Disclaimer: Phaerie does not own Harry Potter and Co.

Giving Him a Chance

Chapter Four

Of Tearing Up and Tearing Down

Lily stormed down the corridor leading from Gryffindor Tower to the Entrance Hall, the sound of her stomping footsteps bouncing from one stone wall to the other loudly. She could feel hot tears building up at the corners of her eyes and decided to take a detour to the Great Hall. Her pace quickened as the salty drops began to fall, but she didn't allow herself to break down until she was hidden behind the closed door of an empty classroom, safe from the curious stares of the gossipy paintings and wandering students.

She fell back against the worn wood of the door and slid slowly to the stone floor, her chest constricting with gasping sobs. Her emotions were racing all over the place and throwing her mind into confusion.

First her two closest friends had the gall to try and convince her to go out with Potter when they knew how much she couldn't stand him. Then when she tried to explain to them, again, just why she couldn't stand him, they basically accused her of being unnecessarily petty. Why was everyone always on that bastard's side? How could they fail to see how truly horrible he was? Had no one else ever managed to see through all his lies?

Through the chaotic whirlwind of thoughts and feelings crashing around inside her head, a single memory began replaying before Lily's inner eye in perfect clarity.

Lily slammed shut the tomb of a book sitting on the table before her and scowled around the library. Exams were already over so there was absolutely no reason for her to be there, which was actually the only reason why she was there. Charlotte and Helen would never come looking for her here, despite it being her usual haunt. Once exams finished, Lily happily deserted the library in favor of the outdoors or extra sleep in her comfy bed, and her sixth year would have been no exception if her friends weren't on the prowl looking to chew her out for yelling at Potter.

Really, it wasn't as if it was the first time she'd said something nasty to him in order to wipe that arrogant smirk off of his face; she didn't see why they should suddenly get upset with her about it. All right, so yes, she had been a right bitch to him—as Helen so eloquently put it—but she was always a right bitch when it came to all things Potter.

Although, she supposed it wasn't necessary to insult his manhood in such a crude fashion in front of half the student body, but the bastard had it coming. Or so she adamantly claimed. She hadn't actually given him a chance to get out whatever it was he had been trying to say when he'd approached her outside the Great Hall earlier. And he had looked particularly hurt that his precious Lily-flower had seen fit to humiliate him so completely when he hadn't even done anything at the moment to warrant it.

Lily sighed and looked down at the table dejectedly. She had been exceptionally cruel earlier, and Potter hadn't technically deserved it. She guessed it was best to just follow Charlotte's advice and apologize to the idiot. Besides, she really wanted to go back to the dorm and finally sleep for a full night.

Lily stood and went to replace the book she'd been hiding behind back onto the proper shelf before making her way out of the library and towards the Gryffindor common room. She stopped to exchange pleasantries with the Fat Lady (always best to butter her up when you were trying to get inside the common room after curfew, as Lily was doing now) before offering the password and peeking around the portrait to check who might be in the common room and spiteful enough to rat on her.

There was a group of what looked like fifth through seventh years in one corner near the fire, but they all seemed too preoccupied with whatever it was they'd gathered for to notice her coming in. She slowly pushed open the portrait hole and made to step into the room as quietly as she could, keeping an eye on the group in the corner.

Then she noticed just what it was that they were all so focused on and froze, still halfway in the hall. There in the center with all eyes focused on him, as always, was James Potter. Snogging Jamika Watson.

Lily could feel all the blood draining from her face and felt faint. She stumbled back into the corridor, ignoring the Fat Lady's inquiries as she raced back to her sanctuary.

Once again ensconced in the protective aisles of the library, her feet continued to carry her to the far most corner, her body on autopilot but completely sure of where it was going as it maneuvered between the bookshelves seamlessly. She stopped abruptly just before she ran into the wall and turned around to lean against it.

That stupid berk, Lily thought angrily. There she was on her way to apologize to him, and he was making out in the common room with that fifth-year Watson who all the other girls secretly referred to as the slut of Gryffindor due to her well-publicized sexual exploits. Lily could feel angry tears starting to prick at her eyes and balled one hand into a fist against the stone wall.

That's probably what he was going to tell me earlier. He's moved , how sad, she thought sarcastically. But then a wave of pure, undiluted hurt passed through her and she felt her knees give way. Potter had given up on her. It should've been a fucking miracle, but Lily didn't feel elated in the least.

She felt numb.

And she couldn't get the thought out of her head.

James gave up on me.

The next day found Lily awakening during the wee hours before dawn in the library. There were dried tear tracks running down the sides of her face, and she rubbed at the itching skin. She got off the cold floor and started making her way back to her dorm, all in a daze.

At first she hadn't known why she'd been bothered so much by the fact that she'd seen Potter with another girl. But after puzzling through it for well over an hour, she'd finally realized that she was jealous. She actually had feelings for that prat. Of course, she didn't realize this until he'd already moved on. But it was only a little crush, she told herself firmly. She'd be over him just the same in no time. 'No time' apparently lasted longer than six hours, though.

Lily didn't bother trying to go back to sleep once she was in Gryffindor Tower. She just headed straight for the showers, changed into a clean uniform, and headed down to the Great Hall. She was the first one there, and it was quite awhile before anyone else showed up and even longer before any food appeared. Even once the tables were overflowing with dishes, she just stared straight ahead, not actually seeing anything.

The Marauders entered the Hall surprisingly early, and James made a beeline for her as soon as he'd stepped through the doors. She felt the sudden urge to hurl as he approached her, no doubt wanting to say what she hadn't let him say the day before.

"You all right, Lily? You look like you might be coming down with something?" James asked her concernedly, sliding onto the bench across from her.

"Fine," she replied, her voice sounding scratchy.

"You sure?" he pressed. Lily felt a tickle of annoyance and let it be known in the narrowing of her eyes. James threw his hands up defensively, "Sorry."

Lily sighed and looked down at the table and the empty plate sitting before her. "What do you want?"

James suddenly grinned. "Nothing much. Just a date," he answered cheekily.

Lily's head snapped up, and she practically gawked at him. That arrogant arse actually had the audacity to sit before her and ask her out when he'd been making out with the sluttiest girl in Gryffindor last night for the whole Tower to see?

It seemed James hadn't given up on her after all. No, Lily quickly concluded, he was never interested in her in the first place. She was just a challenge; an obstacle that his ego needed to overcome.

She wasn't sure when exactly she'd stood up, but she apparently had at some point. She stood over James, her entire body quaking with rage, before she drew her arm back and socked him full on in the nose.

Lily pulled herself from her memories by banging her head against the door behind her twice. Taking a shuddering breath, she scrubbed at her cheeks and eyes with her sleeves. She stood slowly and opened the door with an air of finality. Potter was a jerk and she was never going to go on a date with him. Surprise, surprise, she thought as she slowly continued down to the Great Hall. The Cons have it.