Instant Hero (Just Add Water)
By Becky CreightonDisclaimer: I don't own Metallica, Trivium or (cough) Justin Timberlake. Or any of the chain-stores mentioned.
Sorry for the huge delay to get this chapter done. There was just so much I had to do; I never had time for it. But anyway…
Many thanks to everyone who reviewed and thoughtfully added this to their favourites list. Any suggestions for what Marlin's sword should be called would be most welcome. I can't think of anything … I was going to call it Grace Bringer or Amazing Grace but they're too long and….unsword-like. But anyway, this chapter sees the beginning of some actual story progression. Enjoy reading….
Chapter 4: The Chapter That Was Supposed To Be Chapter 4 But Is Actually Chapter 5Not only had Marlin officially lost his mind, but he had lost Annabeth as well. As he gradually opened his eyes, the world seemed to swirl around him like a huge merry-go-round. Images from his life leapt into his memory; Manhattan Middle School, Murphy, Percy Jackson, Grace, Demeter, Camp Half-Blood….and then leapt out again. Each thing was just a spoonful in the great soup of life…And so Marlin tried to once again go back to sleep, attempting to combine it all together again, throwing the right ingredients into the pot of the Universe. As the ladle of sanity stirred reality back to where it was, Marlin shovelled a load of it into his soul, and found himself lying on a bed in cabin four, in a situation eerily similar to one he'd been in before, but couldn't quite remember…
'Right Marlin, enough philosophising. Get your ass out of bed.'
Marlin moaned at the sudden knowledge that he was in possession of a killer migraine. His brain had been frazzled or torched; someone had put petrol all over it and threw a match on top. His eyes were like lead, he couldn't wrench them open for good, because he just wanted to go back, far back, way back in time…and being awake now wasn't going to help.
"I see you're having difficulty regaining consciousness."
"What the heck?"
"It's only me, Marlin. This is the second time in a row you've been wounded and ended up here. I think we can figure out a new nickname for you…"
Marlin squinted and saw Matthias at the end of his bed.
"Help me Matt; I'm philosophising about soup."
"Soup?" Matthias questioned. "You are seriously losing it, Marlin." He grinned, revealing his slightly yellowed teeth. Too many strawberries, obviously.
"Chiron wants to interrogate you about Mr.E. That arrow was poisoned a bit… It's a good thing the Golden Fleece is still here."
"Golden Fleece?"
And at that moment Chiron, Thalia and Percy walked in, followed by Vince, Caitlin, Karmen, Thesi and Natascha. They all looked rather grim, and Natascha was chewing her fingernails like a chipmunk, which really shocked Marlin because she was obsessed with her nails.
"Marlin, we need to know exactly what happened. For all we know, this could be the first phase of Kronos' plan." Percy said. Marlin took a deep breath, and pretty much told them everything.
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"Yeah. Eros has got Annabeth. That's really what the gist of it is…" But there was no way he was going to tell them he'd fired the arrow. Or what he and Eros had discussed. Percy would hate him for eternity.
Percy started to bite his lips. Thalia buried her head into her hands.
"This is not good, not good at all…" she mumbled. Marlin felt a pang of wretchedness. Thalia had been a tree for about five or six years, all her friends were now considerably older, Metallica had now loads more albums she would have to buy, Luke was now a double-crossing asshole, she wasn't meant to exist, and now this. She hadn't got a smooth ride at all. Every person was engaged in his or her own woes, until the silence was broken.
"Well, what the hell are we waiting for?" Percy roared. "That jerk Eros has got Annabeth! Let's hunt him down!"
"Percy, you shouldn't make such rash decisions." Vince commented.
"I know, I know," Percy retorted, "But if we don't do something now, nothing will get done."
"Aye." Said a small rough voice at the back. They all turned around and saw that it was Thesi who had spoken. He raised his eyebrows in delight, now that he had their attention.
"Let's bust heads!" He cried. To Marlin's surprise, Karmen nodded.
"I agree with Thesi! I want a quest!"
"You would forget what the objective was as soon as you left camp, Space Cadet!" Natascha sneered.
"Why you;" Karmen shaked her fist, and then chanted, "QUEST QUEST QUEST! QUEST QUEST QUEST!! QUEST QUEST QUEST!!!"
And before Marlin could bat an eyelid the whole Demeter cabin, except himself and Vince, were now caught up in Karmen's protest. Even Thalia, who had been deprived of adventure for a long time, was now joining in.
"Enough!" Chiron yelled. All of the cheering campers promptly shut up. "Yes, we have already made it clear that immediate action will be necessary. More importantly is the situation that we are now in."
"What do you mean?" Caitlin quizzed.
"Dear child, do you know who Mr.E's parents are?"
"Um, Aphrodite and Ares?"
"Yes." Chiron nodded sagely, "But I wouldn't go throwing around those names if I were you. What that means is that both deities are now against Athena, this being demonstrated by Annabeth's kidnapping. The gods are already taking sides."
"Taking sides?" Percy asked, dreading the answer.
"It appears so. But it is only making what is to follow happen faster. The gods know of the Titan Lord's growing strength and ambition, and are now making pre-emptive moves to see if they can sway the flow of power to different sides. And Nature, I'm afraid, Marlin, will have to suffer for it."
Marlin gulped, and felt his eyes begin to swell with tears. He'd only been here several weeks, and for the first time in a very long while he had been genuinely happy. And now, just like that, it was all going to be taken away, along with the rest of world, a world he'd probably never get to set eyes on. His mind exploded somewhere along the line.
"THEN WHAT THE HELL ARE WE WAITING FOR?!?!?" He yelled. Marlin threw himself out of bed to face his audience of shocked half bloods. "I'm not about to let these weirdoes blow up the planet without having a say in it first!"
"YES!" the whole cabin replied.
Chiron frowned, heaved a sigh, and then finally said in defeat, "It will be no easy undertaking. Marlin, you will have to meet the Oracle tomorrow and receive this quest. As much as I want to stop you getting involved in this mess, the circumstances leave me no choice."
"We need an army. A big one." Percy announced. Thesi's face lit up at the mention of army.
"And just how are we going to do that, Seaweed Brain?" Thalia teased. Percy looked fondly at his watch, tapped it thoughtfully, and then looked up.
"You'll see."
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The next day, Marlin woke up feeling more refreshed than a lemon and a coconut thrown into a lime and a fountain. With orange juice. As he opened his eyes and yawned his usual, gorilla style yawn, he became aware that the entire Demeter cabin was empty.
"What the heck?" he mumbled, not for the first time. Marlin threw on his clothes, and just as he was about to bolt outside he knew that they were all in the commons yard. He just knew somehow. 'Yes, the milkshake has done something to me.' He thought. And he was right, because just as Marlin reached the entrance, a huge massive guy just came out of nowhere, and he had one eye.
"Aaaack!" he squealed.
"Sign up for Dark Chaos Full Metal Skeleton Death Warriors, a new army designed by Ms. Thalia the Metallica Necromancer and Percy Jackson! Join them in the epic conquest to kick Kronos' butt all the way back to Tartarus! All volunteers get a free Trivium t-shirt and helmet! No Hip Hop fans allowed!"
"You scared the living guacamole out of me!" Marlin spluttered feebly, trying to regain his breath and sanity again.
"Don't worry. I like to meet new people." The cyclops said, and smiled amiably. "My name is Tyson. Percy is my brother. What's your name?"
"Percy…is your brother?" At that, Tyson's face brightened and swelled with pride.
"Percy is the best big brother in the world!"
"I see…" Marlin was stunned. He had not seen that coming. As he went to the centre of the commons yard, Thalia and Percy were sitting down at two tables, and queues of excited people were bunched together like sardines in a can. One particularly bubbly girl from the Aphrodite cabin scribbled down her name so fast on a sheet of paper that Marlin found it hard to believe she was writing English. The girl made a passing remark about Justin Timberlake, which insulted Thalia deeply, and before he knew it both girls were having a full on argument based on their music sense. It got so bad and the girl was getting so pissed off, that Thalia decided to rub it in her face and turned on her stereo at top volume. Metallica's Master of Puppets blared out like a siren, and Thalia chuckled as the girl clasped her hands to her ears and screeched like she had some sort of disease. The girl promptly crossed her name off the list, and stomped off, muttering insults and cursing heavy metal.
"Way to go, Thalia!" Percy praised.
"Anyone who likes Justin Timberlake must not be given any mercy." Thalia responded austerely. It was her sole, destined duty to wipe out the unbelievers in Death Metal. Percy nodded in agreement, sniggering under his breath. Marlin then knew what Percy's plan had been. He was recruiting an army of half bloods.
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Marlin sprinted up to Thalia, who was enjoying her music and handing out the Trivium merchandise with pride and contentment.
"Thalia, what on earth is going on here?"
"Percy wanted to raise an army so we can storm out Eros. We think he's hiding in Olympus."
"Olympus?" Marlin had sudden fears of seeing his mother, Demeter. What was she like? Would she like him? Did she even care he existed? He shuddered, pushing it out of his mind, like what he did with all his other emotions.
"Why Olympus?"
" 'Cus that's where the gods live, dummy!"
"Oh yeah…" he mumbled feeling stupid.
"Eros has a huge palace up there, filled with golden hearts, statues of himself and abstract art deco."
"What an arrogant sod!" Marlin protested.
"New York will be a difficult place to navigate. It's filled with chain-stores and everything."
Marlin blinked. "What's so bad about chain-stores?"
"Everything, Marlin. The main culprits are McDonalds, Starbucks and Wal-Mart. Monsters everywhere…" Thalia said it so seriously and anxiously that Marlin was beginning to feel she meant it. "I hear in the United Kingdom the supermarket Tescos is also a force to be reckoned with."
"I'll take your word for it."
Caitlin crept up behind Marlin silently, and prepared to pounce. Thalia bit her lips to stop herself laughing.
"What?" he inquired, his paranoia building up like a giant wobbly tower o' doom.
"BOO!" Caitlin boomed, and leapt up.
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh!" Marlin screeched, as she grappled with his neck. He started to run around in hysterics, spluttering things out loud that any other time of day would've branded him an idiot, which the other half – bloods had done so already.
"What did you that for?" he demanded, glaring at her suspiciously with frightened eyes, darting from side to side.
"The look on your face is priceless." Thalia commented.
"You need to see the Oracle, remember? That's why nobody's gone yet. We're all waiting for you to get this prophecy."
"Oh yeah." Marlin muttered, staring with dread at the gloomy, empty farmhouse that slouched on the ground to the east. "That place."
Marlin trudged reluctantly over to it, as the eyes of all the campers who'd signed up for Thalia's army followed him attentively. The farmhouse's shadow grew over him; it's windows seemingly watching him, as if to decide the optimum moment to smash all over him. Marlin trembled slightly as he felt along the farmhouse's doorpost.
'Think happy thoughts…. Sunshine, lollipops and, rainbows and buttercups-'
Then he slowly began his ascension up to the attic, where absolutely anything could greet him.
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Twenty minutes and a good amount of underpants soiling later… XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX"So how was it? Not the prettiest sight in the world, was it?" Percy asked, as Marlin scurried down all four flights of stairs wearing an expression that you could win staring matches with.
"Um, yeah. Never felt better." He feebly replied, half-whimpering.
"We're all gonna get ourselves equipped, then we'll barge out of camp." Thalia announced, donning a confident smile and slung a quiver over her back.
"Is that the best idea?" Marlin questioned, still reeling in shock after his encounter with the Oracle. The experience had shook up his opinion about the affair, and he wasn't sure he could trust the information with anyone. Not even you, faithful reader.
"We need to get Annabeth back as soon as we can. We're not going to delay this any longer, Mr.E has wings, so he has probably gained a lot of ground."
"But what about Murphy? He doesn't know about any of this…"
"Stop badgering over everything, Marly!" Natascha commanded. Marlin twirled around in shock, surprised to see all his six siblings wearing Greek battle armour behind him. They all looked so …poised. But Marlin thought that he was just going to mindlessly lead them to their doom by taking them on this quest. "You won't get anywhere by just worrying. Relax, there are loads of us. We'll win!"
Marlin sighed. "You're right. C'mon, are we going to fight this little bow-wielding Cupid bloke or what?"
"YES!" The entire clan of Dark Chaos Full Metal Skeleton Death Warriors chorused back, making Marlin jump. They had appeared out of nowhere, apparently. At the front, Percy and Thalia headed them all, and Marlin suddenly felt out of place, the same feeling he had when he first entered the camp, the reason being that he was the only one not ready. Most of them were wearing their Trivium t-shirts, even the Aphrodite people, who didn't approve much of death metal.
"Uh, yeah, thanks guys for signing up and all, but I need to get my stuff together…"
There was a collective groan.
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Marlin felt really stupid, being the last person to get ready for the quest. His own quest. The Dark Chaos Full Metal Skeleton Death Warriors all glued their eyes to him as he marched to the front of the procession alongside Percy, Thalia and the Demeter Cabin. All the cabins present held up massive banners representing their patron god or goddess; Clarisse wielded a banner displaying a boar's head impaled on a spear, the background red with blood. Apollo's cabin had a harp emblazoned on their flag. Marlin was caught in awe at how much detail had gone into the flags, but he was sorrowed at whether it would all go to waste. Chiron trotted up to the assembled army looking more solemn than the grave.
"Well, you're all here…" he murmured. Almost the entire Camp Half-Blood had joined; Marlin suspected Chiron's job was going to be slightly boring when they left.
"As much as I am opposed to this quest, the circumstances have proven otherwise. Times are rife with danger and obviously Camp Half-Blood will be no safer if action is not sought…but remember. You are the children of gods. But you are not invincible. Do not stride blindly into danger. Use your head a bit more than your sword, and you might just keep both."
There was a ripple of nodding heads.
"Ahem." Someone coughed. Percy looked round and saw that it was Mr.D who had interrupted.
"Just a couple of words." He said. He stood up from the ledge he was sitting on, and cleared his throat.
"Just to let you know, I won't give a fig if you all get killed, because this is clear clinching proof that your supposed godly blood has fizzled up your little brains and done something to your heads. It will be your loss." Mr.D gave a wry smile and sat down at his table, and started a game of pinochle with a dryad that happened to be there.
"Wow. Most encouraging." Percy muttered under his breath.
Five minutes later, they went on their way; the quest had started, and Marlin could barely believe it himself.
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Just as Marlin passed the pine tree that Thalia was once trapped in, he saw Thalia stop at its foot, silent. She mouthed a couple of words, got down on her knees, and said something in ancient Greek. She got up, wiped some stray tears from her cheeks, and continued. Marlin decided not to pry.
"So, what I think is that Mr.D should drink Fanta or Sprite instead of Diet Coke. Therefore, he will be more hyper and less grouchy, and then we would actually like him!" Karmen argued.
"Are you insane?" Matthias countered. "A non-grouchy Mr.D? Yeah, and the sky is made of gold."
"She is insane." Vince chuckled.
"What are you lot blabbing on about?" Marlin asked. Karmen took a breath, and prepared to answer until she gasped and pointed behind his shoulder. Vince and Matthias realised what she was pointing at, and froze as well.
"What?" He turned around, and froze as well.
"HELP MEEEEEEEE!!!"
It was Murphy, clutching the limp body of a girl, and was being pursued by ten hellhounds and a giant harpy.