyes found the greenish eyes staring at her briefly before returning her attention to the road.
"So modest too." Shrimp Girl mumbled under her breath, "I'm a lucky girl."
Giggling – for God's sake, she fucking giggled – Reagan put a hand on Shrimps' leg and pinched her as she winked. "Don't you forget."
They ended up at a park a little far from Shrimps' house. They had already gone there a few times. It was a good place to maneuver the truck underneath the stars and just lay around – be there in the back of the truck or in the grass or even at some benches near a small lake.
They had never verbally knowledged it, but that park had somehow become their special place. They would not go there with anyone else and they had their own favorite spots. The ones where they naturally gravitated towards. Their tree. Their bench. Their favorite foodtruck. They even had their favorite duck – the smallest and darkest one who was always alone, it was their own ugly duckling, as Amy had said.
It was a comforting place and Reagan could not imagine a better place to take Shrimp Girl.
And from the way Shrimps' eyes twinkled as she recognized the place they were driving to, she knew she made the right choice.
Reagan threw down her picnic towel on the grass by the river, not very far from other people who were still at the park. As they sat in there, Shrimp Girl immediately found the doughnuts and smiled faintly, "You bought my favorites!"
"Only the best for my girl." She winked as she observed the blonde eating rather savagely her food, "Oh, I almost forgot." she picked her purse and started looking for something inside, "I brought beverages too! Water, coke or juice?" she put her options in the towel and stared at Shrimps expectantly.
"Do you think of everything?" She wondered aloud with a chuckle, but her eyes were still persistently opaque. As if that entire dreamy gleam that it was there days before had gone away completely.
Amy decided for the Coke and Reagan for the juice. Amy asked about Dallas, about the event Reagan worked in and the DJ had a feeling that Amy just wanted to scape and pretend that everything hadn't happened. Therefore, she told Shrimps about her dislike for rich parties with old men who thought woman were properties and they were educating their sons to be just like them. She told her about the jokes one of her colleagues were always telling or about how Nadia were always sleeping or smoking on breaks. She talked so much that she ended up telling Amy all about all her old jobs too. Even the time she had babysat for her neighbors and almost had lost one of the kids.
Amy smiled, even laughed at the funniest parts, but she was not being Shrimps. Reagan's Shrimp Girl. So after telling everything she could think of, she coughed weakly and asked with a raised eyebrow, "Wanna talk about it?"
Amy sighed and her shoulders slumped a little, but she nodded her head. After a few seconds of silence, she finally mumbled, "Everything is so fucked up right now."
"I kissed Karma at the threesome. I mean, I really kissed her." She whispered and, although Reagan couldn't have expected anything less (she had been actually expecting a lot worse), it still sent a rush of discomfort running through her body. "It was… It was soft and amazing and when it ended, I looked into her eyes and I could just see she was feeling the same thing that I was."
No, she was probably not – Reagan wanted to argue. She had seen Karma kissing Shrimps many times. She had overanalyzed it, for fuck's sake. It was all bureaucratic and pretending. It was embarrassing to watch. It was one of the reasons that everything hurt so damn much. If Shrimps' feelings had been actually mutual, if Karmy had been truly a potential couple, Reagan could have just stepped aside. She would eventually just get over her little crush.
Seeing, however, the blonde blinded and walking to a building on fire? She could not look at the other side and pretend not to see. Her eyes were glued at the scene.
And it was a scene painful to watch.
But she would not be a good friend if she said those things, so she just nodded.
Shrimps kept going, unware of Reagan's inner battle. "But then Booker kissed me and Karma ran away looking completely lost. I thought, God, I honestly thought that the reason she had run away was her being confused about our kiss. Our as hers and mine. How pathetic is that, really?" she chuckled in a self-deprecating way. Reagan noticed Amy's eyes were starting to glitter with trembling tears that would not fall. Not yet.
"So I went this morning to her place and she was, like, talking about her hair and saying we should break up and handing me a file about celebrities' couples that broke up. She was acting like a maniac comparing us to Brad and Jennifer, saying things about freaking babies I don't want to have and she even set up an interview with school's Tumblr. I was so lost in everything that was thrown at me I had no reaction whatsoever.
"And ridiculously enough all I could think about was that kiss and Karma's look after it and how sure I was that it had meant something to her and that I just need time to make her accept those feelings. Drag her out of her denial's bubble, you know?" she said sniffing as her tears were slowly starting to run down her cheeks. She dried them with her t-shirt as she kept going under Reagan's warm stare.
"So when we went to the interview with Vashti Nadira, she already knew about the threesome because the fucker had to tell his friends about banging some lesbians. Karma desperately tried to convince Vashti that the threesome had nothing to do with our breakup, saying some crappy thing about being friends and whatnot. Vashiti didn't believe. A couple of hours later came that interview you probably already saw…" she trailed off as she looked at Reagan for confirmation. The DJ only nodded.
"Yeah. Well. I was sure that text was a lie. Karma wouldn't say those things, right? Not my best friend. I went to Karma's and she just confirmed. Said it was to protect Liam's reputation." She shrugged trying to look indifferent, but looking like a kid who had just lost her puppy.
Reagan got closer to the girl and wrapped her in a side hug. Amy immediately hide her face in the older girl's neck, a spot Reagan thought Shrimp was starting to like too much and shit. That was too dangerous.
"You guys will be all right." She whispered running her hand up and down Amy's arms.
Reagan could not actually believe Karma's action. It seemed unreasonable. Not even her consuming of all her parents' drugs would explain it.
Reagan wanted to point some things out. Wanted to say that the redhead had simply gone too far. The girl had been testing the limits of that friendship for weeks – as if asking Amy how far would she go? How real are her promises? How strong are the relationship? Karma just didn't realized what she had been destroying in the way.
Amy.
Every day she had been less and less of herself. Letting Karma walk all over her. She was giving her pieces to Karma, handing them every time she didn't say "no" or "not this time". Shrimps thought that love was that. Not saying "no". Not pointing out awful trues.
But it was the opposite to Reagan. Love had limits. Love said "no" sometimes. Love pointed out awful trues.
However, Shrimps did not want Reagan's love. Therefore, the older girl didn't point the true, she felt she didn't had the right to. Reagan simply repeated, "Everything will be all right, Shrimps."
"That's the thing, Rae." Amy said in a little and almost ashamed tone, "I don't know if I want things to be all right. All right means back to normal. It means faking it. It means everything being about Karma again. All right means ignore how she hurt me or how she never thought about me when she gave that interview."
Amy sighed heavily, tickling Reagan's neck with a gust of breath. "At the same time," she restarted as Reagan listened to her carefully, her heart beating in a throbbing way. "She is Karma. She's been around forever. She knows me inside out. She was there when I needed it. She has flaws, but who doesn't? And I can actually understand them. The flaws, I mean. The insecurities."
She paused as she withdraw from Reagan and then said in a gloomy tone. "I have the some of the same insecurities. We just deal with them in different ways. So when Karma does what she does, part of me can't help but understand and accept. As much as it hurts me. And I know she does the same. She knows all about my imperfections, she knows me better than I know myself… And she accepts me."
Reagan felt her heart tightening. The way she said. The way Shrimps talked about Karmy was still dreamy and infatuated.
Still.
After everything.
"If she knows you so much, how come she didn't realize you're in love with her?" she asked before she could even thinking. Her brain was just too fast sometimes. Especially when her heart was not working properly.
"That's because I am hiding it from her." Amy said withdrawing even more from Reagan, her body getting rigid and her position getting defensive.
"Well, that's convenient." Reagan murmured under her breath and she did nothing to hide her ironic tone.
Shrimps just shook her head. "You don't understand. You can't have friends like I have Karma. You're always moving around," she said somewhat sourly and Reagan was not actually surprised by the tone, even if still a little miffed. Amy had always been touchy about Karma. Karmy was Karmy and Reagan knew better than talk about it. That was where Amy draw the line in her friendship with Reagan.
It was forbidden territory.
"We better go, we have school tomorrow." Reagan said in a small voice, standing up and gesturing Amy to do the same.
Shrimps gathered their stuff unaware of the change in the air, "You know what I just realized?" she asked as her eyes scanned the area in search for a dump to throw away the soda can and juice. She spotted it and started walking towards it as she said casually, "Now everybody will think I had two hot chicks falling for me and I never had any."
It took a few seconds to Reagan's mind comprehend what Shrimps was saying. She smiled despite everything and her mood actually started to brighten right there. She was a fool.
"Wait. You think I am hot?" she asked running behind the blonde.
Just a few hours later, Reagan was sitting in her desk at her Russian History's Class and drawing a rather hateful caricature of Karma when a paper ball fell on her table. She looked around to see who had thrown it at her, but found everyone concentrated on their own things or on their teacher.
Reagan then opened the paper ball and read what was written inside: "you should go back from where you came from, homewrecker."
And a little below: "skank whore."
Reagan rolled her eyes. It had been like this all her morning. When she had first arrived at school, she found out that someone had opened her locker, stolen one of her sketchbooks and even scrawled all over some pictures on the inside of the locker door. As if that was not enough, that same mysterious someone had painted the words "homewrecker cunt" on the front of her locker door in giant white letters.
Needless to say that it was not a good morning.
Only two classes later and half of school had bumped on her on the hallways or had called her names – her favorite one was fucking purple haired slut – or had at least given her hateful looks as if she were Hitler.
It almost felt as some of her old schools when the mean cheerleaders hated her for being a lesbian.
Almost. But not quite.
Because she was not fifteen anymore and she would not let those fuckers walk all over her.
So she smiled and feigned indifference and threw a biting retort every time, shutting whoever try to offended her. Nobody had thought she was actually going to fight back, so when she decided to play the angry lesbian ready to punch whomever she wanted some people looked so scared they might have peed their pants.
It had been funny the first few times.
Then it got tiresome.
There were too many people and they were all restless and – after an entire morning of being called names and glared at – her walls were starting to crack.
She could feel all her darkest feelings creeping up her chest and pleading her to fight back with her dirtiest weapons and be as despicable as the other students were being. To just yell at everyone that Karma was a bitch who faked being a lesbian and who manipulated them all to be popular and to fuck a guy – a guy who sexually objectified lesbians, not caring a bit about who she was or about who he would be hurting in that process. Yes, her anger wanted to throw Karma and Liam to the lions and let them suffer for playing around with Amy and – now – with Reagan herself.
But she couldn't.
She wouldn't.
That was not who she was.
Besides, she would never risk hurting Shrimps like that. Exposing Karma was the same as exposing Amy. No matter which one had the brilliant idea of faking a lesbian relationship; they both had done it. It would not matter to Hester School which girl had insisted on the faking and which one had her heart broken by it. The students would be merciless with them both.
Or, even if they weren't and by some miracle they ended up understanding Amy, Shrimp Girl would suffer seeing Karma hurting. It always hurt when the one you love is hurting.
And after the night before, when Reagan had comforted Shrimps, she knew, she fucking knew that the girl was enduring enough hurting.
She could not be hurt anymore.
And if Reagan had to stand some good old bullying to avoid Amy's being more hurt?
So be it.
"Check this out," said Haley looking at her Skwerkel Phone as she, Reagan and Matt were in the refectory for lunch. There were some people glaring at them and whispering, but the trio had tacitly decided to ignore it. "Here at Tumblr it says I am your girlfriend!" She read slowly, her voice swaying between energetic and outrageous.
"Know this, Reagan," Haley interrupted her reading and winked theatrically at Reagan "I expect something at Valentine's. And not something cheap." Regan rolled her eyes and smiled. Having Haley and Matt making fun of everything that was happening was certainly helping the heaviness she felt pressing on her chest.
"Nothing but the best for you, my lady!" Reagan playfully retorted and the trio laughed at their own dorkiness before Haley returned to her reading:
"Oh. It gets better!" Haley said with excitement. Looking at the expectants gazes of her friends, she sat and paused for effect before blurting out: "It says here you, Rae, gave Amy the idea of the threesome since you and I do it all the time…. with Matty!"
Reagan's eyes grow so wide she thought her orbs would jump out of it. The she laughed because really, what else could she do? "Matty, I never knew you were such a player!" she said teasingly slapping his arm.
"Yeah, that's me. The man whore of Hester." He deadpanned.
"You never fool-" Haley started saying smugly, but was interrupted by someone stopping right by their table with a tray and coughing discreetly to catch their attention.
Reagan's eyes travelled up to see who was that person and they found Amy's green and sad ones. "Shrimps!" she exclaimed surprised. "Here, sit with us, the sexually immoral trio of Hester."
Amy frowned hearing that comment. Matty and Hales first smiled about the joke, but then they looked apprehensive about Shrimp Girl sitting with them. As far as they knew, she was only the other half of Karmy. People couldn't see Amy or Karma as individuals, but only as a couple and Reagan could not blame them for that.
"Hales, Matty, this is Amy, my lover... apparently." She introduced the blonde, who sat beside Reagan and in front of Haley. The younger girl waved awkwardly at Reagan's friends. It was obvious this was new to her. "Shrimps, these are Haley and Matt, my friends here at Hester… Or also my lovers, according to the freshest news at Tumblr."
"Hi." She said a little shy attempting to smile at Haley and Matt before turning to Reagan with incredulity: "And really?"
"Yeah, apparently I only have lovers. I am not able to have friends." Reagan explained shrugging.
"I doubt they will turn Lauren into your lover, she's too stiff for that." Amy declared with some venom, unable to let go of her animosity with her stepsister.
"I like her." Haley stated all of sudden in a genuine kind of way. She loved whoever hated Lauren. "Can we keep her?" she asked pouting and looking like a child asking for a puppy.
Reagan decided to ignore her friend and instead asked Amy "How was your day, Shrimps?"
"Besides the staring, the calling names, not talking to Karma? It's been just peachy." She said somewhat rudely, eating her chips.
Haley and Matt looked at each other and Matt mentioned a little bitterly, "At least they didn't vandalized your locker."
"Yeah, I heard about that." whispered Shrimps guiltily, "I am sorry, Rae."
Reagan touched the girl's knee affectionately as if trying to reassure the girl that everything was fine and saw a little smile grace the girl's lips.
"And her car…" Hales added, remembering Reagan of that fact.
"What!" Amy exclaimed astonished, her mouth hanging open. "Who? When? Why?"
"Apparently it was a revenge of some sorts of the Karmy freshmen after a discussion with the Reamy girls? The Reamy girls said that Karmy were only a puppy love, that Reamy was the real deal, and that they could feel the sex tension in the air. I swear." Haley told them as if reporting a scandalous gossip. She smiled pleased with herself.
Amy, on the other hand, was not pleased at all. "That's insane? And what the fuck is Reamy?" she asked confused making a cute little frowned face.
"Reamy as in Reagan and Amy," Haley clarified. "And I agree with you. These people don't have a life. Honestly, I've seen people taking RPF a little too far in other fandoms, but these girls takes the cake." She shook her head as she continued with her characteristic nerdy rambling, "Anyways, why would anyone ship Karmy? No offense, blondie. But everyone talks about her as she was some kind of Mary Sue, which is totally OOC, if you ask me, as we know she can be a bitch – again, no offense."
"RPF? Fandom...?" Amy asked slowly, looking at Haley as if she was a lunatic. "What are you talking about?"
While the girls talked, Reagan's phone vibrated in her pocket. She looked it over quickly.
Nadia: Just showed your picture to that friend of mine. Let's just say she was VERY interested. Let's all hang out on Saturday? No pressure.
Haley feigned shock by Amy's lack of nerdy knowledge. "You know nothing about this?" she asked with her mouth hanging open. "I don't think I can ship Reamy anymore after this," she then said looking over Reagan with a scornful look in her face. Amy just stared at Hales probably wondering where the fuck she was.
Reagan: I'll be mixing on Saturday.
She sent the message, not sure about how she felt about meeting someone. She turned to Amy with a friendly smile "She is joking, Shrimps," and then she glared at Haley "Stop joking."
"You are already being so protective of the newbie." Haley sighed dramatically, as she smiled "I take back what I said. I'm totally shiping it. You girls are the cutest." Reagan rolled her eyes.
"You are crazy, you know that?" Amy asked and she actually smiled at all the interaction, as if finding all that craziness comforting somehow.
"Trust me, she knows." Matt assured sarcastically and Hales nodded with her mouth full of food. Reagan's phone vibrated again.
Nadia: Great. We meet you there at midnight! The usual place?
Reagan thought about it. She could say no. It wouldn't be fair to anyone to get involve when she was having all those crazy undefined feelings about Shrimps. Reagan was absolutely against using someone to forget other person – she knew from experience. But at the same time… Nadia was not saying anything about being involved. She had said friends with benefits. That was an agreement she was interest in…
She could only go and meet the girl and see if some sparkles would fly…
Yeah.
As she was just sending Nadia the address of the club she'd be mixing in, she heard a very loud and familiar voice reverberating around the whole refectory as everyone fell in silence.
"There he is!" It was Lauren. She was – Jesus Freaking Christ – standing up in a table with others girls and she had a megaphone in her hands as she stared down Liam Booker, who had just entered the room with Shane Harvey. "How many hearts are you gonna break, Liam Booker?"
Reagan observed shocked as the scene unfold. Vashti Nadira had just pulled her phone and started filming everything as Liam just stood there looking as perplexed as everyone else.
"Women are not sex objects!" another girl shouted as the others agreed with their own shouting and then some students applauded around the refectory (Haley included).
"First it's these hotties and now Hester's less attractive lesbians!" Lauren kept going ferociously and with such indignity one could actually believe she gave a damn about it – which Reagan knew it was not the case. The brunette looked at Lauren with a raised eyebrow, trying to comprehend her agenda.
Then Lauren looked around the room and shouted to all the students, getting actually angry, "And why the fuck a man can do all those things and it's all right, but when you heard a fuck rumor about two girls supposedly hooking up you all think it's your fuck business to trash their stuff and slut shaming them?" She asked and all of sudden everyone become soundless. The air in the room got smothery.
"Guess what? You're all a bunch of homophobic and sexist SOB." She declared viciously and the others girls with her shouted their agreement.
It all made sense in Reagan's mind. Lauren was defending her. In the only way she knew how. Attacking someone else.
To Reagan's surprise, some students eventually got up and started clapping and cheering (yes, including Haley) while Booker just left the room with disbelief written all over his face. Lauren thanked the applause with her best smile usually reserved only for pageants.
As Reagan watched the scene unfolded before her eyes, she could not be grateful for Lauren's solely existence.
Reagan was ready for her day to be over.
It was only Tuesday after lunch and it was already one of the shittiest weeks in a very long time.
And it had only gotten worse after she saw Karma's announcement to the whole school.
She had been at the library at the time. She had been trying to finish the drawing she needed to turn in the next day in her Art's Class. She only had managed a rough draft of her mom's face and she had been trying for minutes to make it less angry and more artsy – which had been nearly impossible with everyone at the library glaring at her. It had been hard to concentrate ever since she had put her foot in the room.
But after that announcement?
After watching Karma apologizing in the most generic way and making that face of a victim she seemed to master? After the whole "I don't want to lose Amy, the person in this word who means the most to me"? After watching Red and Shrimp Girl embracing as if nothing had happened, as if they had not turned Reagan's day upside down, as if they had not dragged the girl into their fucking High School's drama? After that fake theatrical scene of two girls in love together again as if they had been apart because of a Fucking World War and everyone at Hester cheering for them and looking at Reagan as if saying "you lost"?
After the anger that started burning her lungs and climbed up through her trachea and it made hard to breathe?
After all of it?
It had been impossible to concentrate.
Impossible even to stay at Hester Fucking High School.
Breathing out a "fuck you all" Reagan quickly packed her stuff. Without even going by her locker – which, thinking about it, would be pointless, since it had no actual lock in it –, the purpled hair girl walked fast to her truck. Her vandalized truck, mind you. With offending words painted in all her glasses.
But fuck it all. That was not going to stop her. Sitting behind the steering wheel, she wasted no time to start her car, not caring one bit about her impaired vision of the road. She was getting out of Hester and nothing would be stopping her.
Because she was fucking ready for her day to be over.
But of course God hated her and there were still some hours left until the actual end of her day.
On the first hours left, Lauren appeared at Reagan's place. The purpled hair girl had been on the stairs in front of her house, taking advantage of the sunlight to finish her drawing when she spotted the blonde girl walking in her direction. The tiny blonde was looking as defeated as Reagan had been feeling and both girls smiled at each other tiredly when Lauren sat on the step Reagan were sitting, beside the brunette.
Reagan wanted to ask Lauren about what Shane had been saying that day at school – something about Lauren taking what now appeared to be some mystery pills. Reagan had actually seen Lauren taking them before, but she always assumed they were vitamins or those beauty-boosting supplements. Lauren looked like someone who would care about that. However, after seeing the girl's reaction to Shane's threat, Reagan started to wonder.
As if reading Reagan's mind, Lauren said after some seconds of silence: "I know you want to ask me about the pills." Her tone might have sounded harsh to anyone, but Reagan knew better. She heard the light trembling behind it, "I am not ready to talk about it, though." Lauren admitted and her voice and face seemed completely sincere and even fragile.
Reagan smiled kindly at the shorter girl and put her arm around Lauren's shoulder, "Take your time, my feminist friend. I am not going anywhere."
"You might want to reconsider that." Lauren snickered and Reagan glared at her with a raised eyebrow, as if asking what she was talking about. The blonde girl pointed her finger to Reagan's other side with a disapproving look at her face. "Look who's coming."
Slowly, as if knowing it was bad news, Reagan turned to look. And there – hand in hand – were Shrimp Girl and Karma walking to Reagan and Lauren's direction. The brunette took her arm away from Lauren and put her game face on. She figured she would need it to what would happen next.
Not surprisely, Lauren was the first to say something.
"What the fuck are you doing here?" Lauren asked when both girls were close enough to listen to her, only a few feet away. The smaller girl had her most hostile look at her face and Reagan was a little bit glad that she was not at the end of that look.
"Calm down, Lauren." Carmen said in an almost shy tone, putting her hands up in a peace offer. "We came here to apologize." She mumbled looking sincere, her big and clear eyes searching Reagan's darker ones with embarrassment. Reagan instantly hated that feigned look of innocence. The girl had just fucked her over – please. She was nothing innocent.
"Amy doesn't have anything to apologize for, except maybe being an idiot who follows you around like a lost puppy." Lauren got up and crossed her arms over her chest as she glared at Karma with contempt and a good amount of aggressiveness. "You, on the other hand…"
"Hey, I did nothing to you." The redhead's eyes searched for Amy, whom, until then, had just been standing there looking very uncomfortable at the situation. Shrimps refused to help her best friend and only looked at the ground, finding if curiously interesting.
"You did something to my best friend. That's enough reason for me to run you over with my car." Lauren said still very aggressive.
"Your best friend? Lauren, she's in town for less than two months." Karma was smiling snickering at her own comment and Reagan watched as Lauren's attitude failed for a second, insecurity shining in her eyes.
What the fuck.
Suddenly all the anger and sadness of the day and just that whirl of feelings of the last fucking weeks made an appearance and Reagan felt her body burning in a way it made her impulsive and unreasonable.
Nobody talked like that with Lauren.
"Well, Carmen." Reagan said stepping closer to the redhead, trying the same fake scorning smile, "Some of us don't need ten years to know what true friendship is like."
The girl was not expecting that. She only looked at Reagan and said above a trembling whisper, "My name is Karma."
Reagan ignored her completely, unstoppable once she had started, "Some of us actually knows that true friendship doesn't involve asking our so-called best-friend to pretend to be gay or inviting her to a threesome she so obviously was not comfortable with – and with a guy she clearly loathes! Some of us actually knows what true friendship means. And guess what, telling lies about your said best friend on School's Tumblr to save some prick's ass? That's not friendship. Have you even heard of Chicks before Dicks? Hoes before Bros?" she asked truly exasperated because everything was just so obvious. It was in Friendship 101 for friendships between straight girls and still Reagan (a lesbian girl!) needed to fucking draw it to the girl for her to understand.
Karma only stared at Reagan without even blink.
"Obviously you didn't." Reagan snorted.
Karma shook her head slowly, as if her brain were still registering what it had just said. Then she looked at Amy, who had been a little behind her through all that. "How does she know all that, Amy?" She asked hesitantly, "Amy…?" she insisted seriously when Amy only gazed at her half guiltily, half confused.
"That's all you care in everything I've just said?" Reagan asked incredulously, her hands in her waist.
"I-" Amy started, apparently uncomfortable, "What do you want me to say?" she finally asked Karma, almost in a apologetically tone, as she screeched the back of her neck. "She's my friend too."
Reagan didn't like one bit her tone of 'I am sorry, but what can I do if I am friend with her?'
"But I am your best friend." Carmen argued with those big eyes that made her look so innocent and – why not? – cute and believable that she had all school at her knees. "How could you? I never told our secrets to anyone."
"God, I thought I was self-centered." Lauren mumbled, shocked with the reactions in front of her.
"Our secrets, Karma?" repeated Shrimps in her 'don't start to piss me off' tone, "If they are my secrets, I can tell anyone I want. It's not like I published everything at School's Tumblr."
Touché.
"You might as well have! She can do whatever she wants with that kind of information." Karma reasoned pointing to Reagan, "Especially now that-"
"Especially now that you fucked me over, right, Carmen?" interrupted Reagan, and her tone were sardonic and it was clear to anyone she were in for a fight. "Yeah, let's talk about that. I think you came here to do that, am I right?"
"My name's Karma." repeated Karma through her teeth.
"Dude, do you think I fucking care about your name?" Reagan exploded, "Or care about you to tell anyone about your High School Drama? You see, Carmen. I have an actual life. Actual problems. I am a real lesbian. I suffered homophobia. I don't go around pretending I am something I ain't just to get attention of my parents because guess what? They are not even around to see it. And you know what? I am already fucking thankful I am not one of those kids whose parents expelled them from home or made they go to therapy or beat the crap out of them" she stopped to breathe, her shoulders slumping. She realized after her rambling just how much adrenaline was bumping through her veins as she let out her thoughts out without restraints.
"So you coming here at my place apologize for saying bullshit about me at Tumblr?" she chucked, "Dude, you done things much worse lately and you don't even realize it. Just… grow up."
"I am really sorry." She said as if those words could heal everything. Silly girl.
"Don't you see?" she blurted out. Then she signed and said in an almost patronizing way, "This is not about your feelings."
"Well. It's not about yours either." Karma said gathering all her courage (Lauren and Reagan together could be very scaring) and self-righteousness as she could.
"What the fuck do you mean?" Reagan's voice stiffened considerably, dangerously.
"My friendship with Amy. You have no right to say those things about it. You have nothing to do with it." She declared petulantly, crossing her arms over her chest.
"You dragged me into it!" Reagan groaned affronted with it all, "I didn't want any part in that relationship, but you dragged me into this shit by giving that interview."
"I dragged you into it? You dragged yourself stealing Am-" Karma was so angry she could barely form sentences.
"Shut up, Karma." Amy interrupted, physically putting herself between Karma and Reagan, who were getting to close to each other. "Nobody stole me. I am not an object." She affirmed sarcastically, glaring at Karma. "And Reagan's right. You dragged her into this drama by giving that interview and that is why we are here, to say we are sorry. Which we are." She affirmed looking like a mother trying to give a lesson to her child.
Then she turned to Reagan and her look was even harder than before. "But Karma is also right. Our friendship is ours alone. It's not up to you to talk about it. I never gave you space to do that and you know it." She declared and her tone said it all. That was not up to discussion.
It was something that Reagan actually had known about through all the friendship and had prevented at all costs to bring it up. Then the one time it happened, Shrimps decided to lecture her in front of freaking Carmen.
Fuck her. Fuck them.
"So. Now that's all clear, let's go." Shrimps said as if she hadn't just stomp Reagan's heart and started walking off. Karma, as shocked as Reagan, took few seconds to recover and followed the blonde – looking pleased, as she just had won a battle.
But Carmen could actually consider herself a war victorious. Because Reagan always advocated for peace and she would never enter a war of that kind.
If Shrimps wanted her to stay away, she would.
As Reagan and Lauren stood there, watching Karmy disappear in the end of the street, Lauren said, "I told you I was the cool sister."
A/N: So yeah. Maybe I used Reagan to say things I wish I could say to Karma. Sorry not sorry.
After the entire trailer's drama, I just want to assure everyone that this story is Reamy endgame. Sure, I intend to make this story a slow burn, they are not going to get together soon (sorry, guys), but this surely is Reamy. I don't care about what happens on the next season. Fanfiction is a scape and I plan to do my story one.
I am thinking about maybe writing smaller chapters and updating with more frequency… what do you people think?
Again, I am really sorry about the waiting and thank you all for the patience. Reviews make me a happy writer S2
To my Nameless Brazilian Reviewer: Você tem um tumblr ou algo assim em que a gente possa conversar melhor?