Chapter Four

Ryan wandered over to a bar, entering serenely. He collapsed on one of the bar stools, ordering a drink. He wanted to better things with Hayley, but he simply did not know how. Calling her would not do any good- she would simply decide not to pick up. Seeing her in person, would likely make things worse because of his uncanny way of expressing himself. The bartender approached him with his beer, "Rough day?" he tried to seem as understanding as possible, despite the fact that he had heard the same circumstances from many other men. He even tried to seem interested, as he prepped his chin with his hand, leaning against the bar counter. Ryan nodded, clasping his ice-cold beer in between his palms, as he studied the golden liquid.

"Yeah, rough day," Ryan said with a sigh, as he swigged some of the beer. He felt the coolness oozing down his throat, feeling its icy trail down his throat.

"It's about a lady, isn't it?" the bartender questioned, making assumptions about Ryan with every gulp he took of his beer. He had definitely seen it before. He used all the same lines to give the beer-drinker a proper pep-talk, "And you're probably some huge exec at some amazing Newport company,"

Ryan looked up, looking at the man's eerie expression, "How did you know that?" Ryan asked, his chin drooping slightly in awe. The man laughed, as he shook his head.

"You've still got your name tag on, smart stuff," he smirked, softly, "But don't worry. It's nothing I haven't seen before,"

"I don't need a therapist," Ryan grunted, already annoyed with the man's arrogance.

"Hey, when I see a brother in need, I'm there," he said, seeing how quickly Ryan finished his beer, "Here, next one's on the house." And so Ryan's afternoon drifted away, and when he left the bar, he was absolutely intent on getting Hayley back. Only slightly sobre, he made his way to her apartment, letting himself in with the keys he had received from the gorgeous girl. Before he entered, he knocked loudly, causing her to scramble to the door worriedly.

"Ryan?" she said, shocked that he stood a mere foot away from her. She smelt the heavy stench of alcohol in his breath, as she made his way over to him carefully, "Oh babe, you're wasted," she said, placing his arm around her shoulder as she led him over to the couch.

"No I'm not," Ryan retorted, following her with a sloppy stagger. She laughed, Yeah, you're so sobre Ryan it makes me sick, she thought, deciding not to fight with a drunk man.

"What'd you do to yourself, buddy?" she said affectionately, as she laid him down on the couch, "Well, you go to sleep Ryan. It'll do you good. When you wake up, you'll be up and out of my apartment," she said quietly. She couldn't say she was entirely forgetful of their earlier fight, but she couldn't stand to see Ryan like this. Either way, she silently swore to herself that she would not allow him to slither into her life once more.

"Hayles?" Ryan said, his voice a deep, almost moan. She looked over at him, running a hand through his hair. She nodded, and he continued, "I'm sorry- I, I really am." He stammered.

She smiled lightly, "Okay," she replied, giving him an understanding nod.

"No, I really mean it," he said, gulping lightly. I wonder if that's the beer talking, she thought to herself quietly, as she looked down at him meaningfully.

"Okay," she repeated, more convincingly this time around, "Rest- we'll talk later, okay Ryan?" Before her voice trailed off, she could hear his relaxed breathing. She saw that his eyes were closed, and that he seemed as lulled as he could possibly be. She smiled, giving him a light kiss on the cheek, before she walked off to do some work around the house. She couldn't help but realize how fond she was of this man. Even though her heart hadn't ached for him when her anger was fuming out of her, she wanted him back so badly now- now that she could endure some rational thinking. She let her thoughts drift, as she silently waited for Ryan to awake.

The hour did come- the next morning. When Hayley awoke, Ryan was already scurrying in the kitchen, a fine scent of breakfast replenishing the air. Hayley couldn't help but wake up, her taste buds craving a morning snack. She glanced in the mirror to fix her hair, before she made her way to the kitchen, "Still here?" she laughed lightly, yawning as she looked around.

"Yeah," Ryan smiled awkwardly, wondering if she was still hideously cross with him, "Speaking of which, I hope you're hungry," Ryan smiled, as he started to set platters of food on the table, all colourful and beautifully scented.

"You shouldn't have," Hayley said, biting her lip as she took in the sight of all the plates.

"No, I had to," Ryan stopped his work, as he sat down across from her, "I don't remember much from yesterday, but I do remember waking up here, so it must count for something. Even when I'm wasted, I'm thinking about you, Hayles," he laughed lightly.

She smiled, blushing carefully, "No, you really shouldn't have. I haven't done so many dishes in months," Hayley joked. Ryan took her hand in his, grinning lightly.

"Can you give me one more chance?"

Hayley thought for a moment, sighing lightly, "You know what Ryan?" she paused, "I don't want to go through this again. Honestly? I think I'm a better friend of yours, then a girlfriend, cause I don't know- no offense, you just never get anything right. But if you're my friend, you don't have to know that," she laughed casually, ignoring Ryan's hurt face, "Listen, be my friend. Don't ask for more- I can't be more with you," she shook her head gently, looking at Ryan, as she started to dig into the food, "By the way, you're an excellent cook." She smiled gratefully, as she swallowed her first gulp of food, "Ryan, can you tell me something as honestly as you can?"

"What?" Ryan replied, trying to sound as polite and understanding as he could.

"Have you ever really been in love?"

Ryan looked up at her abruptly, "Well, uh- er, yes. I have been,"

"Before me?" she pressed.

"A long while before you."

"Well then you don't need to explain. I was the rebound-girl. I kind of felt you weren't one-hundred percent mine," she smiled, "Really, it's okay," she replied, to his shocked expression, "At least you know what you want now, right?"

"Actually, I haven't got the slightest idea as to what I want," Ryan muttered, "You weren't just the rebound-girl. You were more to me than that,"

"Okay, if I wasn't the rebound girl, then you just emphasized my point. You care about me, but you don't love- well, you might, but as nothing more than a friend," she pressed her lips together, placing her filled fork into her mouth again, savouring the delicious breakfast.

"Hayles, why are you doing this to me? Everything was going fine-"

"No, it wasn't going fine," she hissed, her inner self finally making its way through her smile, "What is it with you guys? It wasn't fine, Ryan! It wasn't fine when you jetted off every morning for your new job, and left me there. It also wasn't fine when you thought it was alright to buy my love," she took a deep breath, and smiled again, "So can we just be friends, before we stop talking altogether?"

Ryan shook his head with a frown, as he set down his fork and knife on the table. He studied the table for a moment, before looking up, "I can't do that, Hayley," he nodded once, before he got to his feet, and started towards the door.

"Ryan!" Hayley called after him, stopping him right before we left, "Can we talk about this?"

"Seems like you've already made up your mind," Ryan muttered.

"Can you honestly tell me that you're in love with me?" Hayley bit her lip, giving him a brusque, harsh stare, that was extracting that lingering response. After a moment's worth of silence, she laughed once, "Exactly."